I Committed Zinaa, Should I Marry the Guy?
November 29, 2006
This question is answered by Wael Abdelgawad, the AskBilqis.com and Zawaj.com Editor and Administrator.
QUESTION:
Dear Bilqis,
Aslamu elikum warehmatullah
Dear Bilqis, I have a problem, plz give me quick response. I was making a sin of Zinaa. I'm very ashamed of it. I was trapped by the guy. But now i want to marry him, because I don't want to destroy the life of another guy. Plz tell me what can i do? I regularly do Dua to Allah to plz forgive me for this sin.
- D. from Pakistan
WAEL ANSWERS:
Dear Sister D., As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
It seems that you have repented and made tawbah for your actions. That is very good, alhamdulillah. It's commendable that you are now following the correct path and trying to act as a Muslim.
You said that you were "trapped by the guy." I don't know what you mean by this. If you meant that he physically forced you, then this is not Zinaa, it is rape. This would be a crime that he committed against you. This is not a sin by you, because you were the victim of a crime. In this case I would urge you to report this to the authorities so they can take action against him.
Or maybe your saying you were "trapped" by him means that he pressured you emotionally in some way, and you gave in.
In either case, this man is absolutely not a good man and you should not marry him.
Don't worry right now about marrying someone else. Just focus on living your life, being a good Muslim, and healing from this incident. Eventually, when you are ready, you will find someone good Insha'Allah, and you do not have to mention your past at that time, as it is between you and Allah.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.
Glory to You Allah, we praise You, we bear witness that there is no God except You, we ask Your forgivess and we repent to You.
Best regards,
- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator
AskBilqis.com Islamic Marriage and Family Advice
ZAWAJ.COM Muslim Matrimonials and More!
8 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
I know you know That zinaa a is a big sin in the sight of Allah (SWT) but whatever the case may be Allah (SWT) said to his servant who has wrong himself/herself do not deapair with the mercy of Allah because He forgive all sins. We all make mistakes but should not be repeating the same mistakes. Sister in Deen I sincerely advise you to be fasting regularly and begging Allah for forgiveness. I want to remind you that whosover Allah guided is cannot be mislead but whosoever Allah mislead none can guide. Pray to Allah so that he can give you guidance.
I will personally ask Allah to shower His mercy upon you and all of us.
Stay Bless.
You are not allowed to mentioned your past, this zina and if you did then this is a major sin. The prophet (sallallahu alayhi wassalam) said to conceal your dirty filthy things you do with the concealment of Allah. Meaning Allah concealed it for you so that those who do not know, don't know because of Allah. It is disregard for this blessing of Allah to reveal what He has concealed for you.
Just a quick response to Lehaska: this person did not reveal her sin to the public. As you can see her name was not given. She wrote to me anonymously asking for advice. There is nothing wrong with that. People who are need guidance and advice should not be shy to ask for it.
I think you shouldn't feel obliged to marry this person because you comitted zina. I think you should wait for the right person to get married.
Dear Sister, what i am still confused about is whether one is allowed to marry his/her zaani partner? This was not made very clear in the answer. Jazakallah!
You have commited Zinaa so you are no more virgin
I think that if you will another man you have to inform him about your sin otherwise he will know it after marriage
No being rude or take me in the wrong way but all of you lot are just saying that zina is a sin yes we all know that and so dose she
all she is asking is for you lot to give her advice on wheather she should marry this person
i am only 16 and i just commited zina with my boyfriend yes i know its a sin and i will seek for forgiveness but we both want to get marryed when we are 18 but our family wont let us see each other or talk at the end of the end i said the same thing i dont want to ruin another man life cause i know i wont love him like how i love my boyfriend and now me and him are just waiting for that when both familes agree but inshallah they will
so i think you should both get married as i belive you two would be happy together
Spoken like a true 16 year old.
We all commit sins at some point in our life, no one is perfect except Allah. You obviously feel horrible for what you did and have repented. This is an affair between you and your Lord. Only He can judge you for it. If you convince yourself that you should marry him, you will (most likely) end up being miserable in the marriage and at that point, trapped would be an appropriate term to use, as you may have children, cultural restrictions, etc.
As for now, you should not marry him. You should simply distance yourself from him. Any man who in some way lured you into sin, is not good for you (vise versa). Sometimes emotions take the best of us, but its all about what you do afterwards.
Continue to live your life as righteously as you can. Repent often, follow up with good deeds, and know that Allah is Merciful.