Please ALLAH, save me from this sin
I have no idea how to ask this; I'm feeling very embarrassed. I'm 22 years old, and I have this habit of imagining tht I'm having sex (thinking that I'm someone's wife, or some girl in the west, and giving myself to so many different imaginary identities). Somtimes I also masturbate while imagining.
I don't do this round the year. When I come back home for vacations I do this. Sometimes every night for a week, somtimes just once during vacation. I do this for 5-6 min and then I feel bad that I'm doing sin, then I make a promise that I won't do it again but after some months I do it again. Please advice me something to get rid of it.
-robinblue
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Being a man, I know many men get into this fantasy thing.
One good way to stop this is to get married so your sexual needs will be fulfilled. You have to figure out a way to stop this. If this becomes a habit it may continue even after you get married.
Try not be alone during day time.
Having sexual thoughts is NOT a sin. In fact, having sexual thoughts at your age is very normal, it means you have a healthy sex drive.
Sexual behaviour with another person who is not your spouse IS a sin.
At so called mot precious star ; do not promote people towards son by saying having a sexual thought intentionally is not a sin., because myself being a researcher in neuroscience , I can assure you that your limbic system in the brain get habitual and you wont feel content by the same amount which you had last time to make you relaxed.
Intentionally if you fantasize then you are addicted slow and steadily and SURELY END UP DOING zinah so , i advise the girl who wrote this question to first cut the root which lead you to imagine things,, fast for two days as rasul saws said that if you cant get married then fast as it will lower the sexual urge.
Assalam o alaykum wr wb
So are you saying that having any type of sinful thought is equal to a sin?
It was my understanding that if you don't act upon the sin, it is not a sin. At least the sister does not have to feel guilty for thinking and can feel normal. It is not impossible to stop the waswasa's--it is more a matter of how to combat them.
Please do not mock her, by the way. I am sure your intention is good, brother. She is Precious as she is our Muslim sister.
It is not inevitable that she will do zina. Instead, she may be more inclined to take active steps towards finding a husband.
I know many girls who have refrained frm zina their in tire lives, myself included -- regardless of your research.
Also, she gets these thoughts at certain times only, which suggests to me that they are occurring at times when her hormonal levels are elevated -- in all likelihood, durning those times when she is ovulating. Do your research -- ovulation is usually accompanied by an increase in libido.
Assalamoalikum,
Once you are addicted to some thing it takes lot of time to get rid of that bad habit .Due to these kind of fantasies people won't enjoy their married life as it will look less exciting .
Try maximum to avoid these .Don't be under the impression that it is OK as suggested by others in this forum.
Allah hafiz
OP is saying sometimes she gets desire to do it every night and during vacation time. It may be she has more privacy during vacation time. I do agree her desire may be hightened close to ovulation time.
In some cultures people believe a girl will not be able to control her sexual desires after puberty. In these cultures millions of girls are subjected to FMG to keep them virgins before marriage.
Salam,
Its not illegal to think bad thoughts but it is highly discouraged because it leads to haram action. Be careful brother Robinblue. Also consider that you are at the right age range to get married, and you may want to ask your family to help you find a nice western muslimah to help you fulfil your deen and your urges. In that order.
Please remember that when searching for a wife there must be an appropriate amount of public interaction. Getting into a relationship before marraige is haram.
But with all that said, dont feel bad about yourself. Just distract yourself when you feel those thoughts coming to you, and surely Allah swt knows that you are trying to erase such thoughts.
I believe the OP is female.
She writes:
Assalam alaikum Sister,
I suggest that you read thoroughly the information found on the following link:
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/masterbating-15-years/
Salaams,
In an ideal world, no one would have sexual thoughts unless they were married and thinking strictly about their spouse. We all know how rare this is.
In reality, people have sexual thoughts about all kinds of stuff- even some of the most heinous and perverted things one could imagine.
Sister, I don't know how possible it will before you to NEVER think about sex again until your nikkah. I don't know anyone who has been able to do that, and I sure haven't myself. While that's a goal you should aspire to, I don't think you should beat yourself up if you fail. We all fail, and we all are not the worst because we sin. We are supposed to sin.
