Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My in-laws do black magic on me and my husband

I have been married to my husband for 25 years. It was an arranged marriage, and my parents chose him because they heard he was a good man.

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However, he only cares about his family. When we got married, he never spoke to me, and he abused me mentally. I was young, so I always tried hard to please him, but he used to insult me in front of others and his own family, and together they would all insult me together.  He yelled at me all the time.

He would come home from work, eat, then sleep, and he wouldn't talk to me at all, and would forbid me from going to visit our neighbours or anyone, while he would go visit some married woman every afternoon. When I asked him to stop, he said he'd go even more.

He insulted my parents. He didn't buy me anything. When I had an operation after giving birth, he would go to the hospital and visit some other woman instead.

On the other hand, he listens to whatever his family says. They all ridicule me together. One day, I was told by an Imam  that black magic was being done on me by his family so that he would hate me. I used to always get sick suddenly, and the man told me it was a jinn. Several cases like this have happened.

I found pieces of my sari cut out, or extra black or white thread sewn in. On my marriage day, they sacrificed a cow, that they have been raising just for his marriage day. They made me drink with a broken glass. They recently sent me a quilt, and when I said it's too hot to use it, my mother-in-law said that we didn't need to use it, it just needed to be in the house.

I went to sleep crying so many times and he doesn't care. He forced me to carry all his luggage while I was pregnant so his sisters wouldn't have to. My parents know, and so does my sister, but we didn't tell anyone else. No one would believe us. We used to live next to a train track. There were times I felt like walking out onto the tracks as soon as I heard a train coming, but my children were still little. He denies everything I say and instead tries to turn my kids against me, and laughs at me. Thank Allah they understand my pain at least.

I already know it is black magic. 25 years of proof have shown me this. He is wonderful to other people, but despises me. I don't divorce him, because I thought he would be better. It is the same. Recently, my son has moved out, and my daughter has almost finished high school, so I am thinking of a separation, but I want to know if there is anything I can do.

Are there any duas I can say, or anything? Please, I really need advice. I pray five times a day, I read Surah Yasin and others every day, I do extra namaz, i read Aytul Kursi 100 times every day.

- Lamppost


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11 Responses »

  1. Sister, at what point do you take responsibility for your own choices?

    I doubt very much that your in-laws have been sitting around for 25 years doing black magic on your husband and you. What would be the point? It's much more likely that your husband is simply an unfaithful, abusive jerk.

    You say that he's wonderful with others, and that's your evidence. But this is common. Many abusive husbands are charming with other people. The wife is the one that they have "power" over and that's where their sadistic side comes out.

    I know it's hard to admit that you gave a large chunk of your life to an unloving, abusive man. It's easier to look around for external causes, like black magic, so that you don't have to face the reality that your husband is no good, and don't have to deal with your own choice to stay with him all these years.

    It takes a lot of courage to leave, even to leave a bad situation. It takes bravery to face the unknown. Some people find it easier to stay in abusive relationships, and that's sad.

    If you stay because you think someone is doing magic, and somehow the magic will end and after 25 years your husband will turn into another person, you are fooling yourself.

    I realize that you were young when you married him, and maybe you did not have the voice, or the courage, or authority to speak up, or to take action to leave him. But you've been married for 25 years. You are not a young girl anymore. If this man abuses you and makes you miserable, leave him. No one is forcing you to stay. The man cheats on you, ridicules you and shows no love. Face the facts: he's a bad man and a bad husband. Leave him. It's long overdue.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Dear sister.
      People do bad things.but god is above all. There is no power above god u call it allah i call it raam or jesus.but wait and watch people hurting u will have a bad end but they will spoil ur present...wait.pray.be confident to say no to all things u dont like....if they pressurize u then kick of this relation......sometimes we can live life the way we want...look at me its been 4 years of marriage.me and my wife love each other.our parents love us...they r supportive..but we r still deprived of being parents...some black magic has been done on both of us...medically all test are fine...only god knows when he will bless us...preachers say my wifes utreus has been locked.....i also think so but when god is there then no worryz......may god (allah raam jesus guru nanak) bless all the mankind and give them patience.i think i deviated from topic but...still i want u to b patient and wait.. And prayyyyyyyyyyyy...Aapka khuda aapko jaroor khushion se nawaajega.aamin

      • brother anoop just wanted to let you know few things. .

        a Muslim is a one who submits his will to ALLAH. .

