14 years old and forced into homosexual acts…
Assalamualaikum
Dear brothers and sisters
My age is 14
I become 14 in this year
I have committed a major sin that is called homosexuality I am really crying a lot and I am boy
I had depressions and I am very sensitive boy
I am asking for forgiveness all the day from Allah
I cry to ask for forgiveness
I didn,t wanted to commit because I didn,t knew it was sin but not only sin a major sin
That boy always forces me to do these bad things I am really crying a lot
What other people say I do it
I know I should be killed but I fear Allah I just want forgiveness
I am very honest sweet loving caring loyal and respectful everyone says this to me
I am very shy I don,t play anything I am very quiet in classes
Please help me 🙁 I am so sad
I have been trying to commit suicide
But after all I didn,t knew that suicide is haram I don,t know what to do I am so tired of this life
Please I want sensitive sweet answers please don,t abbuse me 🙁 you are only my hope
Asadullah
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Assalaamualaikam
If someone has forced you into an act, that is their sin, not yours - if you did not want to do something, then the other person was wrong to to make you do it. Remember as well that Allah is Most Merciful - if you feel that you have committed a sin, pray to him and repent for that sin, and trust in His Mercy.
From what you've written, I'm concerned that the person who made you do these things may be taking advantage of you, and is hurting you. I think you need to get some help from a trusted adult, who can help sort things out and keep you safe. Could you tell your mum or dad? Or a teacher at your school? Your parents will inshaAllah want to protect you - you're their son and part of being a parent is helping your children when they are in difficult situations.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Oh thank you so much brother for guiding me
I was so much scared I was thinking that Allah might punish me if he did then what will I answer to my mom and dad
But on the other way people call me angel
I don,t know how can I be angel if I commit lots of sins
I even don,t know what is haram is halal
Committing a major sin and repenting it everytime 🙁
And yes I have an other question I don,t have friends I only have friends that are from foreign country
Mostly those friends are girls I respect them a lot they love me I love them
I don,t have boy friends because they have such rude behaviour with me
So those girls always make me smile whenever I am sad those are so sweet
They called me sweetest thing ever
They are my sisters
In every chat at the end I always say good bye love you so much be happy God bless you and many more
I feel girlish because boys are not sweet I want to change myself into tough boy
So having girl friends allowed but not for bad purpose ?
Do I need to change or be same as sweet?
People say don,t change yourself
AsSlamuAlykum Bro.
Allah swt is most kind most loving. most merciful.
just get closer to HIM.
And Dnt share it with ur friends and Family.
change ur company leave bad friends.
get involve in good activities .
Go mosque Daily make new friends.
Read & Listen Quran.
Dnt let satan to desperate you.
May Allah forgive Ur Sin inshaaAllahh ameeen.
I won't share it with my friends and family because I know they will hate me
And I pray 4 times
4 times because I am not able to get up early morning and my sleep is so deep
Any alarm is not working but inshallah I will pray 5 times and read Quran in Ramadan
I really want to get closer very closer to Allah
And thank you for guiding me 🙂
Salam Son, As a mother of a 12 year old, my heart goes out for you. You clearly are a sweet and a loving boy who got trapped into this act which clearly shows was not your fault. You have just entered a "baligh" age as called adolescent age. Your sins are only sins if you do them knowingly. You are a pure soul inside and thats why you have said NO to this. You should be really proud of this and say thanks to Allah for giving you this sense. From now on the choice is yours you can either do lots of istaghfar from Allah and then move away from all this and stay away as well. Or keep dwelling in the past and not try to change your present and future. Suicide might seem an easy solution to you but why do you want to die by doing a Haram act and go to hell when you can repent, live your life according to Islam and find your place in Jannah Inshallah.
You are feeling lonely and depressed but get your family involved and stand up to this bullying. You dont want any body else to experience like that. Those who are doing this are indeed never going to stop untill some one will have a courage to tackle those.
May Allah help you in this and believe me He is, thats why you are seeking his blessings and forgiveness.
walikum salam mother I don,t know what to call 🙂
Thank you for all responses
I really want to ask something
that boy commits that sin so I want him to be forgiven I know he don,t care for himself but I do
If he is going to be punished then it will be my fault
I asked him to pray for himself but I know he will never do that
So I want Allah to forgive him 🙁
I have depressions tensions not only because of this
I have lots of other things
My mind thinks all the day
Now in this age I have been studying the university biology books and I clearly understand them
But I am still weak in my studies of 8 class
Thats even kind of you to ask for forgiveness for those who got you in this situation. May Allah reward you for this. Just stay focused for your future and aim higher. These things will always test you as Nafs tests you all your life in one way or another but if you know how to ignore, avoid and not giving it much thought, Allah will make you much stronger and pious InshAllah. Take care
thank you for all advice 🙂
Asalaamu aleyku my little brother as a father of 5 and 4 year old boy and girl what you are going through is very difficult and i can sense that you are very strong young boy but remember Allah is very merciful and forgiver and as my other friends said any think you are forced to do is not your sin its the sin of that person.
