Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can dua change what is written? Can I get my husband back?

Dua and Qadr (predestination) are both a part of Allah's plan

Dua and Qadr (predestination) are both a part of Allah's plan

Question:

I'm a 21 year old female.

I need to know few things...

If it is said that everything is written about what and when things will happen, then what about dua?

I had broke up with my husband, I loved the most. He cheated and is with someone else now, its been over a year almost.

Now I prayed and prayed that he comes back and loves me and that things work out, as he is all the sukoon and love I need. I prayed, I know that he is not a loyal man but thats how he is made I guess. But won't duas change things if he is not good for me, or does not have interest in me, ALLAH accepts my duas and make my wishes come true and good for me. I have this idea, whatever ALLAH Almighty does is for the better but can't duas get me what.  I'm happy in and make that thing good for me?.  Or whatever is written is written?

I have faith in ISLAM.
But astrology and numerology readings, what about these things??? They are true most of the times?

What should I do?.  If I want something and no its not in my kismat, I don't want to make ALLAH angry by asking Him again again which HE showed me is not good for me ..  I'm depressed and have attempted suicide because I couldn't take the pain.

- Sasha

Sister Z Answers:

Dear Sister Sasha, As-salamu alaykum wa Rahmatullah,

I think you already know the answer to your question...

I can see that you are hurting alot since your husband has cheated on you and left you. You actually deserve better sister. You brought up several issues and I will address them one by one, Insha'Allah:

DUA IS ALWAYS ANSWERED:

We ask Allah for what we want open heartedly because He knows what is best for us. Allah will most definitely answer your dua, but it may not be as you expected. Do not limit your vision my dear. Allah answers prayers in the most amazing of ways...

  • - He may give you exactly what you want.
  • - He may not give you exactly what you want because He wants to give you something better in this life.
  • - Or He may not give you exactly what you want because He is saving you from a calamity and will give you your gift in the hereafter...

Ask Allah to give you what is good for you and then put your trust in Him. You see - Allah has given us humans the ability to make decisions. These decisions are best made when we use the experiences that Allah has put us through. Making such calculated decisions means we are using the Wisdom that Allah has blessed us with.

Alternately, if we ignore the warnings and signs that Allah has clearly placed before our eyes and we make a decision based on our whims and desires, then we are being Fools.

The facts are: . This man has cheated on you and its been over a year since he left you.. So maybe Allah is saving you from being hurt again and is now testing your patience and faith in Him

SUICIDE IS A MAJOR SIN:

You have attempted suicide - Sis this is very serious. You have attempted to cause harm to yourself for someone, this would only suggest that your feelings for him have become an extremely unhealthy obsession. Furthermore, suicide is a major sin in Islam. By committing suicide you would be displeasing Allah...why? Because you can't bear to live without a man who has cheated on you.

When your love for someone or something takes you out of the boundaries of Islam - then there is something majorly wrong with that love or your emaan has fallen extremely weak.

For this issue dear Sister, I would advise you, to seek some professional help and pray to Allah to clear your mind/heart and to give you peace.

ASTROLOGY ONLY MISLEADS PEOPLE:

Sis, Allah (SWT) has clearly stated in the Quran and through the hadith of our Prophet (saw) that astrology is haraam.

The Qur'an says, "No soul knows what it will earn tomorrow"¦" (Luqman: 34) The Prophet (saw) said, "Do not associate with the astrologers [as-hab an-nujum]." (Reported by Ahmad) and furthermore The Prophet (saw) cursed people who practice fortune-telling.

Sister, astrologers are only able to mislead those without true knowlegde. Only Allah knows what will happen; HE discloses some of this information to His angels and while they are excitedly discussing this information in the heavens, the bad jinn try to eavesdrop. The angels chase the jinn away from the heavens but by this point some of them have already heard bits and pieces of what is to come in the future. So the knowledge that the astrologers aquire is not through their ability to see the future, it is simply through their connection with bad jinn - who also mix some of this truth with falsehood. So Sis, please do not mix yourself up with thoughts of astrology and numerology - there is no place for it in Islam and will only cause you grief.

Dear Sister, if Allah brings this man back into your life - deal with it then. But for now focus on re-building your self esteem as you may not realise now, but you do deserve alot better. Count your blessings, seek comfort in the fact that Allah has saved you from a man who has cheated you, engage yourself in worship of Allah and spend time with family and good friends who love you and care for you.

Implore Allah:

  • to forgive you your sins and especially for attempting suicide
  • thank Him for giving you a second chance to live
  • ask Him to strengthen your emaan
  • to facilitate what is best for you and to make you accept it happily...
  • and Sister...seek help in realising your self importance and self worth. You don't need negative, cheating people in the beautiful life that Allah has given you. Life is a gift from Allah, cherish it, don't waste it.

A beautiful dua for you to say: "Oh Allah, sustain me with Your love and the love of one who loves You, and the love of that which will draw me near to Your Love and make Your Love more dear to me than cool water." (Bukhari)

If you wish to speak to me further, just say so and I will email you inshaAllah.

May Allah help you and make you happy in the company of those who are beloved to Him.

And Allah knows best.

If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, I invite you to post your comments below.

(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.

Best regards,. - Sister Z, Editor
IslamicAnswers.com Marriage Advice


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144 Responses »

  1. asalamu alaikum,

    sister life must been hard for you, just to say by reading dua doesnt mean you will get everything you want, it is true everything has been written down for us and we cant change anything but by reading dua and ask allah swt to help you and guide you in duya and akhira that will be more better for you, okay maybe you might not be able to get your husband back but allah swt will replace him with someone better, so i suggest you read a lot of quran, pray and have patience inshallah things should work out.

    one more thing sis you mentioned you attempted suicide? please sis dont use this as a resort since we are all destined to die there is no need to rush to our deaths, if you believe in the hear after then you will know about the punishment of the grave and the torment of hell fire, since you still alive take this chance to pray to save you from the torment of the grave and blazing fire of hell which will be better for you, cos we dont know when our time will be up.

    ma salama

    • "we are all destined to die there is no need to rush to our deaths"

      Good point Ahmed. Life is so fleeting anyway. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said that he was in this world like a rider who stopped to rest in the shade of a tree, then went on and left it behind.

      We are like the flowers that bloom when the spring rain falls, then die. Our lives are that short, that quickly over. How many thousands of generations have passed before us, and where are they now?

      With life so short, it is precious. It's a chance to please Allah and do good deeds, and earn our spot in Jannah, Insha'Allah.

    • Slmz 2 one and all i have a similar situation as the girl i have loved most is now gone, she has left me.

      (Remainder of comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

    • my name is Craig henry, i am jamaican, i had a beautiful spouse and two girls in U.k, i eventually went U.S and ended up cheating and had a child born.

      (I deleted the rest of your comment. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, as we have people waiting to have their questions published. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor).

  2. Jazak Allah khayr to Sister Z for your detailed and inspiring response. I also want Insha'Allah to write a detailed explanation of Allah's Qadr (predestination), what is written by Allah, and how our free will, struggles and Dua' fit within that framework.

    In the meantime, let me just say: your Dua' matters. As Sister Z said, your Dua' is heard by Allah and it is always answered, even if not in the way you expect or imagine. Your effort and your struggles to change your condition make a difference. Your work is not in vain. You have free will to make your own choices, and Allah helps you when you call upon Him.

    Also, Sister Sasha, I must address this issue of suicide. Sister, we are Muslims. We believe in Allah and we trust in Him. Suicide is not our way. Please read this answer I wrote to another Muslim sister on the matter of suicide:

    I Committed Sins and I Hate My Life

    And may Allah bless you and ease your heart.

  3. duas can change fate it is the greatest weapon we have as believers and very powerful, I have read this many times and believe it. But you must have complete faith that Allah will answer your duas,and make them specifc. Additionally wakeup for tahajjut very important prayer to have your duas heard and recite Quran and Surah Yasin regularly. Surah 94 in quran is good to to read as it gives you hope in this surah Allah says 'For every hardship there is relief ,for every hardship there is relief, so when you are done with you occupation turn your hopes to me' (this is not exact translation but very close) I believe it is important to remember the emphasise God has put on relief after hardship,it is repeated twice. Allah would never burden us with more then we can bear and and relief will follow if your faith and hopes all rest entirely in Allah. I have a book which has ettiquetts of duas and other duas (all ref from hadeeth) which I have found very helpful. If you like I can post you a copy. I have been in a very difficult situation myself and all I do is pray perfusely,it helps and have been astonished by results. Visualise your dua coming true,everytime you lose hope recite HASBANAllah u Wanaimul Wakeel' Allah is sufficient for my help. And think about all the things Ive said about the power of dua, Inshallah you will find relief as we have been promised in the great book. Lahula WaalaQuowata' Allah is the greatest.

    • Salaam Irram, I wanted to ask you if you can please post a copy of your book of duas you were referring to, it will be kindly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

    • Salam,

      Would you please send me that Dua from your book?My e-mail address: (email address deleted by Editor)
      I am not in good situation, I did lot of pray, "katmat Khoran", "Katmat Sorat-o Al-anam", " katmat- sora Yasin",......and lot more that I can not mention here. not any answer until now.

      Thanks and God bless you.

  4. Dear Brothers & Sisters,

    My wife recently left me due to an argument that had occured between us! we have been together for 2 years now and love each other dearly but since she studies abroad and i work in another country we have had some difficulties which lead to us quarreling everyday.

    she has left me now and is refusing to come back or talk to me even. please advice what i need to do or what dua i should say to make this right! and for Allah to hear my prayer! i can not live without her and it is becoming difficult everyday. i do not want to commit suicide knowing full well how it would displease Allah, but at days it seems like an option.

    please help me

    • Dear Hamad,

      the exact same thing has happened to me 2 days ago.
      My boyfriend of 2 years, that I was supposed to marry soon, has left me after a heavy argument.
      We too aren't living in the same country, so all the stress has made me very bitter.
      And I would always take it out on him, even though he was such amazing guy.
      Then 2 days ago, he had it enough of me, and broke up with me.
      He has since then refused to talk to me, and he no longer picks up when I call.

      I can not tell you what duas you should read or what to say to Allah exactly to help you.
      As I don't know it myself..
      I can only ask you not to commit suicide, to trust Allah with all your heart, and to keep praying so Allah will help you get your wife back.
      I am in the same hell, just like you, my heart is broken, my soul is crushed.

      Please hang in there..
      Staying alive, taking care of yourself, praying to Allah is the only way to win back your love.

      • Have u got your boyfrend back?

        • Asalamalikum,

          I too have a similar story plus a burden of many more problems. I am so shattered. Trust me with so much pain I still believe that our duas are accepted but the only thing is ALLAH gives it to us at a right time. I used to cry and ask ALLAH, he tested me to see my sabar and slowly and suddenly many things opened for me and wishes came true. I still have problems and am not 100 percent free of it but my ibada and trust in ALLAH is strong. They say if kismat or destiny was everything then ALLAH would have never taught his followers to do dua. I seek also a lot of prayers and request brothers and sisters to pray for all muslim brothers and sisters. Rememer me in ur duas and INSHALLAH sister ur love will come back. Ameen sumaameen.INSHALLAH my love also comes back

      • did u get ur bf back?? 2 yrzZ hav passd approxX..

    • Hamad,

      Salaam

      Please hang in there. Suicide is not the answer.Please trust in Allah and keep yourself busy.
      Everything will turn out well in the end. Remember you are not the only one lots of other people in the same position,somaybe thinking that way might help. Allah does not burden us with more then we can take.Pray and try and make contact with your wife,or try and get someone to act as go between.

      Inshallah everything will turnout for the best.

      Allah Hafiz.

  5. Asalamualaikum dear sister,

    Sister I know that we must consult with knowledgeable people and use our own judgement. However as muslims we do also know there is nothing Allah can not do. I know exactly what you mean when you say he is all the sukoon and love you need. He is your husband you're relationship is halal. Invoke Allah with true belief and invoke him alone and injshAllah he will help you. When you talk to him in duaa don't say inshAllah instead ask Allah what you want although in your heart you do know Allah does what is best for us; his slaves. He is our creator. I talked to my imaam today and got a duaa when I asked him about changing fate. The duaa is : "Allahumma la sahla illama ja-’altahu sahla wa anta taj ‘alu al hazana etha shi’ta sahla.
    O Allah! Nothing is easy except what You have made easy. If You wish, You can make the difficult easy. " Say this in you munajat after salaat.

    Pray for me as well sister. May Allah grant us peace and strengthen our imaan. Also give us paradise and save us from the fire of hell, torment of the grave and the anxiety on the day of judgement.
    Please sister do not even think about looking into astrology '; dont even think about looking into your zodiac sign. I now realize how I was being mislead by that stuff.

    • Asalaamualaikum dear M.I

      JazakhAllah for reminding us of this very beautiful dua! Very poignant indeed.

      "O Allah! Nothing is easy except what You have made easy. If You wish, You can make the difficult easy "

      May Allah reward you.

      SisterZ

      • Asalamualaikum brothers/sisters,

        Does anyone know of any duaa to help in a marriage situation. I want to marry a brother who is outside the family, but unfortunately my parents will probably not allow this. But everything is possible with Allah(swt) will. so inshallah i have hope. But are there any specific duaas for a situation like this.

        Jzk in advance.

        M'salama

        • Walaikumsalaam,

          Dear Maria and to all readers, you should really log in and write in your questions as seperate posts.

          The information on the link below provides some comprehensive information on the etiquettes of making dua. Please read this inshaAllah.

          http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/how-to-make-dua/

          Also, there areduas recommended in the Quran and sunnah for various situations. I will inshaAllah write in with various duas soon. I hope the above link is useful.

