I just want to start by saying that my husband is doing a business which involves selling alcohol, and he has been doing it for around 15 years. When we got married I knew that he had a job but didn't know it also included selling alcohol.

After our marriage, he said that he'll look for other options, instead he got his own business which was a covenience store, also involved selling alcohol. I tried to convince him to stop selling it, but he only said he'll try.

Sometimes he became angry and said I am being unthankful. He became verbally abusive and since our marriage and after two kids, we don't have any communication left, that is 10 years ago. He has changed so much that we don't have feelings for each other, we don't have any intimacy left. He also is surrounded by bad company, who drink and are involved in the same business. He also is not a religious person, only he pays Zakat and Sadaqa.

My question is since I am a sinful person too I have sincerely repented but I know that our income is not Halal, so what should I do?

I am a patient of arthritis too, but I am really fearful of Allah and the hereafter, and also what I am knowingly giving my children!  I am giving them all possible knowledge of Islamic teachings but they always have these questions, "Why doesnt Dad have to pray?"

Please tell me what should I do because death can come anytime and what answers will I have to these questions!

- Simi

I was engaged for 5 years and now its been 2 years we got married. Before marriage my hubby used to love me alot and we were even involved in sexual acts which I always regret. Since we've got married, he changed alot now. He seems soo much busy that he dont give me time, always stressed out because of work pressure, even our sex life is not at all going good, he only come to me once in 1 and half or 2 months.

I don't understand, why is it like this? I am sure there is no other women. He do take alot care of me and fullfil all his responsibilities but doesnt seems interested in sex with me. I don't understand what is the reason?? I need some advice on what should I do? I am really very confused. I even try my best to make him satisfied and he do satisfy with me but still

I really don't know whats wrong. I do understand that his work is very hard and he bear alot stress and pressure and he can't work without painkiller like panadol, which he take regularly, is it the reason behind this? Or is stress is the reason? I really don't know how to ask him regarding this, please help me.

~Niham

The other day I found out something which I found very disturbing and wanted some clarification on the matter from someone in the know.

My friend has been having trouble with her marriage and basically came to me for some moral support. During the conversation she let slip that her husband and her had never consummated their marriage.

I didn't say anything to her but found the situation bizarre considering she has been married ten years. I just wanted to know that under Islam are a man and wife allowed to live together without consummating their marriage?

~Gaz

Betrayal by a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences in life.

Assalamualaikum. I am new here and in need of advice. I converted 3years ago but just now I'm getting close to Allah. Alhamdulillah. I am still married but I don't think it will last much longer. I have been married for 10 yrs, I have a 3 yr old daughter and a 2 yr old. My husband cheated on me 2 yrs into the marriage and i forgave him although it has always been in the back of my mind.

He told me 2 months ago that he had been unfaithful again. And blaimed it on me not being a good Muslim. I have since started to attend the mesjid and am trying to learn and practice as much as i can, however I found some pics on he's e-mail (he doest know I know his password) of a woman and one of his private part I'm not sure what to do.

I no longer love him (when I married him I loved him very very much) but I have been trying to work things out because of our daughters. We havent even been intimate for over 10 mnths now (not unusually throughout the marriage we could go 3-5 months without being intimate plus it's been over 2yrs since we share the same bed he blames it on his back but yet he sleeps in the couch) I asked him to seek counselling together through the mesjid but he did not want to.

I am going to away for a few days and I will be following his whereabouts to see what he does. I feel guilty for doing this but I also feel I can no longer stay in this situation. He works as a sales person and he is very good with his words. I feel he knows me so well that any situation he knows how to get out of and likes to turn it to somehow for it to be my fault and somehow it ends up making sense to me and I end up believing him, I really need help.

Can you give me some advise. I thought since im going to a different city i could talk to a different mesjid. Please help, inshallah maybe through here I can get some advice.

~ Huda

Dear brothers and sisters,
I don't know where to start but I will get to the point. I don't know what really got into me yesterday but somehow I got myself having sexual intercourse  with someone's wife and I wasnt thinking about any of the sin that I was about to commit because the feelings in me wouldn't allow me to stop doing it and we both agreed in doing it.

On the next day I get this feelings in me that I realized I made the great sin ever. I cannot stop thinking about it, it made me to lose my dignity as a man and started crying. Now I'm asking you as a brother to you all, please help me if there is way to ask for my forgiveness and I want to pray Allah for my repentance.

I know what I did was totally wrong and some of you will think that I dont deserve to be helped but if none will suggest me for help then I wont  be able to help myself at all.
Thank you

~ Shahab

assalamu aleykum..

I am 28 and my husband is 45. When I married him a year ago, he was not attractive but I didn't think that was a big deal until later on. Now, I have a child with him and that forces me to be patient. My husband is very quiet, never has a fun time with me, basically no conversation what so ever.