Here is my advice its just simple if you live somewhere in western first speak out to family mom, dad trusted brother, sister.
second in case that person may be have trust from your parent and other family members.
speak to school teacher, school counsellor or go to any nearest police station i am sure there is help out there.
please and please never keep silent such people never stop doing that unless they fear for life or they see your strong resistance and other supporters because they are evil and evil never leave you until you fight against .
i pray for you deeply that you win that fight with this sheydan man. na'uudu billah
may ALLAH FORGIVE YOU AAAMMIIN
walikum salam bro
But I never take revenge from anyone
I never fight with anyone
I forgive them
But who is the most merciful is Allah
Allah is the only forgiver
I think that I am highly sensitive boy
I have feelings for people
If they are crying or they are hurt
It hurts me to see them crying
I don,t know what I am
I dream to have a person who is same like me
But I have seen in every school I don,t find anyone who is like me 🙁 I only find girls
Assalam alaikum
Dear brother aSadd feel urself as Strong believer and not a slave to shaitan. Do not share bed it will easy to fall into this then
pray for urself and him both.Establish prayer and forgive yourself but take responsibility that u did a sin and will not repeat it ever again.tell ur mother she will protect you .Ask Allah s guidance and protection, He is the only Hope.
walikum salam
Dear brother
I think I have emotional attraction to boys and that makes me think I am gay
I will try an easy way to tell my parents about this
But more chances are that I can,t tell 🙁 but thank you for advice bro 🙂
Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters
I want to ask about masturbation
I masturbate to keep myself away from that boy
I masturbate for good purpose
So is it haram for me to do that 🙁
If it is haram so can you tell me how can I be away from masturbation
And another thing is that I masturbated in month of Ramadan
2014 Ramadan
In those thirty days I masturbated
But I didn,t knew that it was haram now I am worried because my every fast was broke 🙁
So will my fast be accept or no?
But I didn,t knew that it was haram 🙁
Dear brother. i want to share something i just read today in Quran. i just feel like sharing it with you.
You know who were the founders of this homosexuality? those were people of Lut. They used to satisfy their sexual desires from men. (not from the women i.e. the natural way).
Hazrat Lut (A.S), asked them to refrain from doing this grave sin but they instead became rivals of Hazrat Lut AS. and you know what happened to those people??? Allah Ta'ala poured a RAIN OF HARD STONES upon them.. Their city was lifted up by angels and was thrown from the height and was crushed badly.
So you see? such a big big punishment from Allah. you should be telling this to your friend who forced you to do this grave sin.
You are just 14. u are newly introduced to your sexual needs and u are fulfilling them through wrong means. STOP watching any of romantic movies, songs, or anything that urges you to do something wrong. indulge yourself in fruitful activities. start reading Quran WITH TRANSLATION, do ziker, pray five times a day. and whenever you feel the urge, instantly recite "AUZ'BILLA HI' MINA'SHAITAAN' IRAJEEM". the satanic urge will keep going away.
Masturbation breaks your fast. try to control yourself by the above instructions ..
All the best. and dont fall into the trap again. In shaa Allah.
So are my previous fasts accepted or not
But I didn,t knew that it's haram and breaks the fast
But thank you for advice
definitely ur all fasts are accepted because u didn't know that its haram. 🙂 but now u know this so be careful next time. All the best. May Allah make it easy for u AMeen
Oh thank god I was worried
Thank you so much 🙂
Ok my last question that is I am not sexually attracted to any gender
But when boys are in my favourite clothes then I like them
If they are not in my favourite clothes I don,t have any attraction to them
My favourite clothes are just jeans and round neck t shirts
I just wear them I don't like collar shirts
take it easy man. u r just 14 🙂 why are u so worried. forget about these things for now. why r u even thinking about this sexual attraction thing. u were just used by ur friend and thats just past now. concentrate on ur studies and not on any gender. U r too young to think about this right now.
once u grow up, u'll automatically know ur ways. the thing u have to do right now is just to avoid anything haram. even its with the boys or girls. try to be pious, try to be righteous. try to spend ur time with ur studies, family , games etc and with Allah. thats it.
