Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I trust him and give him another try?

broken trust, trust, broken marriage, lies

Broken trust?

I met my ex husband in  march 2008 in morocco. I live in europe.

He is my cousin. We married the next year. And I got him to europe.

He was the sweetest man there was. I never felt more loved.

He started working very quikly elhamdoelilah and was good to me.

But slowly he started changing. We argued more and more and he wasnt like he used to be.

In 2010 I got pregnant and when I was 7 months pregnant, my brother died in a horrible way. Which till this day haunts me.

2 months later my baby boy was Born.

I became very depressed sad and angry. And he didn't understand and kinda felt I should get over it, meaning when I try to explain to him why I was like this he felt like I was using at an excuse. I felt very alone all so taking care alone of our son. Because at that time he was working 7 days a week.

He started to become very harsh with me and I with him.

On several occasions he left and came back. In January 2013 everything came to an end. I could not deal with the fact that my Son and I were not his priority and the way he treated me. I told him I want a divorce I am done. I really really could not take it anymore.

He begged and pleaded for a last chance. But I just couldn't anymore. He had broken something inside of me.

After that I went on holiday we were not officially divorced yet. After that in June 2013 he kept on saying I wanna come back but it never worked since then he has been saying he wants to come back and I open up but something always happens that made me change my mind. I love him very very much.

I found out that he has slept with someone else while we were separated and I was on vacation. I have asked a million times. And he always denied. 2 week ago he was here I found out a girl was calling him and I spoken with her. She claims they have been in a relationship for a year. He says they slept once together because he was so hurt over our divorce. And that she has been stalking him. I dont believe it because she really sounds sincere. Only Allah knows.

He is begging and saying he just wants to be with us and says he is sorry. When we married I don't believe he cheated on me. Only Allah knows.

I am so so mad at him and don't know what to do. Should I try to forgive and try it again? I am mad and hurt about the fact that he lied to me for 2 year and all the while he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me. To find out he had someone on the side makes me feel so cheap and so replacable to him. Since I have known I have been crying and sad. Of course doing a lot of dua to Allah. But I really want someone's point of view who is neutral.

So try again.

Or should I just walk away from him for once and for all.

I love him and he is the father of my child. And in heart he is a good man but I don't know if I ever can trust him and fear of course it won't work again and now my son is older. Please advice me brothers and sisters. Cruz your sisters in Deen is in need for you.

Thank you so much.

GA0103


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5 Responses »

  1. Ummm.... If you love him you should give him a last chance.. but last mean last. If he's sincere he will not hurt you ever again in this way. ALLAH loves those who forgive. You should try to forgive him but just once nd last time. Allah blessed you

  2. Assalamu Alaikum. So sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't really have much advice for you but making dua for you. Pray isthikara and Allah will guide you.

  3. Assalam alaikum,

    If your divorce is finalized, there is no chance of reconcilation.

    However, in the case it isn't, consider the following:

    Your husband claimed at first that he didn't sleep with a girl and later admitted to it (probably because you found out and he couldn't deny the facts) and says that he did so because he was hurt--now you love him, but keep in mind that if he is in your life, he will influence your son.

    If he repents, shows a change in behaviour and actions, you can give him a second chance with the understanding that if you feel the relationship is resorting to the same problems, you will consider ending it. How about asking him to go for counselling and committing to a list of things that were "deal-breakers" for you? Words are nothing, unless fulfilled.

    I don't believe anyone can tell you to not give him a chance or to give him a chance--- it is your choice--whatever you choose though, be careful and cautious.

    May Allah swt help you to repair your marriage, Ameen.

  4. Where is dua(wajifaa)

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