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Hijab Causes Rickets?

By Jimmy James

In response to a recent article claiming that adherence to Islamic dress in women causes rickets due to lack of sun exposure, I would like to add something. First I would like to mention that the article is incomplete. You're probably thinking, "How so, old chap?" Well it would be my pleasure to enlighten you.

First of all, everyone knows that you only need a few minutes of sun exposure a day. You can even get this at your home when you are in more casual clothes. Think about it, who does not get sunlight in their homes?

Well that was a short first point, wasn't it?

Second of all, I would like to mention that non-adherence to Islamic law can be hazardous to your health, and may cause problems in pregnant women, their children, and/or the elderly. If you walk around not covered properly and conservatively, because of your excess exposure to the sun in combination with the depleting ozone, you are more than likely to develop all kinds of cancers from lymphomas to melanomas. Please notice that not only do these illnesses rhyme, but I also said "more than likely" not "maybe". Yes, that is the truth, skin cancers and their derivatives are quite common and easy to get. Praise Allah and cover up.

Lastly, in relation to this topic, and just to make myself look smart; what about all those other crazy Islamic laws that prevent you from having fun? Well I'll fiddle with a few and see what I get.

Let's start with alcohol: here you can get everything form cirrhosis to hepatomegaly…trust me everything in between is just as bad.

Next is fornication and adultery: sure, sex is fun and all, but even I can't name all the sexually transmitted diseases out there. And what about the resultant accidental pregnancies, and you know the chances of getting pregnant are always high, that's why the world is so overpopulated.

So, that was fun and I give anyone permission to reprint this article to make people look bad…..hehe.

First published on iViews.

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