Dont always focus on boys or girls. these things are occupying ur little mind.
this is just very normal that u like dressing of anyone. but Dont link it with sexual attraction.
Cheer up and stay in peace
Do you get sexual feelings when you are with girls or thinking about girl bodies?
Do you think about boys only (sexually when you masturbate?
Yes I get sexual feelings when with girls but I don,t think about their body but sometimes
No I don,t think about boys and girls both
Also I don't think while masturbating
Asadullah farooq: Yes I get sexual feelings when with girls but I don,t think about their body but sometimes
No I don,t think about boys and girls both
Also I don't think while masturbating
You seem to be normal. Just don't have sex with boys.
Usually boys have sexual thoughts that cause erections that lead to masturbation.
Thank you all for advice
You are the best
I wasn,t able to ask these questions from anyone
Assalaamu Alaykum,
I can see you are very clearly emotionally confused about many things, and it's upsetting to you which is understandable. I hope I can try to make things clearer for you.
Let's start at the beginning. You are sharing that you have a nature that is softer than other boys. You are saying that you believe you have an emotional, and perhaps sexual attraction to males over females. You are concerned that this makes you gay, and especially since you've engaged in homosexual acts with another boy who forced you into it.
One thing at a time.
Your soft nature is what Allah endowed you with. Everyone has a different nature. Some women are less emotional, some are more. Some women are "harder", while most are "softer". Likewise, some men are highly emotional, some are not. Some men have softer personalities, while most men are harder in that regard.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to these things. One's nature is one's nature, there is a purpose, plan and place for it, and there is nothing sinful about being more on a soft or hard side whether one is a man or woman.
When something becomes a sin, it becomes a sin because of action.
So again, one thing at a time.
Sometimes there are people who find themselves attracted to the same sex. This may be in addition to being attracted to the opposite sex, or exclusive. This is a test Allah chooses to give some, as a means to gain reward in the hereafter if they strive hard in it. Being attracted to someone of the same gender in itself is not what is wrong or sinful. What is wrong or sinful is acting upon it by engaging in intimate or sexual relations with another of the same sex (Let's also keep in mind that it is just as wrong to do so with the opposite sex, if one is not married!)
You admit you have engaged in sexual acts with another boy...
BUT
he has forced you to. It's arguable that you might not have done so if he had not forced you, and that means you are not accountable for what took place.
Now, the reason why it is so important for you to tell someone about this is because, a boy who forces people into acts like that, is probably doing it with others besides you. In addition, without being punished, he will continue to do so and become a man who forces other men or even boys into these same acts. This is beyond wrong, this is evil. And we have a responsibility to protect all of humanity (but especially our brothers and sisters) from evil. So you must tell someone, anyone, you trust about what he is doing. He must be stopped, and you will be freed from this part of the problem that is contributing to the disturbing and confusing feelings you are having.
Let me say clearly, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT HE IS CHOOSING AN EVIL WAY. He is doing that of his own accord, and he began that before he even engaged you. You are free to forgive him, sure, may Allah reward you for that. But forgiveness does not mean allowing someone who is a harm to others, to have a way to keep harming them. You have the power and responsibility to make this better for yourself and others, and may Allah strengthen you to carry that out.
Now, moving on...
Separate from all these things you're working through, it's still haraam at your age to have friendships with other females. It doesn't matter if you don't feel the least bit tempted or attracted to them, the limits of Allah apply to us all. I believe you love Allah, and want to do what pleases Him. So take care that you follow the boundaries He's established for dealing with non mahrem: by necessity only. Allah will surely see the efforts and the sacrifices you're making in doing so, and He will not leave anything you do without recompense. Rely on Him, He will suffice you, I assure you.
