Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Converted to Islam but still married to my Christian husband

I am almost 4 yrs separated with my husband.

When I came here to Abu Dhabi, I decided to become Muslim.

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Is marriage to my Christian husband automatically void?

Now that I am muslim, what will happen to my marriage with my Christian husband? Are we automatically divorced because of the ruling on Muslim women not being able to be married to a non-Muslim man?


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21 Responses »

  1. assalamu alaykum dear sister mashlah you have embraced this pure and true religion islam,no your not automatically divorced infact you were never married to him because one is only married if he marries the islamic way the rest are just papers and simple words but when you are a muslim and you get married its a pledge to Allah so i suggest you inform your so called husband that you are muslim and try to give him advice to convert tell him islamically your not lawful to him if he wishes to convert seperate from him and then then let him come and propose islamically then get married islamically THEN YOUR MARRIED FOR REAL :) but if he refuses sis then you have got to be strong divorce him lawfully and make dua and move on with life just remember being a muslim is the best gift.

    • Nadheerah, you need to be careful about the advice you are giving. It's not correct to say, "you were never married to him because one is only married if he marries the Islamic way." That is a very strange statement. Are you saying that all the Christians, Buddhists and Hindus who are married are not really married? That does not make sense and has no basis in Islamic law.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. ok forgive me sister as you can see my brother has just corrected me.ok so wael what advice would you give this women? because she became muslim,so they are still MARRIED " right" ?

    • im speaking of islam here islamically there is no such thing as a non believer married to a non believer right? let me give you an example of what i meant as people tend to read things and take it in the wrong way,look example islamically there is no such thing as drinking alcohol and saying its halaal right? well christians drink alcohol does that make it halaal for them? coz they are christians NO islam is the final religion weather you like it or not alcohol is just haraam ok weather a jew a christian etc. so non believers being married ? never heard of that.

  3. This is the ruling given by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

    http://islamqa.com/en/ref/1826

    Praise be to Allaah.

    As soon as a woman embraces Islam and her husband refuses to do likewise, the marriage is annulled and it is not permissible for her to live with him. But she should wait out the length of the ‘iddah period. If he embraces Islam, she may go back to him and the previous marriage contract is still counted as valid, but if he does not embrace Islam before the ‘iddah is over, then they are no longer married. If he subsequently embraces Islam and they want to get back together, a new marriage contract must be drawn up. It is not permissible to continue the marriage on the basis of being kind to him.

    Majma’ al-Fiqh al-Islami (Islamic Fiqh Council), p. 43.

    The children should follow the Muslim parent, so try your best to get custody of them. May Allaah help us and help you by His kindness and mercy.

    If you want to know what is iddah, then visit:

    http://www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/askimam/ask.pl?q=3037&act=view

  4. Assalamu Aleikum,

    I don't think it's helpful to answer you from a jurisprudential perspective. You have feelings and emotions

    for this man and you share an emotional and physical bonding with him as your husband. It is not

    very sensitive to say things like: The contract is void, file for divorce etc. Maybe you have children and

    they need a mother and a father. If he accepts your conversion and doesn't put obstacles in your way

    in practising the deen, well, that's fine. Sometimes converts approach me and say: Am I still allowed

    to approach my parents,to talk to them or do I have to break off ties with them? No. You have to show

    an akhlagh which is 100 000 times better than your normal akhlagh to make them love Islam and

    convert. Did you know that one of the funniest and coolest Sheikhs of Islam( I'm not sure if he's a

    Sheikh, but definitely cool), Yusuf Estes, used to be a Catholic priest and converted because his

    daughter became Muslim? Akhlagh can change a lot, and even if they don't convert, you're the

    ambassador of Islam and have to be endlessly patient and loving.

    I would me more loving and caring towards my husband than usual, show him the beauty of Islam

    which caters for the spiritual, physical and jurisprudential.

    Be a wonderful wife and maybe he becomes Muslim as well. If he's Catholic, I'm sure there r many

    liberating aspects in Islam he would love.

    I know many marriages in which the wife is Muslim and the husband is not. Depending on religiosity

    and attitude, some of them are very happy marriages.

    At the end of the day, you have to decide what to do. Masha allah the brothers and sisters have

    provided you with the jurisprudential knowledge, but you still have a heart.

    You're not like the rabbit in the battery advertisement who walks and walks and walks and can be switched

    off at any time. You're a human being with feelings and emotions and should be treated like that.

    I wish you good luck, congratulations for embracing Islam.

  5. Assalamu alaikom,

    Sis. Jannah, I'm not sure what you mean by your first sentence. How can it not be helpful to answer from the view of Shari'a? This is divine law not the guidance of man! If this sister wanted secular advice she could have called in to Dr. Laura or sought out a therapist. This is an Islamic website is it not? So it goes without saying that advice would be given in light of the Qur'an and Sunnah.

