Can I get married while I am pregnant? please help
(Al-Baqarah 2:286) "No soul shall bear the burden (of sin) of another"… (Al-Israa’17:15) The hadith which mentions that an illegitimate child will not enter Paradise is fabricated.
Salaam,
I am very upset. I am 26 and have been with a Muslim man now for 8months, he has a wife I have accepted that and am willing to be his second wife (inshallah) we need to know do I have to wait till I have had this baby or is it allowed in Islam to get Nikkah done now?
I understand if I have my baby out of wedlock it will never make it to Jannah and this scares both of us, my sister got married 2months ago and she didn't spend a month apart from her partner nor did I when I got married before...
Please anyone who can help me with my question, as there is only 3weeks left till Ramadan.
And know marriage is not allowed in that holy month... please help.
I am 3months pregnant and we want to do the right thing in the eyes of Allah
- izzat26
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My sister, Asalaamualaikum,
I can hear the desperation in your words, may Allah forgive you and envelop you with His Mercy and Protection - Aameen.
I am quite certain that performing nikah during Ramadaan is not forbidden. The only reason why I would
avoid doing nikah in Ramadaan would be so I could focus completely on fasting instead of being distracted by wedding preps etc. If the wedding ceremony does not distract one from fasting and praying, I do not see why there should be a prohibition on doing nikah. This is my understanding, so if anyone else knows otherwise, please write in.
Furthermore, you said that if your baby is born out of wedlock, he/she will never enter Jannah. Sister this is completely untrue and totally against Islamic teachings. Allah tells us many times in the Quran that we are all responsible and accountable for our own sins and actions and no soul carries the burden of another's sins. Your child will be born completely innocent and pure inshaAllah; the child is not responsible for your and his father's sins.
Sister, with regards to your question 'can I do nikah whilst pregnant', I do not know the answer. I will advise you to see a qualified imaam/mufti about this.
You havent mentioned anything about your family, do they know of your situation, are they helping you? Is the father of your child happy to support you emotionally, financially? I understand that you are in a difficult situation and feel that marrying this man will help you, but be careful of your future choices. The last thing you want to do is try to do is fix the bad situation you are in now with another bad decision, as you are aware this man is already married. So I hope you will receive the support and companionship you need through marrying this man.
Sister I am sure you are fully aware that zina is a major sin in Islam and unfortunately you are going through this extremely difficult time now as a result. Please turn to Allah completely and seek His repentance. If you seek repentance sincerely, this difficult time will pass and Alllah will be Merciful to you. You are having a child, vow to dedicate your child to Allah's path. Try not to rush into anymore bad decisions. If your family are helping/supporting you, alhumdulillah. If you can help it, avoid rushing into marriage until you know it is the best thing for you and your child to come.
May Allah help you dear Sister, may He forgive you and make your child a blessing for you,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor
Sister "izzat26", you need some Islamic education. As SisterZ said, these ideas that you have about Islam are completely wrong. I don't know who is feeding you this false information. Whoever it is, is either ignorant about Islam, or is trying to complicate your life.
1. There is nothing wrong with getting married in Ramadan, although as SisterZ said it's not customarily done because people are focused on worship, but it is certainly not prohibited.
2. You are totally, absolutely wrong about a child born out of wedlock not getting into Jannah. No child carries the sins of his/her parents. Every child is born pure. See the article I recently posted on Zawaj.com, Rights of children born out of wedlock.
3. There are different rulings about marriage while pregnant from zinaa (fornicatin or adultery). It depends on the exact situation. In your case, since the person you committed zinaa with is also the father of the child, there is no prohibition against getting married while you are still pregnant.
Here is a fatwa issued by the Egyptian Darul Ifta' (House of Fatwa):
"It is unanimously agreed that an adulterer/or fornicator is allowed to marry the adulteress/or the fornicatrix he impregnated. If she gave birth to a child six months after the marriage, the child is legitimately his. If the child is born less than six months after the marriage, it is not, unless the man admits that the child is his, even if he does not disclose having an affair with the woman. This admission is held as an evidence of the adulterer's fathering the child for the probability of a previous marriage. The wisdom behind that is to secure a Muslim's best interest and attempt to preserve the woman’s honor."
