Comments for Islamic Advice http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis Common Sense Answers to Islamic Marriage and Family Questions Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:49:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.5 Comment on I just married a Muslim and he won’t let me continue being friends w/a male by goose http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/i-just-married-a-muslim-and-he-wont-let-me-continue-being-friends-wa-male/#comment-10972 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:50:00 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/i-just-married-a-muslim-and-he-wont-let-me-continue-being-friends-wa-male/#comment-10972 Hi Amanda, I am not a Muslim, however I do have some comments on your situation! Firstly and fundamentally, you should not convert to a religion simply for the fact that your husband believes in it. One of our democracies most significant civil liberties, is the freedom of religion (and the freedom from religion also falls within this freedom). You should worship a religious deity or adhere to religious beliefs, simply because you believe the religious professings and the faith is true. I do not believe that a spouse should visit their friend, in the context that you have provided, without the other spouse's company. This is not to say that a spouse should not have the freedom to visit a friend, without their spouse's say so. But simply as a spouse to provide assurance and respect for the other partner's feelings, out of love and respect, and to have some protection in the situation where the friend's feelings might be shown to resurface. Your husband should not have sought to divorce you on such grounds. Yes, he may be jealous and have felt threatened by your request, but to divorce a partner for this?! That was a unloving, immature and rash response. Your desire to go to your friend's wedding is fine, if you and your spouse have shown yourselves to be trustworthy. Though yes, out of love for your spouse you should have gently asked him that you wanted him to come along I hope this helps! Good luck and best wishes on building a relationship based on trust, love, forgiveness, and respect! Hi Amanda,

I am not a Muslim, however I do have some comments on your situation!

Firstly and fundamentally, you should not convert to a religion simply for the fact that your husband believes in it. One of our democracies most significant civil liberties, is the freedom of religion (and the freedom from religion also falls within this freedom). You should worship a religious deity or adhere to religious beliefs, simply because you believe the religious professings and the faith is true.

I do not believe that a spouse should visit their friend, in the context that you have provided, without the other spouse’s company. This is not to say that a spouse should not have the freedom to visit a friend, without their spouse’s say so. But simply as a spouse to provide assurance and respect for the other partner’s feelings, out of love and respect, and to have some protection in the situation where the friend’s feelings might be shown to resurface.

Your husband should not have sought to divorce you on such grounds. Yes, he may be jealous and have felt threatened by your request, but to divorce a partner for this?! That was a unloving, immature and rash response. Your desire to go to your friend’s wedding is fine, if you and your spouse have shown yourselves to be trustworthy. Though yes, out of love for your spouse you should have gently asked him that you wanted him to come along

I hope this helps!

Good luck and best wishes on building a relationship based on trust, love, forgiveness, and respect!

]]> Comment on SEND YOUR QUESTION by afghan88 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/send-your-question/#comment-10960 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:40:04 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/send-your-question/#comment-10960 hi i was engaged 5 years ago when i was 15 i didnt want to marry the guy but they did it anyways right now im engaged i dont want to mary him they have did my nikah can u give me some advise if i dont marry the guy will i be able to marry someone else if he doesnt give me a divorce the nikah was forced is my nikah right or wrong do i have to marry him even though the nikah was forced plz give me an answer ASAP thank u FROM MARIA hi i was engaged 5 years ago when i was 15 i didnt want to marry the guy but they did it anyways right now im engaged i dont want to mary him they have did my nikah can u give me some advise if i dont marry the guy will i be able to marry someone else if he doesnt give me a divorce the nikah was forced is my nikah right or wrong do i have to marry him even though the nikah was forced plz give me an answer ASAP thank u FROM MARIA

]]> Comment on what do i do? i got a sikh woman pregnant by annas http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/what-do-i-do/#comment-10944 Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:15:31 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/what-do-i-do/#comment-10944 hi its a tough situation, what i would do if i hate her so much is that get custody from court when child is born so you can see the child and take her or him out, etc, spend as much time as you can.do your bit as a father. this secret is best if its kept away from your family. it will cause too much heart breaking process. perhaps one day when you marry someone you can then tell your parents. at this time they will be happy you have done something about it as you will be married with a child. besides this is there any other option? hi its a tough situation, what i would do if i hate her so much is that get custody from court when child is born so you can see the child and take her or him out, etc, spend as much time as you can.do your bit as a father. this secret is best if its kept away from your family. it will cause too much heart breaking process. perhaps one day when you marry someone you can then tell your parents. at this time they will be happy you have done something about it as you will be married with a child.
besides this is there any other option?

