Allah is not helping me
Four years ago a guy proposed me, but I refused him as I did not want a haram relationship. Many times he asked me for marriage, and I said I would talk to my parents about it. He said after he completed his studies he would ask my parents for marriage. We were in the same university, so we were in contact.
As time passed I fell in love with him. I started liking everything about him. He used to take care of me and protect me. After a year, he again asked me to marry him, and this time I said yes. I saw tears in his eyes. He told his family about me, and his sister start talking to me. She said she would come to my house to talk to my parents.
In these 4 years we both became very close to each other. But I made one big mistake, so during this time we both got physically attracted to each other. I knew it was sin, so I asked Allah for forgiveness every time. We both knew it was wrong. we tried to avoid sitting alone. Now 4 years have passed, and my parents want me to get married now. They are finding a boy for me.
He had a fight with his parents. Whenever he talked to them for marriage, they said no, and he was tensed. One day we had a fight, and he left me. He said our marriage is not looking possible to him, and he's fed up with our fights.
I prayed to Allah that he comes back to me and gets married to me. For 3 months, all night I keep praying. I pray regularly 5 times. I read Qur'an daily. I'm a good Muslim, and the only sin I have done is getting physical with him. A thousand times I have asked Allah for forgiveness, but Allah never listens to me.
I don't want to to get married to anyone else. I don't want any other guy to touch me. I always imagined him as my husband, and always prayed to Allah that I get married to that guy. I had trust in Allah; I knew Allah would never do this to me. But Allah did this. Now I don't feel like praying or reading Qur'an. I'm shattered and broken. I feel like Allah is not with me. I have wished for something, and this is the first time I asked Allah for something this desperately. I pray and cry all night in sajood, but Allah is not listening to me. I was so attached to Allah and used to love Allah so much, but now I feel disconnected with Allah and I don't love Him. I don't want to say this, but yes I don't love Him anymore.
-haszan
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be patient , and have faith ...there are so many people in world who r suffering ...i donot know why but may be its a test for u...i know it is not easy....but never give up ...and never blame Allah ....what ever u have in life ..that is also blessings of Allah like parents brothers sisters....think of those who donot even these people around them ....try to be with them ....they must be ur well wisher ....u r lucky that u have family....be patient and if that boy really loves u then he will not marry as soon as his parent accepts u....
advise may be too harsh but sometimes believe on stranger like me...be firm enough to say that u will wait till he convince his parent...
ASSALAMALAIKUM-
Imam Ibn Qayyam (R.A) said:
"Disobedience to Allah and sins make the heart blind
and then this heart does not conceive truth as it should."
May Allah save us from Sins! Aameen
Are we becoming less deserving of Allah’s blessings?
When we look around us and the miseries that have plagued the world, one wonders where the blessings have gone. Are we robbing ourselves of Allah’s blessings and becoming less deserving of them? Ibn Al-Qayyim briefly addressed this topic and writes as follows:
Specifically, he mentions that we have reached this state because of the following:
Inclination has replaced wisdom.
Vain desires have replaced reason.
Going astray has replaced guidance.
The wrong has replaced the good.
Ignorance has replaced knowledge.
Hypocrisy has replaced devotion.
The unlawful has replaced the lawful.
Lying has substituted truthfulness.
Flattery has substituted (sincere) advice,
and injustice has replaced justice.
"The earth trembles, the heavens have darkened, evil has appeared on land and on sea because of the injustices of the wicked, and evil doers. Blessings have disappeared, good deeds are less, and life has become corrupted because of the wickedness of the wrong-doers. The morning light and the night's darkness shed tears, because of the awful deeds that are committed. Honorable writers among the angels and others from among them have complained to their Lord because of the prevalence of misdeeds and the supremacy of atrocities. "
U HAVE TO HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING THAT THE SIN U DID INSPITE OF KNOWING AND THAT IS VERY BIG-
SO TO BECOME A BELOVED OF ALLAH YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT BECAUSE U R AT FAULT AND THAT WILL TAKE TIME BE FOR GIVEN AND U HAVE TO WAIT AND BE PATIENT-
What can we learn from such a situation?
islam on Are we becoming less deserving of Allahs blessings?
He states that:
By Allah! This is a warning of approaching torment, and forthcoming afflictions, so you have no resort except sincere repentance as long as repentance is still available.
