Allah is 'Al-Mujeeb' - The one who responds

Aslam waalikum....

Dear All,

I love a girl and I want to marry her. I want to have my Rab's agreement for this relationship, so I have a required dua for this so that I recite that dua,  and my RAB agrees with my dua & he write that girl in HAK.

Please help me and make dua for me. I know that I do not know all of you and I have no right to say anything, but as a friend I request all of you. If you could, make Fariyad(Request) one time only. You say" Ya Mere RAB Isko iska pyar se nikah kabul kr le, AAMIN," to my mighty Lord. Please, one time please.

Thanx n regrds,
Mustakim

Salaam!

5 years ago, I started crushing on my cousin in law when I first met him at my cousin (and his brother's) wedding. We live like 400 miles apart, so we don't see each other often so I would have expected to totally get over it, but that doesn't seem to be the case at all. I saw him and his family about 2 months ago when they came, and I think I've fallen in love with him! My cousin (who knows about my feelings for him) told me a lot about him and he seems like such a wonderful guy, I also observed him a lot myself and I was very impressed. Ever since I saw him again 2 months ago, I've been thinking endlessly about him and marriage/love. I seem to have an obsession with marriage now.

But the problem is, I'm fairly young. However I am mature, and I am not just saying it in favor of myself. I have been through a lot, and I'm still going through a tough time so I have no choice but to be mature in general. Growing up, I always felt like I was different from the other kids but didn't quite know what it was, but I later started to see after I realized most of my friends were older than me, and they say I'm mature, also I guess it became really obvious when I realized every time I met someone new, I would spend at least 2 minutes convincing them of my actual age, because they always thought me to be 2-4 years older than I actually was. But despite my "maturity", I still think it would be inappropriate to be seriously thinking of marriage because I'm not even done high school yet even though I would really love to get married.

The man I'm in love with is 9 years older than me, so there's really no way of approaching him without an elder. My cousin keeps pushing me to do something before his family finds a wife for him, but I don't know what to do, I'm extremely shy and I am not comfortable talking to my parents cause we don't have that kind of relationship. One of my uncles, keeps saying he's gonna find a husband for me, at first I took it as a joke but I later realized he was serious. Most of my female cousins here got married when they were 21, straight out of college.

I'm stuck and I don't know what to do, I'm very confused and it's killing me especially because I feel like I'm wasting time and if I take my sweet time the guy I love will marry another woman.. please help

~SarauniyaGH

Asalaamu Alaykum,

I am interested in marrying a certain female student, but would like to find out if the conditions that will prevail after the marriage would be permissible in Islam:

First, would it be permissible for the woman to continue to live separately in the city she is currently studying, which is about 350km away? In a whole year, she will come home for 3 months, and this will continue for the next 3 years before she completes her university education.

Second, would it be permissible to delay having children for 3 years in order to allow her to complete her education without maternity breaks?

Last, would it be compulsory and halal and to fully finance the rest of her university education?

May Allah bless you for your help. Jazaakallaahu khair!

Hashim.

It was brought to my knowledge that my fiancee is not a virgin. It is hard for me to accept this and I have wanted to ask someone about it. She lost it to the guy she was dating prior to me and she didn't tell me because she thought that I would leave her.

Now I don't know what to do or think.

Should I accept her still or should I back off from everything?

-mmoosa245

Salam,

I am 21 year old and live in the UK and I am friends with someone of the opposite sex. This person is older than me by  2 years,  and  I've known this person for quite a long time. I have no attractions towards her at all and she is not attracted to me either, I look at her more like my sister. But the problem is that I have feelings for her younger sister who is my age, I've never spoken with her and not planning on it either. So, I told her older sister who is my friend that I have feelings for her younger sister and told her not to tell her and I told her that I would like to ask for her hand in marriage in two years. I told my parents already and they agreed and soon I will tell her parents. I would like to know that was it haram for me to tell her older sister that I have feelings for her?

Pakiman90.

I am really on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I am 21 yrs old. I live in UK. I am a pious muslimah. MashaAllah I pray five times, fast during ramadhan, wear hijab and try to stay away from haram things. MashaAllah I have never had a boyfriend, infact I speak very little with the guys in my university. I am held back while having a conversation with a person of opposite sex. I was very happy with my life, but my life got screwed up a month ago when my classmate proposed to me. He wants to marry me. It came as a big shock for me. I didn't accept his proposal. I told him that I will marry as per my parent's choice, and my parents will never agree for this alliance as he is from India and I am from pakistan.

The problem is that I want to avoid him but I can't. we study in the same class and it becomes difficult to avoid him. He even calls me sometimes. I don't want to answer his calls but I can't stop myself. I end up picking up his call, although we just talk about studies and nothing else. But I feel guilty when ever I speak to him. this guilt is killing me from inside. I vow every single morning that I'll not speak to him but I end up speaking to him. I have started to hate myself for this.

I can't concentrate on my prayers anymore. I feel Allah is going far from me. I think I am a weak Muslim thats why I can't avoid him. I feel Allah hates me now. Please help me. How do I get rid of this feeling? how do I avoid him? Have I lost my purity by talking to him even after knowing about his feelings for me? Please help me. I want to get close to my Allah once again.

