Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Canadian widow wants to marry a Muslim man from Tunisia, is it possible?

I am in my 40s and a widow I live in Canada. I lost my husband 2 years ago. About 6 months ago i met a muslim man on line. He is a kind, gentle, caring man and we fell in love and want to marry. He lives in Tunisia and i live in Canada. He is Muslim and. I am Anglican Christian. I have been thinking about converting to Islam.. I have been reading some and am wondering if we can marry under Islamic beliefs if. I am a widow.

When I married my late husband. I did take his last name. i know it says in the Quran to keep your fathers name. Should. I change my name back to my father's last name or do. I keep my late husband's or can. I take my new husband's last name? And my first name is a Canadian name should. I change it to a Muslim name? My name is Tammy.

I would like to marry my man in Tunisia in front of his parents and then again in Canada in a church in front of my Family is this possible? We are both willing to move to the other's country if need be or any were in the world so we can be together. He says Tunisia is a hard life, and because he is Muslim coming to Canada my cause a problem not sure what our options are? I hope you can help me.

- Tammy

23 Responses »

  1. As salam sister Tammy,

    i am not a scholar , but feel that there are some aspects where i can assist in your endeavor .

    Coming from saudi arabia to Canada myself, i know the intensity of the culture shock as a muslim one has to face (my father to this day after arriving here 11 years ago still has problems coping). That said, i think Canada is one of the best countries for a muslim to be in; Socially, culturally and economically.

    You will have to help your husband steer through alot of the stereotypes, cultural barriers and pschological adjustments one has to go through.

    One step at a time.

    Are you sound in your current situation (financially, mentally and socially)? I only ask cause of my concern for your overall well being if you commit to this relation without knowing issues that may arise.

    Second, does he have family in Canada? This could immensely help adjusting.

    I know i have not answered all your question but that is deliberate because i would not want to give you the wrong advise.

    May Allah help you in your Endeavor.

    Ameen

    Salam and peace be with you

  2. Hi

    You do not need to convert to Islam if you want to marry a Muslim. The Muslim men are allowed to marry outside of their religion in Tunisia. I've been to Tunisia many times, have many Tunisian friends and know of many Tunisian men married to British and other European women. Its pretty common for the men to marry outside of their religion however it does not necessarily mean that they will convert. Some do, some don't.

    I suggest going to visit the country first. Stay in one of the hotels and put him on the hotel reservation then you can stay together as locals are not allowed in the hotels unless they are registered guest.

    There are a lot of forums you can search for that can help you. You need to prove that you are free to marry, as a widow you will probably need your husbands death certificate or a letter from the court stating you are free to marry. There are a few other rules if you want to marry, such as spending 21 days in Tunisia before your wedding...Go onto Girlfriends of Tunisian...or something like forum and read some more.

    Basically you dont need to convert, its your choice and the Tunisian government is more liberal than some of the other Arab countries.

    I also suggest inviting him over here for a visit, thats one way to see if he would like it here.

    hope this helps
    Good luck

  3. "A-A" I am Muslim and belong to Pakistan. First of all when I read about your husband I have too much for that and I will pray for you & your family for better solution as your goodself wish. I will try to keep you happy for ever till the end of our life.

    I would like to invite your kind attention that if you want to marry, I am ready to undergo for any test or interview, if, you would like it. For further information kindly contact through my email address.
    With Best Complements, Salam to respectable Elders & Love to all Youngers. GOD BLESS YOU.
    "Allah Taala Aap sub ka aur Hamara Hami-o-Nasir Ho (Aameen)".

    Yours sincerely,

    RANA M. A. ANJUM
    ISLAMABAD PAKISTAN

    • Brother Rana, she's saying that she is in love with a man from Tunisia and wants to marry him, and your response is to offer yourself for marriage? What kind of idiocy is that? Really, I find that very annoying.

      And I stripped your email address from your comment.

  4. asalamu alaikum,

    rana please read what the sister is asking, so i suggest you re-learn your english from the basics.your stupidity will get you kno where.

    ma salama

  5. Hello to all,...well i came here for information regarding marriage to a Tunisian Man...i wish to marry my love Salah . I must wait , as marriage is not accepted during the Holy Ramadon . I must say i am kind of frustrated with reading so many stories of what is required and what is or isn't accepted ...my head is spinning...except i just had to have a good laugh after reading the above comments that were sent in by Rana M.J Anjum
    i myself was wondering what was being offered...LOL

    i spent quite a bit of time on the internet looking for where i could get a certificate of no Impediment...just to discover that it does not exist in U.S or Canada,and apparently i have to go to the Canadian Embassy in Tunisie to get a paper which is called an Affidavit of Eligibility to marry ...proving that i am free to marry..I am wondering how long it will take to get this paper...Will i have to wait a few days or will they give me this paper right away...I will only be in Tunisie for three weeks...Now i am also worried about a comment that i read above stating that it is compulsary, that i live in Tunisie for three weeks prior to the marriage. I really need to check this out..as my fiance did not mention any of this to me...He is thrirty seven and has never been married and he does not know all the papers that are required...but apparently there are many....what a nightmare...will we ever get through it...i am hearing diffrerent stories about how long it will take before his Visa is accepted...some say three months..today i heard six months...but then i read a story about a woman whos husband was just granted his visa after eighteen months...I really don't know what to expect and it's very difficult on my moral ...I want to be with him now...and i know i can't , and i am afraid of all the red tape that we have to cut through to be together....So this is why i am here...to pick up any info that i can...Right now i need confirmation about the 21 day stay in Tunisie prior to marriage....is this accurate...I am leaving behind a house ,three cats and a 17 year old son...and hoping that when i come back the house is still standing and the cats have not ran away...i don't know how much longer i could stay away , and i do need to plan my return plane ticket date in advance..Please email me with any helpful advise that you can give me about marriage in Tunisie...My biggest fear is...can he keep me in Tunisie after i marry him...i am not muslim..and he is...i just don't know what my rights are...Also i have a home and other assets , i am told that everything i own becomes joint and if something goes wrong he is entitled to half of everything i have...can i get a prenup paper signed..one that will hold up to Tunisie law...In Canada , we leave with what we came in with....the only thing that is separated should there be divorce is what was obtained during the marriage anything owned prior to the marriage is not to be split between husband and wife should there be a divorce...I have asked him to sign a prenup stating that he has no rights to my assets should we divorce and he is not very happy about that...i really don't think he would try to take anything from me...but i have had a few winners in my life and i didn't see a few things coming..so being the naieve Canadian that i am..i feel better protecting myself and not being sorry and homeless.....LOL should i laugh ,....or cry? i'll tell you in a year or two....LOL 😛
    thanks for reading please get back with any helpful info ..especially about prenup contracts validity in Tunisie... Shara Sahara..... my pet name!

    • kattrina, I can't give you much advice as I know nothing about marriage law in Tunisia. Also, we have many questions in the queue waiting to be answered. Just a quick word, it doesn't sound like you trust this man very much (you think he might hold you in Tunisia, you are afraid he will take half your assets) and I suggest that you need to think this through better and ask yourself seriously if this is the right man and situation for you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Hello Wael, thankyou for your response, ...in regards to whether i trust this man or not,...yes i do trust him very much, but i wanted to feel secure in knowing what my rights were, as Tunisie is not my country and i did not want to have any surprises down the road.I have heard of many nightmares, and marriages that did not work out where the couple were very nice to each other in the beginning but became very nasty afterwards, ...no one ever wants to think of what can or would happen if things would not work out,. I wanted to be realistic and view the possibilities whether they were positive or negative.I just arrived back to Canada from Tunisie Oct.5th. at night. It killed me to leave my husband at the airport, i feel like i am dieing,.I hope that it does not take to long to sponser my husband to come to Canada, without him , i feel i have no reason , and no life... I am very happy to be married to him, and it was not a problem when i asked that we include in the marriage contract , the clause that in the event of divorce we would both keep what we owned before marriage without separation . I do not plan on any divorce. The only way that i would ever think of a divorce , would be if my husband was not faithful, other than that i will stand by him no matter what happens. I am very sad to say that when i was in Tunisie , they robbed our napsack on the beach, i lost my prescription Versace eyeglasses -value of $600 Canadian , as well as $980 cash canadian, and my Nikon camera with all the wedding photos..They also had my clothes, ...Two Algerian Men witnessed the robbery gave me a towel to wear, so we could walk back to our residence,.Even the key for our residence was stolen.My husband is poor, and does not have much money and because of that we decided to just do the necessary signing at the municipality with my husbands Mother ,Nephew and two witnesses , my daughter was also present. The only proof of photos of the signing in the registry were in the Nikon Camera that was stolen on the beach.We went to the Police and made a Police report. Thanks to my husband, the night before he removed my passport and documents from the napsack , so the theif did not get them.I was told that if my passport would have been stolen , i would have been stuck in Tunisie for a year or more, ...i heard this happened already to another Canadian, it is very difficult to replace a Canadian stolen passport.You cannot get a replacement in 24 to 48 hours. We were in Hammamet on the beach we just got in the water only five minutes. The napsack was on the beach under a parasol, a young man crept up and hid behind the parasol and slid the napsack away and ran up the hill getting into a red car,with a driver waiting for him. I have not been able to see without my glasses,i need them for reading , computer and far away distance,.I could not even see to fill in the police report, my husband had to do this for me. I am now using a pair of loaner glasses that i got from my optometrist, but they are not sufficient , it will take another week before i get a replacement. it is not worth it for me to declare this to my personal insurance as there is a three hundred dollar deductable and afterwards my insurance will cost more, this is why i am not opting for that. All pictures were lost, ...pics of sunset in Maroc, i took from the plane, pics of his family and all our memories together...My first time that i ever took a plane and left Canada, and i have not one picture to show...and now worst case scenario of all, is that i needed the pictures of my husband and i signing the registry as proof , these must be inlcuded in the application for sponsership..i do not know what will happen. Also they would not give me back my Birth Certificate, i told them that it is illegal for them to keep it , but he yelled at me and told me you cannot have this back this is Tunisian law! According to what i read on the intertnet , they do not have the right to keep my birth certificate, in any case i will ask for a new one, maybe i will just state that my original Birth certificate was lost.In regards to being robbed on the beach in Hammamet, I have learned my lesson , and i will not ever take anything valuable on the beach.. I also had a make up bag with $80 of new make up , which i purchased in canada days before the trip...to a man it is nothing , but to a woman , who has to rebuy all again...it is still a loss no matter what it was....but of course the biggest loss remains our wedding photos and my prescription glasses. But i must be thankful that we have our health. No one was abducted , no one got hurt,. I think that maybe we were destined to have something much worse happen to us, and God stepped in and made this happening our only loss. My mother was waiting at the airport , she heard that there was elevated risk alert from terrorist who planned to bomb planes direction from France and Europe...i thank God that my daughter and i arrived safe. I am sorry for such a long letter,. I am still not myself , i am very tired , due to the five hour change between tunisie and Canada, i woke up five times because i am still not back to my regular cycle of time. Please if anyone can tell , did they have the right to keep my Birth Certificate when i got married.? Also please be advised that you need only to stay a few days in tunisie after marriage , not a month as i have read what others stated.
        thankyou for listening.....Shara Sahara