Let’s, therefore, not wait until there is no escape, as Allah says,
islam on Are we becoming less deserving of Allahs blessings?
which means, “And those who do wrong will come to know by what overturning they will be overturned.” (Quran: Ash-Shu’ara, 26:227)
WATCHOUT PUT U R TRUST IN ALLAH-U R IN NO POSITION TO COMPLAIN AT ALL EXCEPT BOW IN HUMBLENESS TO ALLAH AND SEEK FORGIVENESS AND WAIT FOR HIM TO CONSIDER YR CASE-
REGARDS
ali yousuf u are a harsh person
you and people like you make allah and iislam look difficult in the eyes of people
ALL THE FRUITS, JOYS AND COMPANIONSHIP OF MARRIGE WAS UTLIZED CONSCIOUSLY BY BOTH.
Hence both got what thier heart DESIRED in those 4 years.
The Man NOW has desired not her though she still seeks happy ending for her forbidden tale of love.
don't blame the guy. She dishonored her Parent's.
One shall reap what it sows.
May Allah SWT Grant you Peace oh Sister!!!
Allah SWT Knows Best What is Good For us !!! We might not realize that now but will SURELY do so...SOONER or LATER!!!
May Allah SWT Protect Us from the Fitnah and Waswasa of Shaitan...and May Allah The Exalted SWT Forgive and Guide Us to Protect our FAITH!!!
Please try to see this Life as a Muslim should look at and Live it, this world is Mortal which will soon come to an END! Just like we are not Going to Live Forever and Ever.
First of all there is no such relationship of Love in Islam before Marriage which you got into and started imagining a non-marram as your Husband...Whenever we break a Law of Allah SWT there is Loss that follows with it if not here in this Life than in the Hereafter if we don't seek Forgiveness before we breath our last!
That is why it was EASY for him to walk out from the Haraam relation as there were no strings (Nikah) attached...Here too - you should be Thankful to Allah SWT to have shown you this Guy's weak and fake personality of not keeping and standing by his words or commitment.
Another aspect that you have missed out sister is that, Allah SWT has Blessed you with Tahajjud Prayers besides the compulsory 5 Prayers...He Loves the Person - he or she who wakes up and stands for even 2 rakats of Nafl in Tahajjud...
Dua being ACCEPTED OR NOT in this Life should not affect your FAITH in Allah SWT infact it should be more STRONG that something that has not been Granted by the All-Knowing SWT was not Good for you and the reward for your this particular Dua will be presented to You in the Afterlife...
The Blessings and the Greatness of Allah SWT is Infite and cannot be measured with the acceptance of DUA...So Great and Mighty is He that if all of His Creation (Humans and Jinns together) were to stand ans ask for their wishes be granted at ONE TIME Allah SWT Can Grant it all at once and His SWT Treasures Will still be Full and Unaffected!!!
Just be Patient and Believe in Allah SWT; whatever He Does Has Good in-stored for Us and Insha-Allah a better Muslim Will be coming to ask for your hand in marriage In the near future!!!
Jazak Allah Khairun!!!
First he liked you and you did not. Then you fell in love and you did physical attraction. Now you both are fighting and he wants out but you can't live without him. I don't think you are going to fall back in love again.
Just marry some one your parents find for you.
Sister. I could say be patient, have faith, dont say that ect but
I just want to tell you one thing. Allah is by you, Allah listens to you all day and night, Allah is the one thats there for you when noone is,he is the one that wipes your tears when you cry. Please dont give up. Just stop for a second and look at the huge blessings Allah has given you (eyes,ears,family,health) in sh Allah.there is a qoute that says when you have 10 reasons to cry, you have 100 reasons to smile. So dont give up, be strong and get closer to Allah. Wake up for tahajud and cry your heart out to Allah, every emotion not just about the boy but everything. May Allah guide you, and grant you all that you desire.
Any relationship based on haram acts is bound to fail.
You can't build a building if the foundation of the building is the wrong one; the entire building would clash and end up in disaster.
People come into our lives for 2 reasons; as a blessing, or to teach us a lesson.
Learn your lesson, and repent for committing zina. It is not a sin to be taken lightly.
This man is not the one for you, there is a far better person out there for you, Insha Allah, but right now,
you need to work on yourself and how you are going to get closer to Allah.
