Comments on: American Muslim Women Complain of Lack of Good Suitors http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/ Muslim Matrimonials, Muslim Wedding Photos, and Arab Singles Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:44:11 -0800 hourly 1 By: Moazzam Naseer http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-3621 Moazzam Naseer Sat, 21 Jan 2012 09:46:29 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-3621 True, that's a human psyche :) True, that’s a human psyche :)

]]> By: Moazzam Naseer http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-3620 Moazzam Naseer Sat, 21 Jan 2012 09:42:24 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-3620 AoA, I don't know what i was searching for and what brought me here. As this is one of my concern too and a pain in the neck for the past few years so thought to share my own views and experience. agreement with this by any or many is not mandatory because we are almost 7 billion human beings on earth yet every individual is unique. well in my opinion this is not the matter of being an "American" or being a "Muslim Women" or just being an American Muslim women. its been almost 3~4 years for me having the same problem of not being able to find a suitor, neither i am american nor i am a women :) what's wrong then? don't want to complain to all the women out there let me take the half of the responsibility but still 50 % are the women to be blamed and 50 % the men as today no one can say for sure what they are after. everyone in my opinion is looking for the whole package, education, looks, religion, family bla bla bla. As everyone believes i was built to be the best number one and nothing less :)). After completing my education and finding a nice job started struggling to settle down and hard struggle of 3~4 years i thought well i don't want to die virgin lets give a try to some non Muslim girls because its hard being that way especially while you are living in Europe and its been almost 2 years when I started looking for something serious in non Muslims girls i found out more or less the same problems what set me back was like more or less all the non Muslim girls were of the view that marrying a man without mating is like buying a car without a test drive hahaha, that put me back again looking for a Muslim women and still no avail lol and this is leading to no where. i think its not to blame others but to look into our self. its not the problem we cant find a better suitors but we are not being a better suitors, is the problem. I have read it somewhere that we are living in a mean world where everyone want love but no one want to give it out. with respect. AoA,

I don’t know what i was searching for and what brought me here. As this is one of my concern too and a pain in the neck for the past few years so thought to share my own views and experience. agreement with this by any or many is not mandatory because we are almost 7 billion human beings on earth yet every individual is unique.
well in my opinion this is not the matter of being an “American” or being a “Muslim Women” or just being an American Muslim women. its been almost 3~4 years for me having the same problem of not being able to find a suitor, neither i am american nor i am a women :) what’s wrong then? don’t want to complain to all the women out there let me take the half of the responsibility but still 50 % are the women to be blamed and 50 % the men as today no one can say for sure what they are after. everyone in my opinion is looking for the whole package, education, looks, religion, family bla bla bla. As everyone believes i was built to be the best number one and nothing less :) ).
After completing my education and finding a nice job started struggling to settle down and hard struggle of 3~4 years i thought well i don’t want to die virgin lets give a try to some non Muslim girls because its hard being that way especially while you are living in Europe and its been almost 2 years when I started looking for something serious in non Muslims girls i found out more or less the same problems what set me back was like more or less all the non Muslim girls were of the view that marrying a man without mating is like buying a car without a test drive hahaha, that put me back again looking for a Muslim women and still no avail lol and this is leading to no where.
i think its not to blame others but to look into our self. its not the problem we cant find a better suitors but we are not being a better suitors, is the problem. I have read it somewhere that we are living in a mean world where everyone want love but no one want to give it out.
with respect.