I dont know if this is the age difference. I can't look at him and don't like my friends to see him.

I am confused and unhappy.

Any advise?

Dear fellow people, I have come to this medium to seek some direction and hopefully keep myself sane and most importantly get a solution. I know there would be someone out there who has gone through the same issues as myself.

I am male, 33yr old. I recently got married to my girlfriend of 4yrs, earlier this year. My now wife is an excellent person, has all the qualities that I have ever wanted. Saying that, things have dramatically changed in the bedroom. Before the marriage, (I know this is not allowed, but am saying the honest truth) we had a very exciting sex life and generally very nice love life. Actually just a couple of months before we got married things changed and we were not as active as we used to be, I thought it might be the stress taking a toll on her and things would return to normal.

We have been married close to a year now and we have had sex maybe a couple of times. I have spoken to her on several occasions and the answer has always been "that she doesnt even know why". At the end of the day I am a person who has needs and I love my wife very very much, but I have those natural wishes which need to be fulfilled too. This is very frustrating and is affecting me in my daily life.

What do I do?? I know the easiest way would be having sex else where.. but this is unlike me, I just want it with my wife!!!

As salamu alikum,

I really need u guys help, I have been wanted to go to further my education for the last seven years. It has been put on a back seat because of my husband issues at that time we moved out of the country. Then we had a daughter and i could not go to school. Just when I wanted to put her in school and then go to school i found out that i was expecting again.

Alhamdulillah for everything. now my son is six month old and i am planning to go back to school in January inshallah, or at least I woruld really like to. The problem is that my husband will not watch my son for  twice a week two-three hours a day from 5:30-8:00 pm so I can go to school.

I alway support him in whatever he wants to do but he does not do the same with me. I work for him for free at his store and take the baby with me. whenever he needs me and do whatever he wants.

so ok he can't watch the child, I have my muslim sister who is a very good muslim mashaallah he my husband aproves of her highly. She is much older than i am and can be my mom and in all honesty she is like a mom to me and she has agreed to watch him for me free of charge. Alhamdulillah, but now my husband has another problem and he now says i can't leave him with her and even it was his mom he would be worried. He said if he was a year old he wouldn't mind but he will be two month from a year when I start and will be a year inshallah before the first semester ends.

He gets very angry when i try to explain that this means a lot to me and i would really appreciated it if he would make it posible for me to do this, but he yells and screams like he does for everything just so i could keep quiet..

and he says do what u want! I have decided to go ahead, I think my husband is trying to keep me under him and i am trying to get up from under him and secure myself just incase anything happens between us of to us . I can be of help to myself and my family.

Please let me know what islam has to say about this, I always obey my husband but this time i don't think he has a valid reason i do everything at home and help him with the store. Anytime is to do something for me he always leaves me hanging i only see him at the store and then he take me and the kids home and goes to his friends or Allahu ahlim where. He cant say on his best day that i neglect my duties. He don't spend time with us as a family and there is no intimacy whatsoever between us I have been talking to him about that for years. It's just so many problems.

The worst thing is that we can't have a decent conversation without him storming the conversation so i can shut up. In all honesty I think we are heading for divorce he won't speak to the Iman or anyone and he threatens that if i do i will have a divorce and I can't stand on my own . Please guys let me know what i should do?

- Sabri

Salaam,
I have been married for 7 years and for many years my wife has refused me in bed. Also I have asked her to wear nice clothes and makeup at home but she does this very rarely. I am miserable in my marriage and a few years ago asked for a divorce. At this time she became interested in intimacy and we now have a daughter who is 2 years old.

Since then, she has resorted to ignore me and showing very little interest in intimacy or pleasing me. I told her I am very unhappy but she does not change. I think about divorce but become very depressed when I think about being away from my daughter.

I even became very depressed and attempted suicide. Still my wife does not change. I don't know what to do. I am miserable in my marriage but will be miserable being thousands of miles away from my daughter if we get divorced. We have tried marriage counseling and it did not help.

Please give me advice.
Thank you,

Momin.

Assalam U Alaikum

I feel strange writing here but I sincerely need help and this can't be from people I know because then my personal and family matters would not remain personal anymore.

I have been happily married for the past ten years mashallah..The problem is that I don't enjoy sexual relations with my husband... I feel that it all ends too soon and does not happen the way I want it to..

I try my best to satisfy my husband by doing what he asks me to and I want the same but that never comes. In the end, I feel dejected and as I  have been left stranded in the middle of an island all alone, to face the storm brewing up inside me.

It is making me tense and depressed also frustrated and I don't want to go to that extent in sex to such an extent that would be painful for just me at the end when I am left dissatisfied.. I don't know what to do, my husband wants to make me happy but unfortunately he rarely manages to. If I say this to him or even cry involuntarily he becomes really depressed and I don't want that at all?

I sincerely need advice....if anyone can help me out.....

Thanks

- ashfar