You're saying Allah isn't listening to you, but that's not true. What your asking for is the wrong thing for you, and Allah knows it.
"And it may be that you dislike something that is good for you, and that you may like something that is bad for you. Allah knows better, and you do not."
Allah IS listening to your prayers, you just need to realize that He has something better in mind for you.
Dear sister, he has decided not to marry you. God won't interfere in that boy's decision.
God has given you His answer and it is no.
We don't always get what we want in life, we get what Allah wants. Don't you think there are millions of Muslims around the world making dua for their brethren in Syria for the last 3 years? Please put your dua in perspective.
You will get over this guy eventually. The intensity of your grief will lessen over time. And then you will either marry someone else or you will get busy with other things.
Asalaamalaikum sister,
Please don't blame Allah or leave Him. Everything happens for a reason and you must see this as a test, or rather this man simply isn't good for you.
On this website, many girls have a similar situation to yours and the outcome seems to be the same, I.e the guy leaves after he's done with them.
I don't want to be negative or anything, but if this man truly loves you, he would treat you with kindness, and respect not fight all the time, fighting will be inevitable in a relationship but this should be overlooked if this love is genuine. He would also do something to convince his parents.
I have to share one harsh truth though. People lucky enough to have parents should do everything they can to please them. I'm not saying be unhappy in order to make them happy, we can compromise with parents. By the sounds of it this man is on the path of obeying his parents more. You can't hate him for this.
Allah is always watching, always listening. If this man is good for you Allah will bring him back to you. In the meantime, don't stop prayers and reading Qur'an.
I pray Allah does what's best for you and you find happiness Ameen.
Broken_Soul: "By the sounds of it this man is on the path of obeying his parents more. You can't hate him for this."
According to OP.......After a year, he again asked me to marry him, and this time I said yes. I saw tears in his eyes. He told his family about me, and his sister start talking to me. She said she would come to my house to talk to my parents.
His parents knew their son was in relationship with a girl. If they did not like the girl they should have forced their son to STOP the relationship. Parents in question let their son USE this girl for 4 years.
Did the son "obey" his parents by having relationship with this girl?
It wasn't clear that the parents knew, I couldn't make that assumption, the sister only knew. When the OP mentioned that the man had an argument with the parents then it was clear they weren't happy about their relationship.
For all we know that man might have tried to convince his parents for 4 years but could not, hence the conclusive leaving of the OP. Surely that would mean he's trying to make his parents happy?
Salam sis
Please don't despair in d mercy of Allah u seem to have loose hope in Allah and let me remind u one thing dat Allah is not in need of our love at all we are d ones in need of Allah in our lives so if u say u don't love Allah my dear u r d one dat looses d most be very careful and repent wholeheartedly,sis we are bound to make mistakes and be tested and maybe dis guy is not meant for u dear why don't u move on with. Life and ask Allah most high to guide u to your true spouse I pray dat Allah soften our hearts and guide us to do what pleases him d most AAMEEN
Aoa. may Allah be pleased with you and show you the right path. I have been In the similar situation except that I love Allah more than anything.
sister, its hard. but you need to understand one thing; Allah loves you more than 70 mothers. can you imagine that? if a child cries in front of the mother, mother gives that thing immediately to her child. Allah who loves you so much, why wouldn't He listen? He does. He will never give you anything that is bad for you in any way. He cannot see you in pain. this pain is nothing in front of the pain you might face. He is saving you. dont you trust Him enough? the most you can do is pray that Allah makes the man good for your deen, duniya, death and akhira. if Allah doesnt wish that then may He divert your heart Nd give you internal peace.
now one more thing, if a hardship comes to you, it comes with the permission of Allah. in that hardship if you do sabar and come closer to Allah that means its a test for you and with His mercy it will end. but if you go away from Him it means you are being given punishment. which is clear in your case.
you were physically involved but did you repent? if you would have repented then you wouldn't have said all this. do you feel ashamed facing your Lord? He forgave you even when you disobeyed Him.how can you underestimate His mercy? praying 5times and reading Quran doesn't mean that Allah has given you hidayat. hidayat is when you understand Allah. you understand His love, when tears fall when you remember Him with love. anyone can pray and read Quran but only a few know how these things feel. turn to Allah because you know He deserves to be worshipped and not because you want something from Him. the day you will understand this, you will know what being happy is. put it in His hands and wait for miracles to happen.
may Allah shower His mercy upon you and forgive you for your disobedience. Ameen.
