Assalamu Alaykum,

I noticed most/all questions are about marriage and opposite gender issues which is totally irrelevant to me and my question but I hope I'll get an answer form the right kind of person.

I wanted to know if it's permissible for a girl to leave home? Reason being abuse.

I know it's ugly and very untraditional for a 21 year old girl to leave home and live on her own, but I feel I have no other choice as the living conditions are unbearable.

My beloved father (Allah Yirhamu, may Allah have mercy on him) passed away 4 years ago (Alhamdulillah he was very pious). I'm the youngest of 7, I don't get along with my siblings. Mother's made it clear she doesn't want me and fires my brother up until he hits me and calls me names (understandable if I actually did something wrong).

Brother even used to torment my late father, mock his beard and his dedication to Islam.

My grandfather overseas advised me to depart from these insane people and live with him, I would love to as he is a wise scholar whom I love and would learn so much from. But brother threatened both him and me. My grandfather is of old age and ill, I could never put him in such a situation.

I found an apartment close to all necessities and I will be safe. That being said just cause I'll be living on my own it doesn’t mean I'll forget my roots, my Father and the morals he taught me. I would really like to get some Islamic advice and know if it is haram for me to leave? I would've asked a local Sheikh/Islamic Advisor, but it's difficult to remain anonymous that way.  Please keep in mind the circumstances are unbearable (I wouldn’t be moving if I didn’t have to).

Thank you for your time and may Allah SWT grant us happiness in this life and the hereafter

Kind regards,
Sister k

Hi,

Firstly I would like to say that I would not want to hurt any one's religious sentiments.

I have been in love with a Muslim girl for last 3 years. She was very pretty and beautiful. We loved each other very much. But due to her family, her life was threatened and she became in danger.

So I married to her in arya samaj. And get the marriage registered in the Hindu marriage act. Then when our parents came to know about this marriage, the storm comes in our family.

Due to that the girl had to go back to her native place to her parents. After that our family members insisted to us that we forget each other. But it is very hard for us.

Now she is not in contact with me. But she still needs me a lot in her life. Please suggest what I should do. I am afraid that her parents may marry her to just anyone. Please suggest me what to do. We love each other very much...

~truelove

Hello everyone !!

It has been 3 years that I am married but in the recent two years I am very confused about my nekah.  Before my marriage I did not know my husband and had never seen him. When my uncles and dad wanted to do my nekah I was only 16 , and I was in London but my husband was in Afghanistan.

My dad sent a text message to my uncle in Afghanistan behalf of me saying that she is saying yes for nekah, but I did not know anything about that text message and my dad never told me. So basically I have never said yes to my nekah and I am really confused now. I also did not wanted to marry my husband but I was scared of my dad.

Please tell me if i have to do a nekah again or  should I leave it the way it is.

Hi.

Well i'm 17 years old (female) and I have a really bad father (not to mention my life too) And he NEVER taught me how to read Arabic, He only approved of English school but not Arabic. He didn't teach me how to pray too. Only my mom did. But that's not my point.

My point is that I don't know how to read Arabic and I'm still not allowed to go to school and I feel as if online researching won't do me much good since I have a hard time learning things. I really want to read the Quran.

MY DAD IS NOT UNDERSTANDING SO DONT TELL ME TO GO TALK TO HIM CAUSE IVE TRIED AND MY MOM TRIED TOO.

This isn't my fault right?

~Allahs Slave

I am a Roman Catholic woman who has been best friends with a Muslim man since we were children. Four years ago, we started dating. I moved abroad and the first year of our relationship was a long-distance one. After that first year, he moved abroad with me and we have been living together now for just over three years. He and I are both studying at University and do intend on getting married someday. We love each other very much and respect each other's beliefs. We intended on getting married purely in a legal sense once we had completed University because I do not wish to convert into Islam, and my partner does not expect me to. I personally do not believe that one can fully renounce their own beliefs by taking another, and I do not feel like I can do the religion justice if I adopt it as my own. Once we have children, we would like them to be raised with the Islamic faith, and we have discussed how we would go about raising them (this apsect is not an issue).

My partner's family appeared to accept us living together at first, yet after 3 years they have hysterically begun hounding us with rude emails and phone calls, accusing us of living in sin and claiming that they are living in sin because of us. I have reassurred them that I would consider converting, but I know that in my heart I would be extremely unhappy if I did so. My partner and I just want to live our own lives and not be forced into marriage by his parents- we wish to get married on our own terms when we are ready to do so, but we hate the fact that it is causing his parents so much grief.

Is there any way a compromise can be reached? Would we still be living in sin if we married purely in the legal sense? We've reached a crossroads in our lives now- if we get married in the legal sense we risk losing his parents, but if I convert and marry him, I know I will be unhappy because I will not be able to celebrate Christmas with my family and there would be pressure on me to fast and pray in a certain way.

I'm not sure if you will able to help me at all, but we are not quite sure what to do - we just want to live our lives and be happy.

~Antoinette

My friend's mum has been into black magic for many years, she never supported the children in upbringing, education, Islamically, her father has done most of it, the mum has just put food on the table.

The family have asked her nicely and harshly to be a good Muslim but she doesn't listen to anyone and wants her own way, as my friend wants to be a good Muslim she wants to know how to treat her mother. At the moment no one is talking to the Mum due to her bad behaviour as a Muslim and a mum.

HELP, how can I help her?

~Sofiea

well, I'm a network engineer, as I'm an tele-engineer. It suits me but I want to get into the banking sector, starting as a bank PO.

Now the problem is that my father and mother do not agree that I should leave my field and go to the banking sector which is different (not technical).
The problem is that I want to convince them. It's easyto convince my mom, but my dad it is not. If I put up this issue, it might be that we will exchange a few words and it will be difficult for me to focus on my aim and even more difficult for me to concentrate on my exam prep knowing that my family is not with me.