        • maria yaa hayyu ya qayyum 450 dafa asar ki namaz kay baad parhye mjhy dua may yaad rahkyega har hajat kay liye hhai

      • pls pray for me i hav lost mine love he has gone away from me pls pray dat he come back in mine life and i get married to him ... i jst want to marry him only .i cant think of anybody else. his name is prabhsharan singh and me preetinder pls sis pray for me that i also get happines in mine life

    • Assalamualikum
      Could u post this is in Arabic please. Will be easy to read. Will not be any mistakes reading.
      JazakaAllah

      • اللهم لا سهل إلا ما جعلته سهلا ، و أنت تجعل الحزن إذا شئت سهلا

        Allahuma la sahil ila ma ja'altahu sahil, wa inta taja'al alhizin itha shi2t sahl

        Oh Allah there is no easy except what you make easy, and if you want you can turn the sadness/difficulty into success/easiness

        This is not Quran, it is a dua from 'husn almuslim' the dua book named 'the protection of the muslim' by Dr saeed bin wahn algahtanni, narrated by Ibn haban and Ibn alsanni (number 351) narrated by hadith 2427

        Allahu A'alam

  6. How can I reach out to you privately for advice? Is it even possible?

    • Dear AN - yes it is possible,

      Log in and submit your question and note in the question that you want it to remain private. We will not publish it and one of or editors will email you directly instead inshaAllah.

      SisterZ

      • Note:private
        Assalamualikum Sister,
        Would like to know all the duas recommended in the Quran and sunnah for all various situations.like love health money happiness marriage etc... i do believe duas can amend fate.. I trust Allah SWT. I'll be great-full of u if u please forward me the link or the duas to my email id ASAP. i need them urgently. as i m in a bad situation.
        And this link is not working for me "http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/how-to-make-dua/"

        Thanks & Regards
        May Allah answer all our prayers.Ameen.Do remember me in ur prayers.

      • salam,i m married but only nikkah held,v did hidden nikkah,my husband iz taking interest another girl,can u give me wazifa by mail so through that wazifa i could get rid of that girl

        • zahra, there's no such thing as wazifa in Islam. Try to remind your husband of his duties as a Muslim. If necessary, speak to his family or others who may be able to persuade him. Make dua' to Allah to give you a happy marriage.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. hello. I just want to someone to tell me a dua and what i have to do before it and after it.. for getting the love of my life back in my life. as we are separated because of our parents. and things between us are perfect,. we are trying to separate each other. but its jsut not possible.
    please help.

  8. Assalamo alaykom warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. To my sisters and Brothers in Islam, the fastest reply to our dua from ALLAh Subahanahu Wa taalaa is when you pray not for yourself but for your brothers or sisters who are not present when you say the dua. Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) said: " asraul -yjaba liddua da'hwatul akhi li dhahril gahaybi." The fastest reply' answer for the dua is the dua of the brother/sister ( for his brothers or sisters) who is not present. So brothers and sisters, when you have an immediate problems that you need the quick reply from ALLAH, you pray for your brothers or sisters who did not hear and know your dua for him or her. Do u really need the quickest or fastest answers for your dua? Then, make dua for others. Example, when you want to have peace and reconcilliation between your husband, pray for your sisters who have husbands like:" Ya ALLAH forgive me sisters and brothers so and so and always make them peaceful between themselves and always make them reconcile whenever they have problems, by your mercy." The angels will say: " ameen! wa laka( Ameen! for you too.) You see it will be return to you. So do you want your husband to love you always with quck reply from ALLAH? well, say like: Ya ALLAH! make the husband of my sister Fatimah love and respect her always and eternally and bless them both." Then angels will say: " Ameen! And for you too."So you see? your husband will also love and respect you after your dua for your sisters and brothers is accepted by Allah.Now! do you want your husbadn will come back to you? Well... look for your sisters or your friends who are abandoned by their husband. Then, make dua:" Ya ALLAH! if it is better for my sister(Name the sister or friend) that her husband will return, please cause him to come back to her and make hijm always and eternally love and respect her again and bless them always and make them enter Jannah." Teh angels will say," ameen! for you too. So whatever you pray for the god of your sisters, brothers and others, will always return to you quickly. As our Prophet said: " The fastest reply/answer for the dua is the dua of a brother/sister (for his brothers or sisters) who is not present.Don't tell your brothers and sisters whom you have prayed for that you pray for him or her or them. It is higly recommended that you perform two rakaah sunnah or salatal; hajah or after every 5 obligatory prayers. But you can do it anytime even when you are having menstruations. You first offer your praises and thanks to ALLAH, then make salawat for Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.,, then make duaa in your own language. Then make salawat to Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. and end it with( Alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'Aalamiyn.May ALLAH guide us all to his straight path always and may He always accept all our duas. Ameen.

  9. SIR I WANT MY LOVE GETTING BACK. HE SPOILED MY LIFE I WANT HIM GET BACK TO ME.PLS GIVE ME DUA FOR GETTING BACK HIM PLS PLS PLS PLS

    • Sana, As-salamu alaykum. I don't know much about your situation since your comment was very brief. If you want a more detailed answer you should log in and write your question as a separate post. However, I can say something brief:

      I understand that love and heartbreak are not logical. The pain of losing love leaves us confused and depressed. I sympathize with your situation. However, dua' is not a magic love potion to make someone come back to you or fall in love with you. It is not for controlling other people. Instead you should make dua' to Allah to comfort your heart and help you move on from this bad experience. Ask Allah to give you peace and tranquility, and to replace what you lost with something better, Insha'Allah.

      • Dear Wael,
        I agree with your position somewhat, including what you have writtin on your website Islamic Sunrays. God does not interfere with our free will. However, God is all-powerful. He does state in the Quran that "And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, and He put love and mercy between your hearts...."

        God is the Creator...of love, amongst other things. That is one of the miracles that He has created for us.

        So why wouldn't Allah SWT answer our prayer, that He put love in the heart of someone we desire? I understand that He would not do so if it is not good for us -- that is a completely separate issue. But the fact is, God is Great, so why can't He change our destiny and makes things good for us, and instill love in the heart of our beloved?

        • Never lose faith in Allah. When you make dua, DO IT FOR REAL NOT JUST TO SHOW ON THE OUTSIDE MAKE DUA WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND DO NOT SELL ALLAH SHORT BY SAYING THAT HE IS STINGY TO NOT GIVE US SOMETHING BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS THAT ALLAH KNOWS EVERYTHING AND NOTHING ESCAPES HIS KNOWLEDGE AND ALLAH DOES THAT WHICH HE WILLS. CRY WHEN YOU PRAY AND PRAY WITH YOUR HEART AND THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY THAT YOU OR ANYONE CAN SAY THAT ALLAH WILL NOT ANSWER YOUR DUA. BECAUSE THE FACT IS THAT SOME PEOPLE DO NOT MAKE DUA PROPERLY OR WITH THEIR FULL ATTENTION.

          WHEN SOMEONE COMES TO ALLAH HEARTBROKEN AND MISERABLE, SURELY ALLAH WILL NEVER TURN ANYONE DOWN AND TURN HIS BACK ON YOU. SO MAKE DUA HARDER WITH FULL CERTAINTY THAT IT WILL BE ANSWER OTHERWISE IF YOU HAVE ONE OUNCE OF DOUBT IN YOUR HEART THAT YOUR DUA WONT BE ANSWERED THEN KNOW THAT ALLAH KNOWS THAT AS WELL. HE KNOWS WHAT IN YOUR HEART.

          PRAY TO ALLAH TELL HIIM WHAT YOU WANT, TALK TO HIM, SHARE YOUR SADNESS AND SHARE YOUR SINS WHICH YOU REGRET AND REALLY TALK TO ALLAH AND KNOW THAT HE IS RABBUL ALAMEEN. HE IS THE LORD OF THE WORLDS AND NOTHING IS AS GREAT AS ALLAH.

          So Make DUA because ALLAH sees you and knows your condition but you must make dua and have faith it Will be answered soon, inshaALLAH if it is good for you.
          Ameen.

    • asalamualikum sis ye mera azmaya howa dua hai yaa hayyu ya qayyum asar ki namaz kay baad app 450 dafa parhain jab tak apka kam na hojaye thanks

      • assalam u alikum sister maria i read ur post i wanted to ask tht is it ok to do wazifa i heared that sum kind of muakilat exist and normal ppl cant resist thier power actually i wnted to do that wazifa which to mentioned but til bit scared to do tht can u plzz guide
        thnku

        • Just make dua as per the Quran and Sunnah and stop making up wazifas and all sorts. Then you won't be scared!

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. salam.

    I been in the exact situation. BROTHERS and SISTERS read ISTIKARA!!!!!!!!!

    READ ISTIKARA.. .let allah show u the right decision to make inshallah. Dont worry!!!!

    perhaps..allah will send you a husband who is more islamic but looks exactly like the husband that left you. SO you feel like you lost nothing...
    Inshallah dont worry! dont worry!

    allah knows what you want. he listens to you. he is soo kind. he can give you the exact kind of look you want but more islamic more kind and trustworthy. ASK FOR THAT IN your duas.

    SO,

    1. DO ISTIKARA. ASK ALLAH IS THAT PERSON RIGHT FOR YOU?is he worthy crying over. ..keep an eye out for dreams. allah will give you a hint in your dream whether he is worth the hassle.

    2. Once you get a feeling that its a no.Trust allah and DONT give up!! This is the time to ask allah for what you want.
    That person is bad for you , so ask allah for a better person and if there is a specific look you want ask ALLAH....and wait..... and trust him.

    Inshallah...allah will see your trust in him and give you inshallah someone who will make you happy.

    Plzzzzzzz...Theres a reason why allah gave us istikara...let allah make decision for you whther allah shud bring him/her back or not
    I

    allah knows best. He knows the future. .

    Remember cheating men for cheating women.

    bad men for bad women

    GET A PERSON WHO can get u into heaven.

    inshalah i hope allah helps u al out

    salaam

    • Wendy

      Salaam,

      your comments are good. but I would like to say one thing.I cannot say myself that I am a nice person only others can say that, so why have I had horrible people in my life. Does that mean that I am not a nice person.

      Kind Regards

      Allah Hafiz.

  11. My problem is slightly different, I had been married for 23 years and I have two boys, me and my husband and my sons we all came together to the united states five years ago because I know English I got job and accomplished my education, my husband does not know any word of English and my brother who has been here for 22 years he spent a lot of money on my husband for institute to help him to learn English but unfortunately he didnt learn any word so I worked by myself for 4 years try to raise my children and feed my husband when I come home every day I find him sit on the sofa waching tv and waiting for me to prepare dinner . Briefly he went back home to restart his business and I still have few months to get my citezenship so I missed him because I love him I asked him to come and visit he came over one month ago I was so happy with him and he stayed for one month and he left back home, then he called me he said leave your sons and come over and you just have one month to do that, so politely I told him just wait for 3 months he said no and after 10 days it was a surprise he divorced me without I know and directly he engaged another woman and his wedding was 2 days ago I have the faith but I cry every day regretting the 23 years we spent together.

    • Dear Sister Rania

      I have written something for you below please read it May Allah ease your pain.

  12. hi everyone..
    plzz i m also in a same situation.. i was wid a guy for 3 yrz... bt he left me this january.. n then in march he got married 2 some other gal who loved him.. bt i cant 4get him.. i m sooo confused i pray 2 ALLAH that i get him back bt then i think if i can even get him bck again now cuz hez married.... i dont knw what 2 do plzz pray that i get him bck.. but plzzz HELP ME!!!

    • This is really strange. I was with a guy for 2 years and he left me in January and got married in March. Its been half a year since he left. I would be lying if i said that i did not sometimes wish he was still with me, but thats normal. Being with someone for years makes you miss certain things about that person, who played such a big part in your life. You can't forget them, its true, but the feelings for that person change with time. Try to focus on other things, like prayer for whats best for you. Clearly if that guy was a coward and not ready to stand up for you and marry you, he does not deserve to be with you. You deserve better. There are so many things that can go wrong in life, like your parents might be sick, you might have trouble getting pregnant, you or your husband might loose their job, and you need and deserve someone who is there for you 100% of the way. Focus on becoming a better person and improving yourself rather than wishing you had that other guy back, and soon someone who loves you unconditionally for the person you are will find you. Pray for help in forgiving that guy who hurt you, and help in accepting what happened.

    • Abeer

      hi

      I know it is hard, especially when you love them and have been with them for a while,but if they left you and have married someone else,whatdoes that say. Please focus on yourself,look after yourself, pray, seek out your friends. Pershaps start a new course or hobby, or change career,or make new friends.

      In time you will get better time is ahealer. The thing is even if this person comes back what to say that they willnot do this again. Can you bring the trust back.Or can you be a second wife? would you want to be a second wife?

      I think you deserve better much better, you derserve someone who will love you unconditionally and someone who values you as a person.

      Please hang in there.I will pray for you even though I am troubled myself.

      Allah Hafiz.

  13. i know tat i should leave it all on ALLAH bt da thing i m confused about is.,, what should i do??? should i niot pray that i get him back in my life or should i pray that whatever is best for me plz give me that? but i want 2 get him back in my life plzzz help me what should i pray?

  14. Salaams All,

    So many of us share these similar problems of heartbreak and abandonment. Unfortunately there is little we can do to instantly resolve them. I am going through the same things, so by reading these comments I am trying to look at my own situation objectively in order to get through this.