Do you have a big fear of your future husband finding out about your virginity? Is that one of the reason you only want to marry your friend.
Don't think you are the only girl who did this before marriage. Many young people will do it if they get a chance. You need to calm down and work thru this.
I'm not sure if she lost her virginity. It sounds more like they fooled around a bit while alone. Unless someone specifically states that they had intercourse we should not make that assumption.
Assalam alaikum,
Sister, we humans break Allah's rules and when things are going the way we want, we have no complaints, but as soon as something doesn't happen our way, we blame Allah swt. Sister, first you refused marriage to this man, then you agreed - but the problem is that you let yourself become close to him. You have to take responsibility for your own actions and can't blame Allah swt.
Recall the following Sister:
Try to understand that this life is a test and Allah has enabled us with some abilities, including making choices and we will be held accountable on the Day of Judgement. The world is not a just place where the good and bad get what they deserve--hence why there is a Day of Judgement where Allah will be the ultimate Judge.
In the time that you got to know the boy over 4 years, you should not have. The both of you should have asked your parents to go ahead with a Nikah, rather than meeting continually out of marriage--and it was not one mistake that you did, but rather it is your perception. Allah knows best what our mistakes are and what our good deeds are.
When we pray to Allah swt, we do so for our own benefit. Our dua's may be answered, answered with delay or rejected in this world, but we may get something else for them on the Day of Judgement. So, continue your prayers and do not let the outcomes of your life be the driving force for praying--the reason why we pray to Allah swt is because He is deserving of it--not so that we can get certain worldly things.
Allah does listen to you. Sister, I feel you are distracted and caught in shaitaan's trap. You are so wrapped up about this boy, that it has affected your relationship with Allah--maybe it is better you are not with this boy. You said that you and him had fights and that your parents refused to give you hand in marriage--what was the reason? I truly think you need to consider WHY your parents said no. Love isn't enough after marriage--a couple have to work through so many tough challenges and one's character is very important. If you and him were fighting a lot--there is a good chance that these would become routine after marriage.
Re-focus on your relationship with Allah swt.
Talk to your parents and listen to them regarding marriage.
Do not be distracted from Allah swt by worldly matters.
Inn shaa Allah, your pain will ease with time.
May Allah grant you what is best for you, Ameen.
I don't want to to get married to anyone else. I don't want any other guy to touch me. I always imagined him as my husband, and always prayed to Allah that I get married to that guy. I had trust in Allah; I knew Allah would never do this to me. But Allah did this. Now I don't feel like praying or reading Qur'an. I'm shattered and broken. I feel like Allah is not with me. I have wished for something, and this is the first time I asked Allah for something this desperately. I pray and cry all night in sajood, but Allah is not listening to me. I was so attached to Allah and used to love Allah so much, but now I feel disconnected with Allah and I don't love Him. I don't want to say this, but yes I don't love Him anymore.
AsSalaamu Alaikum Sister Haszan,
MashaAllah, you have received good advice from the posters above. I would like to discuss about the part that has to do with your love for Allah, and Allah's response to your du'a. I can understand that you went through a sensual journey with your soul, and have passed through many stages of ibadah till you lost hope, when you got to one of the most difficult stages (i.e. the 15th stage).
There are 100 stages to achieve the reality of ibada (i.e. the reality of iyyaaka na'budu (It is You we worship) wa iyyaaka nastaeen (and upon You we call for help)). Every servant who is serious about getting closer to Allah and attaining His love and satisfaction, and who works towards achieving this will definitely pass through all those sensual stages on his journey to Allah. Knowing these stages and their limits based on Quran and Sunnah is very important, as it helps the servant to be aware of the stages he has passed through, and the stages he is at the moment descending to. In fact, this is how our Salafs (i.e. our Predecessors) became succesful in Dunya and Akhirah, and it is through that, they recieved every good thing they seeked for in Dunya and Akhirah.
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah be pleased with him) said,
I am at the moment very busy with other projects, but I will try to list the stages of ibadah here very soon inshaAllah, as I believe they are very useful and can answer many of the questions that are faced by our Ummah today, such as why Allah is not listening to many of our du'as, while he Has indeed listened to the Prophets, the Sahabah and the righteous men and women who lived before us?