        ALLAH is the Arabic word for "God." Whenever Muslims mention ALLAH, they are simply referring to the one true God.

        Just read on the following
        _______________________________________________
        Bhagavad Gita 7:20

        "Those whose intelligence has been stolen by material desires surrender unto demigods and follow the particular rules and regulations of worship according to their own natures."

        "He is One only without a second."
        [Chandogya Upanishad 6:2:1]

        "Of Him there are neither parents nor lord."
        [Svetasvatara Upanishad 6:9]

        The following from the Upanishad about the inability of man to imagine God in a particular form:

        "His form is not to be seen; no one sees Him with the eye."
        [Svetasvatara Upanishad 4:20]
        _______________________________________
        and there are many more. .

        i would want you to research on Islam and know the truth. . inshaALLAH may ALLAH guide you towards the truth. .

        I dont not know what these things i am saying to u would mean; u may just ignore them but just try. .

        here is a link to a video. . do watch it. .

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7CjqwR7XMI&feature=fvsr

        and do reply. .

  2. As-salamualaikum
    sister, i was raised in the west and thought that who really has time to do black magic?
    i had all the symptoms and everything but i still to this day believe it could be just coincidence.
    it was only after some of my husband's family arrived ( i can pick up personalities, especially wicked ones) that i have a real fear of one of the women(not my mil). she is extremely jealous. and knows someone who she claims showed her siblings witches and evil creatures. in terms of in-law behavior, i have been through almost the same thing as you, but not as bad i guess. i am literally afraid of her, but not seeing anything with my eyes to prove her black magic, i give her a fifty fifty chance.
    what helped me?
    you have to get your husband around good company.
    you have to figure out a way to get him and you away from his family.
    you have to make dua, and pray and cry at night.
    you have to read quran every single day in your house, this is very important.
    you have to recite surah fatiha, and the last three surahs three times on yourself. this is called damm or ruqiyah or i don't know the exact way i guess.
    i think some of our men very easily and heavily get influenced by their family on how to treat their wives, negatively.
    the same woman i mentioned before, she told me that she and her family intentionally say negative things about her brother's wife to her brother so that he doesn't think too highly of her! she complains he spends time/money on her! he favors her! she thinks her complains and behavior is valid, which is sad. see how such women influence their brothers/sons to mistreat their wives.
    i also think 25 years is a long long time. as far as my knowledge is, if he hasn't changed or gotten sense by now, then there is less chance things will get better. people like this generally get worse as they age.
    you know him better and you know the answers, you know your rights as well. justice is part of our belief.

  3. Asalamu walkium,

    sister when u seriously had a probs then y dint u discuss this with u r parents and ask them a remedy coz when u married him. U said it wasnt a love marriage so all the people around u would help u out with this and more over take a support of u r childrens coz a mans biggest strenght is his childrens i am dam sure that they will help u out. If u want duas for particular things then u have to log out Islam.com there r anourmous duas on this.

    May allah give u the strenght

    take care.

  4. I have a good example for you but I want to proove something first (for people who think that this is rubbish). I am South African born (english), I married a Turk and moved to Turkey. I have had endless problems especially with my brothers wife. I never believed in "black magic" or "nazar" before, now many years down the line I listen to my "inner self" and this is for everybody who does not live in the world of Islam....I am telling you that this lady is definetly 1. telling the truth and 2. (whether you want to believe it or not) what she says is correct...... Yes there is a dua, please use the "nazar dua". I am western so I will give very good advise my dear. do your nazar dua and secondly, spoil your husband rotten, with what you may ask??? Lots of food and lots of sex, beautify yourself, sit next to him when you can, try and make him laugh, offer to wash his back, there are many things. Yes it hurts I know all about it, but I can tell you that after 15 years of marriage my sister in law hasnt stopped chewing her fucking bone, but I have already won, and so can you (if you dont want to get divorced), whatever you find on your sari or quilts etc, throw them out, then politely say there were bugs on them or say whatever you want.......... even better give them to somebody else in the family saying "we have more than we need, please you take this beautiful quilt"....lets see what happens. The western world would never believe anything like this..... nor did I......I wish you well in everything you do.