-credulous

Hi,

I am 22 years old Hindu girl and my boyfriend is 29 years old Muslim man. He was forced to marry from his mother but he is unhappy and so her wife both are going for divorce. Any way my issue is; my parents are currently seeing guys for me and found many. I didn't want to run away and get married to my boyfriend and upset my parents. Another problem is our culture barrier which I am afraid when he will ask my hand how will my parents react? I need advice on it, I wanted to make my parents happy so has my love of my life.

Angel sspice.

AOA
I need advice if I should contact someone for marriage proposal. I am 25 year old, neither married nor interested in anyone but I recently visited family and got to know about this person who is unmarried and not interested in anyone. He is in-law to my aunty, I don't know if I should contact him. He is a good practising Muslim and from good family. If I should contact him, then is text message a better way to contact as he isn't in my city.

JazakaAllah,

Miss T.

July 6 2010:

I am attracted to my big brother's wife. She is younger than me and I’m not married and I am 26 year old. I want to tell you how it began? I am doing my MBA and I have got one subject left. That’s why I have to stay home, because going to university just for 1 subject means I attend twice in a week, the rest of the time I was at home. I was very upset, and that’s why my 1 subject was left and now I have to wait 6 months to get job. I was tense but my sister-in-law shows me attitude again and again. I don’t know why she is doing this. I was very upset about my MBA and because of her, so I decided to leave my house and stay alone but I would change my mind and then stay. When I saw no change in her; I tried to hurt her so that she can realize. I tried to touch her and she said to me “what are you doing?” then again I did the same. She told my mum that I did something wrong with her but she won't tell her what I did. Then, I continued this thing and finally she tell me about herself, that she’ll never show me attitude. She talks less and her face shows attitude but she is not like this. She told me everything about her.

Then I told my sister-in-law that I’m very upset about my MBA and because of her, that it’s not my fault it’s my teacher’s fault. She listened to me and showed me sympathy. We were coming too close to each other, sharing every thing to each other but not physically. We are coming too close that me and my brother went together outside and my brother talks less and we both enjoy ourselves. She trusts me and tells me everything and I trust her I tell her every thing about me. We were feeling like we are in heaven, enjoying the most together. But then what happened was that I was attracted to her so so much that I tried touching her hands in humour, her neck and her face. She told me don’t do this it’s not allowed in Islam but, I began doing this. Then one day I grabbed her and she laughed and I thought that she wants some. I grab her the next day and try to kiss her but she told me don’t do this but I thought that she is just showing attitude. I continued this thing and my mum came she told her that I came to her to rape her. However, I never thought about that. She told her own parents and my parents as well as my brother. She left the house when I started continuously doing wrong with her 5 to 6 times.

Then, her parents came to us to give a guarantee that I will never do that again. I contacted her and said sorry to her, and she forgave me but tells me that please don’t do this again. I pray 5 times and say dua so that I can forget her but I can’t. I say sorry to Allah and say dua to get me out of this situation. I sometimes sms her or call her every night because I can’t stay away from her. I get upset if I can’t talk to her. She came back and I told her that I want to marry her and to do something about it but she says it’s not possible now. She told me that her husband won’t give her and she began to fall in love with him but he won’t give her time. And then she finally told me that she loved me when she was not married with my brother but she was unable to tell me. Now, I got so upset to learn that the one I love has loved me some time before. What can I do now? If I say anything to her about marriage she tells her husband or anyone. I don’t know why she won’t take me seriously, she says to me that she knows my situation and that I’m upset but that this thing has no future so please leave this topic. My brother told me finally, and warns me to stay away from her or he will leave this house with her.

What can I do? I am always thinking about her every minute. I have lost myself, I have forgotten what it is that I have to do in the future. Please give me some advice.

Oct 16 2010:

I haven't told you that she holds the 'quran' and tells me that she is not interested in me and she won't play any game against me. She told me that she can never do this wrong thing which is zina. If I do this how I face Allah? She is right from that point of views and I know I am wrong but this is the fact that when you fall in love there is nothing you can do to make you normal. I have done everything to stay away from her. We both fight together involving my family members which was so intense specially for me because everyone blames me not her because if they blame her she will leave the house, they don't want to hurt her. Two times I attempted suicide, eat the sleeping tablets but both time my family members took me to the hospital. My parents and sisters care for me but what they can do, the thing I want is not possible. I realize that no body can help me even my own brother if he loves me he will leave her for me but no and now she told me that she won't love me stay away from me. First she said she cares for me and I know she have some love left for me after she got married to my big brother. She told me that I am her best friend very close to her and now she tells me that I am the biggest tension in her life.

