Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A humiliating marriage

Self respect

My wife is a physician and I'm highly educated as well. I have two masters degrees from two western universities. But I don't hold a good paying job like hers. My wife feels ashamed that she didn't marry a doctor like her so she can live the lifestyle she wants.

Because of my financial insecurity and uncertainty, sometimes I act frugally. If she asked for 3 things and I got her 2 of them, she insults and swears and expresses it loudly that she feels ashamed of me. She always compares herself to other women, and me to her male workmates.

How about her money? She keeps it for herself. Despite the fact that we are new immigrants, she always tells me I'm the breadwinner and she is not required to contribute financially.

I always feel humiliated and think I should leave this relationship, but we have two little daughters who would indeed suffer if we separated. Please give me your insights.

Note: my wife memorizes the whole Quran and never misses a prayer.

Jazakum Allahu Khayran

Mazen33


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5 Responses »

  1. Salam alaykum..

    Your wife seems a bit arrogant and demanding.. However, I don't want to make this rush judgement, but I gotta say that this is how she's potrayed through your post.

    Brother, you should sit with your wife and solve your problem. You need to let all your thought out and tell her what is bugging you.

    You claim that if you and your wife divorced, your daughters would suffer.?. Brother, some children suffer even more when they see that there parents are fighting.. I don't say that you should divorce your wife.. But I urge you to sit with your wife and try to solve your problems.

    • "some children suffer even more when they see that there parents are fighting"

      That's true. I think divorce is sometimes better for the children, especially if the home environment is full of screaming, insults, fighting, etc.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Salaam Brother,

    Sorry to hear about your situation and I make Dua that Allah makes it better for you.

    I would suggest try to improve on yourself and read some books.

    His Needs Her Needs
    The Married Man Sex Life Primer

    Hope this helps.

    May Allah give Barakah in your marriage.

  3. Brother, first try to get good job, and explain her islamically, by telling stories of prophets, sahabas etc, she may change her attitude, tell her if you earn more than her your love will be same for her, if she even doesn't earn your love remains same. In your case ego and shaitaan is there once you both learn to overcome by that believe me your love will be for ever best, dont divorce try to correct her.

    Jazakallah khairan

  4. Jazakum Allah khairan all for your insights and advice!

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