The Muslim Home:
By Sheikh Muhammad Salih Al-Munajjid
- Forming the Household
- Creating an Atmosphere of Faith in the Home
- Islamic Knowledge in the Home
- Meetings at Home - (this section is missing)
- Good Manners at Home
- Evils in the Home - (this section is missing)
- The Home Inside and Out
Bismillah ir-Rahmaan ir-Raheem
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
All praise be to Allah, we praise Him and seek His help and
forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil of our own
selves and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides, no one
can lead astray, and whomsoever Allah leaves astray, no one can
guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah Alone, with
no partner or associate, and I bear witness that Muhammad is
His slave and Messenger.
The Home is a Blessing
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And
Allah has made for you in your homes an abode" [al-Nahl,
Ibn Katheer (Ra) said: "Here Allah, may He be blessed
and exalted, is mentioning His complete blessing to His slaves:
'He has given them homes which are a peaceful abode for them,
to which they retreat as a haven which covers them and gives
them all kinds of benefits.'"
What does the home represent to each one of us? Is it not
the place where he eats, enjoys intimacy with his wife, sleeps
and rests? Is it not the place where he can be alone and can
meet with his wife and children?
Is the home not the place that offers cover and protection
to women? Allah tells us: "And stay
in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the
times of ignorance" [al-Ahzaab, 33:33].
If you think about those who are homeless, who live in shelters,
or on the streets, or as refugees scattered in temporary camps,
then you will realize the blessing of having a home. If you listen
to a distressed homeless person saying, "I have nowhere
to settle, no fixed place to stay. Sometimes I sleep in so and
so's house, sometimes in a caf or park or on the sea-front,
and I keep my clothes in my car", then you will realize
the disruption that results from not having the blessing of a
When Allah punished the Jews of Banu Nadeer, He took away
this blessing and expelled them from their homes, as He said:
"He it is Who drove out the disbelievers
among the people of the Scripture (i.e. the Jews of the tribe
of Banu al-Nadeer) from their homes at the first gathering."
Then He said: "They destroyed their
own dwellings with their own hands and the hands of the believers.
Then take admonition, O you with eyes (to see)" [al-Hashr,
There are many motives for the believer to pay attention to
putting his house in order. First, protecting himself and his
family from the Fire of Hell, and keeping them safe from the
burning punishment: "O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves
and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones,
over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey
not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but
do that which they are commanded" [al-Tahreem, 66:6].
Second, the great responsibility borne by the head of the
household on the Day of Reckoning. The Prophet (peace be upon
him - sallahu allahi wa salaam) said: "Allah will ask every
shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock (those for whom
he was responsible), whether he took care of it or neglected
it, until He asks a man about his household."
Third, the home is a place to protect oneself, to keep away
from evil and to keep one's own evil away from people. It is
the refuge prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah (strife, tribulation).
The Prophet (saws) said: "Blessed is the one who controls
his tongue, whose house is sufficient for him, and who weeps
over his mistakes."
And the Prophet (saws) said: "There are five things,
whoever does one of them, Allah will be with him: visiting the
sick, going out for jihad, entering upon his leader with the
intention of rebuking him, or sitting in his home so that the
people are safe from him and he is safe from the people."
(or as he said it).
And the Prophet (saws) said: "The safety of a man
at times of fitnah is in his staying home."
The Muslim can see the benefit of this advice when he is residing
in a foreign land where he is unable to change much of the evil
around him. Then he will have a refuge which, when he enters
it, will protect him from doing haram things or looking at haram
things, and will protect h is wife from wanton display and unveiling,
and will protect his children from bad company.
Fourth, people usually spend most of their time at home, especially
when it is very hot or very cold, when it is raining, early or
late in the day, and after finishing work or school, so this
time should be spent in worship and halaal pursuits, otherwise
it will be spent in wrongdoing.
Fifth and most importantly, paying attention to the home is
the most important means of building a Muslim society, because
the society is formed of the households and families that form
its building blocks. Households form neighborhoods, and neighborhoods
form societies. If the building blocks are sound, the society
will be based on the laws of Allah, standing firm in the face
of enemies and filled with goodness that evil cannot penetrate.
Then Muslim homes will produce pillars of society who will reform
and guide it aright, such as exemplary dai'yahs, seekers of knowledge,
sincere mujaahideen, righteous wives, caring mothers and all
other types of reformers. Because this subject is so important,
and our homes are full of so many shortcomings and evils and
examples of negligence, this begs the very important question:
What are the means of reforming our homes? The following contains
advice on this topic. May Allah benefit us from it, and cause
the Muslims to focus their efforts on reviving the Muslim home.
All the following advice revolves around two things: achieving
our interests, which is by establishing that which is right and
good, and warding off evil, by removing that which can cause
it or bring it into our homes.
2. Forming The Household
Making a good choice when choosing a wife; "And
marry those among you who are single (i.e., a man who has no
wife and a woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon
(pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants
(female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out
of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures'
needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)" [al-Noor,
24:32]. The head of the household must select a righteous and
suitable wife based on the following conditions described in
"A woman may be married for four things: her wealth,
her lineage, her beauty or her religion. Choose the one who is
religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you
prosper]!" (Agreed upon).
"This world is all temporary conveniences, and the
greatest joy in this life is a righteous wife." (Reported
by Muslim, 1468).
"Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering
tongue [remembering Allah] and a believing wife who will help
him with regard to the Hereafter." (Reported by Ahmad,
5/282, and al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah from Thawbaan. Saheeh al-Jaami',
According to another report: "A righteous wife to
help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the best
treasure anyone could have." (Reported by al-Bayhaqi.
Saheeh al-Jaami', 4285).
"Marry one who is loving and fertile, for I will be
proud before the other Prophets of your great numbers on the
Day of Resurrection." (Reported by Ahmad. Saheeh al-Irwa',
"I advise you to marry virgins, for their wombs are
more fresh, their mouths are more sweet and they are more content
with little." According to another report: "and
they are less likely to deceive." (Reported by Ibn Maajah.
Al-Silsilah al-Saheeh, 623).
Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness,
so a bad wife is one of the four elements of misery, as it says
in the saheeh hadith: "One of (the elements of) happiness
is a righteous wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and
when you are away, you feel that you can trust her with regard
to herself and your property. And one of (the elements of) misery
is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset, she keeps
attacking you verbally, and when you are away, you do not feel
that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property."
On the other hand, it is also essential to look at the situation
of the prospective husband who is proposing marriage to the Muslim
woman, and to agree to his proposal in accordance with the following
conditions: The Prophet (saws) said: "If there comes
to you one with whose religion and character you are pleased,
then marry your daughter [or sister, etc.] to him, otherwise
there will be fitnah and great corruption in the land."