    It is hard when you think you are alone and suffering, whilst the other person has forgotten all about you. He/she has moved on without a care. However, thinking like this only serves to worsen one's mental condition. There is no point. There is no relationship left, only in the mind. This leads to despair and self destruction. At the end of the day, when we are feeling so down we have to remind ourselves of what we still have that is good. Also, are we so special that this should never have happened to us? Look at the examples of all the prophets(may Allah's peace and blessings be upon them all), especially our beloved Rasulallah SAW. They were the noblest of mankind, but endured terrible sufferings and tested so much and still did the best they could.

    Reiterating the same points, but all we can do is pray to Allah. To give us peace in our hearts, patience, to move on in a dignified manner and pray for something better. It is easy to say but hard to carry out. What makes it hard is dwelling on what has been lost. It can be so hard to accept, but we have to look at the bigger picture. This temporary life is but a test and the main objective is to be a good muslim. Let us all not waste our time, thoughts and energy on some selfish, heartless human being who has hurt you, but devote ourselves to Allah.

    If it is meant to be, then that person may come back to you. But in the meantime, destroying one's self over it serves no useful purpose. Let us not waste our lives and mope. Patience and good deeds is what will see us through this.

    Since I posted my own problem, I have begun to do things differently to help myself. Although, I have had relapses in despairing all over again. However, we have to be strong and control ourselves. Try to think positively. I was told that when we go through hardships, see it as a blessing as Allah wants us to improve ourselves. The people who have left us behind, maybe their hearts are sealed and that's why they have no compassion or remorse.

    Insha'Allah, we will all come to realise what is best for us.

    Let us also not forget our fellow muslims who are enduring real suffering in war torn zones and living under oppression around the world and make dua for them.

    Kind Regards

    • @ troubled:

      SIr/Ma'am who ever you are, you have taken words out of my own mouth. Reading your response reminds me of my own thought processes and feelings. Dealing with a similar heart-broken situation i can relate with you and most people here a 100% and i know exactly where your emotions are coming from and understand fully how your personal experiences, observations and circumstances have shaped your thinking with time. it matches deeply with my own thinking which has left me in a state of awe. I just want to let you know that I have found great comfort while reading your comments, so thankyou. And thankyou Sister Z for your insight, it has given me alot of relief and direction. we Muslims are gifted as we can find the biggest comfort and refuge in our religion and Allah during low times. They remind us not to forget our self worth and never lose hope and not seek refuge by indulging in the wrong things, rather to be patient and have faith and learn lessons from our experiences.

      ever since he left me i felt lost, broken and spirit less. what i remember the most is how happy we were together, especially how happy i was. I would often pray to God thanking Him for such a wonderful gift, and believing that He found me worthy of such a man. in returned i promised Allah i would always take care of him, his family and never fight and never once cause unhappiness. I would have given up anything to keep him smiling, he meant the whole world to me.

      My relationship with him began when he confessed to me about his feelings 3 years ago. not to rush into things we both mutually decided to start off as friends, get to know eachother a bit and see if we see a future together (i.e. a happy life). we were like two peas in a pod, and soon we took an extra step and entered faithfully into a relationship. it was a long distance relationship but we both trusted eachother with our eyes closed. he gave me no reason to doubt him, neither did i. he was very committed to the relationship, he was a special guy indeed. he even had mentioned to his mother about me and had assured me just to wait a little while untill he is through with his studies and the day he graduates he will bring his parents to my house. we used to plan our future what we would do together with our lives. we would talk about everything big or small, meaningful or meaningless. we would discuss from politics to how we would raise children. sometimes i used to think i was living a dream, for i was with a man who cared about me deeply and i used to be his world, and he was mine. i never once took him forgranted. i even got closer to Allah as sometimes i would feel so happy that i would turn and pray. both of us has pure intentions and we in it for real. we werent fooling around at all-that is not how we have been brought up.

      just recently we had a fight. it was a stupid argument. i said somethings i probably shouldnt have and yes i apologized with all my heart. this was probably our first bad fight or argument. in these 3 long years we have never had a single fight, and have always been very understanding towards one another. he has always been a bright student, a to be engineer on his way and i know inshallah he will find great success in this life because i have never met a man as intelligent as him, as hardworking as him. he was focused and disciplined. he never let the wrong things distract him. he was from a respectable family like my self and never involved him self in sinful desires, despite the fact that he was living in USA, he never touched or let haram substances close to him. we both have been brought up in an environment where strong values and principles prevail. our parents have hence instilled good values in all of their children. (May Allah give them a long and happy life). he was therefore a serious student and probably a workaholic too. a few months a ago i was facing some family trouble, nothing too serious just some quarrels between my other wise sweet and loving parents it was affecting me as such things in my family are uncommon. my dear father being in the military has been posted to a city where there is no education its sort of a town so my younger brother and i have stayed back in the city to finish our studies. anyway the transition has been hard on me and i guess i became impulsive all of a sudden and said things to my ex i shouldnt have in anger via email. i was sorry about them, but the damage was done and his mind was made. he left me. and i kept trying to call him, he wouldnt pick up. i kept saying sorry because i really was. and to be frank till the end i had no idea he would LEAVE! or that he had already made up his mind to end it! i thought we were so solid that such a stage would never come between us. this dec he would graduate after which he would have sent the proposal to my house. i never imagined THIs would take place all of a sudden and the dream would end. i do admit i was mean to him, i understand he was angry, he could have avoided me for a week, or not talked to me for a month but to leave me! i feel was a bit too harsh.

      I still to this day do not understand why he gave more priority to leaving me than being with me. and over something to petty (but maybe to him it wasnt something little) but i did apologize. i kept apologizing untill he demanded i stop contacting him and not push him into something he wasnt willing to do! what puzzles me is how fast his mind changed! i never asked him for anything, i never pressurized him into being with me or marrying me immediately. it was him who came into my life, told me he has fallen for me, told me that he loved me alot, made promises to me that nothing will do us apart, i got attached to him at a deep level, he knew that very well and i thought he did too. i respected his goals, his studies and always kept his personal aspirations before mine. i gave him the best of me, i just messed up alittle but so what. dont we all have misunderstandings? dont we all have bad days? do you just leave someone with whom uv had such a special and deep bond over a stupid fight! he acted like i committed a sin. this is the kind of reaction one would show if someone was unfaithful to them, or if someone was an enemy who didnt deserve to be forgive and deserved to be forgotten and thrown out of one's life like a used tissue.

      so im left completely confused. some days im guilty, i wish i never said those stupid things to him in anger and sometimes i feel angry at him for being so cold and unsympathetic. i was going through a rough time too so what if i said a few things, dont i even deserve forgiveness. especially when im not just apologizing for my behaviour rather begging him to stay!

      in these 3 years i have been extremely understanding towards him. he had a hot tempter and would get easily mad at stuff but despite that, we never had fights between us. maybe because im more of a happy go lucky person and enjoy the little things in life. i dont let things stress me out and mashallah stuff always works out for me (Allah always helps me out) so my faith is really very strong. because of my perky nature and a fun personality i always made him laugh. if he had a bad day at work or at university, i would cheer him up. he used to care about me alot too. he used to admire my wittiness and sense of humor often would try to compete with me, of course i always won. he would ask me about my day and if i was doing alright in the new house, whether i was safe all the time. he would try to buy things for me but i always stopped him from spending money on me. he would still sometimes not listen. he was the kindest man i ever met i cant deny it. and i loved him dearly. i have wonderful memories with him. i just wonder sometimes how he could just let it all go. does he miss me as much as i do? does he regret not being with me? does he wonder how beautiful our life would have been together? im not the kind of woman who likes a person for what he has in his bank account or what car he drives. these things effect me the least, thats not the up bringing i have gotten from my parents. he was my true love and iv loved him only for his soul. and for the wonderful years he gave me, i would therefore never be able to forget him. i will always compare others with him and the thought will always cross my mind "what my life could have been like had i still been with him". it hurts too much sometimes to the extent that i cry so hard that i stop breathing, i skip a beat. then i have to force myself to stop and breath a little so i dont faint or something. to others, i look fine as if nothing has happened to me but inside Allah knows what my state is. and only Allah knows how much pain im in.

      Sometimes you dont get want you desire the most. Ill never truely know what went on really in his mind which made him leave me because our relationship was near to perfect. a normal human being wouldnt want to lose it. but then i ask myself if i hurt him too much, but then again those were only words and stupid ones. i wish he was more patient and sympathetic. But im not furious at him. he did what he felt right. And it was never my intention ever to push him to do anything for me, i would never do that to him or force him to do anything for me, i never have, thats not how i roll, and thats not my idea of a healthy relationship. i always gave him space when he needed it. i was interested to know what he would do for me out of his own heart and will, rather than me telling him what to do. and if he felt i was being pushy then he just misunderstood the depth of my love and passion for him. I adored him very much and like i mentioned earlier, i considered him as God's gift. and not just a man in my life. I want to thank him for giving me such wonderful memories. for letting me experience such a wonderful feeling that we all call love. i would never forget it. and i would probably not be able to love someone else this much because it only happens once. I pray for him everyday, that he achieves everything that he is working for so hard. he attains success in this world and has a happy life.

      i will never stop praying to Allah to unite us again. but Allah knows best. He knows me best too. there are somethings ill probably never get an answer to. and ill just live with the confusion. im trying to be strong but somedays it becomes very hard. Sometimes i wish i have a short life so this torture ends soon. but i will try my best to find new meaning in life. not to lose my spirit while im here and some how just try live a good life. but it wouldnt be the same without him. and i wonder if he feels the same way. maybe he doesnt. it must have been so easy for him to move on. i wish i didnt have a heart so i wouldnt feel so damaged. i could keep going on with this story and my feelings because there is no end, i cant conclude this- the experience has had a big impact on me and im left completely and utterly numb.

      • Dear Zara, I'm sorry about all the hard times u faced and all the pain you're going through at the moment. May Allah swt grant you patience and good health to overcome this very tough situation and to Insha Allah move on and live a happy life one day. I guess we all go through difficulties in life in different ways. I too faced similar situation as yours some months ago. It was very difficult for me to cope and accept it-I went through serious depression, but I leant to be strong and positive. Alhamdulillah with prayers and patience I moved on (but haven't forgotten about it) I'm trying to be happy and positive, and to see the good in everything God has blessed me with.

        Allah swt knows best-he knows what is best for us in this and the next life. Perhaps whatever happened to you is for your own good, you never know the wisdom behind it. Sis everything happens for a reason, be patient and wait for something special, insha'Allah He swt will bless you with something better soon-just be patient and put all your trust in him-make loads of dua and do your prayers.

      • Zara

        Salaam

        sorry to hear all this. But it looks like the person just wanted out of the relationship, and wasnot able to say so.Things were getting a little too comfortable and perhaps he thought you wanted commitment.Pershaps he suddenly realised he wanted something else and your goals were different.

        I suggest that you look after yourself and focus on yourself .Pursue new hobbies or a short course. Go onholiday.Treat yourself to something , and pray and trust in Allah. It is is very hard Iknow, because I am very troubled at the momment as well. But in time you will get better.

        If this person is meant to return they will, but donot put your life onhold,get on with your life. If they come back you need to talk,because if you were married and he did this and there were children involved as well,well do Ineed to say anymore.

        So please try and live your lifeas best you can. I feel that you deserve a person who will love you unconditionally and value you as a person.Everyone hasan arguments, but that does not mean you up and leave?if that is the case something is wrong.Very Wrong?

        Trust In Allah.

        Allah Hafiz.

      • Salaam sister

        I know how you feel. Its like you wrote my story. I also pray to rather die and go to jananh, inshallah instead of living without him. He feels like the other part of my soul. He completes me. I wish for us to pray together, play together and grow old together.

        Things didn't work out that way, cos culture came into play. But I'll make dua for you.

  15. all u ppl r rite.. but i have one ques.. even though da guy i loved is married bt i still want him back in my life.. n as we say fate can be changed if we pray 2 ALLAH for somethin.. n i knw i want him therefore, should i pray ttat i get him back or just move on in my life????
    plzzzzz help me i m sooo confused plz pray for me...

  16. Abeer, pray to Allah to give u patience & that u will find someone better than that person. if he wanted to be with u then he would marry u but he married someone else. dont pray for him to come back. he is someone else's husband now

  17. bt as we say dua can change our fate so cant my fate change if i pray tat i get him back?uff itz soo hard 2 live...

  18. My husband has always been horrible to me but he has got worse. Is there any dua you can suggest that will make his heart become a little soft and less selfish, argumentative, negative etc.

    Your quick response would be appreciated.

  19. salam sis,
    my husband and i love each other very much and respect each others feelings too.The only problem in our relationship is he dont like my family members due to some issues which took place in the begnining of our marriage..but we have overcome from those problem and moved ahead..but still he has those hard memories in his mind about my parents..i dont know what to do whom to choose parents or husband..is there any dua or wazifah to remove the differences between my parents and husband...i love my husband alot i cnt leave him..please help me out..

  20. me and my boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and i really love him. we broke up because of a situation he is in and this was the only way out and i dont want him to do what he is planing on doing. i pray every night that he changes his mind and comes back to me. i would like a dua for him to change his mind from doing what he is planning because it is not good and inshallah come back to me.

