Islam and Marriage in the 21st Century
By Atangana Haashim Abdu-Salaam Kamena
Marriage is a Sunnah
The concept of marriage is one of the most important fundamentals in Islam but many Young Muslims living in the 21st Century ignore this concept. The concept of marriage is so important that it is a practice of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). Aishah (may Allah be please with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) had stated that:
"Marriage is a Sunnah of mine, and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of my followers."
The point that is propogated in this essay is to educate the Muslims how important it is to be married, especially living in North America due to the Fitnas (trials, tribulations) and problems that goes around in this society.
There are many reasons why single Muslims should get married. One of the major reasons why Muslims should get married is the fact that this practice is considered part of the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and one should get married if one has the financial means and confidence to maintain a partner. If the Muslim does not have the financial means to get married, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) had stated to fast because fasting kills the sexual desires.
Another reason why Muslims should get married is to protect his or herself from committing major sins. Aishah (Allah be please with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) has said:
"Get married because I will display your outnumbering the other nations on the day of ressurection.Whoever has wealth should get married, and whoever does not should fast, because fasting is a restraint of desire for him."
North American Culture Entraps Muslims
North America is considered to be a continent where there is absolutely no discipline due to the massive propaganda that goes on in the society. It is a place where Muslims are allowed to get away with commiting major sins such as fornication due to the fact that the society that the Muslims are living in is careless regarding this sinful action. According to Islamic law, fornication is considered to be a very serious sin whose punishment includes stoning to death and/or beating the sinner with lashes. In the North American culture, there is no strict discipline for Muslims when they commit major sins due to the fact that everything is controlled by the disbelievers. And because there is no strict discipline similar to the strict discipline in Muslim countries, Muslims fall into the trap of committng fornication due to the mixture of men and women in high school, college and universities.
Delaying Marriage Causes Problems
One of the reasons why these sinful acts are being committed is because Muslims have decided to delay marriage because of an education. This concept of getting an education before getting married has caused great fitna and many problems among young Muslims going to educational institution in North America. The concept of getting an education before marriage has led to the Muslims having too much free time for themselves and it is because of this concept that young Muslims have fallen into the trap of commiting major sins such as fornication.
The Muslim who has knowledge regarding the issue should be ask this question as follows, where is the statement of getting an education is Fard (obligatory) in order to get married? Where in the Qu'ran and does it state that getting an education is superior over getting married?
This idea of getting an education before getting married is a concept that came from the disbelievers that many Muslims once again fell into. The disbelievers, who do not believe in Allah and his Messenger, are not afraid of commiting fornication because most of them have no divine belief. The disbelievers adapted the concept of having girlfriends, boyfriends, which all leads to commit fornication.
The young Muslims fell into this trap because delaying marriage will eventually lead to fornication because when the Muslims enter educational institutions, they start having conversations with the opposite sex, another concept in Islam that is considered forbidden if one does not have a valid intention. Due to the fact that there is no proof that marriage should be delayed, the Muslims intention should be to get married as as soon as possible in order to protect one from commiting major sins. Abu Hurayrah reported that the messenger of Allah(peace be upon him )said:
"It is a right upon Allah to help one who seeks to marry for the purpose of avoiding what Allah has prohibited."
Marriage is a Shield
The young Muslims should start realizing that marriage is a shield against commiting major sins. The famous excuse for delaying marriage is the financial situation. Usually, the family of the spouse worries that the groom doesn't have the financial means or the mind state to get married.
One should get married even though he/she goes to school. In that way, the Muslim couple wouldn't be commiting any sins and every relation and sexual intercourse would be considered Halal. And when the groom would finish his education, he would eventually get a place for both him and his wife and get a stable job. This would be the ideal solution for Muslims to avoid commiting sins major sins. Allah says in Surat Nur:
"Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female servants. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from his favours. Allah is Bountiful and Knowing." Qu'ran 24:32
Parents Must be Aware
The older generation of Muslims also have an impact on how the young Muslim is delaying marriage. They also have a great part on the way they think as well. The Muslim parents are actually the reason why the Muslims end up delaying marriage due to the fact that they have to get an education in order to get married.
The parents of today's young Muslims are teaching their children that in order for them to be married they must have an education or else no marriage. The parents basically have a great part in how Muslims end up committing sins. The problem is the fact that the majority of Muslim parents have absolutely no idea of what goes in these educational institutions. Most of them don't realize that the kafir society allows the mixture of men and women, which is a concept that is forbidden in Islam.
Because these young Muslims are living in the land of the disbelievers, the concept of marriage should be taken more seriously. The older generation of Muslims should be aware of what goes on in the education institutions in order that they can become more wise regarding the future of their children. The Muslim parents should take the issue of marriage more seriously due to the fact that it eventually will contribute towards their children's salvation because it is not education that will save one from the punishments of the hereafter but marriage will.
Racism, Nationalism and Discrimination
Another common problem why young Muslims don't end up getting married are due to racism, nationalism and discrimination. The parents of the Muslim woman might not like the Muslim man due to the fact that he is not Somalian, Ethiopian, Pakistanian or Indian. The older generation of Muslims have become very ignorant regarding the fact that the religion of Islam eliminates racism and nationalism. And if the Muslim man happens to be from another nationality or race, they will make it hard for him to get married to their daughter. They will tell him that he must have such and such money and must have a house or condo in order for them to give their daughter away.
Realistically, for a young Muslim man to have these possessions could take years and since the Muslim man and woman are already involved in an unlawful relationship, they will eventually commit sins.
There is no doubt however that the parents of the Muslim woman must be careful on who they give their daughter away to, however the fact that being a practising Muslim has become not a sufficient reason for the parents to give their daughter away has caused excessive problems in the Muslim community, especially for the reverted Muslims. There are many young men who embrace the religion of Islam and they are many of them who are looking to get married. However, the parents of the Muslim woman will absolutely not give their daughter away due to the fact that he is not from their background. This is not fair for the new Muslims and the parents should give them a chance due to the fact that they have accepted Islam and the fact that they want to do the right thing in the religion.
Marriage Should be Taken More Seriously
In conclusion, all these problems that have been discussed in the essay must come to a stop. The Muslims should realize that the punishments of the grave and the punishments of the Hell fire are far too great to continue with these wrong practices. The concept of marriage of should be taken more seriously especially by Muslims living in North America. Muslims should get married so that they can get salvation in this world and the hereafter.
Life in the 21st century has become great fitna and one should
fulfill this duty to prevent one from commiting major sins.
Atangana Haashim Abdu-Salaam Kamena is a reverted Muslim from Christianity. He normally writes controversial essays regarding the Muslim community.