Can we do a secret nikkah?
Assalam,
I'm a muslim girl. In fact, I'm in love with a muslim boy. Our parents are very happy, but the problem is that we have not completed our studies so our parents have planned to get us engaged. We want to do nikah without letting anyone know about it, is it possible? Our parents will not agree and that's why we do not want to tell them.
-Aisha06
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Salaams,
Secret nikkahs are not permissable in Islam. To get married, you need your wali (presumably your father) to represent you. How could he do this if you don't involve him or tell him? You can't use another person as a wali unless there is a viable Islamic reason why your father cannot be one, which doesn't sound applicable here. A secret marriage without your wali would likely be an invalid marriage, not even accepted in the eyes of Allah.
You said your parents are supportive of the match, so what it boils down to is your impatience to get married. I assure you that marrying secretly is not going to make your parents more supportive of you and him being together, and since you already have that I suggest you don't do anything that would jeopardize it.
If you really feel that waiting until your studies are completed to marry is going to be a big problem (like you will be tempted to commit zina in the meantime), it's best to have an open dialogue with your parents and his to see if there are any other options. If you end up having to wait until then anyway, please be assured that this is something many young people do and it's going to secure a better future for you both if you comply.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
A comprehensive and sound advice given by sister amy
Assalam alaikum Sister,
You wrote:
The "we" is very concerning. Sister, please do not talk to this boy in privacy without the knowledge of your Wali. First of all, you risk incurring Allah's anger, so please be careful for your sake. Secondly, after getting you in confidence and building your trust, and then doing an unlawful secret Nikah, this boy could very well leave you after intimacy. Probably you will deny that he could ever do that, but this isn't impossible nor will it be the first or last time that it happens. I don't want to creat doubt in your mind regarding the boy, but he isn't your husband and shaitaan will do his best to entice the both of you to engage in unlawful relations before marriage and then deter you from lawful relations after marriage.
So it is best to stick to the correct path which is a publicly recognized marriage in order to protect yourself. As Sr. Amy already said, talk to your parents.
May Allah make your rightful Nikah possible with ease soon, inn shaa Allah, Ameen.
Assalam...thank u sister for ur advice....u r right...n we have decided to talk with our parents...n see whats their opinion and we are going to abide by whatever they say.....inshallah everything will b ok...do remember me in ur duahs plz
secret marriages? doing "nikkah" over the phone...
Firstly, it is GREAT how people are posting here for advice. Congrats to you. Now you know there is no such thing as a "secret marriage" or "doing nikkah over the phone" without WALI AND witnesses.
Regarding secret marriages? doing "nikkah" over the phone...
This is twisting what Allah has said to please yourself, i.e twisting Islam and re-inventing what Allah has prescribed to serve your needs. We all need to gain knowledge of our beautiful religion which promotes truthfulness, INTEGRITY, RIGHTS of both Women and Men, and KNOWLEDGE of our deen which when followed properly, makes life actually easier.
By twisting things around, you are only complicating matters and fooling/harming yourselves.
Marriage is a sacred bond that comprises of love, respect of each other and both families, agreement to persevere through hardships.
Do you honestly think your way is better than Allah's?
from Ayub Khan:
To: Questioner (Aisha)
if they agry then what is proplem. you can wait. if urgent then discas may be they agree.
but better to control ...I know it is very very hard....but pleaseee control