Assalam Aleykoum Brother Issa,
Sub7anaAllah! I was reading the first paragraph and before going unto the second one I was just about to post you this message:
Is it possible for you to state the 100 statges of attaining/achieving the reality of ibada (i.e. the reality of iyyaaka na'budu (It is You we worship) wa iyyaaka nastaeen (and upon You we call for help)?
But then I read further and reslised that you mentioned that you will InshaAllah list them in time.
Just thought that I should let you know that I am very eager to read that list InshaAllah (at your own convinience/pace).
JazakaAllah
Wa Alaikum Salaam Warahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh Sister Zahriya,
Ok. I hear you, and I will do soon inshaAllah.
Please make du'a for me when you remember, inshaAllah.
Jazakillah Khair.
rather than making duaa to bring this boy back , ask for a righteous loyal husband . salam
Salaams,
To me, the main issue in your post is not about what happened or will happen with this boy. It's about your relationship and connection with Allah. Things are seeming not to work out with the boy, even though you want it to. You aren't sure what is going to happen and fear the worst. This is making you mistrust Allah and feel unloved by Him.
Sister, basically what you're indicating is that your love and attachment to Allah is directly connected to Him doing what you like. Of course, this isn't how the physics of spirituality work. We were created for Him; He doesn't exist to please us. We are to submit to Him and follow Him whether He grants us what we like, or He doesn't. Your connection and love for Him has to be based on who He IS, not what He can do for you.
In life, sometimes Allah grants us what we desire, and sometimes He doesn't. It is no indication of His love or care for us at all, because in fact the more He loves someone the more He is going to cultivate their soul in a way that pleases Him most. The obvious means He uses are tests, trials, pain and suffering. Each of these aspects are ways to beautify and strengthen the believer, and helps us to keep our perspective about reality and our purpose here in the dunya. Whatever He keeps from us, it's truly for our own betterment. This is what you have to start remembering when you find yourself focusing on what hasn't gone your way.
When Allah doesn't love someone, or someone persists in disobedience, He sometimes turns them over to their desires. He lets them get whatever they want in this life, but they pay a heavy price for it in the next. If a person finds things going their way most of the time, maybe that's a warning that they are being too prideful and are on a dangerous path. Consider that when you feel upset that you may not have this boy.
Accept whatever is. It seems like things aren't going in the direction of you two being together, so submit to that. If you've made tawbah for the sins you've commited with him, then trust that Allah will guide you to what is best for you and that whatever you are "giving up" on the way is really second best.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As-salamu alaykum Sister Amy,
Masha'Allah you always give such good and sincere advice on this forum, and I pray that Allah rewards you for it and continues to increase you in your knowledge, Ameen.
I have a question regarding what you've written above. I agree wholeheartedly with what you say here:
"In life, sometimes Allah grants us what we desire, and sometimes He doesn't... the more He loves someone the more He is going to cultivate their soul in a way that pleases Him most. The obvious means He uses are tests, trials, pain and suffering. Each of these aspects are ways to beautify and strengthen the believer, and helps us to keep our perspective about reality and our purpose here in the dunya. Whatever He keeps from us, it's truly for our own betterment. This is what you have to start remembering when you find yourself focusing on what hasn't gone your way."
However, whenever I hear/read about the above elsewhere or think about it myself, I wonder about the verse 24:26 in Surat al-Nur that can be translated in the two ways shown below (Allah knows best):
1) Sahih International: Evil words are for evil men, and evil men are [subjected] to evil words. And good words are for good men, and good men are [an object] of good words. Those [good people] are declared innocent of what the slanderers say. For them is forgiveness and noble provision.
2) Pickthall: Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.
Does the above mean that it is guaranteed for us to have good and righteous partners in marriage if we are good/ righteous ourselves? Or are those verses intended for what it will be like in Jannah, insha'Allah... and Allah can also test us by giving us a partner in this world that doesn't make our life easier/happier, etc.?
