Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is it a coincidence or is there a real connection?

coincedence

Found the needle in the haystack.

Assalam O Alaikum,

My husband lives abroad and he is a righteous person Masha Allah. He always asks me to offer 5 times prayers and thanks Allah (swt) all the time for everything. However, I feel like I am drifting away from my religion and also I lie to my husband sometimes. I have noticed that whenever I commit any sin, my husband suffers from some kind of loss. My question is that, is there any kind of connection between this or is it just a coincidence? I love my husband a lot and I want to become a better person.

Noxious86


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3 Responses »

  1. As salamu alaykum, Noxious,

    This is my personal opinion, then please, take it with a grain of salt.

    In this world every person affects to other, in the special case of a married couple you share an extremely intimate bond, you have chosen consciously to share your lives and this decision has consequences, what he does affects you and what you do affects him. Simple, but this is the way.

    If you put seeds on earth that are good for you, both of you will get benefit from it, the same if he does it, if the seeds you plant are not good it will affect him, too. Then when you care about yourself, you are sending a message I care about you, and when you care about him, you are sending a message, I care about me, the reverse functions the same.

    Then for me, the bond that is shared between husband and wife, it is not a bond of blood, but its depth I don´t think it can be calculated for a human mind.

    I will share with you a beautiful writing that brought tears to my eyes when I read it:

    On Marriage in Islam

    by Dr. Sherif Mohammed

    By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

    She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

    When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

    The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).

    The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72) Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

    But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured. "

    About your iman, don´t lie to your husband, be honest, we are all weak sometimes and to be honest will encourage in you to do it right the next time, to pray is between Allah(swt) and you, ask him to inspire your Heart, learn His beautiful Names and His Attributes, read the Quran and the Sunah, listen to the Quran, pray duas, do your salat on time, all of these will increase your iman, insha´Allah. Take your time, go step by step, you will be back on track sooner than you think, insha´Allah.

    All my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,

    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • And be sure of something, you are already a good person striving for excellence, Alhamdulillah.

      Barak Allah Feekum.

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. That was a beautiful description of a healthy marriage Maria, may Allah grant everyone the same in their marriage.

    Sister Noxious,

    Everything carries with it a sign from Allah but only those who want to 'see' will recognise it. Your instincts and your subconscious are telling you that you 'misbehaviour' is incurring Allah's wrath. So don't ignore it.

    Likewise, if you pursue a path of honesty and piety, you will gain Allah's blessings. You are fortunate if you have a husband who gently encourages you towards deen. Instead of taking advantage of his good nature, appreciate it.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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