]]> Comment on SEND YOUR QUESTION by ameena1097 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/send-your-question/#comment-10937 Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:33:10 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/send-your-question/#comment-10937 i needed to ask a question regarding my marriage. It is kind on the rocks but at the same time on the way to recovery .will explain more in details when someone responds i needed to ask a question regarding my marriage. It is kind on the rocks but at the same time on the way to recovery .will explain more in details when someone responds

]]> Comment on my inlaws are ruining my life! by Sharin http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/inlaws-problems/#comment-10932 Sun, 08 Jun 2008 00:59:20 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/inlaws-problems/#comment-10932 Assalamualaikum Sister, I feel terrible hearing after reading your state.I know its been a while you posted,but how did your labor go? and how are you and the baby doing? Did you find your own place with your husband? What is your parents saying about all this. You know...It isn't your duty to take care of your husband's parents,its your husband's duty.If you don't feel good you don't have to cook and clean for them,make your husband do it.And you don't have to live with your in laws.your doing zulm to yourself and its not right in Islam,do what you can just for the sake of Allah.Allah sees intention.You have the right to ask for a seperate house if your husband has the means to.And your husband should do his best his best in balancing his relationship with you and his family,he married you and now its an obligation on him to look after you and make you feel at ease,he will be asked on the Day of Judgment if he does any injustice to you,taking care and obeying your parents is fardh,but its also an obligation to keep the wife satisfied also. If it's getting impossible to be live with your in laws under the same roof,and your husband isn't being understanding towards you,and isn't looking after your baby then you should make the right decision.And it's completely allowed in Islam,Allah did not ask us to make any kind of zulm(punish) ourselves.Our try should only be to struggle in the path of Allah,be a good servant to Him and follow our beloved Prophet's (Saw) way.Allah is Just,and Islam is Just to all human being. Wassalaam sister,hope to hear from you soon. Assalamualaikum Sister,

I feel terrible hearing after reading your state.I know its been a while you posted,but how did your labor go? and how are you and the baby doing?

Did you find your own place with your husband? What is your parents saying about all this.

You know…It isn’t your duty to take care of your husband’s parents,its your husband’s duty.If you don’t feel good you don’t have to cook and clean for them,make your husband do it.And you don’t have to live with your in laws.your doing zulm to yourself and its not right in Islam,do what you can just for the sake of Allah.Allah sees intention.You have the right to ask for a seperate house if your husband has the means to.And your husband should do his best his best in balancing his relationship with you and his family,he married you and now its an obligation on him to look after you and make you feel at ease,he will be asked on the Day of Judgment if he does any injustice to you,taking care and obeying your parents is fardh,but its also an obligation to keep the wife satisfied also.

If it’s getting impossible to be live with your in laws under the same roof,and your husband isn’t being understanding towards you,and isn’t looking after your baby then you should make the right decision.And it’s completely allowed in Islam,Allah did not ask us to make any kind of zulm(punish) ourselves.Our try should only be to struggle in the path of Allah,be a good servant to Him and follow our beloved Prophet’s (Saw) way.Allah is Just,and Islam is Just to all human being.

Wassalaam sister,hope to hear from you soon.

]]> Comment on I Committed Sins and I Hate My Life by Hana http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/depressed-and-suicidal/#comment-10928 Sat, 31 May 2008 14:38:44 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/depressed-and-suicidal/#comment-10928 Al Salam Alaykom Dear sister i am a 21 years old Mulimah tow.And i sinned alot, i know exactly what you are going through. And i ve been thinking about this.Well Allah sobhanahouwa taala, is the creator of everything.He also created time.Present time the future and the past.if you consider this creation of Allah SwT you will see that there is a big moral in the fact that no one can ever re-make the past.while we can allways maake plans for the future,inshallah. Now what is done is allready done.You may feel the urge to erase all of your history.You can.when you believe.Allah is capable of fixing all these things.think about your future, and try to be effective.give advises to people of your community, prevent them from being where you once were.Learn Hadiths, learn Coran, so that you become able to give full convincing informations,have a full scheduel and surround yourself with people, who are interested in knowing a new Good person. I advise you not to share your past life stories with anyone who might be not trust worthy. because there are persons who will remind you of it every once and a while. You are now too ashamed to face the present. Make things that will make our Prophet Mohamad inshallah proud of you. I will pray for you inshallah.pray for me too :) Al Salam Alaykom
Dear sister i am a 21 years old Mulimah tow.And i sinned alot, i know exactly what you are going through.
And i ve been thinking about this.Well Allah sobhanahouwa taala, is the creator of everything.He also created time.Present time the future and the past.if you consider this creation of Allah SwT you will see that there is a big moral in the fact that no one can ever re-make the past.while we can allways maake plans for the future,inshallah.
Now what is done is allready done.You may feel the urge to erase all of your history.You can.when you believe.Allah is capable of fixing all these things.think about your future, and try to be effective.give advises to people of your community, prevent them from being where you once were.Learn Hadiths, learn Coran, so that you become able to give full convincing informations,have a full scheduel and surround yourself with people, who are interested in knowing a new Good person.
I advise you not to share your past life stories with anyone who might be not trust worthy. because there are persons who will remind you of it every once and a while.
You are now too ashamed to face the present.
Make things that will make our Prophet Mohamad inshallah proud of you.
I will pray for you inshallah.pray for me too :)