  5. Thank you brothers and sisters for all your kind advice. It has really helped me. Inshallah, it will go well.

    • As salamu alaykum, Lamppost,

      I read your story and the comments and I would like to share something with you; I know a woman who was highly envy for his in laws all her marriage life, her husband was bad to her, almost inexistent to the children and marvellous for the door of the house outside, and, he cheated on her all their life together, when the children grew up, and had their own life, their relationship turned really bad and she realized, she has stood there all her life for her children, and now they weren´t there , she had to admit the couple didn´t have anything at all in comun, she didn´t love him enough to keep the couple together, in fact, she had to go through all the steps, don´t believe this had happened to me, looking for a guilt one, rage, hat, even depression. They divorced. It is not nice to see a family split, but when the situation sounds as you described it,.... you are the one to really say if you admit his unkind behaviour towards you or not. It is not healthy believe that others have so much power to cause us damage. He is who he is, he decides to be who he is, with the intensity of your prayers I think it is just he is that way.

      Alhamdulillah, I´ve learnt that to pray it is to go with Allah(swt), is a holy time where we go to be Him, to show Him our Respect, our Love, our Surrender ... and just doing that we have so much in exchange. You need to know you are protected, not by doing 100 ayat al-kursi, because it is not the Love for Him what moves you to do it, it is your fear of being damaged by others. Fear is darkness. Please, pray in an attitude of Love, Forgiveness, Compasion, ... you will see everything as it is, and you will be able to take the right decisions moved by the right feelings, insha´Allah.

      I hope you don´t mind I shared this with you, your sweetness and your kind Heart have touched my Heart deeply. You deserve to be the best you can be and be surrounded by the best you can get, insha´Allah.

      All my unconditional Love and Respect,

      María

  6. In the middle East, many people believe in the evil eye or spells that can be cast on a happy marriage.

    But I can tell you one thing for sure: If you or your husband are at fault, nobody can be made

    responsible apart from the two of you. It is superstition to believe in the power of others, we have

    power over ourselves and our actions and your husband is at fault - very clearly. Not the in-laws, just

    him. My Mom called me years ago when my husband's relatives arrived and told me that I shouldn't

    eat from the sweets they brought me as they could have casted a spell on them. Isn't that primitive?

    Maybe in-laws often don't like the daughter in law and backbite her, but hey, why should we give

    them so much power? Nobody can bewitch anyone or cast a spell on anyone- the only way people

    can destroy our relationships is with their actions- and we don't have to let them.

    So leave him and don't blame the in-laws.

  7. I know how it´s like. I have similar situation. Although I am not a muslim but I believe in metaphysic. I know that many people doesn´t believe in magick but I do. Everything is energy. Evil eye is one potent one when someone wishing you ill. So don´t tell her "how has the time to do black magick"? Many people who are corrupt at heart and know how to do it, they have time I can guarantee you that!!

    Just because it doesn´t happen to you doesn´t mean it doesn´t exist! That´s why I studies metaphysic in a ble for me to understand it and know how to protect myself from it!!

  8. Dear Sister,
    I don't know if you're still with your husband or divorced him, but I still would like to answer your question so that anyone else in a similar situation could read and benefit from it. First of all, if you're not sure if you should be with him or leave him, read 2 raka' Salat ul Istikhara and then read the Dua for Istikhara (you can find it in supplication books or online) and then ask ALLAH to guide you. Be very humble and cry in front of our Creator and ask HIM to lead you to the right path. After this, you don't have to wait for a dream or anything, leave everything on ALLAH and InshaAllah HE will make the best decision for you.
    For the other problem that you have (black magic), only ALLAH knows if your in laws have done it, but the cure is read what you have been reading, include Surah Falaq , Surah Nas and Surah Ikhlas AND please read Surah Baqra EVERYDAY. I know it's long but trust me sister, if you have a illness the doctor would give you medicine and no matter what you will take it, right? This is your medicine , read it everyday for marital problems, income problems or any problems that you may have, read Surah Baqra everyday. Also try to read Astaghfar a lot, whatever you're doing, cooking or cleaning, keep reading Astaghfar . Don't lose your faith in our Lord and read everything with strong Eman , like you know ALLAH will help you. May ALLAH make your life easier on you and reward you for all your sufferings in the Aakhirah InshaAllah!

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