All of the above must be achieved through asking the right
questions, verifying facts, gathering information and checking
sources, so that the home will not be corrupted or destroyed.
The righteous man and righteous woman together will build
a righteous home, because "the vegetation
of a good land comes forth (easily) by the Permission of its
Lord, and that which is bad, brings forth nothing but a little
with difficulty" [al-A'raaf, 7:58].
Striving to Guide One's Wife
If one's wife is righteous, this is a blessing indeed, and
this is from the Bounty of Allah. If she is not that righteous,
then it is the duty of the head of the household to strive to
guide her. Any of the following scenarios may apply:
A man may marry a woman who is not religious in the first
place, because he himself is not religious at first, or he may
have married her in the hope of guiding her, or under pressure
from his relatives, for example. In these cases he must strive
hard to guide her. A man must also realize from the outset that
guidance comes from Allah, and that Allah is the One Who reforms
people. One of His blessings to his slave Zakariya was, as He
said: "and [We] cured his wife for
him" [al-Anbiya', 21:90].
This curing or reforming may have been physical or religious.
Ibn 'Abbas said: "She was barren and could not have children,
then she had a child."
'Ataa' said: "She was harsh of tongue, and Allah reformed
There are various means of guiding or reforming one's wife,
- Paying attention to correcting her worship of Allah in all
its aspects, as will be discussed in detail below.
- Striving to strengthen her imaan, such as: encouraging
her to pray at night (qiyaam al-layl).
- Encouraging her to read Qur'an
- Encouraging her to memorize Dhikr and remember the appropriate
times and occasions for saying them.
- Encouraging her to give charity.
- Encouraging her to read useful Islamic books.
- Encouraging her to listen to useful Islamic cassettes that
can increase knowledge and strengthen iman - and continuing to
supply her with them.
- Choosing good, religious friends for her, with whom she can
form ties of sisterhood and have good conversations and purposeful
- Protecting her from evil and blocking off all avenues for
it to reach her, by keeping her away from bad companions and
3. Creating an Atmosphere of Faith in
Making the home a place for the remembrance of Allah - The
Prophet (saws) said: "The likeness of a house in which
Allah is remembered and the house in which Allah is not remembered
is that of the living and the dead, respectively."
We must make our homes places where Allah is remembered in
all kinds of ways, whether in our hearts, verbally, during prayer,
by reading Qur'an, by discussing Islamic issues, or by reading
different kinds of Islamic books.
How many Muslim homes nowadays are dead because there is no
remembrance of Allah, as mentioned in the hadeeth. What must
they be like when all that is heard therein is the music of Shaytaan
with instruments and singing, backbiting, slander, and gossip?
What must they be like when they are filled with evil and
sin, such as the haraam mixing of the sexes and wanton display
between relatives who are not mahram or with neighbours who enter
the home? How can the angels enter a home like this? Revive your
homes with all kinds of dhikr, may Allah have mercy on you!
Make your homes a Qiblah
What is meant is taking the home as a place of worship?
Allah says: "And We inspired Moosa
and his brother (saying): 'Take dwellings for your people in
Egypt, and make your dwellings as places for your worship, and
perform al-salaah, and give glad tidings to the believers'"
Ibn 'Abbaas said: "They were commanded to take their
dwellings as places of prayer [lit. mosques]."
Ibn Katheer said: "This - and Allah knows best - was
because of the intensity of the tribulation that they were facing
from Pharaoh and his people. They were commanded to pray much,
as Allah says: 'O you who believe! Seek
help with patience and prayer.' [al-Baqarah 2:153], and
as it was reported in the hadith that the Messenger of Allah
(saws), when he was distressed by something, would pray."
This explains the importance of worshipping at home, especially
at times when the Muslims are in a position of weakness, as happens
in some places where the Muslims cannot pray openly in front
of the non-believers. In this context we may think of the mihraab
of Maryam, which was her place of worship, as Allah says: "Every time Zakariya entered the mihraab
to visit her, he found her supplied with sustenance"
The Sahaabah (ra) used to be keen to pray at home - apart
from the fard or obligatory prayers (which they prayed in congregation
in the mosque) - and there is a moving story concerning this.
Mahmood ibn al-Rabee' al-Ansaari reported that 'Utbaan ibn
Malik - who was one of the Companions of the Messenger (saws)
and was one of the Ansaar who had been present at Badr - came
to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said: "I am losing
my sight, and I lead my people in prayer. When it rains, the
valley between me and them gets flooded and I cannot get to their
mosque to lead them in prayer. O Messenger of Allah, I would
like you to come to come and pray in my house so that I can take
it as a place for prayer." The Messenger of Allah (saws)
said, "I will do that, insha'Allah." 'Utbaan
said: "The next day the Messenger of Allah (saws) and Abu
Bakr came in the morning. The Messenger of Allah (saws) asked
for permission to enter, and I gave him permission. He did not
sit down until he entered the house, then he said, 'Where
would you like me to pray in your house?' I showed him a
corner of the house, then the Messenger of Allah (saws) stood
up, said Takbeer, and we stood in a row behind him, and he prayed
two rak'ahs and gave the salaam at the end of the prayer"
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/519).
Spiritual training for the members of the household
'A'isha (ra) said: "The Messenger of Allah (saws) used
to pray qiyaam at night, and when he prayed witr he would say,
'Get up and pray witr, O 'A'isha.'" (Reported by
Muslim, Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 6/23).
The Prophet (saws) said: "May Allah have mercy on
a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife
to pray, and if she refuses he splashes water in her face."
(Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawood. Saheeh al-Jaami', 3488).
Encouraging the women of one's household to give charity is
another means of increasing faith. This is something very important
which the Prophet (saws) encouraged, when he said, "O
women! Give in charity, for I have seen that you form the majority
of the inhabitants of Hell." (Reported by al-Bukhari,
One of the new ideas is to have a box at home for donations
to the poor and needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to
them, because it is their vessel in the Muslim home.
If the family members see an example among them fasting on
al-Ayyaam al-Beed (the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri month),
Mondays and Thursdays, Taasoo'aa' and 'Aashooraa' (the 9th and
10th of Muharram), 'Arafaah, and frequently in Muharram and Sha'baan,
this will be a motive for them to do likewise.
Paying attention to dhikr and Sunnah du'a's
Muslim reported in his Saheeh that the Messenger of Allah
(saws) said: "When any one of you enters his home and
mentions the Name of Allah when he enters and when he eats, the
Shaytan says (to himself): 'You have no place to stay and nothing
to eat here.' If he enters and does not mention the name of Allah
when he enters, [the Shaytan] says, 'You have a place to stay.'
If he does not mention the name of Allah when he eats, [the Shaytan
says], 'You have a place to stay and something to eat'"
(Reported by Imam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 3/346; Muslim, 3/1599).