  21. asslama alaikam brothers and sisters in islam...

    my name is Rehanna, i have had alot going on with myself in the last few years. where my nikkah was broken due to this my confidence in ever marrying anyone was lost... until i met a person who i knew would be the one 4r me.. this was the person who treated me with respect and full fill the desires as a women would want to be treated... we both wanted to marry each other and couldnt live without each other, but all of a sudden he stopped contacting me and its been almost 3 months since i heard from him... it is upsetting me alot because i dont know the reason why we stopped talking to each other and he is the one who i want to do my nikkah with please brothers and sisters make dua for me that he starts talking to me and we both have our nikkah done like we both wanted... jazakallah ( inshallah ill remeber u all in my duas)

  22. Dear Sister Sasha, As-salamu alaykum wa Rahmatullah wa barakatahu

    My dear sister, I can very well understand and can feel the pain that you are going through. No advice, No reading can help you or any one who is suffering with a breakup. As per scientific explanation the hormone that releases when we are in love is same which is released when we take 'Methamphetamine' (a drug just like cocaine, used and smuggled maximum), so it's nearly impossible to getaway from that pain. But, here is a point. Allah was the one who brought you together, but that man betrayed you, ditched you and cheated on you even when you loved him so much. So you should think that, he is the worst one and he does not deserve you. Pray to Allah almighty, ask for his forgiveness and no dought he will bring you a man who will love you like anything. You have not done anything so why you are going to commit suicide. Just answer to this question. Do Allah is more important or the man to whom you were married.
    Allah is your master, Allah is your creater, Allah is your lord and he loves you. Now take an oath you will never let that man reenter your life and you will again marry a man who will give you all the happiness of life which you deserve. Thank Allah almighty for his help and protecting you. Remember you have to die and you have to show him your face.

    Chouse Allah or that cheater (your husband)

    Hope Allah guide you and protect you from the fire of hell. May Allah Bless all. NO EXCEPTION.

  23. assalamualaykum brothers and sisters. i am a 16 years old teenager, i am also a deaf person with two hearing aids. I really want to be able to hear again without my hearing aids, and i am unsure about what to do. Please help

    • Dear Mariah, Walaikumsalaam my Sister,

      Do your best to seek as much medical advice as possible and also make immense dua to Allah.

      May Allah(swt) bless you with the ability to hear and may He grant you with sabr and emaan and good in this live and the next!

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  24. salaam, fellow muslims.
    I am facing so many problems in my life. One of the problem is that people are talking about me behind my back, swearing at my family, and saying that i like a boy. I don't know what to do as this is breaking my Heart. Please recomend any Duas' that will help me.

    Khuda fiz

    • Dear Sister,

      People who backbite, slander and swear do more harm to themselves as they face punishment in the hereafter.

      They did not stop to think before slandering the pious and scholarly wife of Rasool(saw): Aisha(ra) or the chaste mother of Isa(as): Maryam(ra), astagfirullah they were accused of committing zina. They did not and still do not stop slandering our beloved Rasool(saw); he is called a liar, a mad man, a child abuser and a wife beater, astagfiruallah. Even worse, they slander our Creator Allah the Almighty - astagfirullah.

      So my dear sister, who are we to expect any better from people? We cannot change the behaviour of others, we can only change the way we respond. So do not let other's words harm you, let the words wash away like water washes away dirt. Remember even this is test from Allah, so all you need to be concerned with is that you are being true to Allah and conducting yourself with dignity and manners. Seek comfort in the stories of Aisha(ra) and Maryam(ra). I shall try to find the duas that Aisha(ra) said when she was going through her ordeal.

      Furthermore, rise above the hurtful words of these people and ask Allah to guide and forgive them, for Allah (swt) says in the Quran Surah 33, Ayah 58: 'And those who speak evil things of the believing men and the believing women without their having earned it, they are guilty indeed of a false accusation and a manifest sin'.

      The Holy Prophet (saw) has said: If one puts a false allegation on a believing man or a believing woman or says anything about them which is not in him or her, the Lord almighty will, on the Day of Judgement, keep him in the cloud of hell-smoke until he comes out of the responsibility of what he had said'.

      And how will those people come out of that responsibility? If they have not made amends in this life, it will be dealt with in the hereafter.

      Al Qantarah is a small bridge after the Siraat (the Traverse) that the believers will have to cross before entering Jannah. Allah (swt) will ask the believers to settle their issues here, right in front of the gates of Jannah. And our good deeds will continue to go to the person we have wronged till they forgive us and if we run out of good deeds, their bad deeds will go over to us.

      So remember that you are in a more powerful position than those who hurt you.

      May Allah protect you,

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor
      x

  25. السلام عليكم (As-Salāmu `Alaykum)

    I am posting this message once for all. I hope this gonna help or guide everyone in every matter whatsoever it is. I will not give my own opinion, but will try my best to tell what actually in Islam is.

    The Initial Concept:
    Islam is a religion which actually talks about Peace, Love and Humanity. We are the most perfect creation of Allah (Almighty God) and Allah has created us just to live in this earth for a limited period of time, in which we are allowed to do whatever we want or desire or decide and not to obey or pray anyone except Allah (the only and one God). Whatever happens, happens for good and Allah has something or the other behind it which is hidden from humans for his own sake. So we should trust Allah and ask for his mercy. If we need an advice or a solution to any problem big or small the only solution to it is Quran. Read it and read with meaning to understand it.

    Love in Islam:
    Islam is the only religion which loves "Love" between humans and with every other creation of Allah almighty. Love between Mother and Father, Brother and Brother, Brother and Sister, Sister and Sister, Friends, Husband, Wife, Children, etc. But all this love is pious (no sexual intimacy or contact or even thought) of any kind to any extent with anyone. Now this is one love.

    Second love is with world, humanity, poor, social, cultural and other living, non-living, or dead things, like flowers, rain, etc. (Love with all the creations of Allah so that you can love the creator Allah again).

    But Allah has forbidden love with anyone to such an extent where you develop a sense of dependency and it becomes painful to live in his/her absence. Eternal or Extreme Love and Love to the level of madness is only allowed with Allah and his profit Muhammad (saaw).

    Relationship and Islam:
    Modern culture or western culture has completely changed our living pattern. We are free and live in a society where difference and distance between male and female, boy or girl is negligible. Since every human male or female has hormonal imbalance (13 to 30 age group) so it's obvious we develop a feeling of Love or Attraction or Infatuation towards other person (mostly opposite sex). Some times we break our boundaries and make physical relations with that person. (Most people give a simple reason i.e., they were into a relationship and they did it (sex) so what? It all happened when everything was going fine and we were totally in love and was deciding to get married), but this is the point of maximum destruction.

    Allah has forbidden and type of contact (specially physical contact) of any kind, whatsoever it is between male and female before marriage. The marriage is only Halal when both the couples are Muslim. If any one is a Non-Muslim then that is not a marriage but, Zinha (Adultery) which is Haram. And getting physical (sex of any kind, oral, or etc) without proper Islamic Nikah (marriage) is Haram just like wine and pig meat.

    Comment on all the post:
    People here are talking about getting their mates, partners, love back. Some even want a Dua (prayer) for the same. The reason is that they are in extreme pain, their heart is broken and they need immediate cure and they all know that only Allah can now help them as He is most powerful and able to do everything.

    Now, my friends, brothers and sisters. Listen to this. Accept it or not. First you have done something which is forbidden in Islam. Allah hate such things and such humans and call them Zalim (cruel). and Allah says in Quran (Allah never help cruel, people who bring terror/ destruction on earth) (Allah Zalimon ka sath nahi deta). Now instead of asking for sorry you need that forbidden and Haram Gunah-e-azim (adultery) back in your life just to satisfy your needs whatsoever they are. Even you need Dua. What do you think Allah will help you in doing such haram thing by which you are, you have, you intent to destroy his balance of piousness on earth.

    The Ultimate Solution:
    The moment you read this, think and accept that you have done something wrong and you need immediate support and help and solution for your problem. When you go to the doctor, he tells you to take certain medicine and precautions. Now you don't ask the doctor about each and every bit that he has told you but, you accept it and obey his orders in order to get healthy as soon as possible. Right? Same is the case here.

    Whether that relationship was good or bad. He/She was not the right person for you and if he/she was then you were not doing the right thing. Feel sorry and shame and need Allah help to get on the right path not to get that Haram relationship again.

    You have to accept that your first liability is towards Allah (az-zo-jal) and you have done something prohibited and haram and you are in great danger. So stop crying, take a long breath and take a bath if possible immediately. Wear some washed clothes (if possible) and offer 2 Rakat Namaz (2 sets of prayer) immediately. Once done you have to say something like this.

    Allah You are the only Lord and you are the only God. You never sent me for doing this and you are great. Allah you were always there and helpful every time and I know that your mercy is like a rain which brings herbs from the deadliest land and I know that I am the only culprit. I have done something which is not good and I am solely responsible for braking your laws. I deserve your punishment but, I am afraid that I can not afford your punishment as it is extremely painful and dangerous and brutal. So I ask for your mercy and help, as I completely know that, you are merciful and helpful and you are the only help I need, I trust and I have, so help me to remove this pain from my heart and purify my sole and help me to forget that person and the deed that I did which was completely wrong and I was a fool so I am sorry and I promise that I will listen to you and the call of your profit Muhammad (saaw) and will never repeat this blunder again. Allah help me and give me power to fight against bad and satan and give me and my soul enough strength to do good and be on the right path of Muhammad (saaw). Aamin"

    You have to admit it that you have done a Haram deed and you have to have no contact good or bad with that person again and you have to forget that (what you have done), you have to hate that moments and don't think of those (good or bad) because satan always put sweetness in Haram. So start praying 5 times a day and read quran whenever you feel sad or disregarded.

    May Allah help you all, may Allah help us all and may Allah protect us and guide us all.

    Note: There is a girl who said she is 16 and pregnant with his non-muslim boyfriend, sister please tell this immediately to your parents (mother or father whom you trust more and not your friend) and see what they say. Do it immediately otherwise with the passage of time it will be more problematic for you and for your family. Consult an imam or alim for the same. I will also try to give most appropriate answer but, first tell your parents. Please. You need help...

    • I agree wholeheartedly. Thankfully I didn't have full physical relations with my love though he persisted but I didn't give in; I love Allah more and if he calls, no matter how much despair my heart is in I won't go back there because I know he wants to commit sin and I don't want to repeat that ever again and I choose Allah first. Please pray for me that he wants to do it the halal way and will do nikkah with me instead of being a hypocrite; he seems to be edcuated on islam yet wants to comit sin with me? what is wrong with some people? make du'ahe loves me the halal way if allah wills that and that he won't just stop caring like I think he has because I've not given in. Although my heart's in despair I won't be in despair because I choose Allah first. It's jus sad but happens to everyone unrequited love but who cares his love doesn't count only my deeds do and as long as allah loves me i will be fine inshallah why should we worry? be strong like me inshallah alhamdollilah and take care all

    • You have said everything so perfectly, there should be more people like you for guidance.

      May ALLAH protect us all and grant us the right path.

  26. Im in the same situation.. Im in so much pain

  27. Salaam.. I knw its haraam to have boyfrend and girlfrend.. Its haraam to be physical before marriage.. I also knw that relationship does not have burkat in it and wont last.. But what if you love that person so much n cnt forget dem.. Im sure if u repent and show allah ur sorry and turn to the right path.. Is there any chance allah cn get ur love back and u can do it in a halal way.. I know allah took my love away frm
    Me because wen ur wid sum1 u love ur having a gud time and people dnt remember allah so
    Allah test dem weather there astray or cum back to allah.. I just want my love back.. I also love allah more den anything

  28. Salam!

    Before I start I should tell everyone here, that the dua my friend has stated, is for your spouse. The person with whom you are internally and legally (both according to shariya, Islamic Law & Country's constitution) married. Your other half. That's a wonderful dua which puts love between two hearts when a dispute arise between them, but NOT FOR UN-AUTHORISED PHYSICAL OR NON-PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS.

    What do you mean by I LOVE HER/ HIM very much. If you Love "Pig Meat" and you have acquired this habit because of some un-explained reason. Should Islam allow you to do this. What you expect, just because you love it and you cannot stay without it and you are in so much pain and grief, Islam should convert that Haram (khingeer) into Halal (naooz-billah).

    MY DEAR FRIENDS. I am also a normal human being and I am also not a philosopher or Imam. I do have feelings and I do have an inclination towards opposite sex (girls), but I have to think that, I don't have to go to that road which do not take me to my destination (Home).

    I am not an old man. I am 25, smart, young, talented and well educated. Earning good and also have a huge property. (Alhamdo-lil-Allah). All because of Allah and His blessings. It is not that I've got offers. I completed my education from the top most university in the country. Still I understand.

    You I accept that in today's corporate environment you have to deal with lots of opposite gender and you have to study with them and have interaction with them and you cannot sit like a dum and not replying to anyone or somoeone just because he or she does not belong to the same gender as you are. No. BUT, you should know you limitations. You get closer to the person, you find him/her handsome, beautiful, smart, rich and stylish, cool and you develop a sense of attraction and you start loving them. Without even realizing or thinking about the real future, the practical aspect. MARRIAGE.

    ONE THING MORE. IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP (whether physical or non-physical) WITHOUT MARRIAGE AND LATER YOU MARRY THE SAME PERSON. THEN IT IS NOT HALAL EVEN NOW. EVERY THING YOU DID BEFORE MARRIAGE WILL BE CONSIDERED AS HARAM AND YOU WILL GET IT'S PUNISHMENT, BUT WHATEVER YOU DO AFTER MARRIAGE THAT IS OK, FINE AND HALAL.

    WELL, PRAYER DOES WORK SO YOU BOTH CAN ASK FOR ALLAH FORGIVENESS FOR YOUR PAST AND YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIES FOR YOU PAST BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALREADY DID HARAM.

    SECOND... In any case don't expect Allah to convert you bad into good. As like converting you bad partner (unauthorized) into good or making your left partner come back. But believe me instead of asking you partner back you all should ask this...