Sister, you have also not said anything about doing tawbah (repentance) for your behavior, or stopping the sin. You need to be aware that zinaa is a serious sin in the eyes of Allah.
I recommend that you do a sincere repentance to Allah, and separate yourself from this man until (or if) you are married.
I also echo SisterZ's concerns about family involvement and the risk of making bad choices out of desperation.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I can't find this proof anywhere I've been all over this website please help
Proof of what?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I am interested in this website..
Asalaamualaykum,
Further to all the points made above, I want to add that 'Izzat26' - your post should serve as a reminder to us all about the importance of adhering to the laws and guidelines set by Allah.
It is only when we stray that we find ourselves in such difficult and dire situations. Everyday, when we pray our
five daily salaah, we recite Surah al Fatiha in which we make a dua asking Allah to guide us to the straight path, the path of those whom He has chosen, not the path of those who have angered Him and gone astray.
Surah al Fatiha is the opening surah of the Quran, immediately after this in the next chapter, Surah al Baqarah, we find the answer to our dua. Allah tells us that He has sent us this Book (al Quran) as a guidance and Allah tells us the believing ones are those who believe in the Unseen, who perform Salaah, who spend of what Allah has provided and who believe in what was revealed in the Quran and before it.
With Ramadaan nearing, lets all take this opportunity to take responsibility and take time to read, understand and implement the detailed guidance that Allah has given us in the Quran.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor
I agree SisterZ, the laws and rules laid down by Allah are there to make our lives easier, not harder. Some people think that following the rules of Islam is a burden, but the reality is that it's when we ignore Allah's laws that our lives become complicated and distressed.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salaam my brothers and sisters thank you for all the much needed advice, since i posted my question, i have got married to the father of my unborn child, and am in repent to Allah for my past actions.... my family are ok with me being married and pregnant... however his family are not... as to the fact he has already got his first wife at there home, i am more then happy to be his 2nd wife and now am... its his right if he can (and he does) do justist between both of us... 🙂 i feel as if a big weight has been lifted off my head and am now a wife as to living in sin..... i also knw in my heart that my unborn wouldnt be punished for my mistake.. however i was lead to blive otherwise by my sisters and other people...
Wasalaam Izzat
hi, i am in exactly the same situation you were in... really need to talk to someone who has been in this situation! as his family would never accept us being married either, how did you cope with that? we are going to do nikaah in the next week... i am very worried on how his family will react. please write back i need your help!
Asalaamulaykum sister,
I know i am reaching you very late, but i thought i would message you since i've also been in the same situation & it was very difficult to cope with not being accepted, but alhamdulillah we pulled through & was able to get married now & living happily, i can understand how you must feel not being able to talk to anyone, as i had no one else to speak to.
Wasalaamalaykum
Aliyah.H
(Editor's note: I deleted your email address, as it's not allowed to post contact info here. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)
Sorry sister safina I tried attaching my email address on the last comment but the editor of this page won't allow me to put my email address on. Wish i could have helped
Asalamu aleikum.
Bothers and sisters jazaakallah for your advise to society and
your sacrificing of your time.
I am extremely happy to read all of your advise to our sister and her taking this advise.
May Almighty Allah make us in this Adunya "one of those who take the best when they hear
something".
Jazaakallah.
my sister is kind of in a situation like this. maybe on of you can help since obviously yall were able to help her. (mashallah. and am happy for u too =). my sister is 6 months pregnant with a muslim man. everything is out in public already. the only problem is we are trying to arrange the nikkah but can they do nikkah while shes pregnant?
please help me asap, because were already getting things ready for the nikkah and so on.
Thank you =)
Aliya, the answer is yes, they can get married while she is pregnant. Before marriage both of them should make sincere tawbah for the sin they committed.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
is there a possibility that you could provide some proof (via the Quran) for being able to marry while pregnant?