Abu Dawood reported in his Sunan that the Messenger of Allah
(saws) said: "If a man goes out of his house and says,
'Bismillah, tawakkaltu 'ala Allah, laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa
Billaah (In the name of Allah, I put my trust in Allah, there
is no help and no strength except in Allah),' it will be said
to him, 'This will take care of you, you are guided, you have
what you need and you are protected.' The Shaytan will stay away
from him, and another shaytan will say to him, 'What can you
do with a man who is guided, provided for, and protected?'"
(Reported by Abu Dawood and al-Tirmidhi. Saheeh al-Jaami', no.
Imam Muslim reported in his Saheeh that 'A'isha (ra) said:
"When the Messenger of Allah (saws) entered his house, the
first thing he would do was use Siwaak." (Reported by Muslim,
Kitaab al-Tahaarah, chapter 15, no. 44).
Continuously reciting Surat al-Baqarah in the house to ward
off the Shaytan: There are a number of ahadith concerning this,
such as: The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: "Do not
make your houses into graves. The Shaytan flees from a house
in which Surat al-Baqarah is recited." (Reported by
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: "Recite Surat
al-Baqarah in your houses, for the Shaytan does not enter a house
in which Surat al-Baqarah is recited." (Reported by
al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak. 1/561; Saheeh al-Jaami', 1170).
Concerning the virtues of the last two Ayat of this Surat,
and the effect of reciting them in one's house, he (saws) said:
"Allah wrote a document two thousand years before He
created the heavens and the earth, which is kept near the Throne,
and He revealed two Ayat of it with which He concluded Surat
al-Baqarah. If they are recited in a house for three consecutive
nights, the Shaytan will not approach it." (Reported
by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 4/274, and others. Saheeh al-Jaami',
4. Islamic Knowledge in the Home
Teaching the Family
This is an obligation which the head of the household must
undertake, in obedience to the command of Allah: "O
you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a
Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones." [al-Tahreem
66:6]. This ayah is the basic principle regarding the teaching
and upbringing of one's family, and enjoining them to do what
is good and forbidding them to do what is evil. There follow
some of the comments of the mufassireen on this ayah, in so far
as it pertains to the duties of the head of the household.
Qutaadah said: "He should command them to obey Allah,
and forbid them to disobey Him, and direct them in accordance
with the commands of Allah, and help them to do that."
Dahhaak and Muqaatil said: "It is the Muslim's duty to
teach his family, including relatives and female slaves, what
Allah has enjoined upon them and what He has forbidden."
'Ali (ra) said: "Teach them and discipline them."
Al-Tabari (ra) said: "We must teach our children and
wives the religion and goodness, and whatever they need of good
manners. If the Messenger of Allah (saws) used to urge the teaching
of female servants, who were slaves, what do you think about
your children and wives, who are free?"
Al-Bukhari (ra) said in his Saheeh: "Chapter: a man's
teaching his female slaves and wife." Then he quoted the
hadith of the Prophet (saws): "There are three who will
have two rewards: a man who has a female servant whom he teaches
good manners and teaches her well, and teaches her knowledge,
and teaches her well, then he frees her and marries her: he will
have two rewards."
Ibn Hajar (ra) said, commenting on this hadith: "The
chapter heading refers specifically to female slaves, and to
wives by analogy, i.e., teaching one's free wife about her duties
towards Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger is more clearly
essential than teaching one's female slaves."
In the midst of all a man's activities, work and other commitments,
he may forget to allow himself time for teaching his wife. One
solution to this is to allocate some time for the family, and
even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at
home. He can let everyone know the time and encourage them to
come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment for
him and for them. Something similar happened at the time of the
Al-Bukhari (ra) said: "Chapter: can the women be given
a day exclusively for them to seek knowledge?" and quoted
the hadith of Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri (ra): "The women said
to the Prophet (saws): 'The men always crowd us out and we cannot
reach you, so set aside a day for us when we can come to you.'
So he set aside a day when he would meet them and teach them."
Ibn Hajar said: "A similar report was narrated by Sahl
ibn Abi Salih from Abu Hurayrah, according to which [the Prophet
(saws)] said: 'Your appointment is in the house of so and
so,' and he came to them and spoke to them.'" What we
learn from this is that women should be taught in their houses,
and we see how keen the women of the Sahaabah were to learn.
Directing teaching efforts to men alone, and not to women,
is a serious shortcoming on the part of dai'yahs and heads of
households. Some readers may ask, suppose we set aside a day,
and tell our families about it - what should we study in these
gatherings? Where do we begin? I suggest that you begin with
a simple program to teach your family in general, and the women
It is also important to teach women some of the ahkaam of
fiqh, such as the rulings on tahaarah (purity) and menstrual
and post-partum bleeding, Salat, Zakat, Siyam (fasting) and hajj,
if she is able to go; some of the rulings on food and drink,
clothing and adornment, the Sunan al-fitnah, rulings on maharam
(who is a Mahram relative and who is not), rulings on singing
and photography, and so on. Among the important sources of such
information are the Fatawas (rulings or edicts) of the scholars,
such as the collections of Fatawas by Shaykh 'Abi al-'Azeez ibn
Baaz and Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-'Uthaymeen, and other scholars,
whether they are written Fatawas or Fatawas recorded on tapes.
Another matter that may be included in a syllabus for teaching
women and family members is reminding them of lessons or public
lectures given by trustworthy scholars and seekers of knowledge
which they can attend, so they can have a variety of excellent
sources for learning. We should not forget either the radio programs
of Idhaa'at al-Qur'an al-Kareem; another means of teaching is
reminding family members of the particular days when women can
attend Islamic bookstores, and taking them there, within the
guidelines of Shari'ah [i.e., proper hijab, etc.]
Start building an Islamic Library in your Home
(For al-Jumuah's list
of Islamic books that make up a good library, click here.)
Another thing that will help in teaching your family and letting
them develop a understanding of their religion and help them
adhere to its rules, is having one's own Islamic library at home.
It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing good
books, putting them in a place where they are readily accessible,
and encouraging family members to read them.
You could put books in a clean and tidy corner of the living
room, and in a suitable place in a bedroom or guest room; this
will make it easy for any member of the family to read constantly.
In order to build a library properly - and Allah loves things
to be done properly - you should include references so that family
members can research various matters and children can use them
for their studies. You should also include books of varying levels,
so that old and young, men and women can all use them. You should
also have books for giving to guests, children's friends, and
family visitors, but try to get books that are attractively presented,
edited properly and with the sources and classification of the
ahadith properly given. You can make the most of Islamic bookstores
and exhibitions to build a home library, after consulting and
seeking advice from those who have experience in the field of
books. One way in which you can help family members to find a
book when they want it is to organize the books according to
subject, with books of Tafseer on one shelf, books of hadith
on another, fiqh on a third, and so on. One of the family members
could also compile alphabetical or subject indexes of th e library,
to make it easier to look for books.