    " O ALLAH YOU ARE MOST MERCIFUL AND THE RULER OF THE DAY OF JUDGMENT. YOU ARE RIGHT, I AM WRONG. YOU ARE GREATEST, I AM YOUR SLAVE. YOU ARE GIVER, I AM A BEGGAR. YOU ARE KING OF KINGS, I AM NOTHING BUT A PEACE OF GRAIN OF SAND OR SOMETHING MORE SMALLER THAN THAT, MORE CHEAPER THAN THAT, MORE NEGLECTED THEN THAT.

    ALLAH I UNDERSTAND THAT A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE MARRIAGE IS HARAM AND I HAVE DONE THIS UNFORGIVING DEED, AND I AM A SHAME FOR THE SAME, HOWEVER YOU KNOW MY HEART AND ALL THE SECRET THAT IT KEEPS AND YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE HER/HIM VERY MUCH.

    SO KINDLY HELP ME. DO WHATEVER IS GOOD TO ME AS YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE ON WHOM I CAN TRUST AND BELIEVE. AND YOU THE MOST POWERFUL TO DO ANYTHING. YOU KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG FOR ME. SO BRING THAT PERSON NEAR ME WITH FULL DEVOTION IF THAT IS GOOD TO ME AND MAKE US TOGETHER BY MARRIAGE AND WE WILL ASK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS TOGETHER. BUT IF THAT PERSON IS NOT GOOD FOR ME AND YOU KNOW EVERY THING BETTER AND PERFECT THAN ANYONE ELSE THEN, HELP ME TO FORGET THAT PERSON. MAKE ME STRONG. MAKE MY HEART STRONG. AND MAKE MY DEVOTION AND LOVE TOWARDS YOU ALLAH SO THAT I CAN FOLLOW THE RIGHT PATH OF PROPHETS NOW AND TRY COMPLETELY NEW FOR A BETTER LIFE HERE AND AFTER. AS YOU ARE THE ONLY HELPER, PROTECTOR, GUIDE, AND TRUE.

    O ALLAH I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE AND YES MORE THAN THAT PERSON TOO. SO I COME TO YOU FOR MY BETTER DESTINY. Aamen. "

    Or whatever you like or your heart says. Always ask a dua which you trust is Guinean and not just because you want it and your heart knows that it is not.

    Hope Allah protect you and me and every one from the sins on earth and the fire of hell.

    Salam!

    • this is a nice dua.

      I will disagree with one point in your comments, though. You have both said that if you have a pre-marital relationship, then Allah will not bless the relationship and if you get married to him after, you will still be accountable for your sins.

      That may be true, partially. However, I dsagree that Allah SWT won't bless you. Also there are many many reasons why our sins are forgiven. If we have a relationship before marriage but treat our mother like gold, or support orphans, etc, then who knows maybe Allah will overlook our other sins. My point is, God is merciful.

      Let me tell you a story. My brother lived with his girlfriend for years. They wanted to get married. My parents accepted it but wanted the girl to convert. My brother didn't care one way or another. He also drank. My mother prays ardent dua for all of her children. In the end, this girl converted to Islam, and they have been happily married for almost 20 years. They have 2 healthy children whom they are raising as muslims. My brother is not super-religious, but, he is a good provder, a good husband, a good father, a good son, and overall a good person.

      I firmly believe that Allah made things possible for my brother and his girlfriend (now his wife), and blessed his family, because (1) my mother prayed for him and (2) my brother is overall a good person.

      So not everything is black and white. God works in mysterious ways.

      I am not supportive of a pre-marital relationship. Certainly not a physical one!!! However, I have a huge problem when people who think they are so religious quickly pass judgement on others who do fall inlove outside of marriage, and convince others that they are going to hell. I don't think anyone other than Allah SWT knows what each of our ultimate punishments/rewards will be in the Hereafter.

      If you love someone before marriage, pray to Allah. Just pray. He will either give you what you want, or he won't. There is no downside to asking Allah for what you want.

      • Dear Brother/ Sister

        I feel you have said it perfectly, ALLAH only can decide what is right and what is wrong, we are all brought to this world to be tested, none of us are angels, we all make mistakes in order to learn.

        @ everyone who is praying to have their love back

        I will remember all in my prayers and please pray for me too, as I too love someone and want to marry only him.

        May Allah show us all the right path and make the best happen for us all.

    • Asalaamulaikum Faiza.

      I am saddened to hear your story about your marriage But Allah s.w.t knows best So you must make du'a to Him first and foremos.t Ask for protection from your husband, ask for his love and tenderness and ask for help financially inshallah. Whatever allah wills for you and is written will occur. If it leads to divroce, you've tried your best and you should accept that and be happy and realise Allahj is guiding you to someone better inshallah. But your daughter was meant to be here too alhamdollilah so despite the financial difficulties don't let it be a burden on your relationship and love her unconditionally and try and give her the best life but remember only deeds matter so teach her islam and give he rlove those are what matter most and inshallah she'll be a good devout daughter. Be respectful to your inlaws so no one can say that you're in wrong. Make du'a and let us know if it gets better. perhaps look for refuge if you have women islamic local services i know some are set up? if things don't get better seek advice there, I'm sure they can provide you with housing arrangements. Take care and make' dua' that is the best and greatest tool Alahdmollilah stick to your salah too
      Asalaamuailaikum

      aneesa

  29. May God help you and your brother. I am not opposing you nor anyone else. I never talk giving an example of a single person.

    1- You said, people themselves do bad and tell others the right. Let me inform you, BRING EVERYONE ON THE RIGHT PATH. FIRST YOU FOLLOW AND THEN CALL OTHERS.

    2- You gave an example of your brother, who knows that Allah has forgiven his since. and by the way I HAVE ALREADY SAID EVERY THING IN MY POST EARLIER. READ CAREFULLY AND THEN AGAIN READ IT. I HAVE ALREADY SAID THAT IF YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG AND YOU REALIZE IT LATER AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THEN ALLAH OF COURSE IF MERCIFUL AND HE WILL (if He wills) FORGIVE YOU AND YOUR SINCE.

    HARAM IS HARAM. ALLAH IS MERFICUL AND HE DO MERCY ON EVERY ONE AND EVERY THING. BUT WHO KNOWS THAT IF ALLAH HAS FORGIVEN PERSON-'A' THEN HE WILL ALSO FORGIVE PERSON-'B' SO WHY TEST HIS FORGIVENESS. HE ALMIGHTY HAS ALREADY MADE THIS CLEAR THAT ONE THING IS HARAM SO ITS HARAM THERE IS NO SPACE FOR BUT OR MY BROTHER OR MY SISTER OR MY FRIEND.

    DON'T TRY TO SPOIL THE WHOLE COMMUNITY JUST BY JUSTIFYING A BAD AND HARAM THING BY AN EXAMPLE OF NO TRUE, UN-SURETY, CONFLICT, AND DOUGHT.

    • I'm not justifying anything, nor were my remarks directed at you in particular, but rather at a pattern I've noticed.

      Look, I agree that we shouldn't test God's capacity to forgive. There are some things that are completely haram and we should avoid those things.

      But this idea that "haram is haram"...I'm not 100% sure if we can make unequivocal statements about whether or not God will punish us for our wrongdoings. God looks at the big picture.

      There are a lot of pious people I know who swear at their spouses. There are a lot of muslim men I know that will interact with women in the workplace. Many devout muslims take out mortgages on their homes.

      Will these people be treated better than my brother on the day of judgement? I'm not sure if you or I or anyone else can answer that.

      The quran speaks of God's mercy much more than His wrath. That doesn't mean we should "sin" and not worry about the consequences. It simply means we should try OUR BEST and recognize that you and I and everyon eelse on this planet has the capacity to sin, and will sin on occasion, and must thereafter atone for those sins.

      With all due respect, brother, I am not "spoiling the whole community."

      • Thank u my brothers.. Im sorry if caused and argument.. Thank u for your comments.. I hope my dua is answered n i get what i want

  30. HI EVERYONE..SALAAM ALAIKUM..I HOPE EVERY 1 IS DOING WELL..

    i wanted to share somethings with you and ask u for advice.

    i was in love with someone, and he was inlove with me aswell..we wanted to get ingaged...
    our relationschip was so good..he was such a good person and so was i..we trusted eachtother more than
    anything...but people went to him and they gossiped about me
    he couldnt take it all...and left me with a broken heart.
    he claimes that he doesnt love me no more, and he cant live with people gossiping about me.

    im so broken form in and outside..i have no more interests in life, im so hurt. i cry everyday
    and i pray to alllah that he will make him change his mind and clean his heart towards me..

    he loved me soo much, i just cant believe that before we got engaged..people made his heart so cold for me
    by gossiping. even if i made sins in my life, ive asked allah for forgiveness..ive been punished..

    now im deeply hurt..and i want some advice..
    i try to pray 5 times a day ..and every prayer i make same dua's for forgiveness and allah's help.

    plz gimme ur advice..

    bye,

    Ameera

  31. Indeed I am saddened to say that your faith and emaan must be crumbling if you have dared to attempt suicide.

    Although, admittedly, I do have thoughts I would never ever consider suicide as a practical solution to any horrifici problem in my life because ISLAM FORBIDS IT 100% and hence I just cannot go there as I believe in Allah s.w.t so it's just an absolute no no matter how dire my situation; and again your emaan must be weakening because your sadness is not that severe; it's over a cheating love. Hell, we can all relate to unrequited love but you must put your faith and trust in Allah s.w.t; make du'a and the result is not in our hands. As long as you do good Allah will do good by you too inshaAllah. Don't commit sin. Remember this life is scarily short. And try and ease your heart by considering those in more dire situations than you who seem to cope and have more sabr and patience yet are suffering daily and asking Allah for help where their daily life is affected say by deformities, abuse, or just general hardships regarding love, unrequited love, children, spouses, money woes etc. please be strong. be happy regardless because you should , if i'm honest, count your blessings, you have your sight? your health? a roof over your head. Please be grateful and remember the needy. Assalaamualiakum take care sister remember you're not alone email me if need be.

  32. I am a 22 year old male .. I was dating a girl whom i was very serious with and even she was serious with me i am not sure whether she was serious wiith me the time i came to know she was playing up with me it was too late n by that time i was very serious with her ... i am not able to forget ... i have done alot for her n i prayed to Allah a lot so that i get her back ... i know what allah does is for your own good ... its been more then 4 yrs i am not able to forget her and the moment i get to know she is dating someone else i go into depression ... i.ve tried to commit suicide also a couple of times but then i think it will not make a difference to her whether i am dead or alive but at the same time i am not able to forget her ...

    • Brother Ahsan,

      You are young and clearly heartbroken. Four years is a long time to be with someone, but at the same time pre-marital relations are haraam, so you need to do immense tawbah. Why do you want to commit suicide? Because you cannot have the person you want? Perhaps Allah wants differently for you. You are a Muslim and Muslims do not resort to suicide unless they are feeling extremely weak. If you were feeling stronger, you would never ever think of doing such a thing, as this is a great sin and one for which there is no turning back and for which hell is the abode in the Hereafter.

      Many hearts have been broken since time began. Its part of life. It happens. So let this be an experience you learn from. Move away from this girl. You feel that you are inlove with her so obviously when you see her dating someone else, you will feel extremely upset. Why do you torture yourself by waiting to see who she dates next.

      Learn about your deen - a striving Muslim would be seeking a wife who is a God fearing and a woman who freely dates men does not appear to be so God fearing. Mend you relationship with Allah and learn about the life of the Messenger(sws) and his companions(ra) and their halaal relationships. InshaAllah this will instill a desire love for your deen and for a strong Muslim woman in your heart.

      If you have any questions, please log in and submit them as a separate post inshaAllah.

      Chin up,

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • thank you very much i really aapreciate wht u suggested n i surely will try to get those things in me in the near future...and also i hope i forget everythin wht happened in the past and start with a fresh note... if there r any other queries i surely will post back 2 u and im sure this one will help me a lot... thnx so much once again... Allah Haafiz...!!

    • Asalamualaikum,

      Please DO NOT TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE for reason such as this. Why would you care about someone who does not care about you as much as you care about them. In a relationship the one that cares more has less power and it should be equal. Trust me i have been through something similar to you and i realized that Allah Will never give you something that is not good for you.

      I was like that too for a couple months to a year almost, and even though i felt miserable every day when i woke up knowing he is not there. i am not going to lie it was my fault he left, but my point being that even though i was so miserable and everyone i knew kept asking me and questiong me and tried to cheer me up and make me tell them what was bothering me i DID NOT TELL THEM. Instead, All i did was keep making dua to Allah swt and belive it or not out of the 100 times i probably made dua for everything to be alright between us again and be together the ONE TIME THAT I MADE DUA WITH FULL CERTAINTY THAT ALLAH WILL ANWER ME I KNOW IT, AND GUESS WHAT RIGHT THAT INSTANT I GOT A TEXT FROM this boy that was so upset with me. AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT I FELT IT WAS IIMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO SPEAK AGAIN TO ME.

      ALLAH swt knows the condition of His servants, and He does care, but you have to make dua and more dua and wth full certainty believe that when He says in the Quran " Call on Me, I will answer your(prayer)" then believe that you will get an answer whether it be exactl what you want, or it be in the hereafter, or it may be a blessing in another form. Allah knows everything and He sees everything and i ask you to Make dua once more with full concentraion and try to get close to Allah by gvng charity or anything that pleases Allah swt and defiinately Allah will Answer you if you answer Him (His command, by praying, gvng charity). Try one time more at least to make dua with all your heart. And if you want this dua to be answered then naturally you will have tears coming down your eyes and your heart will speak to Allah not only your mouth. It sounds weird but Never think Allah is stingy and will not give you what you want. HE HEARS YOU, HE SEES YOU HE WILL ANSWER THE CALL OF EVERY SUPPLICANT WHEN they Call Him. EVEN THE DUA OF NONBELIEVERS ARE ANSWERED SOMETIMES BECAUSE ALL IS ALL MERCFUL AND THEY ARE ALSO HIS CREATION SO THE LORD WILL ANSWER HIS CREATION ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED OF SOMETHING SO GREAT.