Well, I'm asking them...I'm not doing anything wrong, just changing my field- that's it. Now what's the issue in that?

I'm a muslim, but I don't feel that my parents have a right to tell which path(career) I should follow unless I'm choosing the wrong path. But here I'm doing what I want to do.

I want to stick to my plan of becoming a PO and I have purchased all the books required for the exam. Even if my parents don't agree I want to go ahead, so please help me know how to get out of this without hurting them and still being able to focus on my prep.

Secondly, there is something more bigger and dangerous than this: my marriage. I knew this was coming, but really I don't want to get married. Don't come to an conclusion, people- I'm straight (lol), but not ready yet.

The thing is right now my priority is my career and money and I have no time to carry a wife along with me; I'm better off as single.

Lastly relating to marriage, I really feel that as a single I'm much better and more independent than I would be if I carry a headache of a spouse...now that's painful (the responsibilty, the other stuff no not now).
I don't want them to start hunting up a bride for me and if I say this to them, they will tell me "then if it is not now, then when?" so basically I'm stuck between my career and my family, and I want my career to win but in a good way. The most important is my career. Regarding my marriage, I'll see no girl they bring to me.

Allah hafiz

I have been in a love relation for the past 7-8 years. He is also a Muslim and loved me a lot. We were supposed to get married but something went wrong with his family as they came to know that my father is an addict; this is not my fault. He some how got physically connected with a girl then we were facing problem and later confirmed that he never gave my place to anyone else. He was sorry and I tried forgiving him; some how I taunted him about it and he decided to end relation with me.

He behaves the same way; cares for me but when it comes to say I love you he starts fearing. He made me better and even taught religious stuff. He always said the problem is not his but his family but yesterday he got angry and said he is not interested to marry me.

What shall I do? I can't live without him and can't even believe that Allah is doing this to me. Everything was perfect but now I don't know. Allah always gave me more than what I wanted but this time he is giving me hope and than again breaking it.

I am so hurt that I sometime decide to not think of Allah but what can I do I can't stop trusting Allah and nor can I stop loving him. I have been waiting to solve this for a longtime.

Please help me.
~Tashnim.

Is my marriage permissible?

Hi,

I am a non muslim from new zealand who up until recently had been seeing a Fijian/indian muslim guy. (for almost 3years; 1 living together). We aren't married and haven't done nikkah. He isn't a devout Muslim; he smokes and drinks alcohol and almost never goes 2 the mosque or prays. We both eat haram food. (jst not pork.) I never really had a relationship with his family until recently. We broke up for 5 months at the beginning of the year and got back together in July. After this started to see his parents a lot more and kind of got a little bit close with them.
I am currently 13 weeks pregnant; we found out in 6th weeks and when we told his parents they were furious saying I MUST get an abortion, I am just using him and I got pregnant on purpose. They disowned him and 2 weeks later they came 2 my parents (where we were staying) while we weren't home and said for him 2 come over sometime (which was their way of apologizing). He started 2 go there again but I refused feeling like they wanted 2 kill my child. When I was 10 weeks pregnant; his mum called and invited me over 2 talk so I went thinking I was going 2 get an apology for the things they said; which I didn't! Instead they said they had figured out 'damage control' for the situation.
We all thought that nikkah couldn't be done while I was pregnant so they explained 2 me that we would instead LIE to the community and everyone saying their son and I did nikkah in secret and came back to have the celebration. I was told it would b a 'small party' so I agreed; I later found out it would be my wedding with 350 people that i didn't know. I also wouldn't get to plan it and it would be done in 3 weeks time. When I realized what was happening; I tried to back out, I was told that if we didn't go through with it that his family wouldn't have anything to do with him. Because, I didn't want him to loose his family I agreed.
When we first found out I was pregnant he (the father of my child) said he wanted 2 start attending the mosque more, give up smoking and drinking and also stop eating haram. I was happy to hear these things. But, he didn't change; 4 weeks later and still no change. He kept making excuses that he would but didn't. While I was 10 weeks pregnant; we were at his parents' house with a lot of his family around. He hadn't had a cigarette all day and I refused to let him have one (I had his wallet so he couldn't buy any); we physically fought for half an hour as he was trying to get it off me. He finally gave up when his cousin arrived with some. I was so embarrassed, angry and emotional that I just hid in the bedroom and cried. His mother made him come in we talked for 5 minutes before he agreed to take me back to my mums.

When we arrived he packed all his clothes and left. I messaged him and said he could have his ciggarettes if they meant that much to him and it was over between us. He never texted me back. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks.
Should I give him a break about smoking? Am I just making a big deal about nothing? I stopped eating pork when we first met and haven't eaten it since. He's never given up anything for me. We are having a baby now me converting so his child can be raised Muslim; should be more important than a cancer stick.
Also I feel his parents are being unfair in forcing us to 'marry' it is something I want to do with him but its also something I want to spend months planning and not have my mother in law plan everything FOR ME in a matter of weeks.

Any advice please help!

mum2b.

Hello,

I am currently dating a Pakistani man who I am deeply in love with  and vice versa. We have been dating for four years now. We have discussed our futures together. We both want to marry each other. The only obstacles in our way are our parents and religion. He is worried that it is not accepted in Islam to marry a non-believer in the Islam faith. He told his mother about me but she is not pleased with it. I am originally from Africa (Nigeria) and my parents want me to marry someone who is from Nigeria. Everyone that is important to us are against us but we are still strong in love and still want to be together. I'm looking out for our happiness but its hard because all odds are against us. I have been taking time out to learn more about Islam so that I can be more familiar with it. What should we do?

Thanks,

Afi.