Dancing and music is haram, but we all do it.

Because it is haram, is this the only reason why slow dancing at my wedding day is forbidden? Even if its only in front of other women?

The only man present would be the groom.

Can someone provide me with a verse from the Quran about this or even a hadeeth close to this?

- malaika0082ama

I don't know if I want to go through with this wedding

I am very confused about my wedding that should I get married or not.

My wedding date is coming closer but I am not happy.

The guy I am getting married is very nice. We know each other for past seven years. Starting six years our relation was going very smoothly because we were not mature enough and we were just having fun. We used to never discuss about marriage and all. But this last year changed my opinion because I find him very suspicious. He doesn't  like me working, talking to anyone. I always gave him freedom but he was always over possessive about me. We always fight with each other. That Charm is not there only in our relation.

Now I feel that I am not going to be happy with him. Our thinking doesn't match. I feel that I am going to spoil his life. I only need time to know him better. I really need time. I am not ready for this wedding. Should I tell this to my Parents?

I told him that we need time for our relationship but he doesn't think the way I do. He tells me that everything will be fine after marriage. But just tell me that if  I am not satisfied with this relationship and I am not sure, then how can I keep him happy?

Please advice. Should I marry or give time to my relationship or leave him?

It may be that I dont love him anymore.

Regards

Shagufta Shaikh

The consequences of infidelity and adultery

Hi.. I am from Pakistan. I was married for 6 yrs. It was nikkah so according to our elders we werent allowed to sleep with each other. In pakistan there is another ceremony called "giving away the bride", thats when the girl leaves house to live with the husband.

Anyway, since we hadn't done the GiveAway ceremony, we weren't allowed to sleep with each other but of course me and my husband did. I didn’t like doing it with him at all though. There were only a few times that I initiated the sex within the six years of our marriage.

There were so many restrictions that were brought upon us by our families. I went to school in a different state and ended up sleeping with another guy. Slowly we started falling in love. This went on for almost three years. My husband didn't know that I was cheating on him. I realy didn't feel that I was doing anything wrong cuz I never felt that I was married cuz of all the restrictions.

I know it still doens’t justify me cheating on him. In the beginning my husband thought that I was cheating on him but I told him I wasn’t (when I actually was). Anyway me and my husband would fight on the phone so much that it came down to talks of divorce. He still loves me very much and does not want to divorce. But I have this guilt inside me of cheating on him (I haven't told him).

I feel like he deserves better so I am asking for a divorce. He loves me so SO SO much.. he was crying so much when I told him I have signed the papers and asked him to sign them.

Now what do I do? I feel so terrible cuz I know how much he loves me, and us getting divorced will literally ruin his life! But I am too chicken to tell him that I cheated on him. Also I am afraid that he might tell his family about what I did and then I wont be able to face them. I am so afraid that Allah will punish me for breaking his innocent heart and also that he donest even know the real reason of why we are getting divorced. He just knows that we had too many fights in the past yrs and the trust is not there. He insists we can work on it which I know we can but this guilt is telling me that he desrves better!

1. Should I tell him that I cheated on him and hope that he forgives me and we can work on it quitely (but I am afraid of what he will think of me in the future and might seek revenge on me)

2. Should I just go with the divorce?

3. Should I just get back with him without telling him about my cheating... cuz I told him once that I have done stuff in the past and that he doesn't deserve me.. but he deserves some one better.. He said he doesn't care about the past, just wants to get back with me. (But doesn't Islam say that a chaste man for chaste woman.. i am not chaste anymore.. can i still stay with him?)

BATTICALOA, SRI LANKA - JANUARY 9: Sri Lankans pray during Sunday mass at St. Mary's catholic church January 9, 2004 in Batticaloa, Sri Lanka.

I am in Sri Lanka and would like you to answer my question as soon as possible.

I am a Malay Muslim man in love with a Catholic woman, and planning to marry her.

I have suggested her and her family to have a nikah ceremony and thereafter have a reception. Her parents have agreed for this, but they want to have the engagement in the church where there won't be any signing, and only have a half mass. They want to show their relations.

Is there any problem in having the engagement in the church?

- Yazee

Another question is about slow dancing between the husband and wife in front of people during their wedding celebration, is it haram?

- Sister Mona

I am planning to get married in November. My partner's two brothers got married last week and we have been told by one of his relatives that you cannot have three weddings, in one family in an Islamic year.

Just wanted to know if this is true?

Slightly concerned as this is the first I have heard of it. If so, what are the reasons why?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards

- Salma

I am a Canadian, but will be attending a Muslim shower and wedding.

Please give me suggestions on appropriate gifts. Thanks.

Wael's Answer:

Dear Canadian,

I don't think the issue of religion matters much, as long as you don't bring wine or other liquor.

Brother Muhammad (in the comments below) suggested a smoothie maker and that sounds great. In fact any quality kitchen appliance is good, or hey, how about an iPod? I would LOVE to get one of those, the only problem being who is going to use it, husband or wife? Okay, strike the iPod.

How about a gift certificate to a really nice restaurant in town? Or if they are just moving into their own home, something for the house, like a set of Egyptian cotton towels.

Flowers in a nice vase are always a good gift, since what you are really giving is the vase.

There are a few things I would avoid. At my wedding, several people gave us crystal, as in crystal bowls, glasses, etc. What's with all the crystal? We never used any of it. And one older man gave my wife a negligee! That was just creepy and inappropriate.

Anyway, use your imagination. The fact that they are Muslim is not terribly relevant.

I published an article suggesting gifts for a Muslim woman some time ago. It was actually intended for husbands trying to think of good gifts for their wives, but I'm sure you can get some great ideas from it. Here it is:

30 Gift Ideas for a Muslim Woman

(Since I first published it, the list has grown to 33 gift ideas).

Best Regards,

Wael Abdelgawad
IslamicAnswers.com Editor