Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I sincerely want to convert to Islam from Christianity to marry again

Muslim woman, female Muslim convert, Converting to Islam

asalamuallaykum,

dearest adviser, i was searching a lot on the net for a week already, and i am so thankful i found this site which can possibly help me answer my queries and i am hopeful about getting a sincere advice from you.

first, i would like to apologize if i had to limit my questions bout marriage and or conversion from christianity to islam.

i will let you hear my story...

i am a single mom, a christian. since our culture nor government don not hinder us from engaging mutual relationship without marriage, i fall in love with the father of my child.

but our relationship did not worked out, i was a battered girl friend ,and he was having relationship with other woman, that made me decide to leave him.

i got pregnant but never thought of committing abortion, i had a lot of sacrifices made to keep my baby with me. till i gave birth on her. twas the happiest day of my life. i never regret having her without a father, for in my mind id rather keep her alone than to be with a man who cant stand on us. i just feel lucky i did not gt married with him. for you know there is no divorce in Philippines.

and so for me to be able to support the needs of my daughter and 6 more siblings i decided to work here in KSA. it was the hardest decision i ever made, for i have to be away from my loved ones.. but i have to.. i needed to. so when i was working already here in saudi i found it very hard, very lonely,. having a job i was not expecting, and a salary not even enough to support my family in phils.

i was blessed my dentist (im a dental assistant) a muslim from egypt been so very kind to me and generous. everytime she felt im having a difficult time, problems she was the very first one who extends help whenever i need, not even any of my co-filipino did that. everyday she is sharing me stories bout the teachings of your prophet mohammad and ur religion itself. i was confused then about my belief, and ive known islam so much and learned to appreciate everything on ur religion. i even asked her to give me ur holy book "quran" in english version.

to make my story short,.. i met someone here whom i fall in love with, i know its haram in your religion and country to see a man not your husband. but we made every impossible to be possible..we both had a mutual feelings..we fell in love and made promises with each other.. but in the latter part of our relationship i found out and he admits that he is married already in philippines and he has to sons..

my world fall apart when i found this out. i felt to much pain :'( ,.. he asked me to forgive him and give hin another chance..he explained to me that his marriage was just in the influence of his parents and not due to his own will, that he dont really love her wife, he tried for they were married and he learned to love him . but the moment we met he said he never felt the kind of love he had with me,..

he said he is willing to prove his love to me..weather to annul his marriage in phils and be with me and start a new family again.. to be honest this is a very hard decision for me to make,..but ilove him so much :'( we are both feeling this....

my question is,... is it possible for us to get married here in ksa despite of his marriage in phils? i should be clear to you, i am not using islam for us to get married..it is more like we like to embrace islam to start a new life here in KSA.. to know islam better. for ive known many things about great difference of christian to islam. we love to embrace islam. and live thru HIS guidance (ALLAH) and be married.

is it possible? and legal?

i need your responce (daruri) :'(

asap

thankyou so much ...

- shabs


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2 Responses »

  1. Wa'alaykumsalam kabayan,

    We are happy to learn about your interest in this beautiful religion Islam. We pray that you find peace and success in Islam. Allah guides whomsoever He wills and you are such a blessed person who received Allah's guidance and to insha'Allah come to the straight path Islam. Victory comes only from Allah.

    Okay so basically, you are on the verge to revert to Islam. That means you wholeheartedly accepted the fact that there is no gods except Allah and Muhammad (PBUH) is his final messenger. I would advice you to hasten your revertion and do not delay. For now keep your relationship aside and focus on learning Islam and doing whatever it takes to complete your revertion to Islam. Simply by saying the shahada in arabic and knowing its meaning ( " I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the slave and messenger of Allah " ) is enough for you to be a muslimah but making it official in Islamic centres or masjid is equally important. Know that, death may come to us any second, so do not delay in becoming a muslim. And it is better for your hereafter as you will insha'Allah be rewarded with paradise.
    I congratulate and welcome you in advance to this beautiful religion.

    Once you revert to Islam, do know that all your past sins will be forgiven and being a muslim will be your rebirth. Your marital status will be single, if you aren't. Then you must live a life according to the divine law " Quran " submitting your will to Allah alone.
    Secondly, after reverting to Islam, you are forbidden to have any sort of pre-marital relationships. Boyfriend-girlfriends are forbidden in Islam. Your only option is to marry. But you cannot marry your ' boyfrined ' if he is still Christian. He have to revert to Islam too but not for the sake of marriage. He has to do it sincerely, that is believing in Allah and his final messenger Muhammad ( PBUH ). One he reverted, he can then marry you and both of you can Insha'Allah live a happy life as muslims.

    Know that, your boyfriend's marital status doesn't change once he reverts to Islam unlike yours. ( The reason is that in Islam, technically, a muslim man is allowed to marry muslim, christian or jewish women. But muslim women are only allowed to marry only muslim men and no one else. ) He will still be a married man and he doesn't need to divorce his first wife inorder to marry you, he can just do it right away as it is allowed in Islam to have upto 4 wives, but there are rules. To divorce, the reason has to be valid too.

    But I have a different opinion, My advice would be for you to forget this man. He, in my opinion is not a great candidate. Firstly because, him being a christian is unfaithful to his wife and kids. He cheated on his wife. And he is willing to divorce his wife and abandon his two kids which is an evil act. He talks bad about his wife in front of you etc, this sort of attitude is dangerous as he might do the same behind you. And if he revert to Islam, he has to take care of his kids too as it is his rights as a muslim to be. He really is not a great person as he could of lied to you. But Allah knows best.

    So I would advice you to have patience, do not haste to get married. Pray regularly, become a practicing muslimah and then perform the isthikhara prayer regarding your choice of potential partner as Allah would help guide you.
    Make your choice, and it is legal and possible to get married in Saudi.

    All the best.

  2. Sister Shabs, Assalamualaikum,

    First of all, I'd like to ask: Do you believe that there is only One God Who Is Worthy of Worship? Do you believe that Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon him is His Final Messenger? If you do, then you are already a believer and ready to be one of us.

    And I believe when you say that you are sincere in your intention to convert. I have seen a lot of Philippinos in Saudi Arabia accept Islam, May Allah Reward them. They knew the truth and wished to take it to their homes. You can do that, too.

    Concerning your marriage, your marriage will be very much valid if you get married to him while he has a wife in Philippines. This is because Islam allows a man to marry more than one women.

    But this should not affect the rights of his first wife. He should treat her on equal terms as you. All he says about a forced marriage only seems a lie to me, and Allah Knows Best.

    If he is ready to treat you both equally, you can both get married. Additionally, it will be better if he informs his first wife and his family that he is going to marry you, in order to avoid the feeling of rejection lateron.

    I welcome you to Islam and pray that Allah Will give you strength to face the World. I pray that Allah Has Mercy on you.

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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