I have cheated on my boyfriend, how can I get him back?
Assalaamu alaikum brother/sister,
I'm an international student in a university, I was in a relationship with a guy for seven years when I was living back home; by that time we also committed zina. We decided we would come abroad for higher studies and live together here. But somehow he didn't get his visa but I did and I came here because my parents put in too much money for this.
After I came here things started to get bad, he got into a depression state and was jealous of me coming abroad, he used to constantly hurt me and be rude and it eventually made me fed up of him and we had a fight and didn't talk for 20 days.
By that time I met this new guy who was a very good person, always prayed Salaah and motivated me to do so. He gave me idea of hijaab and I started wearing it. He basically introduced me to Allah's mercy a lot more than I knew previously. I fell in love with him and we kissed which was only a spur of the moment. I wanted a person like him to be my husband who will guide me through Allah's path and I will do the same for him.
I was afraid to tell him that I committed zina with my previous bf but I told him I was in an abusive relationship (which was true). Somehow my ex knew about this and he contacted my new bf and he told everything about us.
However, I tried to manage things and we were in a good place with our relationship and even decided to get married as I have also committed zina with him. But I got dragged again with my previous bf and cheated on my new bf a number of times. I went back home last year and I met my ex, which my new bf got to know about. So now he hates me too much but I fell in love with him. I'm trying to repent to Allah but whenever I ask myself why did I cheat? I get no answer from my heart.
I feel very guilty for my new bf because he always supported no matter how much it hurts him. I still want to get married to him but he hates me too much as well as his family (who knew of my wrongdoings too). I also feel ashamed to post this here, but I have no other option to seek advice from someone in an Islamic perspective. Can you please advise me on what to do?
Thank you,
- Nafisa
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What you done and doing is wrong you are just on bad path you should ask allah for forgiveness and stay away from your boyfriends i cannot muslim people are getting so bad you should so ashamed of your self cant believe it
asalamalaikum nafisa,
theres is only one advise- DO NOT HAVE BOYFRIENDS.
you are asking advise from islamic perspective ad islamic perspective is that there is no place for boyfriends. however in this day n age when there is free mixing of genders, such things are bound to happen. not necessarily people who end up comitting sins dont have good islamic upbringing but shaytan is on the look for such moments where we can loose our iman and sucumb to our nafs.
cut off all your ties with these men, they are not doing you any good. if they are really interested in marrying you direct them towards your parents. Allah helped you by bringing you to a new place so that you can stay away from the sins you were comitting before, but you ended up doing it again. take it as an another oppurtunity to dissociate yourself from these sins.
allah is all merciful and all forgiving , seek help from him.
girl u can not make it good again forget them both...because both of them gonna use u they will not forgive u ever....but first of all ask for forgivness of allah....then say them both that u are sorry for ur deeds and u regret so that is all and say sorry and say them that u want to be strong in ur deen that is why shaitan can play with ur feelingss.....
GIRL LEAVE THEM BOTH...DONT BE IN LOVE WITH HUMANBEEN BE IN LOVE WITH ALLAH....
Trust me no matter how much u love those guys,,, u will forget them both when u start loving ur allah and ur body....
may allah be with u
My Sister,
I think the responses above are good.
I have one additional point: The best thing for you right now is to work on your faith in Allah, and your ability to follow His will. Pray. Seek His wisdom and he will help you. Make sure you have repented from your haraam acts, asked Allah for forgiveness, and have a firm resolve never to commit zina, in any of its form, again.
I also offer the opinion that it is best that you not think about men for a while, just to get your mind clear. After that, ask your Wali to help you select a suitable husband. And don't go looking for one on your own, it is haraam. and your history shows that this is very risky for you. You are young and have a wonderful life ahead of you if you follow the halaal path and work to please Allah.
-American Muslim
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Sister Nafisa,
Please listen carefully!!!Please read carefully!!!Please take a heed of what your respected brothers and sisters are telling you in here!!!Please come to REALISATION!!! Please!!!! Please realise you are surrounded in SINSsinsSINS!!! Really bad and ugly sins!!! Please sister LEAVE HARAM!!! Turn to ALLAH (swt)!!! The ONE who created you and the ONE who is going to QUESTION you and QUESTION all of us on judgement day!!!PLEASE DON'T GO TO THESE SINFUL BOYS!!!All you THREE have SINNED and are still SINNING!!!PLEASE turn to ALLAH(swt) for forgivness!!!Please REPENT to Allah (swt)!!!
