Parents not agreeing to marriage with a Bengali girl.
Assalam O Alaikum,
I am a 24 year Tamil Muslim guy working in India. I recently met a Bengali girl through internet who is 21 year old. I liked her as she is beautiful and has interest in religion and then we decided to get married. My family is not allowing me to marry her of language difference and due to the fact that we live quite far from each other. We have known each other for just a few months and can’t say we are both in love but we like and respect each other.
I am very confused whether to marry her or not as she told me that she had a boyfriend for 3 years before she met me. She found out that her boyfriend was having sexual relationship with other girls as well and then she broke-up with him. Since we had known each other for just a few months I couldn’t understand her character fully. When I went through her Orkut (social website like face book) profile, I found out that she wasn’t very strict with the guys. She chatted with them casually and even gave her number to one of the guy. She did these things before meeting me. After seeing her Orkut profile, we had a fight and she told me that she is not using that website anymore after realising that there are many guys who just flirt with girls.
Whenever, I remember that she had an affair before me, I feel sad and upset about it. So, could someone advise me what should I do? If I stand for her then my parents will allow me to marry her but I am in a confused state of mind and don’t know what to do? Should I spend some more time with her over the phone and get to know her properly; should I wait for my parents to decide after they meet her or should I leave her because of the distance between us and language problems that my parents will face with her? I can speak Hindi, Tamil and English and she speaks Hindi, Bengali and English but my parents are worried that they won’t be able to communicate with her in Tamil. However, she has promised me that she will treat my family with respect and will learn Tamil language soon.
I hope to get a good answer to my problem Insha Allah.
Tagged as: anger, Can I marry her?, Caste Issues, Culture Clash, feelings, haraam relationship, In Love, internet love, internet relationship, Islamic Answers 2011, Marriage, online relationship, Parents behaviour problem, parents preventing marriage, Premarital relationship, Racism, sin and repentance, tamil guy marrying bengali girl, Unanswered questions