Is that true if she is brignant by slmeone else other than the person she is marrying?
brother, when you say its permissible, what are you referring to as a proof?
اليس من شروط الزواج ان لا تكون الزوجه حامل؟
as salaamu alikom brothers and sisters.alhamdulilah i have found this website.inshaAllah i hope that i get any answer since i have sort of a similar situation as the sister above.i have been married to my husband for ever 5 years and have 3 young children together.he is egyptian so we live in egypt.we have had a rough marriage and for the past 11 months, we have been seperated keeping contact because of our children.at the beging of the seperation,we began the process in the family courts that i would not return to his home and he wrote a contract that he would divorce me in less than a month,but never did.since it was my desision to leave his home due to X reasons,i have let the children stay with him through out the week while i work to survive and then i take them on the weekends. My point is,that i made the horrific mistake of living alone,and got into a haraam relationship for a few months.i became pregnant as a result.the man turned out to be abusive and would leave me for weeks at a time and then return literally twisting my arm forcing marriage with me,and if i didnt comply he would go to my work and accuse me with being with many men.in those times that he would leave me,(since he was practicly living in my home) in desperation and after consulting with some friends whom i thought were knowledgable,told me it was fine to find a husband fast since techniqly i was not with my husband anymore.I met some 3 men in public that had wanted to marry me and knew my entire situation.it never felt right and in all of this time,i couldnt bring my self to make a single salah let alone istikhara since i thought i was too sinful.alhamdulilah,they all showed their true colors very soon and i realized none of them wanted a seriouse marriage with me.I researched on line a month and a half ago to find fatwahs concerning my situation and thought if i make tawbah and begin a clean slate perhaps the father of my unborn baby might be the right one for me and i told him my new improved thinking and he agreed that we would do it together.not one week passed and he was forcfully trying to get back into my apartment.i hesitated but i failed and Allah swt put this test to see if i was sincere about my repentance.I FAILED.i told him i never wanted to see him again and told him to leave the next morning.in this one last night he was with me,he stole all my numbers out of my mobile and later i found out he interviewed the 3 men that i had talked to about marriage.he became so jelouse that he even called my girl friends and coworkers and my (ex)husband and sent msg's on my jobs website to exposse me as a whore that played with many men.i ended up telling my (ex)husband everything in detail and told him that i would give him the legal custody of our children and i remade my tawbah that day.I told him that i was ready for any punishment in this dunya from him since legaly he had right and that my life was so in ruin that i didnt know what to do.i forgave me and said that this man i had an affair with had to leave the picture,and that in due time,he would deal with him.in this past month i lost my job and this man harassed me some more by giving out my number to many unknown men that stopped in a week. i realized the great man that my (ex)husband is and have began feeling love for him like i never did in our marriage time.i didnt appreciate or respect him enough to see how merciful he is and that he might love me.i have prayed that he would take me back,but he has made it clear that he will stand by me (still being seperate) until the baby is born and prtect me away from this man.to his islamic knowledge we have concluded that the baby will take his name and that i will be able to keep the child with me at all times and that we must never tell our children that this baby doesnt belong to him rather that they are all siblings and where produced by me and him.I feel desperate since it is a great help that he has sided with me when all the world has felt to be tummbleing on me,but i still feel so afraid.i want to be married,being under the complete protection of a man in his home for the spritual,emotional and economical support.i am in my 6th 1/2th of pregnancy and have no income,no husband,no friends, and i have no idea of what to do next.i fear that this man since i am not from this country,will pay off the hospitals since he know the due date and will try to take the baby away,he also told me that he would take me to court if i interfeared in his life to accuse him of having a child with him and he will say that i slept and lured him to my bed so that they will give him the baby.my biggest fear as i have mentioned is of being alone as a muslim woman in a forigen country.please tell me what i should do next.