As far as masturbation, I personally feel that it is allowed under certain conditions. If masturbation is preventing you from a bigger sin, like zina, or being tempted in other sexual ways as you described, then it is better. You're a single young man, and you do not have a proper sexual outlet. Allah knows what He has in store for you, and it will take patience for you to see what He reveals. But in the mean time, don't put too much hardship on yourself. I don't know a single person who doesn't or hasn't masturbated at times of need, and clearly you are in a jihad. Just make sure that when you do relieve yourself in that way, that you don't allow yourself to think of sexual situations (with a male or a female). Try to limit the experience to the physical release solely. And may Allah guide you and help you in all the things He has tested you with, amin.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
walikum salam
Oh thank you so much
This all helped a lot
But I don,t have any relationships with girls
They are my sisters
I call them sisters and they all are elder them me
Assalaamu Alaykum,
Alhamdulillah if I was able to help you. But I want to clarify that regardless of what you call these girls, or how old they are, they are still non mahrem to you unless you mean they are literally biological sisters born from your mother. As non mahrem, you should not talk to them or have friendships with them, confide in them, hang out with them etc.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
walikum salam
But those sisters are not in my country
But are Muslims
But I only talk to two girls who are sisters of each other
Both are Muslims but are not in my country
Yes I understand, but they are still haraam for you. There are lots of posts on this site where people have asked about talking to the opposite sex online, if someone lives in another country, is it permissable. And it's not.
-Amy
Thanks a lot it helped me a lot through out this problem
Assalamoalaikum brothers and sisters
Today I wanted to hug someone of my age so I thought this boy will never do this act again
But he did this act
I just wanted to hug him but when he taken out his pe*** so he asked me to shake it
I was so scared I started to remember Allah and asked Allah please help me with this
He said if I dont shake it he would shake it by himself and throw the sem** in dustbin and make it dirty
I said him no I asked him aren't you scared of Allah he didn,t replied
When ever he is coming to my home so he always does this to me
I don't know what should I do please help me
I just wanted to hug him but I didn't wanted him to be kicked out because he would fight with me if I did
I am scared because this time again this boy is repeating this sin with me
I said him to please I say please zip up your pants 🙁 he never listens
I am a soft hearted person if he harmed me I would definitely cry 🙁
Please help me
Someone see me please
I have successfully have come religion Alhamdulillah
But I don't see any hope in me
Because this time i will be punished
Please brothers and sisters help meeeeeee
I was just so depressed and wanted to hug someone who is around my age
But this boy is always talking about sex he is so bad
Please help meeeeee I didn,t wanted him to do this
I now hate him a lot 🙁 he is bad
He can never be a good Muslim
I don't want Allah to be sad because of these people I love Allah and I always believe in him 🙁
Please see my message 🙁
Assalam alaykum
I would like to say firstly, Allah tells us never despair at the mercy of Allah, indeed Allah is oft forgiving, oft merciful. Allah is forgiving, remember that.
However any sexual acts, with a male or female is not permissible, you must make every effort to stay away from this. Allah orders us not to come 'close to zina' so this means anything that could lead to illegal/forbidden sexual relationships. So try to stay away from hugging boys/girls - especially if you knew this boy had previously forced/pressured you into homosexual acts (hated to Allah Azzawajal) you should make every effort to stay well away from him. You are accountable your Lord, your Creator, your Sustainer for your choices, so choose to be as far away from this boy as possible, avoid being alone with him and get help from a trusted adult if you can!
I understand it might not be an option to tell your parents or an adult as I have worked with children and know how scary this can be. If you do not/will not seek help from adults you must learn to protect yourself from these situations in which you can be forced or pressured into haram homosexual acts. Imagine dying whilst committing these acts? You must try very hard to avoid being alone with men/boys. Perhaps join a quran/islamic studies class to strengthen your eeman and will, no doubt you are young and turning to Allah could offer you some peace and direction.
Another thing I'd like to add which causes confusion for young boys/girls who are sexually exploited is sometimes they enjoy the experience which makes them think it is also their fault or that Allah will punish them or that as mentioned you might be gay. This is not true. Do not let the shaytan deceive you just because your sexual organs perhaps responded (normal biological reaction) and everyone reacts differently. That doesn't mean anything and do not focus on thoughts like this.
Remember what Allah loves, what is beloved to him, how to be beloved to your Lord. Imagine we will all die one day and meet Allah, on that day, the pain and suffering of this world will mean nothing, it will seen like a short hour. What will matter is if we are from those Allah loves and will be rewarded with the Mercy of Allah. That is what we all forget, the pain and hardships are tests, they are not there to break you young man. Be strong, focus on becoming a pious slave of Allah, cut any sexual contact or opportunity for someone to unzip their trousers, just do not allow yourself to be in this vulnerable situation. Also it seems to me you aren't living in the West so perhaps police/teachers aren't a people you can turn to as the society weighs heavily on unIslamic culture just try to take the advice on board. Turn away from females/male companions and may Allah grant you a righteous male companion who can aid you towards a path most pleasing to Allah Azzawajal.
Making dua for you, all the best
All good advice, jazaki Allah khayr.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor