Few months ago I posted a question ("Pregnant by Saudi Boyfriend") regarding my pregnancy and I was left by a Saudi guy after a long term "serious relationship.

Some of you advised me to find out the family of my boyfriend and let him know about the baby on way, so after long days of searching I finally found out an address and a phone of his family.

Asking some Saudis they said that there are not specific addresses and what they do is to send letters or packages by Fedex, write the name of the receiving person, and the phone number, so when the letter or package arrives the office contact them to go to pick what they receive, it this true?

I was planning to send his father a letter letting him know about the situation but I don't know what exactly to say, because I am afraid that he will just ignore my letter and continue the life as if nothing happened. Some people advised me to send the letter now saying that I'm pregnant and in few weeks the baby will born, that I don't expect money from them that I just expect the father of my baby to be involved in his life and name him as he deserve. On the other hand, there are people saying that I should wait until the baby is born to send them the letter plus pictures of the baby. As result of all this advice I am  confused and right now I don't know what to do, if I should send the letter now or just wait?

In the same way, I am afraid of what their (parents) reaction will be because for sure in so traditional country this will be such a dishonor for them, more because they are well known in the society, and they are known as a good family that helps people in need as well. I want to believe that they will be good and they won't left his grandson alone and they will be worry about my son emotional health, but on the other hand the dishonor of their family is at stake and probably they would like to keep it in secret and never talk about that, so they just going to forget my letter and act as if they don't receive nothing.

Please brothers and sister, help me with this because I'm struggle of what I should do and how I can do it. I wish to receive some advice as soon as possible because I'll give birth soon.

Allah ybarek lak.

~Maria_us

Aslamualykum sisters and brothers,

I used to ask question here about being pregnant alone and ignored from him and his family. It's now six months passed and my son has never met his father. The father ended contact with me,  he blocked me out from everything. It is not fair with my baby, my child is innocent and didn't do anything wrong. That man said he feels nothing toward me and baby and he said this after  became,  but before I became pregnant he  came to see me every 3-4 months!

Now he is not coming any more. His parents never knew that we married. But after I became pregnant they came to know and they do not do anything. I don't understand Pakistani culture. Now, I take care of my son alone. He is a healthy boy alhamdulilah, but he's never met anyone from his father's side.

Should I go to meet his parent's? Will they hurt my son or me? Will they beat me or kill me? I don't know what I should do.

Another question: if I go to Oman is there anyone or organization to make conversation between me, him or his parents? I'm worrying about safety. I went there twice but he kept me in a hotel. This time Insh'Allah if I go it will be me and baby.

Allah says in Surah Zumar, Ayah 53-55: "Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. "Turn ye to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped. And follow the best of (the courses) revealed to you from your Lord, before the Penalty comes on you - of a sudden while ye perceive not!"

Bismallahi Rahman Irrahim. Salam. I'm here today to get my question answered. I'm Muslim. I'm 16. I committed Zina and I'm pregnant. May Allah find it in Him to forgive me.

My parents arent happy with this at all, as they shouldn't be. They tried to force me into an abortion which I refused and now they are forcing me into giving my baby up for adoption, which I refuse also. They told me if I refuse they will throw me out on the street and say a duaa on me that Allah will not cherish me.

I can't find it in myself to give my flesh and blood to someone I don't know & be expected to live a normal life afterwards. I love my parents with all my heart. But I can't do this. I want them to accept and forgive me. But I can't do it!! I see adoption as a horrible thing and my life will be completely miserable afterwards.

My brother somewhat doesn't know and he's crazy. My mother said he'll come after me once he finds out and I wont live life in peace. They also say I'm a whore & all these other names. They say that I won't be able to follow my dreams and no one will accept me. I know it will be hard but I can do it. I just can't give away my baby!!!!

I know I'm a disgrace and deserve this hell. But I made a mistake. La Illaha Il Allah Muhammad Al Rasul Allah. I need opinions fo fellow brothers and sisters.

~Dream11

Is my marriage permissible?

Hi,

I am a non muslim from new zealand who up until recently had been seeing a Fijian/indian muslim guy. (for almost 3years; 1 living together). We aren't married and haven't done nikkah. He isn't a devout Muslim; he smokes and drinks alcohol and almost never goes 2 the mosque or prays. We both eat haram food. (jst not pork.) I never really had a relationship with his family until recently. We broke up for 5 months at the beginning of the year and got back together in July. After this started to see his parents a lot more and kind of got a little bit close with them.
I am currently 13 weeks pregnant; we found out in 6th weeks and when we told his parents they were furious saying I MUST get an abortion, I am just using him and I got pregnant on purpose. They disowned him and 2 weeks later they came 2 my parents (where we were staying) while we weren't home and said for him 2 come over sometime (which was their way of apologizing). He started 2 go there again but I refused feeling like they wanted 2 kill my child. When I was 10 weeks pregnant; his mum called and invited me over 2 talk so I went thinking I was going 2 get an apology for the things they said; which I didn't! Instead they said they had figured out 'damage control' for the situation.
We all thought that nikkah couldn't be done while I was pregnant so they explained 2 me that we would instead LIE to the community and everyone saying their son and I did nikkah in secret and came back to have the celebration. I was told it would b a 'small party' so I agreed; I later found out it would be my wedding with 350 people that i didn't know. I also wouldn't get to plan it and it would be done in 3 weeks time. When I realized what was happening; I tried to back out, I was told that if we didn't go through with it that his family wouldn't have anything to do with him. Because, I didn't want him to loose his family I agreed.
When we first found out I was pregnant he (the father of my child) said he wanted 2 start attending the mosque more, give up smoking and drinking and also stop eating haram. I was happy to hear these things. But, he didn't change; 4 weeks later and still no change. He kept making excuses that he would but didn't. While I was 10 weeks pregnant; we were at his parents' house with a lot of his family around. He hadn't had a cigarette all day and I refused to let him have one (I had his wallet so he couldn't buy any); we physically fought for half an hour as he was trying to get it off me. He finally gave up when his cousin arrived with some. I was so embarrassed, angry and emotional that I just hid in the bedroom and cried. His mother made him come in we talked for 5 minutes before he agreed to take me back to my mums.

When we arrived he packed all his clothes and left. I messaged him and said he could have his ciggarettes if they meant that much to him and it was over between us. He never texted me back. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks.
Should I give him a break about smoking? Am I just making a big deal about nothing? I stopped eating pork when we first met and haven't eaten it since. He's never given up anything for me. We are having a baby now me converting so his child can be raised Muslim; should be more important than a cancer stick.
Also I feel his parents are being unfair in forcing us to 'marry' it is something I want to do with him but its also something I want to spend months planning and not have my mother in law plan everything FOR ME in a matter of weeks.

Any advice please help!

mum2b.

Salams brothers & sisters,

Please I need you to shed some light on this matter for me. When I found out I was pregnant again after my first child; I was very grateful to Allah SWT but I felt some sense of fear. Not long I started bleeding so I went to check and was told that I was carrying twins. I was so happy and I remeber thanking Allah sincerely by helping other people. Few weeks after I realise that everywhere I went there was either news about someone losing their pregnancy or they've lost their child. Even on the TV, so I decided that I needed to stay away from the TV; even my friends were having miscarriages.

I got very prayerful and I started to go to mosque to pray. I was also in full time employment but my job was an office job and I always drove to work. My hubby got me a comfortable car as my bump was big so after 20 weeks I told my husband that we needed to start shopping but he kept saying we needed to wait and save more money since we are shopping for two. Weeks after this we found two cats in our garden and we decided to look after them and they decided to stay with us. Some days after I went to our local shopping mall and they were doing sale but something said to me to buy something my eldest child could use if things were to go wrong. Immediately I seeked refuge with Allah from shaitan but I ended up buying wipes.

Days to me reaching 26 weeks, my husband was hit by a car but was okay and we decided to pray. That weekend I went to mosque to pray with my eldest child and on our way home she was nearly killed by a car, I screamed "ALLAH" and a woman rushed and grabbed her for me. I got home cried and prayed again. By this time I had stopped working but still drove around for school run; two weeks after my child's incident on a friday, I remember cooking and a brother needed help so I offered, but my eyes were heavy so I took cab instead of driving. After I got home I couldn't sleep so I decided to watch some DVD; to my shock it was story about a woman who lost her child. After that a friend of mine put on her profile that she lost her two year old cousin and was so upset, so I called her to console her. Then I decided to pray before going to bed so I finished the prayer at 12 midnght and went to sleep. Got up at 2am to use the loo and my water broke; got to the hospital and the Dr said he has to deliver as the cord has dropped. I was screaming Allah, the next day everything was over and I saw my boys but they were tiny.

I was discharged and the boys were kept in an incubator. weeks after I kept hearing about people losing their childen; again, I would pray and pray but not long I lost 1 of my boys and we came to also realise that one of the cat has gone missing. I can't stop crying and thinking maybe I should have not driven, or slept early or not cooked and not wtched dvd on that day. My husband seems to think I was too scared all through the pregnancy and other people say maybe it was my stress but my child lived for 16days before he died but they keep saying maybe my stressing brought about the preterm labour. I am so confused. I need my mind at rest. Please help me

Wasalam,

Habiba.

Asalamualaykum,

I wanted to know about what happens to a woman once she has given birth; I know she can bleed to a maximum of 40 days.

I have also heard that the grave opens and closes for that woman in those 40 days, is this true?

Can someone shed some light on this please?

Jazak Allah.

Mrs Yousuf G.

I would like to know if the child is haram who is born to a Muslim couple who are not married but living together?

Thanks,

shanafta.

I have been married for 3 years now, and i have just recently started trying for a baby it hasn't been that long really and i know sometimes it can take time and sometimes without realising you can just get pregnant. But now i just can't take it anymore. Is there anything that can help me to increase my chances of having a baby, is there any dua or anything that can help me, I will be ever so grateful and please make dua for me. Sometime I cry when im alone and pray and pray loads, my husband always says that dont worry its up to Allah.

And yes its true it is all up to Allah, and also inshaAllah in the will of Allah hope there is a child written in my destiny.