]]> By: MC http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-3464 MC Sun, 01 Jan 2012 02:11:45 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-3464 THIS IS AN INTERESTING TOPIC. THE PROBLEM HAS VERY MUCH TO DO WITH WHAT WE WOMEN WANT OUR BROTHERS AND SONS TO HAVE AS A WIFE - SOMEONE WHO IS SUBMISSIVE, "RESPECTFUL," AND HONORABLE! WE WOMEN ARE THE PROBLEM! WE WANT AS MUCH INFLUENCE IN OURS SONS' LIVES AS POSSIBLE. MOST MUSLIM MEN ARE MAMA'S BOYS! WE WORRY ABOUT EDUCATING WOMEN AND WOMEN'S RIGHTS - HAVE WE THOUGHT ABOUT RE-EDUCATING MEN. UNTIL WE CHANGE HOW MEN PERCEIVE US, THIS PROBLEM WILL ONLY GROW. ALSO HOW ARE ALL OF US TO BE INDEPENDENT THINKING HUMAN BEINGS IF WE HAVE VERY LITTLE SAY IN MAING THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF OUR LIVES. THERE NEED TO BE MORE PLACES FOR YOUNG, SINGLE, EDUCATED MEN AND WOMEN TO MEET WITHOUT PARENTAL SUPERVISION. THIS IS AN INTERESTING TOPIC. THE PROBLEM HAS VERY MUCH TO DO WITH WHAT WE WOMEN WANT OUR BROTHERS AND SONS TO HAVE AS A WIFE – SOMEONE WHO IS SUBMISSIVE, “RESPECTFUL,” AND HONORABLE! WE WOMEN ARE THE PROBLEM! WE WANT AS MUCH INFLUENCE IN OURS SONS’ LIVES AS POSSIBLE. MOST MUSLIM MEN ARE MAMA’S BOYS! WE WORRY ABOUT EDUCATING WOMEN AND WOMEN’S RIGHTS – HAVE WE THOUGHT ABOUT RE-EDUCATING MEN. UNTIL WE CHANGE HOW MEN PERCEIVE US, THIS PROBLEM WILL ONLY GROW. ALSO HOW ARE ALL OF US TO BE INDEPENDENT THINKING HUMAN BEINGS IF WE HAVE VERY LITTLE SAY IN MAING THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF OUR LIVES. THERE NEED TO BE MORE PLACES FOR YOUNG, SINGLE, EDUCATED MEN AND WOMEN TO MEET WITHOUT PARENTAL SUPERVISION.

]]> By: hey http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-2620 hey Fri, 30 Sep 2011 09:24:21 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-2620 Hi, Well, I tried the web, but it worse than anything in the world...I actually advice you not go there at all, because there are men who have done terrible things and over-aged that are looking for a NEW ONE only. I think muslims have issues!!! and if there were "good" muslims men they wanted that their wife stay at home and bla bla bla!!! I have another question: what is wrong with finding a christian man and then help him to convert to islam...well some christian men are much more calm than muslims men...I do not think that a muslim man praying every single of his prayers everyday on time, i think you are also agree with me... and another problem which I have now is that nobody in my family help me with this issue, so I have to do it all by myself...my next question is that, is that ok to go on dates alone with men (example for a coffee or movie...)...I mean to go to date with a man and if it sounds or looked that he is not the right one just stop that immediately...if I do not talk and see men, how should I find the right one...should I accept the fact that after hundreds of dating, Maybe the right one can be found or ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Hi,

Well, I tried the web, but it worse than anything in the world…I actually advice you not go there at all, because there are men who have done terrible things and over-aged that are looking for a NEW ONE only. I think muslims have issues!!! and if there were “good” muslims men they wanted that their wife stay at home and bla bla bla!!!

I have another question: what is wrong with finding a christian man and then help him to convert to islam…well some christian men are much more calm than muslims men…I do not think that a muslim man praying every single of his prayers everyday on time, i think you are also agree with me…

and another problem which I have now is that nobody in my family help me with this issue, so I have to do it all by myself…my next question is that, is that ok to go on dates alone with men (example for a coffee or movie…)…I mean to go to date with a man and if it sounds or looked that he is not the right one just stop that immediately…if I do not talk and see men, how should I find the right one…should I accept the fact that after hundreds of dating, Maybe the right one can be found or ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