    That being said, it's true that she has feelings and emotions like everyone else, but this does not trump the decree of the Most High and His Messenger. Rasulillah sall Allahu 'alaihi wa salaam addressed this himself, when asked about the ruling on theft:

    "By Him in Whose Hand is my life, even if Fatima daughter of Muhammad were to commit theft, I would have cut off her hand." Sahih Muslim 17/4188

    He makes it clear here that there is no room for sentimentality or emotion when it comes to obeying Allah subhana wa ta'ala. She shares an emotional and physical bonding with him as her husband, but it is clearly NOT permissable for her to remain with him beyond the period of 'iddah if he has no intention of accepting Islam. It doesn't matter if he accepts her conversion and doesn't put obstacles to her practicing the deen. It doesn't matter if other marriages of this sort are happy marriages, they are still unlawful unions. The ruling is VERY CLEAR in regard to Muslim women being married to non-Muslim men, as outlined in previous posters' replies.

    As Muslims we should always love our brothers and sisters as we love ourselves and want for them what we want for ourselves inshaAllah. That means that we should be concerned with their Hereafter just as we are concerned with ours. We help them in enjoining the good and forbidding the evil.

    The advice that you are giving this sister, though well-intentioned, is actually very harmful advice, because you are encouraging her to follow her own desires instead of obeying Allah SWT and His Messenger. "It is not fitting for a believing man or believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided on a matter, to have any choice in their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path." Surat al-Ahzab 36

    If she decides to resume marital life with him without him accepting Islam, the sin will be borne on her. As you said, it's up to her. She has to be the one who decides whether or not she can bear Allah Azza wa Jal's punishment in the Hereafter. May Allah make things easy for her ameen.

    • Salaams Khadija,

      I agree with you 100%. This is one of those occassions where a God fearing Muslimah would have to sacrifice her love for her non Muslim husband (or automatically ex husband now) for the sake of Allah.

      Of course she will be upset, but that does not change the Law of Allah. On becoming Muslim, a woman can and should continue to show love to her non Muslim parents, because that relationship will remain for always and it is halaal. But the husband wife relationship is fragile. If the man does not accept Islam, he becomes haraam for her. It is very clear.

      It is not clear what type of relationship the sister has with this man or whether she even wants to resume one. But I do think she needs to explain her predicament to her husband/ex and should seek guidance from a qualified imaam about how to interact and deal with him during the iddah period.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. Assalam Alaykum,
    what about children? I was in similar situation, I converted to islam and divorced, but court awarded my children to their father. Meanwhile, I married a muslim man, alhamduillah. But my children do not want to live full time with me (they are 13 and 17). They know, if they move in with me, they have to follow my rules, which is the way of Islam. They prefer to be with their father, because he allows for things i would not.
    It is heartbreaking......all I can do is pray and ask Allah to bring them to me and follow Islam one day, Inchaa Allah...

    Inchaa Allah, you will get your children, sister

    • Walaykumsalaam Shenaz,

      InshAllah may your children be guided. I guess all you can do is be a good example of a Muslim to them when they are with you. You have more of a chance to show them the purity of Islam that way, rather than if you had continued living as a confused Muslim with your ex non Muslim husband.

      I am sure it is difficult and frustrating for you, be gentle with them and make dua that Allah softens their hearts towards Islam soon.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. hi, i am a christian living in dubai married with a christian man but I .....

    (Question deleted by Editor)

    • Kharen,

      Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. Thank you.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I'm fatima converts already in Muslim 1 yrs and I already go in omrah I'm married before but 5trs seprtd I hve lover he want to marry me my question how he marry I don't hve annulment paper in my x Christian husband pls need ur help ..Allah hafiz

        • Salaams,

          If I'm understanding your question correctly, this is a similar situation to the one given by the OP. If you read the responses given here, you can apply it to your sitatuion as well. However it's always adviseable to consult a local scholar for final clarification before proceeding in any direction.

          -Amy
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. i was converted muslim 2 yrs ago by marrying also a converted to muslim man..i do not kmow anything abt islam ways and i just marry him because of love...and now were planning to go back to christian.. what will happen to our islam marriage?is it still legal?thank you..

    • anna, if you leave Islam, your marriage to your Muslim husband will be immediately void. It will no longer be valid and you will no longer be husband and wife. Before you make such a drastic decision, why don't you study about Islam? You might find it to be a beautiful and true religion.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  9. elo fellow people.. i would like to ask something..
    (Question deleted by Editor)

  10. i am a muslim and my husband is christian, and i have a new born baby and we want to process his birth certificate but the hospital they required us to convert my husband in muslim, so please help us what to do and how about our baby, my husband dicide to convert muslim already. please tell us where we will go.

    • rhea,

      I don't if you married your husband without knowledge that you as a Muslim were not allowed to marry a non Muslim, or you knew about it.

      It was wrong on your part to do so. The sexual relations you had were also haraam. Now that you know, repent to Allah and let your husband accept Islam, after he is convinced that it is the only correct religion. You can approach a Masjid and talk to the Shaikh, ask your husband to inform them that he wants to become a Muslim. They will do the rest.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  11. ...

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