      But realize that sometimes something is not good for you, in other words this girl of yours might be playing you or anything like that and Allah swt knows all that is in everyones hearts DO NOT THINK ALLAH DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. Try to make dua with your full heart and Know that Allah Answers Everyone. Do not feel sad or depressed, Make DUA because ALLAH SWT LOVES THOSE WHO MAKE DUA TO HIM. We are in need of Allah to answer our duas and for everything And Alah does not need us for anything ever so be grateful for everything you have and Be strong!!!

      Allah is Great. He will Never turn His back on you if you call Him, insha-ALLAH. No doubt there.

  33. Open

    Again alot of people here are talking about pre marital relationships. I cannot stress enough that this is not allowed in Islam FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION, to protect the heart that you alone are responsible for.

    Islam is not out dated nor does Allah not know the psychology of the slaves he has created.
    Allah swt knows your hearts will lead you and he has decreed and blessed that instinctively your heart is made to feel this way, but it is only protected in a marriage because in marriage.
    But when you practice un-halal relationships, you place your heart out on a limb, with no blessings from Allah and when it falls, and ultimately it will without Allahs blessing, it will fall and shatter.

    How can you come to ask Allah to un break it? Now you want dua's to bring back a 'boyfriend or girlfriend?' From Allah?! How can you ask Allah for a haram. What you should be asking of him is to forgive you and to soothe your heart and to fix your life in dunya and akhera.

    But since you all want dua's to be answered there is nothing wrong with that, but let me shed light on a very beautiful dua narrated by our beloved prophet Mohammed pbuh, may it open the lights in your hearts and guide you to an enlightened dua that embraces the spirit of tawakul (reliance) because often we rush into something called tawaakul, (self consumption) and thats a different meaning altogether. Not only is the spelling almost the same but the two, tawakul and tawaakil, although different in meaning they are similarly close only separated by a fine line we should caution not to cross

    Read carefully and UNDERSTAND:-

    When Abu Salama died and his wife Um Salama was grieving deeply.
    Rassoul Allah Mohammed approached her and consoled her advising her to say this dua
    اللهم أجرني في مصيبتي واخلفني خيراً منها
    O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it
    She asked incredulously "but is there better than Abu Salama" unable to believe that Allah may have in store for her something better.
    But she said the dua.....Undertstanding and believing it and........placing her faith in all mighty Allah

    *Then when she finished her iddah who did Allah swt replace Abu Salamah with? Someone who was so much better than him in worldly status and in the status of the akhirah – Mohammad, the Messenger of Allah pbuh. Prophet Mohammad pbuh approached her. She didn’t have to get his attention or compromise her faith or herself for him. He came to her even though she was old, widowed with children and he accepted her even though she admitted to having character deficiencies. And had Umm Salamah not gone through the pain of losing Abu Salamah, she would never have had the honour of being the wife of the final Messenger of Allah pbuh in this world or the next.

    *“And Allah is predominant over His affair, but most of the people do not know.” Qur’an(12:20)

    *Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) mentions this ayat to us in Surah Yusuf after Yusuf (‘alayhisalaam) is thrown down a well by his own brothers, separated from his beloved father by their envy and sold as a slave, and this is BEFORE the test of the women and prison…why? Whereas the majority of people when placed in difficult times would lose hope in the mercy of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and despair and give up on making du’a we musn’t be fooled by the difficult times in our life – that things may get worse and continue to, but we have to remember Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) is completely in control of our affairs and that with this difficulty there is some ultimate benefit for us both on the day of Judgement and also in this world.

    “…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (2:216)

    *Since He (subhanahu wa ta’ala) has placed us in this difficulty, He, too, will remove us from this difficulty just as in the same way as with Yusuf (‘alayhisalaam). Had Yusuf (‘alayhisalaam) not been thrown down the well by his brothers, he would not have become the financial minister of Egypt. The day he was thrown in the well was the day that his path to blessings was made easy for him. The blessing of becoming financial minister of Egypt, the blessing of wealth and honour and provision. The blessing of prophethood and the blessing of Jannah. Yusuf (‘alayhisalaam) eventually saw the fruits of his patience. Similarly, we have to have patience because the day our test began is the day our path to honour, blessings and ease had also similarly begun.

    *The Prophet (sallalaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) said “…“Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him in front of you. Become beloved to Allah during times of prosperity, He will know you in times of adversity. Know that what has passed you by was never to befall you. And (know that) what has befallen you was never to have passed you by. And know that victory accompanies perseverance, relief accompanies affliction and ease accompanies hardship”. (At-Tirmidhi Hadith #19 in An-Nawawi’s 40 Hadith)

    Rania Jordan, i'm sorry this happened to you dear sister.
    Wa la hawla wala quwwa ila billah. May Allah ease your pain and may Allah make the amends that are good for you and your family.

    Sasha , I hope this dua helps you too and eases your heart & sadness ( i know exactly how you feel)

    *excerpts written by Umm Yusuf, taken from this website http://muslimmatters.org/2011/05/10/tawakkul-reliance-on-allah/

    • Such a beautiful post, mashAllah.

      A really good reminder for those days where I'm in the dumps; jazakAllah khayr sis!

      -Helping Sister

  34. hello mam/sir,i am a very emotional girl i loved one boy very much i
    never wated to hurt anybdy but dat boy was in relationship with one
    girl

    (Remainder of comment deleted by Editor. Please log in and write your question as a separate post. Thank you.)

  35. Update: Please also see the new article I added, Can Dua Change Qadar?

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  36. ..I may not understand ur pain sister but i feel d same as u r feeling now...My GF ditched me after 1 nd half year..nd even i pray nd cry day and night ..which i guess no one can understand except the one who is suffering d pain..
    like other guys said Allah will give u someone better den him..
    Den guys my Question is Y cant Allah make her husband Good ...instead of saying a better person must b there to takecare u ...Y cant God make her husband better i shld say more better then the Other person is...He is GOD nothing is impossible for him if dis is true den he shld Help her nd others who r crying like this for there loved once...
    When a child get hurt his mother runs towards him for help .. den Y cant God run to help his son nd daughter ?? how can he see dem in pain ?? sister don't suicide dear u r already dead...!!!

    Its easy to say what to do and what not to do...par jab khud pe bithi hai tab halath kya hothi hai woh wahi samaj saktha hai dusra koi nahi...

    If he is der he shld help u nd answer ur prayers ...nd if he is not den sister do wat makes u happy...!!!
    Bless u always..

    • Shri,

      I can see you are suffering, but you have given very bad advice. You said: "If he is der he shld help u nd answer ur prayers ...nd if he is not den sister do wat makes u happy...!!!" You have basically told that sister that if Allah(swt) does not give her what she wants, she should just do whatever pleases 'herself' and you also doubted the existence of Allah. Brother, you must be careful as your thoughts are bordering upon shirk. This is not how a Muslim thinks. A Muslim believes that Allah is the All-Knowing and He(swt) knows more and much better than us. A Muslim also believes that whatever happens, happens by Allah's Will and we should accept our Qadr and trust that Allah is looking out for our betterment. InshaAllah, these hadiths of Rasool(sws) will help you develop an understanding of Allah's Way:

      "There is no hardship which afflicts a Muslim but that Allah expiates with it some sin of his - even a thorn which pricks him." ~ Muslim and Bukhari

      "How amazing is the affair of the believer! Everything which happens is good for him. And that is for no one except the believer. When he encounters good times and ease, he gives thanks and that is good for him and if he encounters hardship he is steadfast and that is good for him." ~ Muslim

      "The analogy of the believer is like the grain crops - the wind continually beats it back and forth. And a believer continues to be afflicted with trials. And, the analogy of the munaafiq (hypocrite) is like the cedar tree - it stands firm with no motion until it is cut down." ~ Muslim and At-Tirmidhi

      May Allah ease your pain and guide you towards Him(swt),

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Eid mubarakh didi...

        well i don't knw much about religion sisters wat i believe is humanity ... nd being human u r doing a gr8 work...i got few questions sister plz dont think i m hindu dats y i m asking u questions dont take me wrong plz ...my GF is muslim nd i do go to Darga as i have faith in ALLAH...i do stand wen i hear Azaan..dats respect which comes from heart..as being human nd love nd respect for GOD....
        Didi i got questions as u said "A Muslim also believes that whatever happens, happens by Allah's Will and we should accept our Qadr and trust that Allah is looking out for our betterment."
        D same things are said by Hindus nd also in other religion too..

        bt den wat abt rape,abortion,muders,bomb blast,racism do u think dis all happens by Allahs will???

        My uncle died in his 30s nd aunt is also not keeping well spends alot in medicines..she got two kids one got 82% in 10th he would have done Engg bt because of lack of financial help he is doing commerce now...nd peoples around say watver happens happen for good... do u think its by Allahs wish dat his father died wen he was a kid he didn't even get his fathers love..u think is it right???

        Didi i m not against GOD but i knw how mch i cry everyday nd night ..how mch my heart aches..since 10 months i m jst praying...nd till now no improvement ..i don't go to work... i paid d fees bt i don't go for class..cant concentrate on anything now...i left my frnds for her.....my dad is suffering from cancer i shld earn bt i cant go to work as i jst think abt her all d time...while i drive i jst cry...i jst sleep as i cant do anything now...i didn't ask him to get me a GF nd wen i got her y he took her away ..As u said all is done by Allah ...
        now please dont say shri wen u have faith u shld go to work nd do ur daily things..its easy to say didi bt difficult to do..dis does not shows dat my faith is lost bt i cant control my feelings nd cant forget d moment which i shared wid her..i got heart nd i m human ..!!!
        Whom shld i ask Question to didi as i have no one left except GOD my only father nd friend left wid me ...
        i don't knw u may understand my situation or not ...i do feel like committing suicide as living lyk dis is dying everyday inside...nd i guess death is d last solution for me to b happy.!!!
        d answers which i gave to d question which one of our sister asked was "If he is der he shld help u nd answer ur prayers nd if not den do wat u makes happy.."

        it comes in mind at this point of time didi why GOD is so angry on me nd wid good peoples around ( lyk one of our sister)....who all love him so mch..

        Human brain didi i used to give d same advice lyk u..wen i use to hear dis kind of situations from my friends b4..bt not now..as i knw wen it comes to ourself its not easy at all..

        My intention is not to hurt anyone..i m sorry if i hurt someones feeling..

        Takecare sisters nd carry on d good work..
        Bless u always..
        ur brother ..
        Shri..

      • A little while ago, I got up from my desk and walked out to a local department store, to buy a little toy for my friend's daughter.

        Do you think that God made me do that?

        No, I decided to do that. God blessed me with legs to walk the 2 blocks required. He blessed me with money to allow me to buy such things. With those blessings, I marched forward with a decision on my own, and accomplished my goal.

        Similarly, God may have created circumstances that brought this girl into your life. But the deicison to make her your Girlfriend was your's, not God's.

        God has given you a job. The decision to not attend work to earn money, is your's.

        You now have a choice. You can keep crying over your loss, and blame God, or you can stop crying and accept that sometimes the consequences of our actions do not always bring us joy. Either way, it is a choice.

        Someday, God may bring another person into your life. It will be up to you to recognize whether or not she is marriage material, and you will make the choices that are necessary to realize that goal. Or not.

        Everyone has gone through what you are going through. You seem to think that the more depressed you are, the more tears you shed, the more attached you are to a loved one, the more likely it is that God will give you what you want. No, it doesn't work that way. Life isn't a bed of roses; it is harsh, a testing ground, and far from the Paradise on earth that a lot of us hope for it to be. There are evil, immoral people out there who make choices that are disastrous for the rest of us, and those are the rapists, the murderers, the cheaters, etc. God does not cause them to do what they do; they make that choice on their own, and we are their victims.

        You need to make the choices necessary to put your life back in order. If you look around you, you will recognize that God has given you the resources to do so, starting with this website.

        • the more depressed you are, the more tears you shed, the more attached you are to a loved one, the more likely it is that God will give you what you want. No, it doesn't work that way.

          so true sister!!

          • NO, but I will tell you ONE way it does work .....There is No person, alive or dead, that puts their entire Trust in Allah (swt)and is ever disappointed.

            TRULY, ALLAH HU AKBAR!!

    • er ur faith is diminishing. brother god does help just not always in the way u want. even if its not in the way u want accept it and know allah is all loving. eid mubarak.

      • Eid mubarakh sister....
        U knw sis i got muslim frnds wen i wish dem EID mubarakh dey dont wish me back dey jst say thanks..dat hurts at times... u r d first one who wished me EID Mubarakh i m so happy sister..
        thanks alot sister to answer me back....
        i dont have anyone left now..except GOD.!!

        God bless u always nd also the other sisters here..
        Takecare of ur self...
        UR Brother..
        Shri..

  37. AoA Sister,

    I dont know you will read this or not but i just want to tell you that i am going through same from last 12,13 months & belive me i did more worse things to myself than you.The pain i am bearing cannot be seen or expressed,I wasn't married with her but still i want to marry her.

    I want to say you that just have this in mind what ever you are saying ALLAH is listening it & have faith that ALLAH is the one who even give us when we dont ask then how is this possible that when we ask ALLAH dont give us?