From what I have read, the interpretation of that ayah is that good men and women should only marry good men and woman, not evil or vile people. And Allah knows best.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Iam a 19yr m, had the same experience. but i dint do any physical relationship. i dint do physical because i know it is a sin. i hardly touch any girl because i know it is a sin. i had a break up and dat was due to me., in some mis understanding, i had a break up. its been more than 2 years and still i pray and wish so that i can get back to her. but hardly ALLAH(SWT) hears me. she is playing game like message some day and dont reply/. i know she is a cheater., den why did ALLAH(SWT) joined us both? doesn't he know better :@ 🙁 ., i know its over.,but still hope and faith.
but recently, i lost hope. i do prayed all the time, wished every time., but nothing happened. iam decieved by the girl and ALLAH(SWT)
and to all those who say, that it is a test/, basta:@ ., i pray you get a test more painful than this.,
only the victim understands.,
still i love ALLAH(SWT) and have hope. and life is not a doctor clinic to wait patiently all the time. life is veryy fast. you guys stop advicing and enjoy your life. just dua for us. lets have patience sister
ALLAH(SWT) bless all
"xxx", what makes you think that Allah joined the two of you together? More likely it was Shaytan or your own nafs. We do not have boyfriends and girlfriends in Islam. If you had prayed Istikhara beforehand, and been guided to this girl by Allah, and married her properly, then you could thank Allah for bringing you together. But you did not do that, did you? You are not a "victim" of anything except your own choices. And now you want to question Allah and His knowledge and wisdom? Astaghfirullah. Furthermore, you wish pain on those who advise you?
You need to make tawbah and ask Allah's forgiveness sincerely for doubting Him, and for wishing harm on others.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Astaghfirullah! Do not wish bad for your Muslim brothers and Sisters. I have experienced worst than what you have described and I agree more than anything that what we go through is truly a test from Allah SWT. I am very thankful to all the advices that I have read because they are a reminder in helping us to get closer to Allah SWT.
All that is happening to us IS from Allah SWT whether you like it or dont and be it good or bad. And in each there is a lesson. The brothers/sisters giving advices here remind us of the fact that it is from Allah SWT and that we should turn to Allah SWT for healing.
Personally I KNOW that I could not have managed if it were not for my belief that Allah SWT is testing me. Like you, I wondered why it hapened to me when all I wanted was a halal marriage. But you must know that everything that comes to us comes from Allah SWT and it comes as a lesson.
A person who finds no way out of a difficult situation illustrates the most poignant example of Allah's generosity and guidance for one of His slaves. After losing all hope in everyone that he turned to for help, he is forced to remember that there is one door that remains open and that he should hope in no one save in Allah, the Exalted. At that point, he feels the chastisement for not having hoped from Allah in the first place, and at that point, aid and relief arrive.
May Allah ease your pain InshaAllah. Ameen
Sister,
I'm only an 18 year old sister, but I think I can give you some good advice. I read your story and I sympathize with you. I am going through the same thing you are going through. Well, I was. I mean I still love him and want to marry him, but it doesn't seem so likely because of some reasons I won't mention. I used to pray and cry my heart out to Allah, and I still do. But I am much more understanding of my situation now.
I want to tell you why this is probably good for you. Going through hardships and pain make you stronger, wiser, and more mature. And those hardships also relief you of your sins. Allah is always watching and listening. He hears you, be sure of that. Even though there are billions of people in this world, Allah never forgets any of us, and we all have a special bond with Him. Remember, the teacher is always silent during a test. Do not think that he forgot about you. Keep praying, keep reading Qur'an, keep up with your dhikr. Do not let go of Allah. And also, pray to Him, make dua to Him for you to get what you desire. And never lose hope. You need to keep remembering that Allah has the power to make the seemingly impossible, to be possible. And dua can always change your fate. Do not think for a second that Allah will not give you what you want, for that is what dua is for. Dua exists so you can establish a strong relationship with your creator. Sure, Allah already knows what you want, but you must ask for it yourself.
Allah knows you're tired. He knows you're frustrated with your situation. He knows how hard it is for you and how much pain you are going through. He knows and understands everything about you than you do yourself. And the only one who can change anything is Him. So keep asking Him, but at the same time, try to find out why it is that the boy's parents don't want you. Also, ask Allah to open the eyes of the boy's parents; to see that you and their son are good for each other. Everyone will get better with dua. Just don't lose hope, and pray with full conviction. Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. Masha Allah you seem like a very pious and religious girl, but please don't let go of Allah. Pray to Him that even if you do let go, that He doesn't let go of you.
