Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man if she controls the family?
Alsalam, I'd like to start by thanking you for your time and consideration for my question. My question is as following - i truly much hope you can guide me and answer my concerns:
Part 1: Is it allowed in Islam for a Muslim woman to marry a Christian man? If the non-Muslim man acknowledges the Prophet Mohammed (asws) as the final prophet and Islam as the last completing religion, and prophet Issa (asws) is Allah's messenger and not his son, is that enough without the need to convert to Islam? If the Muslim woman has the sole control of raising and directing the family?
Part 2: If the non-Muslim man converts, how would he deal with his non-Muslim family, parents and relatives? What if he has kids from a former marriage who are Christians as well - how would he deal with them? how would these kids fit with his Muslim kids?
Please advise - jazak Allah (swt) khairan.
- Diljah from Canada
Dear Diljah, Wa alaykum as salamu wa rahmatullah,
1. It is not allowed for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. Period. That is Allah's decree, not mine.
2. In what family does the woman have the sole control and direction of the family? That is not realistic.
3. If the man converts to Islam, he would deal with his non-Muslim family the same as always, as his family. They are still his family and his loved ones. His relationship with them should not change and in fact he should become even closer with them, since Islam values the family ties very highly. If his non-Muslim children live with them, they can continue to do so. If they are older and they choose not to accept Islam, that is their right, and does not have to affect the Muslim children in the family or their practice of Islam.
4. And as I mentioned in my comments below, if the woman does indeed have sole control and direction over the family, then that is not a healthy, functional family. A marriage is a cooperative in which the husband and wife both have unique functions, and work together at the same time. No single partner should have total control over the family.
5. In fact,. a family in which the man has sole control and direction of the family is also unhealthy. The whole point of the marriage is that it is a partnership. Each partner has a unique role to play. The woman is not just a machine for cleaning and making babies. She has an intellect, a spirit and a heart. Those qualities were given to her by Allah, who intended her to use them.
In Islam each partner has a role to play. In a way you could say that the man is the head, while the woman is the heart. Each is necessary for the family's survival. But the head must consult the heart, and the heart must consult the head. They work together.
And Allah knows best.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.
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Tagged as: controlling woman, dominant woman, Marrying a non-muslim, non-muslim husband