She says I mean nothing to her she hates me she don't want to see me she is very happy when I leave the house, imagine how it hurts when I heard this. I know she just said that because she want me to hate her so that I can forget her. After the fight I leave the house 3 to 4 times so that I can forget and hate her but it doesn't work because her thoughts grabs me I finally failed to hate her and stay away from her. She is beautiful no doubt and I think she is the only one beautiful with good nature but no its not right; there are so many beautiful girls. what I can do to make myself hate her, her every move attracts me towards her. I finally make up my mind that I just talk to her because I can't stay away from her but then her moves attracts me, every move every thing she talk. My mind failed finally and began thinking wrong about her. I told her I don't want to lose you please always stay with me but i don't know how I will marry the other girl if I still think about her. I pray always that she never hurt me again and please Allah realize her that how much I love her so that she can't hurt me more and I pray from Allah that he is the only one who can help me to get rid of this problem. This is true that if you love someone and living with her how difficult it is to stay away from her and don't touch her.

Pray for me; I have lost; I want to become normal, a normal person like was a year and a half ago.

June 20 2011:

My family and my relatives know about this and my brother took her away with him for 6 months to a rented house, in those 6 months I threw the things of the house, destroyed the things, destroyed the watch, the TV remote, tables , chairs etc, cry every single day and night. I told my family that I want to marry her but no one agrees with that; they said you are going mad. I did this because I want her to be my wife; I lust for her. I am going mad, many times I wanted to attempt suicide but then I stopped, the punishment in a jail is easy but the punishment I got is really a curse from Allah. Hardly hardly I got away a month ago from now I got away from that situation. I am OK now but I still love her and want to talk to her but not lust for her. 4 days ago, she and my brother came back to our house. I tried to talk to her and finally my family members allowed her to talk to me. I blamed her, I got angry on her, why she hurt me these 6 months, I said to her; you know that I can't live without you then why you go away from me you know I can't live without you. Then, she tells me that she understands me, tell me that this was good for both of us and our families. I told her to be my sister, she accepts and she was very happy but last day I grab her again, I do nothing but grab her. She then got upset the whole day she said you will never change.

You broke my trust again and again. Today I want to talk to her but she ignores me again and again. I want a girl to marry but I have a job which is not beneficial after marriage. I tried hard but the country's conditions are worst. I am in trouble, I am in middle of every thing; nothing is going good. I pray 5 times a day and also started reading Holy Quran but from 2 days because of her I am in no shape to pray, i remain unclean. What I can do, on one hand I can't live without her; I want her in this house, those 6months were very difficult for me when she was but on other way if she stay here, I lose my control and also unable to pray. What is the solution; please help me. help me. I never hurt anyone, everyone makes an example of me and my family in good way before all this happened. We never hurt anyone, why this curse caught us. When this ends? me and my family are exhausted.

Oct 1 2011:

I go to Dubai in search of a job and I got one but she was not attending my calls not talking to me. I became so tense that I decided to suicide but then my cousin told me to go back to your country and ask her to marry you. When I came back my family got away, they came back after a week but she didn't came back; I ask them but they don't tell me. what do I do? I told them please I want to talk to her but they don't listen to me. I finally found her and then ended in a fight, her parents got her away with them because they are going for Hajj and they don't want any disturbance. I just want her. I want to marry her, can it be possible? all family members and relatives are saying no but I can't forget her I just want her. I want her to be with me in Dubai also, some say ask my brother if he is ready to divorce her or some say ask her that if he divorce her she marries you or not. I just want her, my future is on stake. I don't know where I am, I just want her, just her I love her too much. How do I marry her? Please tell me.

SECOND QUESTION:  IS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ALLOWED IN ISLAM?

Is playing video games allowed in Islam or not. And also I am playing wrestling games named WWE Smack down vs Raw from 10 years and when I play I write all the matches. I make the matches by my own and then see who wins. Who wins single matches? Who wins titles, simply like the real wwe, raw, smackdown, superstar and ppv shows created by me in this game. I choose some players to play and more players are played by computer. Is all this wrong because often I am engaged in thinking of what matches to be created and who will win the match or title and after that who will challenge. Please tell me is it ok or not according to Islam.

Awannew.

ASSALAM - U - ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATUHU.,
I am 30 years old and currently in the Middle east. I met a Buddhist lady here about 6 months ago and soon fell in love with her (she is slightly older than me and is from Far east). She also has same liking for me and is in love with me. Now since being Buddhist, I am more concerned about her after life and I want to some how change it for the betterment (hoping that if she is able to accept ISLAM her life would be good) she also does not mind converting to ISLAM. We want to get married and start life together INSHALLAH. But I am not sure how far my parents will be supportive, but for the cause of making some ones life more meaningful and bring them to the path to righteousness, I want to marry her.

But in case (ALLAH forbid) if my parents do not agree, I cannot agree and she is left betrayed and does not convert to ISLAM. On the day of Judgement, I will be accountable for having broken someone's trust as well as not having taken the steps to bring some one to the straight path right? Please help me. I don't want her to end up in hell on the day of judgement and want to help as much as I can in this world and also to make her life more meaningful in the Aakhirah. I don't know how to take this matter to my parents given the odds of we come from different religion, age and ethnic background (religion would not be an issue as I want her to follow ISLAM). Can any one advice please ?
JAZAK ALLAH KHAIR,

Noor_inlife.