Home Audio Library
Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good
or for evil. How can we use it in a manner that is pleasing to
One of the ways in which we can achieve this is to have a
home audio library containing good Islamic tapes by scholars,
fuqaha, lecturers, khateebs, and preachers.
Listening to tapes of Quran recitation by some Imams,
for example those recorded during Taraaweeh prayers, will have
a great impact on family members, whether by impressing upon
them the meanings of the Revelation, or by helping them to memorize
Quran because of repeated listening. It will also protect
them by letting them hear Quranic recitation rather than
the music and singing of the Shaytan, because it is not right
for the words of al-Rahman (Allah) to be mixed with the music
of the Shaytan in the heart of the believer.
Tapes of Fatwahs may have a great effect on family members
and help them to understand various rulings, which will have
an impact on their daily lives.
Muslims must also pay attention to the sources from which
they take Fatwahs because this is the matter of religion, so
look to where you take your religion from. You should take it
from someone who is known to be righteous and pious, who bases
his Fatwahs on Quran and Sunnah. Ask an expert. .
. . Allah, Most Gracious: ask, then about Him of any acquainted
(with such things) [al-Furqaan 25:59].
Listening to lectures by those who are striving to raise the
awareness of the Ummah, establish proof and denounce evil, is
very important for establishing individual personalities in the
There are many tapes and lectures, and the Muslim needs to
know the features of the sound methodology so as to distinguish
sound lecturers from others and look for their tapes, which they
can listen to with confidence. Among these features are:
- The lecturer should be a believer in the Aqeedah of
the Saved Group, Ahl al-Sunnah wal-Jamaaah, adhering
to the Sunnah and firmly rejecting bidah.
- The speaker should be moderate, neither extremist nor lenient.
- He should base his talks on sound ahadeeth.
- He should have insight into peoples situations and
the realities of the Ummah, and should offer the appropriate
remedy for any problem, giving the people what they need.
- He should speak the truth as much as he can, and not utter
falsehood or please the people by angering Allah.
- We often find that tapes for children have a great influence
on them, whether by helping them to memorize Quran by listening
to a young reader or duas to be recited at various
times of day and night or Islamic manners or nasheeds (religious
songs with no instrumental accompaniment) with a
useful message and so on.
Putting tapes in drawers in an organized fashion will make
it easier to find them and will also protect them from getting
damaged or from being played with by young children. We should
distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others after
listening to them. Having a recorder in the kitchen will be very
useful for the lady of the house, and having a recorder in the
bedroom will help a person make good use of time until the last
moments of the day.
Inviting good and righteous people and seekers of knowledge
to visit the home
My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents,
and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing
men and women. . . [al-Nooh 71:28].
If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light
(noor), and will bring many benefits because of your conversations
and discussion with them. The bearer of musk will either give
you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he
has a pleasant scent. When children, brothers, and parents sit
with such visitors, and women listen from behind a curtain or
screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience
to all. If you bring good people into your home, by doing so
you keep bad people from coming in a wreaking havoc.
Learning the Islamic rulings with regard to houses
Praying in the House
With regard to men, the Prophet (saws) said: The
best of prayer is a mans prayer in his house apart
from the prescribed prayers. (Reported by al-Bukhaari,
al-Fath, no. 731).
It is obligatory to pray (the five daily prayers) in the mosque,
except if there is a valid excuse. The Messenger of Allah (saws)
also said: A mans voluntary prayers in his house
will bring more reward than his voluntary prayers at other peoples
places, just as his obligatory prayers with the people are better
than his obligatory prayers alone. (Reported by Ibn
Abi Shaybah. Saheeh al-Jaami, 2953).
With regard to women, the deeper inside her home her place
of prayer is, the better because the Prophet (saws) said: The
best prayer for women is [that offered] in the furthest part
of their houses. (Reported by al-Tabaraani. Saheeh
A man should not be led in prayer in his own home, and no
one should sit in the place where the master of the house usually
sits, except with his permission. The Messenger of Allah (saws)
said: A man should not be led in prayer in his place
of authority, and no one should sit in his place in his house,
except with his permission. (Reported by al-Tirmidhi,
no. 2772). (I.E. no one should go forward to lead him in prayer,
even if they recite Quran better than he does, in a place
that he owns or where he has authority, such as a householder
in his home, or an imam in a mosque. Similarly, it is not permitted
to sit in the private spot of the head of the master of the house,
such as a bed or mattress, etc, except with his permission.)
Seeking permission to enter.
O you who believe! Enter not houses
other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted
those in them, that is better for you, in order that you may
remember. And if you find no one therein, still, enter not until
permission has been given. And if you are asked to go back, go
back, for it is purer for you. And Allah is All-Knower of what
you do [al-Noor 24:27-28].
. . . so enter houses through
their proper doors. . . [al-Baqarah 2:189].
It is permissible to enter houses that are empty if one has
some legitimate business there, such as a house prepared for
guests. There is no sin on you that
you enter (without taking permission) houses uninhabited (i.e,
not possessed by anybody), (when) you have any interest in them.
And Allah has knowledge of what you reveal and what you conceal.
Not feeling too shy to eat in the houses of friends and relatives,
and in houses of friends and relatives and others to which one
has the keys, if they have no objection to that. There
is no restriction on the blind, nor any restriction on the lame,
nor any restriction on the sick, nor on yourselves, if you eat
from your houses, or the houses of your fathers, or the houses
of your mothers, or the houses of your brothers, or the houses
of your sisters, or the houses of your fathers brothers,
or the houses of your fathers sisters, or the houses of
your mothers brothers, or the houses of your mothers
sisters, or (from that) whereof you hold keys, or (from the house)
of a friend. No sin on you whether you eat together or apart
. . . [al-Noor 24:61].
Telling children and servants not to barge in to the parents
bedroom without permission at the times when people usually sleep,
(before Fajr, at siesta time, and after Isha) lest they
see something inappropriate. If they see something accidentally
at other times, this is forgivable, because they are tawwaafeen
(those who go about in the house), and it is difficult to stop
them. Allah says, O, you who believe!
Let your legal slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who
have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before
they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr prayer,
and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and
after the Isha prayer. (These) three times are of privacy
for you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on
them to move about, - attending (helping) you each other. Thus
Allah makes clear the ayat (verses of this Quran, showing
proofs for the legal aspects of permission for visits, etc.)
to you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. [al-Noor
It is forbidden to look into the houses of other people without
their permission. The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: Whoever
looks into someones house without their permission, put
his eyes out, and there is no diyah or qisaas [blood money or
retaliation] in this case. (Reported by Ahmad, al-Musnad,
2/385; Saheeh al-Jaami, 6046).