Please Help....

JazakaAllah

Sister Mrs Yousaf

I had an arranged marriage at 19 years of age. My husband who is from Pakistan is very traditional whereas, I am more western in my values. When we first spoke I was happy in that we shared much in common and I was happy in marrying him the only problem was that he lived in Birmingham with his family and I lived in Middlesbrough with mine. I told him how I felt about moving to a location where I didn't know anybody and how awkward I would feel and he promised, and arranged for one of the terms of our marriage to be that, I try/compromise for a year and if  I was not happy we'd move to Middlesbrough. We married in Birmingham 3 years ago and now have beautiful 2 year old twin sons and a new baby on the way.

After the year in isolation I had only seen my family once. Still young when I was getting married, I was in college, which I foolishly gave up to care for him and my sons. I do not have any friends or family here in Birmingham so I rarely leave home. I have become depressed and quite sick of his family members coming over to drop of their kids and use me as a free baby sitter. My husband whom is now made redundant is unable to provide for us. He constantly moans and curses. He has never changed our son's nappies nor shown them any sort of affection whatsoever. After a argument, he stopped cooking or helping me cook or clean around the house. As I'm heavily pregnant and also caring for twins, the help I expected wasn't there. He allowed me to starve for a week and refused to buy groceries with the closest shop being a mile from our house. I have spoken to him about this on several occasions yet he doesn't care or show any remorse or appreciation for the sacrifices I have made in order for our marriage.

I then left to go back to my mother hoping things would be different. I surprised her with my visit and told him I was leaving before I did, which he replied 'I know you would have'. I arrived at my mother and did not tell her of my intimate problems as I do not like sharing problems and was praying for Allah (swt) to give me strength to pull through and also not to complain and make her feel unhappy. I just wanted a small break to gather myself and for a little support with the babies which I knew I'd receive at home. My mother, being the mother she is, felt there was something wrong and gave him a call. Shortly to find out, he complained and said how I was a lazy, uncaring and useless wife. I was outraged with anger after she decided to take his side and have a go at me.

Right now I feel lost, unappreciated and misunderstood. I want to just move home and be sane again. He doesn't want to move here and is constantly making excuses and makes me feel that now that I have a babies and nowhere to turn to that I'll be a doormat he can just walk all over. I've compromised far enough and he doesn't want to. I've tried everything, I've tried pleading, convincing, talking, but I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. He lied to get me into this marriage and is psychologically draining me to feel stuck. I haven't spoken to him after he said that to my mother. I want to just pack my bags and leave and get a place in Middlesbrough and give him time to think about moving there but I don't want a divorce? Is that ok? Am I wrong? Is there any other angle this issue can be tackled by which I may have overlooked?

Thank you,

Sister Sara_

I am a convert living in Asian country.Last 6 years I met a guy online from gulf country.He came here and we date but ofcourse I don't know at all about haraam or whatever. Then he bring Islam to me. He told me to fast in ramdhan. I was interested as I was young and Islam answer life questions correctly. I studied for 2 years so I was sure its my faith then I convert Alhumdulillah. He propose me after that I told my parent then he said later he can't married any other country its illegal..but it was too late everything was prepared so we had done nikah. But the problem was he din't tell his family about me at all! He lied to me. After marriage he had changed completely, it make me so confused he was so good with me when I was out of Islam but when I am a wife and religious he hates me.

Anyway later I got pregnant and found out he cheat on me with a woman in his country. So from my sense I call her n told her he is married then she left. And finally things go worse as now my prenancy is 33 weeks. He left me completely every connection for 2 weeks now. So I try to contact his family. Before he beg me not to tell his family because he said for his parent. But since I talk to everyone in his family..everyone ignored me no one help..he doesn't talk to me.

I don't know how he talk to them. Everyone on his side..I just feel so suffering and no one to turn head to..as my father pass away 3 months ago..and my mum is angry with me about my marriage is failed..
Anyway during these 6 years relationship he came to me every 3 months and stayed 2-3 weeks as he can get vacation..
Now I'm 26 years old and no job..before he was taking care of everything..now he just stop I'm so stress because I and baby will be in trouble. I don't understand they are muslim family. Hornour is more important than 1 innocent life?
I prayed 5 times and my labour time is getting closer..so I still trying to contact them even is ignored. If not then I and baby will not have anything to eat..
What can I do more? Anyway I contact this country embassy in my country I wrote a letter but again same I was ignored..

ANYWAY I JUST COME TO EDIT THAT HE HAD EMAIL TO ME HE DIVORCE ME 3 TIMES..IS IT VALID? IT WAS HURT BUT I ACCEPT ID ITS VALID CUZ HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH ME ANYMORE..

MORE QUESTION IS WHAT ISLAM N AL QURAAN SAID ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENT TO CHILD AS MY COUNTRY LAWS IS UNTIL CHILD TURN 21 YEARS OLD..BUT HE IS NOT MY CITIZEN SO WHAT I COULD SAY TO BRING HIS MIND THINK OF HIS BABY AND HELP ME IN FINANCIAL SUPPORT..

JAZAKALLAH

-Warisa