Desperate to Marry My Sister’s Daughter
Asalam-alai-kum,
Plz my muslim brothers and sisters, I want to marry my Sister daughter. I know that its wrong and some of our muslim members says I cannot marry my sister daughter. I always feel that since when she had born on this earth alhumdulillah "she is my wife". So she too feels me ''I am her husband."
By Allah Grace our two names are made with each other. Her name is SANA and my name is AZMATH, it means that " SANAZMATH " MASHA ALLAHA its very good. If anyone breaks this name means letter "A" in between " SANAZMATH " there is no meaning of our name and our life. We always feel that letter "A" is "ALLAHA" so that ALLAHA made us for each other.
So we never like to break our relation as I am her husband and she is my wifeby by ALLAHA KA FAZALO KARAM SAE. PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ.............. my muslim brother and sisters, give me a positive response, INSHA ALLAHA so that we will marry and by ALLAHA GRACE we want our two souls to be as a one soul like "SANAZMATH" and this single soul want to be in the pair of Mohammed S.W.S. ameen. This is our true feeling by the ALLAHA GRACE.
If in case of there is no solution according to our Islam there is only one solution from our side, that is only our death by suicide. So PLZ HELP us by committing suicide. So with your positive response hoping the best positive response by ALLAHA GRACE, help us our life my Muslims brother and sisters.
- SAzmath
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Salaams,
Brother, it seems to me that you are not functioning from a rational place, and you are seeing things and making decisions based on a distorted view of reality. If you feel you are not able or willing to pull yourself out of this mindset you have on your own, then I advise you strongly to please seek professional help to assist you.
It is haraam for a man to marry his niece. That is the truth, but instead you are making your feelings which are based on falsehood higher than the truth of Allah. The truth is the truth regardless of how we feel. If we make our feelings the thing which guides us instead of the truth, then we can expect nothing but disasterous results.
As hard as it may be, you have to begin to bring your feelings into submission under the truth. When you start to think that you are "made for each other", tell yourself it's a lie, because it can't stand to be true while the ultimate truth is that the relationship is haraam under Allah. Stop thinking about your name and her name, because all of that really means absolutely nothing.
Brother, I'm fairly sure no one who responds to your post is going to support your views on marrying her or give you the "positive response" you are seeking as an approval to be with her. The Islamic solution to this situation is to find another halal woman to marry, not your niece. The very fact that you are seeing suicide as the only other option, and not only that but asking for our help to end your lives, shows that you have been deeply decieved by Shaytan's manipulations of your feelings and views of reality. There are as many other options available to you as there are marriageable women in the world. Seek refuge in Allah from the Accursed Shaytan and submit your will to His, and begin looking for an appropriate wife. Also, avoid any and all contact with your niece as this is probably only exacerbating the confusion you are experiencing.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree with Amy. In addition to this, I would like to add why you are permanently forbidden to marry your sister's daughter:
Allaah(swt) says: "And do not marry those [women] whom your fathers married, except what has already occurred. Indeed, it was an immorality and hateful [to Allaah] and was evil as a way. Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, YOUR SISTER'S DAUGHTER'S, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives’ mothers, and your step daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives unto whom you have gone in. But if you have not gone in unto them, there is no sin upon you. And [also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your [own] loins, and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allaah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. And [also prohibited to you are all] married women except those your right hands possess [i.e., slaves or war-captives who had polytheistic husbands]. [This is] the decree of Allaah upon you. And lawful to you are [all others] beyond these, [provided] that you seek them [in marriage] with [gifts from] your property, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse..." [Quran 4:22-24]
Your relationship is gravely and grossly wrong and dysfunctional and I urge you to remind yourself of death. You will both suffer greatly in this life and the next if you continue to pursue this relationship. I urge you both to seek professional counselling because your question and your nature of asking it lead me to believe that your minds and hearts are both spiritually diseased.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Six Quranic Verses of Healing: Ayat Ash-Shifa
1. 'And [God] shall heal the breast of the believers.' (at-Tawba, 9:14)
2. 'Mankind there has come to you a guidance from your Lord and a healing for (the diseases) in your hearts, and for those who believe a guidance and a mercy.' (Yunus, 10:57)
3. 'There emerges from their bellies a drink, varying in colors, in which there is healing for people. Indeed in that is a sign for a people who give thought.' (an-Nahl, 16:69)
4. 'And We sent down in the Quran such things that have healing and mercy for the believers.' (an-Najm, 17:82)
5. 'And when I am ill, it is [God] who cures me.' (ash-Shu`ara, 26:80) (A supplication of Prophet Abraham [as])
6. 'And declare (O Muhammad) that [the Quran] is a guidance and healing for the believers.' (al-Fussilat, 41:44)
Assalamualaykum Brother,
Your post is so disturbing. Forgive me for my words, but you sound so Bollywood. If you have a habit of listening to songs and watch romantic movies, please stop doing so. Try to be real, and I don't know your age group. If you are a teenager I then these thoughts may arise. But you have to understand that you are His servant and following His commands should be ahead of any Houb(love) of this world. Do astaghfar on a regular basis and recite durood.
