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I'm a 16-year old sister who has (I'm very embarassed to say this) a very ... a very high sexual drive. But my parents believe that I'm too young to get married yet.
I was a good child, I sought Allah, I prayed 5 times a day as a child and even as a teenager. I stayed up long nights reading Quran , making Dikr.. I am not a faithless or unaware person. I know I need to change, I am very lost and confused and find myself doing bad things, talking to bad people.
Many of my friends are homosexuals. Sometimes they force me to do the same thing with them...
I am a teenager and my husband and I live separately due to family. My parents do not let me meet him incase I get pregnant. He will be leaving to go to study for 6 years. All I want is to be with him but he cannot take me. He asked me if he should stay or go...?
I like to play games. Recently I played a game in which it had some very bad scenes... I watched it accidentally.
I have a strong belief that one of these people, maybe my father's new wife, the ex-fiancee of my husband, or even my own mother have made magic on me. Mostly I believe it's my father's wife. She was not satisfied to take my father, she also wanted to make us disappear from his life. And what better way to make a mother and daughter fight every day like dogs?
I thought Allah hated me and wanted him to hurt me. Even though I know that's probably not right, I still feel that way sometimes. I feel like Allah hates me. Thats when I go back to my suicidal thoughts. I planned, but I'm too scared. Sometimes though I hurt myself without knowing because I'm just so sad.
After a few days he told me he was engaged and later that very evening confessed he loved me. Then chatting on and off for 2-3 days he said he was interested in me but since he was engaged he wanted to stop messaging. I can't get him out of my mind.
My sexual urges seem to have a lot of control over me. So, I often tend to masturbate in my bed before sleeping at night. While masturbating, I fantasize about myself having sex with a beautiful, thin woman. It gives me a lot of pleasure. Sometimes, my desires also lead me to watch animated porn videos.
He said men are promiscuous by nature and monogamous by choice. I have observed other men but I truly feel like my husband looks a lot more than most.