A woman who has been divorced by talaaq for a first or second
time [and could still go back to her husband] should not leave
or be made to leave her home during the iddah, and she
should still be supported financially. Allah says,
O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them at their
iddah (prescribed periods), and count (accurately) their
iddah (periods). And fear Allah your Lord (O Muslims),
and turn them not out of their (husbands) homes, nor shall
they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some
open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits
of Allah. And whoever transgresses the set limits of Allah, then
indeed he has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his
wife) know not, it may be that Allah will afterward bring some
new thing to pass (i.e, to return her back to you, if this as
the first or second divorce). [al-Talaaq 65:1].
It is permissible for a man to forsake his rebellious wife
inside or outside the home, according to the interests prescribed
by shariah in any given case. The evidence for forsaking
her inside the home is the ayah: .
. . refuse to share their beds . . . [al-Nisa
4:34]. With regard to forsaking women outside the home, this
is what happened when the Messenger of Allah (saws) forsook his
wives, leaving them in their apartments and staying in a room
outside the houses of his wives. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab
al-Talaaq, Baab fil-Eelaa).
One should not stay alone overnight in the house. Ibn Umar
(ra) reported that the Prophet (saws) forbade being alone and
said that a man should not stay overnight alone or travel alone
(Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/91). This is because of the
feelings of loneliness etc. that come from being alone, and also
because of the possibility of attacks by enemies or robbers,
or the possibility of sickness. If one has a companion, he can
help fight off attacks and can help if one gets sick. (See al-Fath
Not sleeping on the roof of a house that has no protecting
wall, lest one fall. The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: Whoever
sleeps on the roof of a house that has no protecting wall, nobody
is responsible for what happens to him. (Reported by
Abu Dawood, al-Sunan, no. 5041; Saheeh al-Jaami, 6113; its commentary
is in Awn al-Mabood, 13/384). This is because one
who is asleep may roll over in his sleep, and if there is no
wall he may fall off the roof and be killed. In such a case,
nobody would be to blame for his death; or his negligence would
cause Allah to lift His protection from him because he did not
take the necessary precautions. The hadeeth may mean either.
Pet cats do not make vessels naajis (impure) if they drink
from them, or make food naajis if they eat from it. Abd-Allah
ibn Abi Qutaadah reported from his father that water was put
out for him to make wudoo, and a cat came and lapped at
the water. He took the water and did wudoo with it, and
they said, O Abu Qutaadah! The cat drank from it.
He said, I heard the Messenger of Allah (saws) say: Cats
are part of the household, and they are among those who go around
in your houses. (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad,
5/309; Saheeh al-Jaami, 3694). According to another report
he said: They [cats] are not naajis; they are among
those who go around [al-tawwaafeen wal-tawwaafaat
refers to children, servants, etc.] in your houses. (Reported
by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Saheeh al-Jaami, 2437).
Removing Anything that May Distract the Worshipper
Anas (ra) said: Aisha had a decorated,
colorful curtain which she used to cover the side of her house.
The Prophet (saws) said to her, take it away from me
because its decorations keep distracting me when I pray
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/391).
Al-Qaasim reported that Aisha (ra) had a cloth
with decorations on it, which she used to cover a small sunken
alcove (used for sleeping or storage). The Prophet (saws) used
to pray facing it, and he said, Take it away from me,
because its decorations keep distracting me when I pray.
So she took it away and made pillows out of it (Reported
by Muslim in his Saheeh, 3/1668).
Another indication of this is the fact that when the Prophet
(saws) entered the Kabah to pray in it, he saw two rams
horns. When he had prayed, he told Uthmaan al-Hajabi, I
forgot to tell you to cover the horns because there should not
be anything in the House to distract the worshiper.
(Reported by Abu Dawood, 2030; Saheeh al-Jaami, 2504).
This also includes avoiding praying in places where people
pass through, or where there is a lot of noise and voices of
people talking, or where they are engaging in conversations,
arguments etc, or where there are visual distractions.
One should also avoid praying in places that are very hot
or very cold, if possible. The Prophet (saws) told us to delay
praying Dhuhr in summer until the hottest part of the day was
over. Ibn al-Qayyim (ra) said: Praying when it is intensely
hot prevents a person from having the proper khushoo and
presence of mind, and he does his worship reluctantly, so the
Prophet wisely told them to delay praying until the heat had
lessened somewhat, so that they could pray with presence of mind
and thus achieve the purpose of prayer, having khushoo
and turning to Allah. (Al-Waabil al-Sayib, Daar al-Bayaan
edn. , p. 22)
Not Praying in a Garment that has Decorations, Writing,
Bright Colors, or Pictures that will Distract the Worshiper
Aisha (ra) said: The Prophet (saws) stood
up to pray wearing a checkered shirt, and he looked at the patterns
in it. When he had finished his prayer, he said, Take
this shirt to Abu Jaham ibn Hudhayfah and bring me an anbajaani
(a garment with no decorations or checks), because it distracted
me when I was praying. According to another report:
These checks distracted me. According to another
report: He had a checkered shirt, which used to distract
him whilst he was praying (Reports in Saheeh Muslim, no.
556, part 3/391).
It is better not to pray in a garment that has pictures on
it, and we should be especially careful to avoid garments with
pictures of animate beings, like many garments that are widely
Not Praying When there is Food Prepared that One Wants
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: Do not pray when
there is food prepared. (Reported by Muslim, no. 560).
If food has been prepared and served, or if it is offered,
a person should eat first, because he will not be able to concentrate
properly and have khushoo if he leaves it and gets up to
pray when he is wanting to eat. He should not even hasten to
finish eating, because the Prophet (saws) said: If the
dinner is served and the time for prayer comes, eat dinner before
praying Salat al-Maghrib, and do not rush to finish your meal.
According to another report: If dinner has been put
out and the iqaamah has been given for prayer, eat dinner first
and do not rush to finish it. (Agreed upon. Al-Bukhaari,
Kitaab al-Adhan, Baab idhaa hadara al-taaamu wa uqeemat
al-salaah; Muslim, no. 557-559).
Not praying when one needs to answer the call of nature
No doubt one of the things that can prevent proper khushoo
is praying when one needs to go to the washroom. The Prophet
(saws) forbade praying when one is suppressing the urge to urinate
or defecate. (Reported by Ibn Maajah in his Sunan, no. 617; Saheeh
al-Jaami, no. 6832).
If anyone is in this position, he should first go to the bathroom
and answer the call of nature, even if he misses whatever he
misses of the congregational prayer, because the Prophet (saws)
said: If any one of you needs to go to the toilet, and
the prayer has begun, he should go to the toilet first.
(Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 88; Saheeh al-Jaami, no. 299).
If this happens to a person whilst he is praying, he should
stop praying, go and answer the call of nature, purify himself
then pray, because the Prophet (saws) said, There is
no prayer when there is food prepared or if one is suppressing
the urge to expel waste matter. (Saheeh Muslim, no.
