You are currently browsing the articles from Islamic Advice matching the category
I am from the US ( dont associate me with G.W.Bush please) and i am a focused musician however, but i am willing to convert in order to live a meaningful life and marry a girl a from Palestine. Could our marriage be justified?
Written by TNT6 on March 8th, 2007 with 2 comments.
Read more articles on Can I Marry Him (or Her)? and Islamic Answers 2007.
This question is answered by Wael Abdelgawad, the AskBilqis.com and Zawaj.com Editor and Administrator.
Dear Bilqis,
Aslamu elikum warehmatullah
Dear Bilqis, I have a problem, plz give me quick response. I was making a sin of Zinaa. I’m very ashamed of it. I was trapped by the guy. But now i want to marry him, because I don’t want to destroy the life of another guy. Plz tell me what can i do? I regularly do Dua to Allah to plz forgive me for this sin.
- D. from Pakistan
Dear Sister D., As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
It seems that you have repented and made tawbah for your actions. That is very good, alhamdulillah. It’s commendable that you are now following the correct path and trying to act as a Muslim.
You said that you were “trapped by the guy.” I don’t know what you mean by this. If you meant that he physically forced you, then this is not Zinaa, it is rape. This would be a crime that he committed against you. This is not a sin by you, because you were the victim of a crime. In this case I would urge you to report this to the authorities so they can take action against him.
Or maybe your saying you were “trapped” by him means that he pressured you emotionally in some way, and you gave in.
In either case, this man is absolutely not a good man and you should not marry him.
Don’t worry right now about marrying someone else. Just focus on living your life, being a good Muslim, and healing from this incident. Eventually, when you are ready, you will find someone good Insha’Allah, and you do not have to mention your past at that time, as it is between you and Allah.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.
Glory to You Allah, we praise You, we bear witness that there is no God except You, we ask Your forgivess and we repent to You.
Best regards,
- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator
AskBilqis.com Islamic Marriage and Family Advice
ZAWAJ.COM Muslim Matrimonials and More!
Written by wael on November 29th, 2006 with 3 comments.
Read more articles on Islamic Answers 2006 and Marriage and Can I Marry Him (or Her)? and Zinaa.
This question is answered by Wael Abdelgawad, the AskBilqis.com and Zawaj.com Editor and Administrator.
Dear Bilqis,
My aunty married a man from out of our family then their son married a woman also totally our of our family. So is it permissible for me to marry their daughter?
- C. from Australia
Dear C., As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
This reminds me of one of those word puzzles or riddles you get in I.Q. tests, or on the S.A.T.
Unfortunately I’ve never been very good at puzzles. You know the one with the two bent nails that are wound together and you have to get them apart? I can never solve that.
Seriously, though, let me try to work it out
Presumably you are a man. You have an aunt. You did not tell me her name but let’s call her Tahany because that’s my aunt’s name and it will help me keep things straight.
So Aunt Tahany married a man from outside of the family. Ok, no problem there. Let’s call him Fawzy.
Now, Aunt Tahany and Fawzy had a son, let’s call him Hisham. So Hisham is your first cousin. Right?
Now, if I understand you correctly, cousin Hisham married a woman out of the family (good for him). Let’s call her Salwa.
Then cousin Hisham and his wife Salwa had a daughter. Let’s call her Noha. And you want to know if you can marry Noha.
Is that right?
So the question is, basically, “Can I marry my first cousin’s daughter?”
The answer is, yes. She is not your mahrem and from a legal Islamic viewpoint you can marry her.
How Common is It?
I want to use this opportunity to address the issue of marrying family members such as first and second cousins, and the children of cousins.
I realize this is a common custom in some parts of the world. It happens in some Muslim communities because due to the restrictions against gender mixing it is difficult to meet prospective marriage partners outside your family circle. Furthermore, some people think they are strengthening and protecting the family interests by keeping the marriage within the family. And there is often a cultural suspicion of “outsiders” and their strange ways.
In fact, the BBC reported last year that at least 55% of British Pakistanis are married to first cousins!
And why not? It’s legal in most countries. No European country prohibits it; Canada and Mexico allow it; as do 26 of the American states. Islam does not prohibit it, and neither does Christianity.
Genetic Diseases and Birth Defects
However, the fact that it is legal and not prohibited religiously, does not mean that it is a good idea. Our code of life, our genetic makeup, carries two types of genes: dominant genes and recessive genes. Recessive genes carry traits that do not normally appear - they are dormant. Many rare diseases and abnormalities are caused by recessive genes.
The problem is that when two people with very similar genetics marry - in other words, close family members - these recessive traits combine and manifest in the offspring. So marriages between cousins carry a much higher risk of birth defects in the children. The risk can be as high as 6%. This may not seem like a lot, but when you consider that many of these recessive genetic disorders are extremely serious and can even result in infant death, then you begin to see how unhealthy it is to marry a cousin.
That same BBC article states that, “British Pakistanis are 13 times more likely to have children with genetic disorders than the general population.”
This is a very serious problem.
Culturally Limiting
Furthermore, I feel that the frequency of marriage between cousins in some countries like Pakistan, produces a type of xenophobia that results in tribalism and conflict. It makes people narrow minded and suspicous of outsiders. People become comfortable only with their own way of doing things, their own history, their own way of thinking.
Is it any surprise that such societies tend to become very culturally closed, and suffer from constant tribal and religious conflicts?
I am not saying that this is all because of cousin marriages; only that it is one element of a larger problem.
Marrying outside the family allows the introduction of new ideas, new blood, and new perspectives. This keeps a family and a society healthy and growing.
After the death of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) the Sahaabah spread out across the Muslim world. Many of them married local women and had children, thereby establishing roots of Islam and Arab culture all across the world.
Glory to You Allah, we praise You, we bear witness that there is no God except You, we ask Your forgivess and we repent to You.
Best regards,
- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator
AskBilqis.com Islamic Marriage and Family Advice
ZAWAJ.COM Muslim Matrimonials and More!
Written by wael on October 27th, 2006 with no comments.
Read more articles on Islamic Answers 2006 and Marriage and Religion and Can I Marry Him (or Her)?.