]]> By: Mahmood http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-2376 Mahmood Fri, 19 Aug 2011 21:27:58 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-2376 AoA everybody I am kind of glad that you people have a forum over here that discusses such a sensitive issue. I'd been contemplating this issue since quite long and eventually reached the solution that Islam actually gave us a system which, had we followed, would have automatically taken care of this problem. Just think the reason behind allowing a man to marry multiple women, this was in place throughout the time of the Prophet (PBUH) and the time of the blessed companions and I believe still exists in Arab world. We were destroyed by the non mulsim cultures where Polygamy was prohibited and we borrowed their ideology so much that any man who had more than one wife was despised. Just think Allah (SWT) Himself allowed men to marry more than one wife. Just imagine the receiving end of the consequences are the several thousands of innocent girls who cant find anyone to marry. AoA everybody

I am kind of glad that you people have a forum over here that discusses such a sensitive issue. I’d been contemplating this issue since quite long and eventually reached the solution that Islam actually gave us a system which, had we followed, would have automatically taken care of this problem. Just think the reason behind allowing a man to marry multiple women, this was in place throughout the time of the Prophet (PBUH) and the time of the blessed companions and I believe still exists in Arab world. We were destroyed by the non mulsim cultures where Polygamy was prohibited and we borrowed their ideology so much that any man who had more than one wife was despised.

Just think Allah (SWT) Himself allowed men to marry more than one wife. Just imagine the receiving end of the consequences are the several thousands of innocent girls who cant find anyone to marry.

]]> By: homam http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-2357 homam Mon, 15 Aug 2011 02:01:04 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-2357 Asalamo 3alaicom All; What a great subject you discuss here.. I would like to say that it is not only that the muslim women have hard time to find their suitors, but men also feel the same way. I hope somebody bring out the main reasons behind this cruise. As we all know, Alhamdo lillah there are many men and women out there, but the quality of men/women is always questionable. I think, our responsibility is to be knowledgeable of our religion, but since we all know a little thing of Islam and we think that we are scholar instead. Thus, we become using our desires, opinions, feelings, and dreams easily whenever comes to discuss or solve Islamic matter which is already set up by Islamic perspective. Many people don't even bother their selves to look at the answer in the Islamic sources or ask scholars about it if they don't know. The marriage is already mentioned and discuss in details, but the problem in here is we still talk out range of the main point of the marriage and turn in empty circle. As if we are not satisfied with what we already have in our books and sources. There is not problem with women to be educated and successful or do business ect... But we do have a problem when women don't know how to balance between their work life and family life; Some women don't appreciate their responsibilities toward their husbands and respect them. the same thing for men has a big commandment toward their wives.) The marriage in Islam is respect, tolerance, corporation, help, love, brotherhood, and sincere obey to Allah. If we (men and women) become aware of all of these principals, the effect of choosing a right person will not be a problem ever. I am providing my advice to whom wants to get married, please go and take a book called ''tuhfat al3arouss". it is very precious book. Thanks brother and sisters..may allah bless all of you. Asalamo 3alaicom All;
What a great subject you discuss here.. I would like to say that it is not only that the muslim women have hard time to find their suitors, but men also feel the same way. I hope somebody bring out the main reasons behind this cruise.
As we all know, Alhamdo lillah there are many men and women out there, but the quality of men/women is always questionable. I think, our responsibility is to be knowledgeable of our religion, but since we all know a little thing of Islam and we think that we are scholar instead. Thus, we become using our desires, opinions, feelings, and dreams easily whenever comes to discuss or solve Islamic matter which is already set up by Islamic perspective. Many people don’t even bother their selves to look at the answer in the Islamic sources or ask scholars about it if they don’t know. The marriage is already mentioned and discuss in details, but the problem in here is we still talk out range of the main point of the marriage and turn in empty circle. As if we are not satisfied with what we already have in our books and sources.
There is not problem with women to be educated and successful or do business ect… But we do have a problem when women don’t know how to balance between their work life and family life; Some women don’t appreciate their responsibilities toward their husbands and respect them. the same thing for men has a big commandment toward their wives.) The marriage in Islam is respect, tolerance, corporation, help, love, brotherhood, and sincere obey to Allah. If we (men and women) become aware of all of these principals, the effect of choosing a right person will not be a problem ever.
I am providing my advice to whom wants to get married, please go and take a book called ”tuhfat al3arouss”. it is very precious book.
Thanks brother and sisters..may allah bless all of you.