With my situation, I have changed dramatically. I am so much more religious now than I was before, and the only reason I know all of this information is because of the heartache that I went through, and am still going through. But I always manage to keep up my hope and keep a smile on my face because I know that Allah will take care of me. I know Allah loves me just by the fact that he put me through this hardship. Let this be a sign that He loves you too. 🙂
As a conclusion, DON'T LOSE HOPE and don't disconnect yourself from Allah, your creator. He knows more than anyone what you are going through. Keep praying and making dua, and get to the bottom of the problem with the boy's parents. But do it in a nice manner that won't upset them. Also, try talking to your parents about it. Go over to the boy's house with your parents and have a well behaved talk with his parents.
And believe me, everything will get better. Keep that smile on your face, and know that Allah will never leave you. 🙂
Everything you have said is nice, but I would disagree with one line.
"Do not think for a second that Allah will not give you what you want, for that is what dua is for".
This is not true. Dua does not give us what we want. It is a form of worship and, yes, as you do say, it brings us closer to Allah. But we get what is destined for us. That is why you shouldn't be so "attached" to the outcome of your dua. Take this from someone who has made dua for her entire life, and generally they don't come true. Not just for myself but I've prayed for my parents and trust me some really sad things have happened to us in the last few years that have been the exact opposite to what I have made dua for.
So the lesson you have to learn is that you do get disappointed and hurt when you are too attached to the outcome of your dua -- and that is what has happened to sister Haszan, the OP, she assumed that by making dua she would get exactly what she wanted. Life is tough and 99% of us do not get what we want.
I understand where you are coming from Precious Star. And I understand that some dua's aren't fulfilled. But I still feel like you should have hope that you will get what you are asking for. Hope is really the only thing that keeps us going. As Muslims, we follow Allah's guidance and we have hope that we will rewarded for the good that we do. You have to keep a positive mindset, because if you don't, and you lose that hope, you will feel as if making dua won't do a thing. There are times when you just feel so down about your situation, as if it will never change, and you just don't care to make dua anymore. And believe me, not having hope really sucks. You just hate life. But having hope kinda stabilizes you and your mind. Personally, if what I wanted was to not be given to me, I would hope that Allah takes care of my heart one way or another and eases the pain. But I'm just trying to lightly explain all this as to not break the sisters heart.
Sometimes when I explain to someone my situation, they immediately say, "get over him", "you're too good for him", "Allah has better plans for you", etc. And I understand all that, but it breaks my heart to hear those things because when you really love someone and want to marry them, it's really hard to swallow these words.
Of course, if you actually don't get what you want, you absolutely shouldn't blame Allah or get upset with Him. Everything happens for a reason and things can turn really ugly if Allah is upset by you.
Hope, full conviction, and consistency in your dua's really does create miracles. It can't hurt to look forward to something good just to keep you going. And if things don't go your way, pray that Allah will make it easy for you and make you happy.
We will definitely be rewarded for everything good that we do, in the hereafter InshaAllah. Our hope is in our salvation, not in getting the things we want. That is the concept of hope from a spiritual perspective. But at your age, when life us still unfolding, I would say keep making dua because you don't know how your life will turn out. It's an open slate. Just don't be tied to a specific outcome. Allah will not give you what you want, but sometimes the destiny He has written for you does indeed coincide with your desires.
I somewhat disagree with what you say about how Allah doesn't give us what we want. Of course he can give us what we want. Sure out lives are already written down and executed as fate, but dua can change your fate. If you ask for something from Allah consistently and continually, He might give it to you because he sees how much you want it. You can also pray that what you want is good for you also. I've prayed for many things that I wanted, but didn't seem that I was going to get them. Then I did. You just have to have faith. Dua is a way to communicate to Allah your needs. Of course you should be grateful for what you have, but it angers me sometimes when people say don't complain about your situation. Be thankful for what you have, but also communicate to Allah what you want, because only He can give it to you.
leyla644: but it angers me sometimes when people say don't complain about your situation
Do you mean people tell you not to complain about your situation to Allah? What makes you angry about that, You can continue to complain about situation day and night or look for a solution.
sister ... first of all never tell your sins openly infront of anyone. if Allah is keeping them secret so who are you to tell them to people. keep them between you and your Allah. Allah takes our tests so that he can purify us. when we are happy we never get close to Allah but as we face any problem we respond to Him and get closer and closer to him so this is a gud thing. i only want you to not to cry infront of any one, but only infront of your Allah. tell Him to solve your problem bcx He only has the power to solve them. you dont have any other option. crying infront of the people doesnt make your problems solve. but they can make Allah angry because He doesnot like complains(shikwa). the only thing you do is to have patience and pray desperatly to Him. Inshallah he will solve your problem.
