Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A cold heart

Cold heart, emotionless, cold husband, husband doesnt care

Assalam alaykom,

Iam a muslim young lady,25 years old, iv educated myself to respect myself and my familly, and to be a wise person, i never had a boyfreind in my life, never been with any boy and never tried to be with anybody, i spend all my life evoiding or like we say freindzoning evryone in my life, even it hurt me, now i feel cold hearted, i cant trust and i cant love, and never thought or had the idea that someday maybe  i will ever get married or anything, iam now planing to live alone, cause i dont know anything about evrything and i feel empty without feelings.

Its sad for me cause i feel alone but i never let anyone to be in my life.

Ihassane


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2 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualykum Ihassane,

    I recommend praying Salat-ul-Hajat, a two- rakah "prayer for a need," and asking Allah to grant you some good friends. Allah only gives us as much as we can handle, and perhaps you were not ready for friendships or marriage before.

    Do you work? Can you have lunch with one or two of your coworkers once in awhile? This would offer you an opportunity to have some communication with people without more commitment than you can handle, as it wouldn't have to be during non-work hours unless you wanted to extend it to such.

    Also, can you join some interest-related groups either online or in your local area? What are you interested in? There are always people interested in the same things, whether it be a sport, artistic pursuit, or just getting together to talk about politics and policy. Maybe having the focus and conversation be on a shared interest rather than the quality of your relationship or love will lower the stress and expectations a little bit.

    If you find yourself continuing to have difficulty with this and it causes you distress, I would recommend that you go to regular therapy to talk about the issue.

    May Allah bless you with some great company that makes you feel loved and gives you happiness.

    Hugs,

    Nor

  2. What you're doing is good and don't worry when the time comes for you to marry you will develope love and trust for your spouse. These thoughts you have are from shaytan and can lead you to danger. It is also not recommended to be in a setting alone as it can potentially open doors for haram. What you're doing now is what Allah commands so have faith because there is always good in what Allah says.

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