I forgot to mention, it is clear to me and my (ex)husband from conversations that we have had with the man that i had this relationship with,that he is very confused with what he wants.one day he wants marriage another day he threatens to kill me and another day he calls me crying saying that all he wants is to be away from me,but that he wants the baby to have his name.i dont want anything from this man and i dont want marriage to him.if he decideds later on that he wants to take the child from me,will he be able to?islamicly and legaly in egypt does my (ex) husband give him his name since he is sort of the owner of the bed?or does my baby take my name?and i forgot to mention that my (ex)husband said that a short time after my baby is born,he will divorce me and even though he will give him his name,he will have a legal contract saying that he is not responsible in any way of the baby and that it is all on me.
another question is after she is born,her rights remain the same to my understanding,but what are they?do i make her aquikah? if i die,whom does she go to?whos inheritance does she take?
i apologize for rambleing on like this,but it has been months of searching and deperation and i have only found very few answers since i have a unique problem.
jazakalahu khairun and barakahlahu kik to all that have the intention of answering and those that answer.
Jazakallahu khairun
asiyah, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother wael ... Can you please help me .... My id is getting blocked and unblocked again and again . I can post on some day but then it goes totally blank ... .... Did I do something wrong ??
I am in a similar postion as the above. Can someone advise where I can go to have the nikkah while pregnant.
My girlfriend is now in 5mth (Question deleted by Editor)
Brother,
Please log in and submit your question as a separate post.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
My girlfrd is now in 5mth nd i want do nikah with her
Brother,
I've already asked you to log in and submit your question as a separate post. Please do so and we will answer it most likely on the same day. Although I recommend you consulting your case with a qualified imam aswell.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sorry I'm confused how do you log in?
Please click on this link, you will be guided on how to register, log in and submit your question insha'Allah
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam, how do I write a seperate post?
it is important that we are not to give opinions about this situation, but rather follow the Islamic teaching. the answer to this question lies in the requirements of marriage.
anything out of those boundaries should be asked to a scalor.
Those who are quick to give fatwas are hasty in throwing themselves to the fire.
http://consult.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=showfatwa&Option=FatwaId&Id=213442
salam, iam impregnated by a muslim man but we are not married yet and im not a muslim woman and i know nothing about muslim, he want us to get married before the baby is born but my family who are black african want him to pay lobola (an African custom by which a bridegroom's family makes a payment in cattle or cash to the bride's family shortly before the marriage) or damages of the child first before i marry him, i want to marry him but i also dont want to disrespect my family culture cause him and his family dont believe in it and now its a conflict between both families.plz help me wat must i do
grace, we have the same custom in Islam of the groom making a payment to the bride. In Islam, however, the payment goes to the bride herself, not to her family. We call it a mahr.
I really cannot tell you what to do. You and this Muslim man have different religions and presumably different cultural backgrounds. This could present problems for you. On the other hand, you are having his child and I assume you have some feelings for him. It is a decision that you must make.
Why don't you look into Islam and learn the basics of our religion, and consider whether you might like to adopt it for yourself. I think this would smooth over many of the problems, at least within your marriage itself.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Wow, I cannot believe that do many "Muslims" are committing fornication and have the face to actually admit it , then others are coming fourth talking about it as though it is ok.
1) it is not ok and
2) Allah does punish those who are Muslims openly admitting sins and broadcasting this on social media.
3) repentance is the key and not to carry on committing the sin that is the way to gain forgiveness from Allah (swt). Only he knows your intentions of why you have done this and the outcome this will have on the mans wife and his family, unfortunately those are the people who suffer including the children involved. Desires come from the shaytaan and when one only knows desire then that is what the heart follows, which is not permitted in Islam as we all know haram desires are from shaytaan. It shows how as a world we are transgressing to primitive selfish desires - those such are compared to the actions of animals .
I think sister that Repentance is first and foremost, to be honest once repentance has been excepted , then Allah (swt) will guide you . I would not worry what "others" say etc as you were not focused on them whilst you committed sins.
The only one I would be worried about first and foremost is Allah (swt) and his punishment, once repentance is sincere and accepted then trust in Allah (swt).