I was in your position once. In 2011 my bestfriend , soulmate , left me for another girl. I was broken shattered. I did all what u did. Prayed cried begged Allah. I thought my life was over. I was angry I was mad at Allah for not listening to my prayers. Everyone who went for umrah I made them pray for me. Nothing worked. I wasn't getting him back. But then I started praying that I get over him. To make this pain go away. To help me as even when I was over him I used to dream about him and the pain would start all over again. I felt like this pain would be permanent. But guess what ? It's 2015 now. I met someone who proposed to me. who really liked me. I didn't like him much but the more I talked to him the more everything made sense. I sensed he's the one Allah chose for me. He brought me closer to islam. He respected me so much. He was honest. He was understanding. He brought the best out of me. It took 4 years to realize that Allah intended this to happen for me. Allah is the best planner. You need to be patient and keep praying. For as we may like something that's not good for us and we may not like something that's good for us and Allah knows what's best for us. Trust
Me about this. It takes time. Allah tests us in different ways. Allah tests only those whom he loves. Try to be positive and thankful. Be patient. Allah will show u one day that maybe that boy wasn't good for u. Maybe his parents wouldn't be the best Inlaws and where u end up will be much better inshAllah.
It's a human tendency to fall in the trap of shaytan. But to not repent to allah is our loss. Keep repenting till death. Don't calculate how much you did if allah starts accounting we would be at loss. Allah knows what you feel and surely allah knows what will be the future. Hold on to your faith don't lose hope in allah. This life is a test, you struggle and remain steadfast on the path of Islam you will be rewarded with jannah! Inshallah
The best thing about jannah you get what you want without and limitations.
why do you think so many muslims are struggling around the world, Allah wants to reward everyone with jannah. Don't lose yourself to shaytan!
If suppose you marry this guy and then he passes away in few days will you again blame allah and keep yourself away from allah? When we know we are headed towards death. Think wise and if you don't want to marry it's your choice. Allah gave you the the rights. It's up to you. Yes, Life is difficult it's how you remain steadfast in difficulties.
Get attached to allah no matter what happens surely there will be goodness in akhirah!
Please do not blame Allah for the sins you had done. I would like to comment on your situation as you shared it publically and seeking for some solution.
As per your story, the guy likes you in past. But when you has phyical relationship and he get use to your body, actually he get what he want after mariage. In fact, it looks he has end up with you and now he wants a new sensation. I am a male. I know when a male wachtes a women body in nude, sex with her and utilize her without marraige, most likely he would like to find a new women for marraige to have a new entertainment. I know it happens. I am a male and i know nature of male. There is no way, his parents are creating trouble for marraige. He is leying with you. What happened to his parents when he proposed first. All are lame excuses. The truth is, he enjoyed, played with your body and now his heart is satisfied. He must be seeking new partner now because he is bored with you.
Now about your prayers and complaints to Allah. It is mad thinking that Allah had to blame and you do not love Allah for his personal attitude. Who left you? Allah or He. Do not think like this. You should say to Allah please forgive me for my sins. I will never see face of pig.
Now what you can do. It is clear you love him a lot. But unfortunately currently he do not love you. It is one sided love. One sided love some time becomes life one of greatest curse. You need to understand
- he doe not love you.
- he is leying about his parent problems even if he showed you some evidence. Actually he also do not want to marry you.
- You are fucked
- He is looking for another partner for marraige stuff.
- Forget him and start a new life. It is hard but thats the only way out. It does not mean having physical with another guy. Situation will get worse. Just stop now any haram activity at any cost.
Im sick from so many days ....hving so many medicines so many Duas talking to Allah y I'm nt getting releif
Not getting relief after a lot of trying could be due to a hardened heart from sins. You should purify your heart first and then apply the remedy and you will find relief.
I want to repend all my sins small big bad ....how shud i please Allah ...he forgives me n I know he has forgiven me ..open doors for me of hope
A true taubah is one where you identify the cause of the sin in your heart and completely fix it, so as to not commit that sin in the future when tested again.