Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Will accepting this proposal break my father’s trust?

Assalamualaikum,

I have a friend who is interested to get married to me. We have been friends for 6 years. We came to know each other by a wrong call, and slowly we became friends. Now we are very good friends, and have shared each and every thing of our life. We have not met each other, and we have just shared our photos.

My mom and his sister know about our friendship, but I have one physical problem. Even after knowing about it he is ready to marry me. A few months back, I got one marriage proposal and I was about to get engaged, but later they refused me due to my physical problem. But he is ready to accept me with what I am. I too like him a lot. I am scared to reveal about him to my family. I am feeling as though I have broken the trust of my parents, especially dad who trusts me alot. I don't know how he will react if he comes to know about this. On the other hand, I don't want to miss a good character and very religious guy in my life. I don't know what to do?

-Haseen


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4 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum Sister,

    The issue isn't breaking your father's trust, it is about breaking the limits of Allah swt.

    I sense that you are worried about what your father will think of you and that you will hurt him too.

    It is best to talk it over with your mother and then sit with both your parents and put it out there. It is better to get this out in the open with the potential of a halal marriage than to remain in a haram relationship. Not meeting him doesn't make the relationship alright and no one will give you the green light on that--and nor should your sister or mother remain silent on this issue.

    Six years of talking to him is rather long, but continuing this way is not alright. Please inform your father and have this man meet your father and investigate him--and you should not continue to talk to him in private sister. Please do not continue like this.

    I pray that Allah swt grant you what is best to bring you closer to Allah swt, Ameen.

  2. Selamun Aleykum,

    Marriage is built on love and soulmate.
    if you love him and if you feel your souls are in syncronisation (considering believes) and if your consious is sure what you are doing is right.
    Forget every worry in your mind.
    You will be successfull at the end eventhough you suffer some problems -like your fathers emotional reactions or something- in the way.

    • What does the following mean?

      if you love him and if you feel your souls are in syncronisation (considering believes) and if your consious is sure what you are doing is right.

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    If you like this man and feel that the two of you are compatible for marriage, then it would be best to make sure your parents are both involved from an early stage in considering marriage - and his parents as well. Why not explain to your mum that this man has expressed an interest in marriage, and ask her advice about how to raise the issue with your dad?

    Private communication with non-mahrams of the opposite gender is not appropriate, so it's important to make sure all your interactions from now on are within Islamic limits, and to ask for forgiveness for any transgressions that have occurred.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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