    Keep on praying to ALLAH i assure you sister oneday (i dont know in matter of days or months) but oneday you will say that yes ALLAH listened all those prays.

  38. salam

    i been with my fiance for six month and he love me alot and i'm same way for him too but all of sudden he have changed n says he doesnt love me.

    (Please log in and write your question as a separate post. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  39. hello sister...
    i hope u r fine dear...and also my other Islamic sisters nd frnds here..
    well i m not fine.. i m still in pain...trying to forget her bt i cant...i m all alone now..no frnds nothing..got a new job but cant concentrate on dat....its my first week so i m on training now...bt i dont understand anything when they teach me...i jst think abt her..
    In between i lost faith on GOD too...bt i think i dont have anyone left wid me except GOD now .. atleast he dont back answer me dat forget her nd all...he dont ask me to think negative...i feel he is saying i m der dont worry i will change the things..i m giving time to her so dat she will come to knw her mistake ...
    GOD is my father my frnd my everything...i share my up and downs in lyf wid him now...as i used to share b4..dont knw y this happened wid me..i cant say watever happens happens for good..as its being months i m in pain..bt watever.... i m changed so mch i cant say... i dont attend phone calls i dont lyk to talk to anyone..loneliness is wat left wid me now...
    Anything is possible if GOD wants this is wat i believe now...
    Takecare sisters nd fnrds..
    Do remember me in ur prayers..
    Bless u all always...

  40. AOA all readers
    well its true that loved one is hard to forget but the pain and misery which we experience may the one side of the picture ,there must be a huge bundle of happiness .becuase beautiful picture are developed in the dark room.so whenever u fine darkness in ur life then Allah is developing a bright future for u always keep in mind. in surah baqara Allah says ...ho sakta ek cheese tumhe buri lagi lekin wo tumharay liye achi ho or ho sakta hay ek cheese tumhe pasand ho or wo tumhare liye behtar na ho ........or tum nahi jantay Allah janta hay....so always thnks to Allah.

  41. Every single person here. Dead or alive. Stop your complaining this instant. Whoever wants to commit suicide or what Not. Everyone here on this forum Do your self a Favor and believe me when i say that TRULY let it be known that ALLAH DOES NOT CHANGE THE CONDITION OF A PEOPLE UNTILL THEY CHANGE THEM SELVES. That means that YOU need to strive for what You want and actively participate it to getting WHAT YOU WANT.

    Please for the love of God, MAKE DUA ON THE DAY OF ARAFAH. THAT IS THE DAY TO MAKE DUA. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND MAKE DUA FOR YOURSELF WHATEVER YOU NEED. WHATEVER YOU WANT. INSHALLAH IT WILL BE ACCEPTED. ALLAH IS MERCIFUL. DO NOT SELL HIM SHORT BY SAYING HE WONT ANSWER YOU.HE WILL INSHALLAH. THE DAY OF ARAFAH IS WHEN SOMEONE FASTS ON THE DAY BEFORE EID UL ADHA WHICH IS NEXT WEEK I BELIEVE NOT SURE.

    WATCH THIS. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSvi3x9NZH8&feature=related
    watch the 28th minute from on there.

  42. salaam sis/bro

    i love someone soo much i cant explain how much...but his totally changed now n also me ,but i cant forget him thats why i cant marry with other person.i have so much memmry with him that i cant forget. we r sepreat since 3years.can u help me to forget him or get back him inshaAllah

    • Dear Friend (sister in islam),

      I do not understand your situation fully but If you are about to marry somebody else while having feelings for this boy then you should not marry someone else. But if you are not then, you should make dua to Allah, loads and loads, for He shall answer you as long as you do not become impatient with Him because He is the only One that can give you what you ask, imposibble as it may be. But realize that God's Will is what will without a doubt happen.

      I realize how hard it is to let go of someone you love and care about deeply. But sister, you should know that guys will be guys and girls will be girls but at the end of the day the one who loves you will come back to you because they realize and they do not want to be without you in their life. I feel that is the truth. Sometimes guys only "act" as they care or they may use you and they dont really love you. Sometimes i cannot tell which guy is being honest with me but you have to not be so attatched and you have to PUt your trust in God and Entrust Him with your affairs and you will come to realize that God will never dissapoint you or any servant of His that places their trust in Him.

      Sometimes some guys are jerksand you have to see that this boy you care about so much, did he ever think to call or communicate with you? Does he care about you? You cant force yourself on people and YES you may be able to get this guy back by reading wazeefas or reading a lot of different surahs or something like that .....but theres no much point in that because you have to let destiny take its course and what is decreed for you will surely come to you. Put your trust in Allah and you will find that Allah will present His mercy infront of you and He will answer you. I hope inshAllah it becomes easy for you if you are in a difficult situation rright now. Inshallah Allah swt will answer your duas soon, inshAllah.

  43. hi people i want 2 ask someting plz help me..

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  44. i have seen many people writing that don' t worry u will get someone else. as i myself am going through an issue know that getting someone else is no that easy, for some one else u have to completely change yourself. u have to completely have to think of a completely new life, new n different future,for a woman like me and many other is, not easy to think of someone else so easily,as the new person not only bring new life it bring with it new and totally different feeling of intimacy and sex life which is not easy to have,to see a another person over u, and still you try to find ur previous husband in the new man.
    from the sisters post u can tell that although she has been cheated still she is willing to take him back, as i am willing to take my husband back despite what he has done to me,because it is not easy to think of someone else let alone adjusting to a new man. i know a woman divorced in the age of 20 and there is still another woman who become widow at the age of 18 when i use to ask them that u r young why don't u marry again,they use to say that it is easy for u to say but it is very difficult to go thru. man find it easy but for woman its too difficult...

    hope you are getting my point.

  45. Be patient and always use this dua

    :" Innaa lillahi Wa innaa Ilayhi ra-jiown. Allahumma! a'hjurney fiy musibatiy wa akhluf liy khayran minho" Truly we are from Allah and to Allah we shall return. O Allah! reward me for the trials that happened to me and substitute for me ( a better husband) than him.

  46. وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُون

    You dislike that your husband or wife abandoned you which may be good or better for you and that you love him/her to come back to you which may be bad for you. Well, Allah said:وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

    But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. Alqur'an, Surah Baqarah 2: 216.

  47. Dear All,

    Salam

    PLease provide me the dua as soon as possible....i dont want to miss ma brotehr ans my guy...please provvde me a dua pleaase

    • Ziba,

      I have deleted your other comment. Please log in and submit your question as a separate post.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • The power is not in the dua, it is within the faith of the supplicant who calls upon God and no other being.

      1-La ilaha illa Anta (none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You (above all that evil they associate with You), Truly, I have been of the wrong doers.". This is the verse that Prophet Yunus (as) kept on reciting over and over and if he had not done so, then he would have remained in the whale that had swallowed his whole. In the Holy Quran, Allah (swt) says that "Had he not been of them who glorify Allah, he would have indeed remained inside its belly (the fish) till the Day of Resurrection. But We cast him forth on the naked shore while he was sick and We caused a plant of gourd to grow over him. And We sent him to a hundred thousand people or even more, and they believed; so We gave them enjoyment for a while. (Ch 37:139-148 Quran).

      In other words, ALLAH (swt) saved Prophet Jonah from the calamity which he was in. And keep in mind that Prophet Jonah had wronged himself but then he repented to God, and God is Most Generous and He will forgive you and answer your supplication so long as you call upon HIm alone. So God, out of His mercy, saved Prophet Jonah from the horrible fate which he had bought upon himself, but due to his repentance, he was forgiven and his dua was answered even in such a diffcult and impossible case. May God bless you and shower loads and loads of success, happiness, wisdom, and love in to your life very soon.

  48. Salam sister Z,
    i want to read older posts of dua for baby boy how can i do that

  49. Dear SisterZ,

    Already did it

  50. As salaam alaykum i have read just about every post and it touched my heart deeply, i realized i am not alone. I am trying to get my wife back and she is the love of my life. She wants to divorce and we have been separated for 4 months, she doesnt respond to my emails or nothing. I see that she has a facebook now and she adds other men and speak to them as well. This is killing me inside. She doesnt even want to go to the Imam or shiek to get help. She tells me she would go but then she disappears, its like she wants me to suffer. She is not wearing hijab properly or covering her body properly since she went back to school. At first she said she wanted space and when she went back to college she said she want a divorce she is being really mean to me and treating me like i dont exist as if i never did anything for her. She treats me her husband like an enemy. I pray for Allah to bring her back.

  51. Dear brother & sister,
    please pray for me, i had relation for more than 5 years, my girl friend broke with me,

    i am in pain, i wish to get her back,and get married to her,

    please pray for me,

    please i beg you all.

    love is beautiful and also it involves risk and pain.

    with love
    a.s.prasad

    • Dear brother Prasad

      Please hang in there. I will pray for you that everything works out for the best.

      In the meantime, try and get on with your life and do not put your life on hold, not for anyone. So focus only yourself and look after yourself. Seek out your family and friends for support, or try something differentto take your mind off the matter.Keep busy and active.

      If there is someone who is a mutual friend may be they can step in, but do not push it, give it abit of time,before you try to contact partner.See if you can talk and sort it out.

      Having said that everyone derserves to be loved unconditionally, valued and respected , and if this is not there then there are problems. Also trust is essential and finally everyone has arguments,but this should not be areason to leave someone. If it is then something is wrong and maybe the other person wants to leave,but did not have the heart to say so.

      Please hang in there,because we should always hope and trust that whatever will happen will be for the better.

      Take care.

  52. Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters. A couple of years ago I was in a dilema over dua and kismet. If dua is said to get you whatever you ask Allah (and that which is acceptable to him) then where does kismet come in? Also, the concept of suicide being haram did not fall in line with kismet. If it had been written why would it bee haraam. I spoke to a number of people who are mashallah experts on parts of deen. I was told that there are things that have been written and connot be changed. For example the family one will be born into is written and unchangebale. However there are things that are like blanks that are filled in from time to time. And one's dua can make the outcome of those blanks.

    Then somebody explained what kismet really is and it all became clear. Kismet is not pre-destination, its is pre-knowledge. Allah has pre-destined the outcomes of every route/decision you take. But which rout you will take has been left up to you (free will) since you are human and the best of all species you have been given choices. The outcomes of those choices have been written. For example, if you choose to commit theft the outcome has been written, if you choose not to commit theft there will be another outcome which has also been written. It like a road map. If you chose to turn right you will land up at a different destination and if you chose to turn left your destination will be different. The choice is up to you but the destinations already exist. You cannot change the destinations at the end of each road but it is up to you to decide which road to take and thus which destination to arrive at. In order to help chose the right road and eventually at the right direction Allah has given us the Quran. And if you still find yourself unable to decide, make dua, that will make you chose the right road.

    May Allah keep us on the right path and take us to the best of destinations!

  53. Sr. Ayesha
    You are contradicting yourself when you say in one sentence after the other that: "If you chose to turn right you will land up at a different destination and if you chose to turn left your destination will be different. The choice is up to you but the destinations already exist."
    From what I understand is this: eg you have to get to work, and Allah has written that you will got to work that day, you have the free will to choose to walk or drive there, and you have the will to go by the usual route or decide to take a new route, but at the end, you will end up at work, which was the destination written for you.
    Using words like "kismet" actually confuses people and is more of a cultural word - 'qadar' is the correct word for what is pre-destined for us by Allah.

    Salam

  54. i m crying since more then one year.24/7 .
    everyday is same for me.b4 i used to b so happy..bt all of a sudden one person comes into your life fill it wid colors and then pours black color on it... and in a second things change completely .being nice and to love someone wid whole heart can b so worse i came to know it now.
    I dont want to comment anything about God as its a long lasting debating topic which wont end.
    few believe and few don't.
    Everyday i m dying wid dis pain which is so hard to handle ..i cant sleep my heart aches alot. trust me it pains like hell.
    i cant forget my past even if i try to keep myself busy . everyone has his own ideas for tackling this kind of problem.and i tried most of them but nothing works.
    now one may say its all upon you shri ..but its not upon me its upon my heart ..mind is not playing game here as all of a sudden dis heart starts to pain ..now it pains most of the time in a day b4 it used to pain when i used to go to bed bt nw i m awake early morning bcause of dis pain...cant concentrate on anything.

    suicide is what comes in my mind...i dont want to die but i cant get this pain out of my heart. i feel i should die once as dis pain is uncontrollable..i cant forget her.i love her alot.

    i need help .... i want to live... but if this pain continues den i m going to end it up b4 end of this feb.

    • Dear Shri,

      The poet Emily Dickinson once wrote, "Parting is all we need to know of Hell." It is a hell that you have endured this past year and it has thrown you into despair. I'm afraid it has led you into depression, as well. You may need to seek medical advice, so please see a doctor or counselor and tell them of your depression that is causing you physical pain.

      Physical pain stemming from emotional pain is common among those people who have truly loved and is a sign that our emotions are powerful and can overtake us. What you need to understand however is that you can control these emotions by doing one thing: moving on. Yet, what does "moving on" mean?

      For many of us, this means that we must find another person to fall in love with again. Though many people would proclaim this would be impossible for them, it's not true. In fact, though you may carry some memories with you through time of an old love, they will diminish by a new love that will shower over you and cleanse your heart to be pure and in love again. So it's important that you can love someone else and fall deeply in love with them through the sanctity of marriage. And just as importantly, that you must fall in love again to give yourself happiness and return that gift to another person who would be willing to call herself your wife.

      It's also important to understand that love will never be perfect. At times, it will take us on the highest of highs and the plunge us into the lowest of lows. It can be like a roller coaster ride, scaring you and giving you exhilaration all at the same time. The key of course, is to hold on to what you believe and to what you know will be in joy and sometimes, pain.