]]> Comment on what do i do? i got a sikh woman pregnant by new muslim. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/what-do-i-do/#comment-10925 Thu, 29 May 2008 12:52:59 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/what-do-i-do/#comment-10925 You are a muslim man it doesnt matter about your age you have to contribute in this childs life,then child has the right to have you in there life.I know you have put your self in this postion but now you have to deal with the situation.I know it might seem people are trying to upset you but this is the fact you have to stand up and be a father to your child. You are a muslim man it doesnt matter about your age you have to contribute in this childs life,then child has the right to have you in there life.I know you have put your self in this postion but now you have to deal with the situation.I know it might seem people are trying to upset you but this is the fact you have to stand up and be a father to your child.

]]> Comment on What to get a Muslim for a wedding gift? by inspired_2_inspire_u http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/muslim-wedding-gift/#comment-10921 Tue, 13 May 2008 22:16:14 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/muslim-wedding-gift/#comment-10921 Asalaamu Alaykom I think a great gift would be Islamic books on marriage. There is also a very useful series of lectures by Yasir Birjas called Fiqh of Love. You can find them at http://www.hoor-al-ayn.com/ download them and burn them onto c.d, I am unsure of the copyright on them though but I assume they are safe since they are on an Islamic website. Asalaamu Alaykom

I think a great gift would be Islamic books on marriage. There is also a very useful series of lectures by Yasir Birjas called Fiqh of Love.

You can find them at http://www.hoor-al-ayn.com/ download them and burn them onto c.d, I am unsure of the copyright on them though but I assume they are safe since they are on an Islamic website.

]]> Comment on Reasons to get married by lb_uk http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/reasons-to-get-married/#comment-10898 Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:19:58 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/reasons-to-get-married/#comment-10898 marriage is half your imaan, its sunnat of the prophet (pbuh) marriage is half your imaan, its sunnat of the prophet (pbuh)

]]> Comment on No beauty in marriage, why should I get married? by mona http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/no-beauty-in-marriage-why-should-i-get-married/#comment-10888 Wed, 16 Apr 2008 05:13:04 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/no-beauty-in-marriage-why-should-i-get-married/#comment-10888 salamz sis, Im just passing through all peoples article and crossed yours.. just thought im comment back.. A little bit about me im a 20 year old australian riased and born, /lebanesse backround.. im getting married inshullah may10 2008, ive been engaged for 3yrs now and humdullah im as happy as ever, dont get me wrong but yes of cause there ups and down thats life but i do recommend marriage, in this life there nothing left to complete your religion it does say get married , us women are born as the missing rib in the mans body, so dont just take the bad and judge it at that, and also dont say "uh ok im 30 now thats over due marriage what eva" thats not true i have alot of family members and friends that are that age and older and have'nt yet been married. so just lay back.. inshullah when the right time come allah (SWT) will sent your nasib so be patient sister and like i said see the good not the bad of things (as i talk thru experience) ps. theres nothing left in this world ... think positive.. salamz. salamz sis,

Im just passing through all peoples article and crossed yours.. just thought im comment back..

A little bit about me im a 20 year old australian riased and born, /lebanesse backround.. im getting married inshullah may10 2008,

ive been engaged for 3yrs now and humdullah im as happy as ever, dont get me wrong but yes of cause there ups and down thats life but i do recommend marriage, in this life there nothing left to complete your religion it does say get married , us women are born as the missing rib in the mans body,

so dont just take the bad and judge it at that, and also dont say “uh ok im 30 now thats over due marriage what eva” thats not true i have alot of family members and friends that are that age and older and have’nt yet been married. so just lay back.. inshullah when the right time come allah (SWT) will sent your nasib so be patient sister and like i said see the good not the bad of things (as i talk thru experience)

ps. theres nothing left in this world … think positive..

salamz.

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