]]> By: abukhadija http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-1256 abukhadija Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:13:24 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-1256 sure you need to be careful. sure you need to be careful.

]]> By: abukhadija http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-1255 abukhadija Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:12:12 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-1255 it is more important to get a partner who is real down to earth, following islam. it is more important to get a partner who is real down to earth, following islam.

]]> By: hussain http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-1251 hussain Sun, 28 Nov 2010 21:36:10 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-1251 aslam o alikum to every one..... i think its diffiecult to find a husband r wife from web.i personly try for wife i cant bcaz u cant find a a good friend r a girl who want marrige.pepols just kidding.this is my experince i try but its loss of money.take care on web search a good man r women with family on web. (MY ENGLISH IS NOT GOOD SORRY FOR THIS) aslam o alikum to every one…..

i think its diffiecult to find a husband r wife from web.i personly try for wife i cant bcaz u cant find a a good friend r a girl who want marrige.pepols just kidding.this is my experince i try but its loss of money.take care on web search a good man r women with family on web.

(MY ENGLISH IS NOT GOOD SORRY FOR THIS)

]]> By: Wael http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-1225 Wael Sun, 14 Nov 2010 20:06:17 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-1225 As-salamu alaykum sister. There's nothing wrong with using an online matrimonial service as long as you stick to Islamic guidelines. Keep your discussion only about appropriate topics, with the intention of discovering whether you and the other person are compatible for marriage. Do not post any revealing photos, or take your discussion offline without involving your family. If you meet someone who seems to have potential, get your family involved. Wael Zawaj.com Editor As-salamu alaykum sister. There’s nothing wrong with using an online matrimonial service as long as you stick to Islamic guidelines. Keep your discussion only about appropriate topics, with the intention of discovering whether you and the other person are compatible for marriage. Do not post any revealing photos, or take your discussion offline without involving your family. If you meet someone who seems to have potential, get your family involved.

Wael
Zawaj.com Editor

]]> By: hey http://www.zawaj.com/american-muslim-women-complain-of-lack-of-good-suitors/comment-page-1/#comment-1224 hey Sun, 14 Nov 2010 16:08:47 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/?p=1137#comment-1224 hi, Do you think finding husband or wife from the web is right?!!!!!!!!I do not know, we are very open minded family, I do not wear scarf, I wear t-shirt...but in matters like with boys our family is too strict...you know what I mean....the rules before marriage..... but I am outsite with my friends, I do not drink or smoke...my friends are boys and girls..I avoid people if they try to do some negative move, but I do not have "negative" friend like that :)....I work a lot, studying a lot....anyway and my family know this very bad, "this" i mean to find a partner from the web!!! And I really want to married....so badly, I feel very bad to stay virgin after my 30! is this right, the web thing!!!!!!!! hi,

Do you think finding husband or wife from the web is right?!!!!!!!!I do not know, we are very open minded family, I do not wear scarf, I wear t-shirt…but in matters like with boys our family is too strict…you know what I mean….the rules before marriage….. but I am outsite with my friends, I do not drink or smoke…my friends are boys and girls..I avoid people if they try to do some negative move, but I do not have “negative” friend like that :) ….I work a lot, studying a lot….anyway and my family know this very bad, “this” i mean to find a partner from the web!!! And I really want to married….so badly, I feel very bad to stay virgin after my 30! is this right, the web thing!!!!!!!!

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