How Can I Be Patient Until Marriage?
November 23, 2006
This question is answered by Wael Abdelgawad, the AskBilqis.com and Zawaj.com Editor and Administrator.
QUESTION:
Dear Bilqis,
assalamualykum,
I am a 23 year old male, unmarried and attending graduate school. I am near to my graduation. At this age, I am very despearate to get married. I feel ready to have a wife now, but the problem is that I am not financially stable since I need ten to twelve months after graduation to get stable, but these months are getting hard for me. Every day is a trial for me as the environment of my campus is full of girls. It’s like cultural shock once I came to USA from India (my home country). I need your help. please let me know what steps needs to be taken for being patient.
- Siddiq from USA
WAEL ANSWERS:
Dear Siddiq, As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
I went to high school in Saudi Arabia, and from there directly to California for university. So I am aware of the culture shock you are talking about.
I have three points of advice for you:
1. Attach your heart to the Masjid
The most important thing you can do to maintain your peace of mind, and your imaan, is to stay close to the masjid (the mosque). The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said that,
“The most loved places to Allah Ta’ala is the Masjid.” (Muslim)
And he said,
““There are seven (types of persons) whom Allah will give protection with His Shade:…(one of them is) a person whose heart is attached to the masjid…” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Try to go to the masjid every day for prayers, perhaps twice a day. You can go for Dhuhr or Asr prayer if you have a break from your classes, and again at night for Maghreb or Ishaa. Visiting the masjid at night is especially rewarding, as the Prophet Muhammad (pubh) said,
“Give good news to those who go to the masjid in the darkness of the night to offer the prayer in congregation that on the Day of Judgement they will be provided with a perfect light.” (Tirmidhi)
If you go for Maghreb or Ishaa’ prayer, try to linger a little bit afterwards to read Qur’an, do your homework, or make conversation with the others congregants. Get to know the brothers who attend regularly and become friends with them. This positive and supportive companionship will reinforce your desire to follow the Islamic path and avoid anything haram.
2. Fast
Fasting is a shield for you and will help to protect you from sinful thoughts and actions. It will keep you close to Allah and will purify your actions. Try to fast Mondays and Thursdays if you can, or at least one day a week.
3. Be Patient
The other thing I would say to you is that you are 23 years old and you have been patient for a long time, to your credit. Alhamdulillah you have guarded your religion and your purity. This is a valuable achievement and when you get married Insha’Allah you can have the satisfaction of entering your marriage with purity and sincerity, Alhamdulillah.
Just try to be patient for a little bit longer, until you are prepared to get marrried and Allah has brought you the person who will help you complete your deen and make a good Muslim family.
If any readers have some advice for this brother, feel free to post your comments below.
Glory to You Allah, we praise You, we bear witness that there is no God except You, we ask Your forgivess and we repent to You.
Best regards,
- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator
AskBilqis.com Islamic Marriage and Family Advice
ZAWAJ.COM Muslim Matrimonials and More!
Written by wael on November 22nd, 2006 with 9 comments.
Read more articles on Islamic Answers 2006 and Marriage and Want to Get Married.