That being said, I would advise you that if you do find yourself thinking about sex, it's better to imagine yourself as being married to some imaginary person whom you don't know and have never seen in real life, than it is to imagine being a 'dunya western girl' having sex with multiple partners. This is just my opinion, as I personally feel it's better to imagine something that would be halal in real life than something that would be haraam in real life.
In addition, I personally feel as well that it is more detrimental to fantasize about someone you actually know or have seen, than someone you made up in your head. The reason for this is because there is more potential for fitna if the person you are fantasizing about really exists, than if they do not.
We all do the best we can, sister. I personally am of the opinion that masturbation is not a sin if it is done infrequently, without fantasizing about someone haraam to you, without porn, without interfering with your duties and obligations (dunya and spiritual), and because it is keeping your from greater temptations. And Allah knows best.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
it's better to imagine yourself as being married to some imaginary person whom you don't know and have never seen in real life, than it is to imagine being a 'dunya western girl' having sex with multiple partners
One thing will lead to other . You might try to think about some one's wife at the beginning but slowly will end up in fantasing about lot of other haram things.
Masturbation is better than Zina in extreme cases but your suggestion should be to get out of the bad habits or at least it should reduce this habit .Please don't suggest new ideas for fantasy like you have suggested above .
There are several situations in your position.
1- It is not sin. Having thoughts of sex in your mind. It is natural. After puberty, of course your body will send signals to you that she is ready to have fun.
The problem is because you don't have physical one, your brain tries to satisfy your Man need with probably the men images you see near by, neighbor, movie star or something.
And actually this is very important part of the Exam which is called life.
We believers, to prove that we are honest, sacrifice these kind of strong urges. Until we get married.
Allah be with you of course it is not easy.
On the other hand it is not sin except you act. This is very important even if your eyes say something to someone believe me it is sin and forbidden by Allah ( Nûr 31 )
But having those feelings in you and being patient and not act, is good deed. And be rewarded by Allah. We are not angels...
important addition:
if there is a man eligible for marriage and if you want to marry him (not commit zina) ofcourse you can send message (that you like him) with your eyes, it is also not forbidden.
However you have to really be carefull because nowadays, even in İslamic countries, men are inclined to get messages "this girl is ready for action" instead of getting it "This girl loves me, I can marry her"
I just want you to be very careful and I want to finish my message with an ayah
This message orginally posted to wives of our Prophet however it is global message for women:
Ahzab 32: .... be not too complacent (enticing) of speech, because a person whose heart has a disease (immorality and lust) may act against you with desire.
Asalamo Alaikum my brothers and sisters
As other members mentioned in this post that once you become addicted to it, it becomes very difficult to come out of it.
They are 100% correct. It is very difficult but it is not IMPOSSIBLE. There are many cases where people had to fight very hard against this evil with the help of Allah. And there are plenty of success stories.
My advice for you is that,
* Make a strong commitment, that Insha'Allah I will not do it.
* Always Repent to Allah, never be ashamed of asking repentance even if you have done it again.
* Because you are still alive, Allah wants you to repent and come back to him. (otherwise you will be dead, immediately after doing it) Allah even replaces our bad deeds with good deeds because of sincere repentance.
* But if unfortunately, you have ended up doing it again and again. Then make a *rule in your life* of offering 10 or 20 or 30 rakats of optional prayers, or paying £50 or £100 in charity. (whatever you are not capable of doing easily)
* So that next time you come near this SIN, you might think about the extra worship you will have to do, or the money you will have to give in chairty, will ultimately distract your thoughts and will calm you down. Insha Allah.
We should do more GOOD DEEDS outweigh our BAD DEEDS.
It worked for me so far. (After being addicted for 15 year). May Allah SWT give you strength and accept your repentance.
Ameen
assalamu alaikum,
whenever you get such idea, do a wudu and start praying nafl or start saying dhikr continuously for few minutes to seek refuge in allah to help you. Allah swt knows the best and guide us the best