560). Without a doubt, this trying to suppress the urge takes
away khushoo. This ruling also applies to suppressing the
urge to pass wind.
Not praying behind someone who is talking (or sleeping)
The Prophet (saws) forbade this; he said: Do not
pray behind one who is sleeping or one who is talking.
(Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 694; Saheeh al-Jaami, no.
375). He said, a hasan hadeeth, because one who is talking will
distract the worshiper with his talk, and one who is sleeping
may expose something that will distract the worshiper.
Al-Khattaabi (ra) said: As for praying behind people
who are talking, al-Shaafai and Ahmad ibn Hanbal considered
this to be makrooh because their talk distracts the worshiper
from his prayer. (Awn al-Mabood, 2/388).
As regards not praying behind someone who is sleeping, a number
of scholars thought that the evidence for this was weak (including
Abu Dawood in his Sunan, Kitaab al-Salaah, Tafree Abwaab
al-Witr, Baab al-Dua, and Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari,
Sharh Baab al-Salaah khalf al-Naaim, Kitaab al-Salaah).
Al-Bukhaari, may Allah have mercy on him, quoted the hadeeth
of Aisha in his Saheeh, Baab al-Salaah khalf al-Naaim:
The Prophet (saws) used to pray whilst I was lying across
from him on his bed . . . (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Salaah).
Mujaahid, Taawoos and Maalik thought it makrooh to pray facing
someone who was sleeping, lest he expose something that would
distract the worshiper from his prayer (Fath al-Baari, ibid.).
If there is no risk of that happening, then it is not makrooh
to pray behind someone who is sleeping. And Allah knows best.
Not occupying oneself with smoothing the ground in front
Al-Bukhaari (ra) reported from Muayqeeb (ra) that the
Prophet (saws) said concerning a mans smoothing the ground
when he prostrates, if you have to do that, then do
it only once. (Fath al-Baari, 3/79).
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: Do not wipe (the
ground) when you are praying, but if you have to, then do it
only once. (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 946; Saheeh
al-Jaami, no. 7452).
The reason for this prohibition is so as to maintain khushoo,
and so that a person will not make too many extra movements in
prayer. If the place where one is going to prostrate needs to
be smoothed, it is better to do this before starting to pray.
This also applies to wiping the forehead or nose when praying.
The Prophet (saws) used to prostrate in water and mud, which
would leave traces on his forehead, but he did not bother to
wipe it off every time he raised his head from sujood. It remained
there because he was so deeply absorbed in his prayer and his
khushoo was so strong that he took not notice of it. The
Prophet (saws) said: Prayer is an occupation in itself.
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 3/72). Ibn Abi Shaybah
reported that Abul-Darda said: Even if I were
to get red camels, I would not like to wipe the gravel from my
forehead. Ayaad said: The salaf did not like
to wipe their foreheads before they finished praying (al-Fath,
Just as a worshiper should avoid anything that will distract
him from his prayer, by the same token he should avoid disturbing
others. This includes:
Not disturbing others with ones recitation
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: All of you are
speaking to your Lord, so do not disturb one another, and do
not raise your voices above one another when reciting.
or he said, in prayer. (Reported by Abu Dawood,
2/83; Saheeh al-Jaami, no. 752).
According to another report, he said, do not compete
with one another in raising your voices when reciting Quran
(Reported by Imam Ahmad, 2/36; Saheeh al-Jaami, 1951).
Not turning around during prayer
Abu Dharr (ra) said: The Messenger of Allah (saws)
said: Allah continues to turn towards His slave whilst
he is praying, so long as he does not turn away, but if he turns
away, [Allah] turns away from him. (Reported by Abu
Dawood, no. 909; Saheeh Abi Dawood).
Turning away during prayer is of two types:
- The turning away of the heart to something other than Allah.
- The turning away of the eyes.
Both of them are not allowed, and are detrimental to the reward
for the prayer. The Messenger of Allah (saws) was asked about
turning away during prayer, and he said: It is something
that Shaytan steals from a persons prayer. (Reported
by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Adhaan, Baab al-Iltifaat fil-Salaah).
The one who turns away with his heart or his eyes during prayer
is like a man who is called by the ruler and made to stand before
him, and when the ruler starts to address him, he turns away,
looking to the right and the left, not listening to what the
ruler is saying and not understanding a word of it because his
heart and mind are elsewhere. What does this man think the ruler
will do to him?
The least that he deserves is that when he leaves the ruler,
he is hated and no longer valued. One who prays like this is
not equal to one who prays with the proper presence of mind,
turning to Allah in his prayer in such a way that he feels the
greatness of the One before Whom he is standing, and he is filled
with fear and submission; he feels too shy before his Lord to
turn to anyone else or to turn away. The difference between their
prayers is as Hassaan ibn Atiyah said: The two men
may be in one congregation, but the difference in virtue between
them is as great as the distance between heaven and earth. One
of them is turning with all his heart towards Allah, whilst the
other is negligent and forgetful (Al-Waabil al-Sayib by
Ibn al-Qayyim, Daar al-Bayaan, p. 36).
As for turning away for a genuine reason, this is OK. Abu
Dawood reported that Sahl ibn al-Hanzaliyyah said: We started
praying Salat al-Subh (Fajr) and the Messenger
of Allah (saws) was looking at the ravine. Abu Dawood said:
He had sent a horseman at night to guard the ravine.
This is like when he carried Umaamah bint Abil-Aas,
and when he opened the door for Aisha, and when he
came down from the minbar whilst praying in order to teach them,
and when he stepped back during Salat al-Kusoof (prayer at the
time of an eclipse), and when he grabbed and strangled the Shaytan
when he wanted to interrupt his prayer. He also ordered that
snakes and scorpions should be killed even during prayer, and
a person who is praying should stop and even fight one who wants
to pass in front of him whilst he is praying. He told women to
clap during prayer [if they spot a mistake on the part of the
imam], and he used to wave or gesture to people who greeted him
whilst he was praying. These and other actions may be done in
cases of necessity, but if there is no necessity, then they are
just idle gestures that cancel out khushoo and are therefore
not allowed during prayer. (Majmoo al-Fataawa, 22/559).
Not raising ones gaze to the heavens
The Prophet (saws) forbade us to do this and issued a warning
against it. He said: When any one of you is praying,
he should not lift his gaze to the heavens, lest he lose his
sight. (Reported by Ahmad, 5/294; Saheeh al-Jaami,
According to another report, he said: What is wrong
with people who lift their gaze to the heavens whilst they are
praying? According to another report, he said: that
they raise their gaze when they make dua during salat?
(Reported by Muslim, no. 429).
He spoke out strongly against it, to the extent that he said,
Let them stop it, or their eyesight will be taken away.