    • im going thought the same thing ans asking the same questions..

      • i love this guy so much, he already bought me my wedding ring. he is the sweetest guy ever and i want to be with him but if i marrie him will i get stuck down there?

  6. is it mandatory to stay in tunisia for 21 days before marriage? does it have to be 21 days at one time? or can it be split up with different visits? Ive been once already for 5 or 6 days and I can go back again in a month or so for maybe 6 days. This will give me a second visit. The 3rd visit I will stay alittle longer as 9 days.- IS this sufficient to do this instead of 21 days in a row? I cant take vacations that long. Can someone give me an answer please?

    • Chica,

      We give advice here about relationship matters not about Immigration matters.

      Please contact the Tunisian Embassy in your country, or look on their government website, they will be able to answer your questions.

      Regards,

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Senior Editor

  7. Tammy u always happy with my prayers.u dont think u r alone in the world. Tammy i don t know how r u but i eel Ur painful life your day and Nights. Tammy plz u face the ur tuff situation.tammy if u wants the true and faithful life partner and friendly lover meture and sensible men so u can give chance i will marry with u.butt want 1 thing from u only only true love. i will try conquer ur heart forever.its my promise below my detail.
    name. kami
    age. 38 but young look
    religion. islam
    country . pakistan
    phon. (phone number deleted by Editor)
    i am waiting your answer.

    • Brother Hamaad,

      This is not a matrimonial service, please refrain from posting your contact detsils here.

      Best wishes with your search.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I seriously don't know why some men do these sort of activities .Are they really that stupid to believe that a woman will contact them if they post their contact details online .

      • Hmm, it is quite odd, I agree. But somehow, I think the person who wrote that was not seriously looking for a wife.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. katrina i am allso wanting to marry my fiance in tunisia and the paper work is so confusing im from england and i know i can get a paper from rgistary office but i dont know how long they last for and when i asked they didnt know either i have to wait 3 months as ihave just got devorced but like you i want to be with my fiance so much .i went on holiday in may and i was heart broken when i left i am hopeing to return in december but i dont know if i will be able to leave him again its so hard .if you would like to contact me for friendship and talking more i would be happy to hear from you janet

  9. Mr. Hoque, use a matrimonial service, or any offline contacts you might have. This is not a matchmaking service.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. Hello I am currently in love with a man from tunisia and we want to get married I have no past of marriage,divorce or being a widow I want to know if it would be possible for him to get a visitors visa first and then we get married in canada or would it be easier and faster to get married in tunisia...I do have children so travelling would be alot harder for me..any information would be great.

    • michelle you'd need to consult an immigration attorney for information about bringing your man over. Just be cautious and go slow. I'm not questioning your feelings or judgment, but it's not uncommon for men from poor countries to use marriage as a means of immigrating to the West.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but the foreign marriage rules in Canada are pretty strict. Regardless of where you get married, if you sponsor your husband to immigrate to Canada you must agree to financially support him for 2 years. If he leaves you within those two years and collects social benefits from the government, YOU will be responsible for paying the government back. And, he will not be eligible for permanent residency for 2 years, which will make it very difficult for him to find a job or even attend school (fees for non residents are astronomical).

      Unless he is independently wealthy, be very cautious. You may be putting yourself and your children at risk. Did you meet him online? in my experience men from muslim countries are quite eager to marry a north american woman, for immigration purposes. If he truly loves you and your children, he won't put you at risk and will apply for immigration independently (I.e. as a business person, for example), and then marry you once he has status.

      Definitely speak to a lawyer about this.

  11. ...

    [Editor's note: This is not a matrimonial website.]

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