Sister, surely Allah (swt) did you created you for this purpose. Surely your respected parents will be ASHAMED of your sinful acts!!! please sister, REFRAIN yourself from these SINS. Please purify yourself, please purify your soul. Please sit back! And realise your ERRORS!!! Please become a better MUSLIMAH. Leave these boys who unlawfully fulfilled their desires with you. Please leave them because you also unlawfully fulfilled your desires with them!!! There is no such thing as boyfriend/girlfriend in ISLAM!!!
Please don't think about marriage!!! Think about your hereafter!!!your hereafter is the real deal!!!not these boys nor marriage!!! Please sister realise your MISTAKES!!!
Please listen to your sisters and brothers in here!!! Shed your tears and turn to your Lord Allah (swt) for forgiveness!!!Through forgivness, only and only Allah (swt) may give you peace of mind and heart in this life and inshaAllah, paradise in the HEREAFTER.
Please sister start fresh and make good provisions for your hereafter!
I can't believe you saying your new bf pray and suggest you to wear Hijab! But in mean time he commuted zina? Lol sorry for being rude but how can he be good muslim? He suggest good thing to other but he committed zina with you? I really dot get it!!!! Anyways sister all the response are very good you should convert ur mind towards Allah 100%.
i’ve been struggling a lot with my deen and been making so many
mistakes and hurting people. i have just moved to a new town and there no muslims here i’m friends with all guys i wear crop tops and show my body and i had a bf but i cheated on him and he found out and i regret it so much i regret it all so so so much my mom knew and him and we were planning on getting married both of our families knew abt each other and now were over. i don’t know how to fix things i don’t know what to do my heart aches knowing i hurt him. he was so great and i was terrible. what do i do. i don’t know why i did the things i did and idk how to go back from them i want to be closer w my deen and ask for forgiveness and guidance but i feel like there’s no point because how bad of a path i’m on and how badly o hurt someone. and idk how to tell my mom we broke up. he did so much for me always i want to apologize so badly. but he was great my mom loved him he decline many proposals bc of him he did so much for me and my family he had a great family i want to marry into and the person who told him all this was my so called friend
"muslim girly", you can ALWAYS return to your deen. Allah will welcome you with open arm, He will accept your repentance. I think you have a good heart and a good conscience. You know what you need to do. Give up the haram lifestyle, and associate with Muslim friends. Move on from the mistakes of the path. You can do it, I am sure.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hello sister,
I do not know if you reliease how much trouble you have gotten yourself into. You have commited zina one of the most major sins in Islam. Having a boyfriend was a wrong decision, the devil is smart he will not make u commit a big sin at once but start off little. One of the best ways to get you to commit zina is by making you have a boyfriend you will began with minor acts such as kissing touching, hugging and it will progress until you make the biggest zina which is full sexual intercourse.
Sister , you do not need both these men in your life, after reading your post it is obvious they are both using you. Using your body to get their desires they do not respect you nor care for you and they will surely not marry you.
You need a fresh start. Repent ALLAH is most merciful , inshALLAH he will forgive you of your sins and you can then began to purify yourself your soul purify your body with water and make sure no man touches it again expect your future husband. My dear sister your body is a tool ALLAH gave you , ALLAH created it and gave it to you to respect it , what you are doing is the opposite , since you are still alive it is not too late to change your ways. It wil be a hard journey but you will get through bisenALLAH
ALLAH bless you take care
There is no way to have boyfriend in islam . You want to use islam to get your boyfriend back it means you love your boyfriend more than every thing even Allah . The best way is asking for forgiveness from Allah and love Allah and his messenger the most . so Allah will open the door of happiness for you and guide you through paradise inshallah .
Calm down my sister, you have NOT cheated on ANYBODY because your boyfriend is not halal for you in the first place lol.
just ask Allah to forgive you in this blessed month.
remember, you have not cheated on anyone