Hi I am hindu i met one omani guy who is arab and proposed me I too liked him and am ready to embrace islam but i am really worried he may marry another women after some time. how many women a muslim man can marry? does he need to take permission of wife? or just like that he brings a new wife? I can’t ask him directly coz it hurts him any one pls answer me…
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Written by lava on July 16th, 2007 with no comments.
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November 29, 2006
This question is answered by Wael Abdelgawad, the AskBilqis.com and Zawaj.com Editor and Administrator.
QUESTION:
Dear Bilqis,
Can I see my future husband before marriage?
- Nadia from Morocco
WAEL ANSWERS:
Dear Nadia, As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
Yes, of course you can see him. I don’t know how things are in Morocco, or if your culture is very conservative, but Islam allows the prospective bride and groom to meet one another and talk.
However, your meeting should not be in private, in other words it should not be just the two of you alone. You should meet in a public place with a chaperone, for example her parents.
You can talk about your ideas about life and your future, and your ideas about marriage, so you can find out if you are compatible for marriage and if you like each others’ character.
Both parties must observe proper rules of Islamic hayaa and etiquette. That means controlling the gaze, not touching one another, and discussing only subjects that are “ma’roof”, in other words nothing lewd or inappropriate.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.
Glory to You Allah, we praise You, we bear witness that there is no God except You, we ask Your forgivess and we repent to You.
Best regards,
- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator
AskBilqis.com Islamic Marriage and Family Advice
ZAWAJ.COM Muslim Matrimonials and More!
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Written by wael on November 29th, 2006 with 3 comments.
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October 19, 2006
QUESTION:
Dear Wael,
Does a Muslimah have to take off her hijab before the prospective husband makes a marriage proposal?
- Riffat from USA
WAEL ANSWERS:
Dear Riffat, As-salamu alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
I assume you are asking because you are interested in a particular woman but you want to see her without her hijab before you propose.
The short answer is no, she does not have to take off her hijab and you should not ask her to do so.
Why is it necessary to see her hair? You can see face and her hands even with her hijab on, and you can get a general idea of her figure. If she is wearing niqab then you should definitely ask her to show her face, since there can be no attraction if you do not like her face. But this should be enough. Why should the color or style of her hair matter? Be modest and approach her with modesty.
I posted a recent article on Zawaj.com titled 7 Etiquettes of Seeking a Spouse: an Islamic Perspective. In that article this same issue was discussed by Imam Muhammad Nur Abdullah of St. Louis, Missouri, a member of the North American Fiqh Council. I will reprint a section of the article here, as it is quite relevant. Pay attention especially to the last part:
If you’re looking for a spouse, lower your gaze
This may seem like a contradiction, but it’s not. Looking for a spouse who has the right qualities and whom you are physically attracted to does not mean throwing out the obligation to lower the gaze for both sexes and leering or ogling the person.
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do.” (Quran 24:30)
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms…” (Quran 24:31)
This perspective (staring or leering) would not be Islamically acceptable. Imam Nur Abdullah noted that looking at a potential mate is recommended according to the Hadith. Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah the Prophet said:
“When one of you asks a woman for marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so….” (Abu Dawud).
This means the two potential spouses can look at each other but not ogle or stare. Abdullah also noted that there is no limit on the number of times the two people can look at each other. However, both should fear Allah and remember the purpose of this is to satisfy the need for physical attraction to the person you are marrying. He also notes it is not permissible for a man to see a potential wife without Hijab, since he is not her Mahram (a relative with whom marriage is not possible, or legally her husband). Abdullah says seeing her face and hands are enough to determine attraction.
Whatever I have said that is true and good, Alhamdulillah, and whatever I have said that is wrong is from me and I ask Allah’s forgiveness.May Allah guide you and bless you in all your affairs.
- Wael Abdelgawad, Zawaj.com and AskBilqis.com Editor
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Written by wael on October 19th, 2006 with 3 comments.
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