(Reported by Imam Ahmad, 5/258; Saheeh al-Jaami, 5574).
Not spitting in front of one when praying
This is incompatible with khushoo and good manners before
Allah. The Prophet (saws) said: When any one of you
is praying, let him not spit in front of himself, for Allah is
before him when he prays. (Reported by al-Bukhaari
in his Saheeh, no. 397).
He also said: When any one of you stands up to pray,
he should not spit in front of himself, because he is talking
to Allah may He be blessed and exalted as long
as he is in his prayer place; and he should not [spit] to his
right because there is an angel on his right. He should spit
to his left, or beneath his feet, and bury it. (Reported
by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 416, 1/512).
He said: When one of you stands to pray, he is talking
to his Lord, and his Lord is between him and the Qiblah, so none
of you should spit in the direction of his Qiblah, but to his
left or under his feet. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath
al-Baari, no. 417, 1/513).
If the mosque is furnished with carpets and so on, as is the
norm nowadays and a person needs to spit, he can take out a handkerchief
or whatever, spit into it, and put it away again.
Trying not to yawn when praying
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: If any one of
you feels the urge to yawn during prayer, let him suppress it
as much as he can, lest the Shaytan enter . . . (Reported
by Muslim, 4/2293). If the Shaytan enters, he will be more able
to disturb the worshipers khushoo in addition to
laughing at him when he yawns.
Not putting ones hands on ones hips when praying
Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (saws) forbade
putting the hands on the hips during prayer. (Reported
by Abu Dawood, no. 947; Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Aml
fil-Salaah, Baab al-Hadhr fil-Salaah).
Ziyaad ibn Subayh al-Hanafi said: I prayed beside Ibn
Umar and I put my hand on my hip, but he struck my hand.
When he had finished praying, he said, This is crossing
in prayer. The Messenger of Allah (saws) used to forbid this
(Reported by Imam Ahmad, 2/106 and others. Classed as Saheeh
by al-Haafiz al-Iraaqi in Takhreej al-Ihyaa. See
It was reported that the Prophet (saws) said that this posture
is how the people of Hell rest; we seek refuge with Allah from
that (Reported by al-Bayhaqi from Abu Hurayrah. Al-Iraaqi
said, its isnaad appears to be Saheeh).
Not letting ones clothes hang down (sadl)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allah (saws) forbade
letting ones clothes hang down during prayer or for a man
to cover his mouth (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 643; Saheeh al-Jaami,
no. 6883. He said, this is a hasan hadeeth).
In Awn al-Mabood (2/347) al-Khattaabi said: Al-sadl:
letting ones clothes hang down all the way to the ground.
It was reported in Marqaat al-Mafaateeh (2/236): Al-sadl
is completely forbidden because it has to do with showing off,
and in prayer it is even worse. The author of al-Nihaayah
said: It means wrapping oneself up in ones garment,
leaving ones hands inside and bowing and prostrating in
it. It was said that the Jews used to do this. It was also
said that al-sadl meant putting the garment over ones head
or shoulders, and letting its edges come down in front and over
ones upper arms, so that a person will be preoccupied in
taking care of it, which reduces khushoo, unlike garments
that are tied up properly or buttoned, which do not dist ract
the worshiper or affect his khushoo. These kinds of clothes
are still to be found nowadays in some parts of Africa and elsewhere,
and in the way some Arabian cloaks are worn, which distract the
worshiper and keep him busy adjusting them, retying them if they
become loose and so on. This should be avoided.
The reason why it is forbidden to cover ones mouth was
explained by the scholars as being because that prevents a person
from reciting Quran and doing sujood properly. (Marqaat
Not resembling animals
Allah has honored the son of Adam and created him in the best
way, so it is shameful for the son of Adam to resemble or imitate
animals. We have been forbidden to resemble or imitate a number
of postures or movements of animals when we pray because that
is contrary to khushoo or because it is ugly and does not
befit the worshiper who is praying. For example, it was reported
that the Messenger of Allah (saws) forbade three things in prayer:
pecking like a crow, spreading ones forearms like a carnivore,
or always praying in the same place like a camel keeping to its
own territory. (Reported by Ahmad, 3/428).
It was said that when a man always prays in the same place
in the mosque, making it his own, it is like a camel keeping
to its own territory. (Al-Fath al-Rabaani, 4/91).
According to another report: He forbade me to peck like
a cockerel, to sit like a dog or to turn like a fox. (Reported
by Imam Ahmad, 2/311; Saheeh al-Targheeb, no. 556).
This is what we were able to mention about the means of attaining
khushoo, so that we may strive for them, and about the
things that detract from khushoo, so that we can avoid
5. Meetings at Home (This Part is Missing)
6. Good manners at home
Spreading kindness in the home
Aisha (ra) said: The Messenger of Allah
(saws) said: When Allah may He be glorified
wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces
kindness among them. (Reported by Imam Ahmad
in al-Musnad, 6/71; Saheeh al-Jaami, 303).
According to another report: When Allah loves the
people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.
(Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others; Saheeh al-Jaami,
no. 1704). In other words, they start to be kind to one another.
This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home,
for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with
the children, and brings results that cannot be achieved through
harshness, as the Prophet (saws) said: Allah loves kindness
and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness
or for anything else. (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Birr
wal-Sillah wal-Aadaab, no. 2592).
Helping ones wife with the housework
Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of
them think that it will undermine their status and position if
they help their wives with this work.
The Messenger of Allah (saws), however, used to sew
his own clothes, mend his own shoes, and do whatever other work
men do in their homes (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad,
6/121; Saheeh al-Jaami, 4927).
This was said by his wife Aisha (ra), when she
was asked about what the Messenger of Allah (saws) used to do
in his house; her response described what she herself had seen.
According to another report, she said: He was like any
other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe,
and serve himself. (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad,
6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671).
She (ra) was also asked about what the Messenger of Allah
(saws) used to do in his house, and she said, He used to
serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would
go out to pray. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 2/162).
If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three
- We would be following the example of the Prophet (saws)
- We would be helping our wives
- We would feel more humble, not arrogant.
Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the
pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they
do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food.
Let these ahadeeth be a reminder and a lesson.
Being affectionate towards and joking with the members
of the family.
Showing affection towards ones wife and children is
one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness
and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allah (saws)
advised Jaabir to marry a virgin, saying, Why did you
not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could
play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make
you laugh? (The hadeeth is reported in a number of
places in the Saheehayn, such as al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 9/121).
The Prophet (saws) also said: Everything in which Allahs
name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things:
a man playing with his wife
(Reported by al-Nisaai
in Ushrat al-Nisa, p. 87; also in Saheeh al-Jaami).
