Is it wrong for me to ask Allah to be blessed with a baby boy?
Last year I had a misccarriage, and the baby boy was born in the fifth month of pregnancy. He only lived for an hour, but Allah made him so beautiful that I can't get him out of my head. It has been months, but every single day I remember him and not even one single day has gone by where I haven't thought about him. I am also very proud that my son has gone directly to jannat!
I am now pregnant again mashallah, and just reached 5 months mashallah. I keep thinking that I am going to have him and that the baby will look like him, but what if it's a girl? I want to get him out of my head and start believing this is a different baby, but my mind keeps going back to him! Is it wrong if I pray for a boy? His face is just always in my mind, how do I stop thinking about him and start looking forward to our new baby, inshallah?
-advice
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Praying for a healthy baby will be better for you, plus when the child is born sometimes they look similar you wont tell the difference. Theirs nothing wrong in thinking about your son, afterall he will always be your baby. For some reason the first child always be's the most loved. So dont worry once your child is born you will be the happiest mother and your attention/love will be for your new child. Untill then its okay to keep thinking about your son. Whatever Allah(swt) blesses you with be happy.
peace..
AsSalaamu Alaikum sister,
I am sorry to hear about your previous lost. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you with a wonderful baby, that will be a devout servant of Allah. Ameen!
It is not wrong for you to ask Allah to be blessed with a baby boy, however, I personally think doing it indirectly is better. For example, you make a general du'a for a good child, but in your heart you know what you want, and Allah knows best what you want, as He Knows what is best for a baby, in a particular situation.
Hazrat Hannah, the mother of maryam, prayed to Allah and expected for a male indirectly, but Allah blessed her with a female that was better than the male she was expecting, and she named her Maryam/Mary. However, Hazrat Maryam gave birth to the type of male Hazrat Hannah was expecting for, and he was named the Messiah, Issah, son of Maryam...
Perhaps, each baby (boy or girl) has its own time, so you should bear in mind that Allah subhanah wa ta'ala Knows best, and therefore we say Alhamdulillah for any condition we may be in.
Maybe, you should ponder on the below ayats and grasp the wisdom of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, which could take volumes of books if explained here.
MasAllah what a beautiful answer
Assalaamualaikam
MashaAllah, that's a lovely answer, brother. JazakAllah khair.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
MashAllah that was a beautiful answer
Salaams
It is natural for you to feel the way you do and I completely understand your pain, you will never forget your son but you can learn to live now being positive inshAllah. My older brother and his wife went through a similar issue sister in law lost her baby boy because of the cord wrapped around the neck and ulhumdiallah that soul returned to a baby boy. They didn't care what was born next as it was a surprised they were expecting again after 4 months in hands of Allah it happened MasAllah. InshAllah it will be a healthy baby for you too and pray as much as you can with sincere to Allah. May Allah give you all the happiness you deserve and it is a baby boy InshAllah.
Assalaamualaikam
I'm so sorry for your loss, sister. The pain of losing a child is... well, heartbreaking. May Allah grant comfort to brothers and sisters who face this, and if He wills, may the families be reunited in Jannat.
Your son will always be part of your life, and you can inshaAllah find comfort that for him, there will be no pain and suffering in this dunya - instead, he is in Jannat with the other children of Jannat. InshaAllah, you can be reunited with him there, after the Day of Judgement.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has blessed you with another child. This child isn't a replacement or a copy of your son - no child can replace another - but will be a brother or sister of your son, even though they have never known him. When they get older, inshaAllah, you can tell them about their big brother, who has gone ahead to Jannat - if you have pictures or mementos, you can show them those, so that they can get to know him a little, and he will be part of their life as well as yours.
Sometimes, parents who have lost a child can worry that having another child might mean they forget the child who died, or that they might not be able to feel the same for another child. But each soul, each child, is unique - loving your new baby (whether a boy or a girl) will be a separate, unique love - just for them, and neither will be diminished by this.
If you feel overwhelmed by your feelings about the babies, it might help to speak to a counsellor or other mothers who have had similar experiences. Maybe speak to your family doctor or local maternity unit to see if they can point you towards any local resources for this?
May Allah watch over you and your unborn child, may He ease your burdens, and may He watch over your son in Jannat.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Salaam, ur baby that passed away will take u 2 jannah inshallah, I don't think their is anything wrong with asking Allah 4 a baby boy, May Allah bless u with loads of happiness, Ameen!, I know u will never forget ur baby but when ur new baby comes in2 this world u will be very happy inshallah!