      After a year however, it's time to get to grips and say, 'Okay, I will love again." This is a conscious decision and must be met with a honest and open heart. You will have to risk everything that your heart can feel, triumph and tragedy, but in order to gain what you may have lost, and in fact to gain something more, true love, you must decide to go on.

      This is from my own mother: There is someone out there right now, pouring her eyes out in tears, begging for God to bring her a husband, someone to love and whom she can love. At that time, God looks down knowing that you are for her.

      The question becomes: do you know that you can be that person, too?

      It's part of your life to find that special woman, who will take care of your heart and whose heart you can take care of in return. Make today your first step towards walking onto that path by turning the page and closing the book on that old love. Stash it away on your mental shelf and finally say, "good bye."

      There are over 3 billion females on this planet. Trust me, there's another woman for you to love, too.

  55. Thank you Professor X for ur advice..
    i have been to Dr..bt they give anti depression tablets and sleeping pills.
    now i m fed of dem..
    i dont want to take another chance as i dont want to ruin someones lyf..i dont want to try and experiment something in love..
    as dat may hurt the one who will b wid me..
    feb is d last month this is wat now comes in my mind.
    end of feb i will do something that i really dont want to do..
    i cant find anyway out of this pain.

    • I really pray that i have misinterpreted what youve said in the post above. If i am not wrong than i pray that you do not harm yourself! If you need someone to talk to, reach out! Ive been in a olace where i have not only considered but acted on the urge and its the worsenfeeling afterwards when u realize what you were considering doing to ur family and your creator. Please be safe!

    • Those who commit suicide end up in Hellfire because it is a sin to kill yourself. So, dear brother, would you want to suffer even after you die from the pain that this one person has caused you? There is Mercy all around you, just open your eyes and maybe you will see what Allah has in store for you, perhaps something greater than your mind can comprehend? But of coarse, i cannot say you will end up in hell, Only Allah can judge.

      Put your trust in God, and He (through his infinite mercy) will appear in front of you. Take care.

    • Dear Shri,

      You should recite or listen to Surah Muhammed. This surah protects from insanity, I'm sure it will help you for sure, inshAllah, no matter what emotional problem has consumed you whole.

  56. My advice wasn't for more pills, but to seek actual counseling, whereby you are able to explain exactly what is paining you, and gain empathetic guidance. Pills are a band aid to a open wound, so please seek counseling where you are actually able to speak to someone, as you mentioned you do not speak to many people. I would advise you to join a halal means to find some friends.

    If you feel in control of your life that you could actually plan a time for suicide, then why not get back in control to do more, instead? You take the stance that you would hurt someone, but again, this is something that you do not know. Only God does. Regain faith in Him and yourself, that there is a greater possibility for a greater part of your life to come.

    Also, don't just value yourself on loving someone else. You need to move beyond a certain love like this because it has become an obsession for you, which is very unhealthy and unwise. God tells us repeatedly that this world is temporary and as such, what is in this world will come and go, live and die, because it was not really ours' to begin with.

    Try this: pour water into the palm of your hand and try to keep any from spilling. As you know, this is impossible to do. Yet, pour more water in your hand and grip it tightly. It escapes. And one last time, pour water over your hand and see if you can absorb it. You will not. That is what this world and the life we live in it is essentially, something we neither can hold onto or keep forever in our control.

    So you need to manifest a love beyond your primordial being. Learn to love the environment around you, perhaps disadvantaged children and help the the community you live in. Create a world around you, however small, that is built on that greater love which asks and expects nothing in return. Volunteer at an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, an orphanage, or a local beatification program. In short, become a loving asset to the world you live in as a means of returning back the blessings God has given you everyday.

    You still continue to wake up every day, you can see the world with your eyes and you, unlike much of the world has access to the internet. You are more advantaged than many other people, so use this time and gifts to give back in gratefulness of what you may often forget: that you have something to give.

    Think about this and then do something that helps others. That is a part of love, too.

  57. Asalaam u alaikum

    i want one paticularly dua for love and respect by my husband because my marriage life is in troubles and tention the reason is he can't trust me and making a issues in my any word and he break my relation with my parents and sister and brother even though i acpect every thing and i am doing every thing according to him but even thoug he can't trusting me i cant tell u the full matter but iam somuch in troble pls help me i thing u understand my problem pls give me some dua or ayaat to read to change my husband mind he love me and trust me.

  58. Salam to everyone,

    Does Allah always favor the ishtikara toward the person that someone will marry or does performing ishtikara bring about the events that are inevitably going to proceed the persons life anyways? I am confused, but i hope someone understands what i am trying to say.

  59. I think I'm the only one in here who mended my own heart with the guidance of ALlah.... And realized it was a trap from shaytaan ... He used one of my weekest points yet he Thot he was smart but he didn't knw my weakest point which is Allah...

  60. @ haniya aww thats so true and thats cute!l :) that just filled my heart with love, ur right the relationship we have with our lord is beyond words no person can be compared with that. he is our best friend .
    dear brothers and sisters im going through the worse time in my life as well
    my story is such that i have known a person for 5 years we were living in different parts of the world and thn he moved here in the city where i was living and things were perfect but things started becoming worse his parents sometimes approved sometimes disaproved . i was never the kind of person that i prayed 5 times at all, i was in a relationship before i met this person and it ended pretty badly i ended up feeling like an emo and i was depressed i tried to cut my wrist got stitches and ate pills well thats a long story i was miserable its all a blur in my memory now. but when i met this person i felt in my heart like hes the one things were perfect and i felt like God gave me a second chance and he knows iv been through a heart break once he wont let me go through it again why? because hes not unjust and he cares about us more then 70 mothers would. well thn things started becoming worse his parents have never met me though but they disaproved of me they sometimes aproved smtimes disaproved he broke up with me and i dont knw one day wen i felt like nothing is working i jst started praying and i made that a habbit no matter how messed up mentally physically i felt i pushed myself to get up to pray to cry in sajda for hours i started reciting Allahs names and i felt in my heart this emptyness this void filling. i became closer to God i felt i was blind all along i was sleeping for years had i turned to him like dis so many years ago things would become better. well after a month or two he startd texting me calling me and telling me the gud news that his mother was asking about me . things became better and than after some time a year passed something like dis happened again another issue poping up and all related to his family and again he broke up with me i prayed and cried and did talawat and things mashallah got better again a year like dis passed things were prety fine and his mother wanted to approach our family and thn just like this one fine day his parents became a bit hesitant and wanted to get istikhara before approaching us and it came bad and he broke up again and thn i prayed again for a long long time there was no answer coming for me and thn one day it did he messaged telling me that his mother has agreed but his dad hasnt so we stil stayed together we waited for his dad to make a decission and he said no straight away and just didnt listen to him or any kind of reasoning and thn his mother again became against me for God knows what reason what doubts she has when she has never met me or anything. and it has been almost 5 years iv known him . and i know in my heart im a good person and even in our religion judging someone uv never met is wrong and i knw God will help me through it becz neither do i hv any bad intentions for his parents neither for him i stil respect his parents even after theyv made me go through so much pain of agreeing and disagreeing

    now heres what i think tel me if im wrong u get an istikhara done when ur not sure about someone or something not when u already know someone for years and have love feelings for somebody and have already made a promise to each other. secondly u dont get an istikhara done u do it urself , thirdly not someone else has the right to do it for two people not unless dey want to.

    i often wonder what i should at this point but when i look back i see everytime i asked for help ALLah helped me if he wasnt meant for me my prayers wont be answered to. do i really need a bigger sign than that im only hopeful cz of God nd im only stronger because of him i will not cut myself i will not sit in a corner and pity myself like i have done so many years ago i will rely on him and i will be hopeful because he alone can help me

    dear brothers and sisters i tried hard to exactly explain my situation i cudnt wrap it all up in this its very complicated but i just wish that things become better this time permanently, there have been to many rukawatay in my life i just want to breathe now knowing where i stand for good, please pray for me that his parents approve and my struggle is over and i succeed. though i try to be strong everyday im stil an ordinary human i ache inside pretty bad . please if theres any surah u can tell me to recite let me know il be very grateful and il pray for everyone on this page that may ALLah help all of you and answer your prayers. Ameen

    • Syeda, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Asalaam alaikum,

        Short answer: if a man, any man, is making a woman wait five years to get married with the excuses he is giving you, then he doesn't have enough respect for you and/or enough backbone to be a good husband in the long run.

        My opinion is that Allah (swt) has been trying to show you this with every instance of this man's weak attempts at follow through. I think this man is just another in a long line of the man-child syndrome of those males who refuse to do anything serious with their life unless their parents hold their hand all the way.

        It's time to admit that the inner desire for marriage is clouding your judgement and to pursue another man who would not hesitate to wait so long to marry you and bring joy love and happiness to your life. The few people I know who waited this long to get married, seldom did. They married others instead and this recently happened in a couple that I knew last year who wasted nearly 6 years of their life. Those that did marry, raised their expectations to such a level that it is possible that they will be disappointed.

  61. aslamualykum
    i want one dua from u.My husband lefit me we are getting seprated from 2 year with my husband . I have two little daughters i have lots of problems in my marriage life plz give me some dua .plz help me plz give me some dua i am in a big trouble plz help me in begining my husband love me a lot bt when i get kidney problem he left me out but knw i m absolutely fit and fine but know he dont love me at all plz sir give me some dua i want my husband back for my daughters
    allah hafiz..

    • femina, a man who would leave you because you got ill is disloyal and despicable. This is not someone who knows what it is to love. I think you are better off without him.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  62. @ Syeda - can u please update ure situation? Has eevryone agreed.? im pretty much in same situation as ures

  63. Great information :)

  64. ussalamualaikum,
    My husband left me almost two years ago and now he is back and he wants me start our life again.

    (Remainder of comment deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  65. Salam,
    I don't know whether my message belongs in this category ... But I'll relate it nonetheless.
    I had been in a long distance relationship with someone for the last 2 years, and we recently broke up about 3 months back. Due to a lot of issues. FiRst off she was white, I'm Asian. She was Christian I'm Muslim. Then we had cultural issues, language barriers and the whole nine yards. Not me mention her parents didn't like me for the fact that I was Muslim.
    We had no problems with one another , but ultimately the ppressure of all this took a toll on or relationship.
    Tthough she has moved on with her life and is doing well , I on the other hand have been going on a downward spiral eversince. I can't seem to focus on anything, I am constantly depressed and hav totally isolated my self. The funny thing is just a month before our break up I had prayed Istikharah and asked Allah for guidance if we were a right match.... I guess our break up was an answer to that question. I know with Istikharah we are suppose to put out trust in Allah, and believe that whatever is the outcome, it is good for us. Yet, I can't seem to digest that idea.
    I pray regularly and make dua that my situation should change , but I feel as though my duas go in vain. I constantly am thking of her. At times I fee like what's the point of even making any duas or even praying since my conditions aren't changing.
    Pleaseadvice. Any dua to ease with depression or heartache.

    • Aamir,

      I understand how you are feeling. But the nature of this relationship was wrong to start off with, so there is going to be heartache and depression. We disobey Allah, yet we expect our hearts to be fixed up straight away. No my brother, it takes time, sincerity and attachment to Allah.

      If you don't turn to Allah now, where will you go? There is no running or hiding. Ultimately we are all going to Allah. So better to make it easier for yourself and turn that way now. The more you persevere, the easier it will become and you'll find that being close to Allah is actually nothing to be frightened of, it'll give you peace and sweetness.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Dont feel sad, i will tell you something. I really cared about someone and i was afraid to make ishtikara on marriage because i was afraid of the answer i guess but i had a dream that I am certain was from Allah because ive never had such an extraordinary dream like that before and in that dream,
      What im trying to say is that i had a dream that everything went wrong FIRST just like you are thinking of your situation , then after i made dua to Allah to remove it as it was unbearable to me but no answer from Allah came, but then i made dua once more and everything was lifted all the troubles and everything you can imagine.
      I think that Allah wants to see if you keep on calling to Him AND not lose hope and have faith, maybe soon all will be will with you inshallah and something can happen out of the blue...you never know, dont forget that Allah cant remove anything in an instant, it is easy for Him. Do not doubt God, He knows your condition better than you do.

      Remember If you submit to Allahs will, He will give you what you want. It is easy for Him to give you what you desire if He knows there is good for you in it, no one knows what will happen tommorrow so dont lose hope and become depressed, Stay strong be a warrior =D

  66. i have recently separated and i think of which will lead a divorce from my ex wife...

    (Remainder of comment has been removed. Brother imran, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  67. My dear sister i think if you think he will change & will love you for what you are then you should wait for him i know your hurt but trust me i never cheated on my wife but we had a argument n she has gone i believe in allah swt that he will bring us together it was my mistake the argument happened becouse of me i talk over the phone to her and making her realising i made a mistake and it wont happen again her brother did get guys and jump me but still that was not her fault i love my wife she wants to come back but i had got the police involved for what her brothers done to me she wants me to drop the charges and she said she will come then i'm scared to do that but only for her am goin to drop the charges because i love her i cant be with any 1 else i only belong to her and trust me sister he will come to u 1 day just pray to allah swt that he comes back to u & loves u & please pray for me that my wife does come back am in pain without her i love her too much i always cry for her. think my sister after her brother jumping me with guys myself and my family begged her to come back but she said drop the charges and then ill come but for my beautiful & lovely wife am gna drop the charges for her.. i havent lost no hope of her not coming back to me but please do all pray for me & for every1 whos hurt & in trouble razaq allah......