The Prophet (saws) used to treat his wife Aisha affectionately
when doing ghusl with her, as she (ra) said: The Messenger
of Allah and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel, and
he would pretend to take all the water so that I would say, Leave
some for me, leave some for me, and both of
them were in a state of janaabah (impurity). (Muslim bi Sharh
The ways in which the Prophet (saws) showed affection towards
young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used
to show his affection towards Hasan and Husayn, as mentioned
above. This is probably one of the reason why the children used
to rejoice when he came back from traveling; they would rush
to welcome him, as reported in the Saheeh hadeeth: Whenever
he came back from a journey, the children of his household would
be taken out to meet him. He (saws) used to hug them close
to him, as Abd-Allah ibn Jafar said: Whenever the
Prophet (saws) came back from a journey, we would be taken out
to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He carried
one of us in front of him, and another on his back, until we
entered Medina (Saheeh Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the commentary
in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 8/56).
Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where
there are no truthful jokes [i.e, jokes that do not involve lying],
no affection, and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing his children
goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following
hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah (ra) who said: The Messenger
of Allah (saws) kissed al-Hasan ibn Ali, and al-Aqra
ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra said:
I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of
them. The Messenger of Allah (saws) looked at him and
said: The one who does not show mercy will not be shown
7. Evils in the Home (This Part is Missing)
8. The home inside and out
Choosing a good location and design of home
No doubt the true Muslim pays attention to the choice and
design of a home in ways that others do not.
With regard to location, for example:
The home should be close to a mosque. This has obvious advantages:
the call to prayer will remind people of prayer and wake them
up for it; living close to the mosque will enable men to join
the congregational prayers, women to listen to the Quran
recitation and dhikr over the mosques loudspeakers, and
children to join study-circles for memorization of Quran,
and so on.
The home should not be in a building where there are immoral
people, or in a compound where kuffar live and where there is
a mixed swimming pool and so on.
The house should not overlook others or be overlooked; if it
is, he should put up curtains and make walls and fences higher.
With regard to design and lay out, for example:
He should pay attention to the matter of segregating men and
women when non-mahrams come to visit, e. g. separate entrances
and sitting areas. If that cannot be done, then use should be
made of curtains, screens, and so on.
Covering windows, so that neighbors or people in the street
will not be able to see who is in the house, especially at night
when the lights are on.
The toilets should not be sited in such a way that one faces
the Qiblah when using them.
Choosing a spacious house with plenty of amenities.
This is for a number of reasons:
Allah loves to see the signs of His blessings on
His slave. (Hadeeth narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2819
There are three elements of happiness and three elements
of misery. The elements of happiness are: a righteous wife, who
when you see her she pleases you, and when you are absent from
her you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and
your wealth; a compliant riding-beast that helps you to keep
up with your companions; and a house that is spacious and has
plenty of amenities. The elements of misery are: a wife who when
you see her you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally,
and when you are absent from her you do not feel that you can
trust her with regard to herself and your wealth; a stubborn
riding-beast that if whip it, you get tired, and if you do not
whip it, it does not help you to keep up with your companions;
and a house with few amenities. (Hadeeth narrated by
al-Haakim, 3/262; Saheeh al-Jaami, no. 3056).
Pay attention to health-related matters such as ventilation,
natural light, and so on
Choosing the neighbor before the house
This is a matter which has to be singled out for discussion
because of its importance. Nowadays neighbors have more impact
on one another, because houses are closer together and people
live together in buildings, apartments and compounds.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) told us of four causes of happiness,
one of which is a righteous neighbor, and four causes of misery,
one of which is a bad neighbor. (Reported by Abu Naeem
in al-Hilyah, 8/388; Saheeh al-Jaami, 887).
Because of the seriousness of the latter, the Prophet (saws)
used to seek refuge with Allah from bad neighbors in his dua:
Allahumma innee aoodhu bika min jaar al-soo
fi daar il-muqaamah fa inna jaar al-baadiyah yatahawwil (O Allah,
I seek refuge with You from a bad neighbor in my permanent home,
for the neighbor in the desert [i.e. on a journey] moves on).
He commanded the Muslims to seek refuge with Allah from a bad
neighbor in a permanent home because the neighbor in the desert
will eventually move on. (Reported by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab
al-Mufrad, no. 117; Saheeh al-Jaami, 2967).
There is no room here to talk about the influence a bad neighbor
may have on a couple and their children or the kinds of nuisance
he can cause or the misery of living next to him. But applying
these ahadeeth quoted above to ones own life should be
sufficient for the one who is possessed of understanding. Another
practical solution is that implemented by some good people who
rent neighboring homes for their families, so as to solve the
neighbor problem. This may be an expensive solution, but a good
neighbor is priceless.
Paying attention to necessary repairs in the home, and
making sure that the amenities are in good working order
Among the blessings of Allah in this modern age are the modern
conveniences that He has bestowed upon us which make many
things easier and save time, such as air-conditioners, fridges,
washing-machines, and so on. It is wise to have the best quality
of appliances that one can afford without being extravagant or
putting oneself under financial strain. We should also be careful
to distinguish between useful extras and extravagant additions
that have no real value.
Part of caring for the home includes fixing appliances and
amenities that break down. Some people neglect these things,
and their wives complain about homes crawling with vermin, with
overflowing drains and piles of stinking garbage, filled with
broken and worn out furniture.
No doubt this is one of the obstacles to happiness in the
home, and causes problems in the marriage and health problems.
The smart person is the one who hastens to fix these things.
Paying attention to the familys health and safety
When any member of his family got sick, the Messenger of Allah
(saws) would blow on them and recite al-Miwadhatayn (last
two Surahs of the Quran). (Reported by Muslim, no. 2192).
When one of his family members got sick, he would call for
soup, and it would be made for him, then he would tell them to
drink it, and he would say, It will strengthen the heart
of the one who is grieving and cleanse (heal) the heart of the
one who is sick just as any one of you wipes the dirt from her
face. (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2039; Saheeh al-Jaami,
One of the ways of taking safety precautions is:
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: When evening
comes, keep your children inside, for the Shaytans (devils) spread
out at that time. Then when an hour of the night has passed,
let your children go, lock the doors and mention the name of
Allah, cover your pots and mention the name of Allah, even if
you only place a stick across the top of your vessel, and extinguish
your lamps. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 10/88-89).
According to a report narrated by Muslim, he (saws) said:
Lock your doors, cover your vessels, extinguish your
lamps and tie your knots properly [i.e., cover your jugs properly
in those days they would cover them with a piece of cloth
and tie it], for the Shaytan does not open a door that is closed,
or uncover something that is covered, or untie a knot that you
tie. And the mouse could set the house on fire (i.e. it could
pull out the wick of the lamp and set the house on fire).
(Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/103); Saheeh al-Jaami,
The Prophet (saws) said: Do not leave fires lit in
your houses when you go to sleep. (Reported by al-Bukhaari,
And Allah knows best, and may Allah bless
our Prophet Muhammad.