May Allah guide us.
Brother Azmath, this business of your name and her name and putting them together is meaningless. It has no basis in reality. It is a self-deception, a lie you are telling yourself.
How can this union be blessed by Allah when it is forbidden by Allah? In fact this union would be cursed, immoral, and rejected.
If you really love your niece then how you can speak of her committing suicide? Wouldn't you want her to live and have a full life? What you feel for this girl is unhealthy and wrong.
You must separate yourself from your niece completely. Stop talking to her, stop communicating with her. In time these unhealthy feelings will fade, and both of you will find halal spouses, Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
so ppl like this do really exist .... Well after suicide u both wil stil be separated in different sections of hell wer u will burn for dozens of years eating thorns and drinking burning hot water .... Do u really want the women u love to go thru that? Well then my bro u don't love her ....love is when u Wana keep someone safe and happy let her go and tell her bat the bliss of jannah and tell her she shudnt be sad for u guys can be together in jannah inshlh ....
"she shudnt be sad for u guys can be together in jannah inshlh ...."
What does this mean, does you mean to say they will have some sort of a sexual relationship once they get to jannah, if this is what you mean, then it is pure Bâtil [falsehood] and speaking about the religion of Allâh without knowledge, for the woman that is Harâm in this world, is harâm in the hereafter
Sister, if a person is not sure about a matter from any of the affairs of the religion, they should never say anything regarding it, for the greatest sin posiible, is shirk, and speaking about Allâh without certainty.
In fact sister, this saying reminds me of a question a twisted lesbian lady once asked , which was "since Allâh said the believers will have anything their souls desire in paradise, will a lesbian woman be able to enjoy the Hûr al 'Ayn as well"??!!!%$#@#()
'iyâthanbillâh, haram relationships donot occur in the pure paradise of Allâh [swt].
And incest [sexual relations with a female relative] and homosexuality are just as dispicable as one another in the sight of Allâh.
Brother and Allah said u will have all that ur soul desires do u get that All that u desire even wine which is haraam on earth will be halaal in jannah by the way lesbianism is a choice not natural we will have all we desire be it hoor be it slave boys in jannAh .... ALL..... Mind u in jannah the circumstances will be different it will be a different world on it's own like u get the jinn world and the insaan world now inshlh the jannah world ..... Thr will be no jealousy no envy and Allah is able to do all things .... Even put jealousy and love anger hatred ect in one heart so imagine all d Ada stuff he can do 🙂 and Allah knows best....
Asalaam alaikum Sister haniyyyya,
Your wine analogy is incorrect, because the wine of Heaven is not meant to be intoxicating to lowering inhibitions or sinful wine as we have on Earth. The wine of jannah is neither as the Christians or Jews claimed it to be as. This is a significant flaw of your understanding one of the root beliefs of what jannah is: achieving a vicinity to Allah (swt) where by His presence and your full acknowledgement of Him, makes you unable of committing a sin. This was something that the Prophets of Allah (swt) achieved by knowing Him and His revelation while here on Earth. Essentially what your soul desires is what Allah (swt) desires for you, not the inclinations of your lower nafs.
Allah (swt) does not put anger, hate or jealousy that is sinful in your heart, either. That is what man does to himself and claims to ascribe it to Allah (swt) out of ignorance and belying his own guilt. It is only when a person sins that Allah (swt) can decide to close their heart due to that person's amount of sins and inability to see the Truth of Allah (swt). Again, this is another point that has seemed to escape you, as well.
All good is from Allah (swt) and any shortcomings are from ourselves.
Where do you get your philosophical views from?
The messenger of Allâh [saww] said in the hadîth of Jibrîl when asked about îmân that the last pillar
is to believe in al-Qadar, Khayrihâ wa sharrihâ the decree of Allâh the good of it and the evil of it, it is clear from here that both good and evil is from Allâh.
Not to mention that the prophet[saww] said "when calamity/evil befalls you, donot say "if i had done such and such, the result would be like this and that, but rather say "it is the decree of Allâh, and he does what he wishes"
So who told you that only good is from Allâh?
Abu Az-Zubayr, you are confused about the concept of Qadar or Divine Predestination. When we say, "I believe in Qadar, the good and the bad of it", we are referring to "bad" things that happen to us from beyond our control. For example a natural disaster, a drought, a sickness or injury, a death in the family, etc.
We are not referring to the sins we commit or the evil we do, which comes from our own will and is our responsibility.
Allah is a good and merciful God. He does not commit sins, perpetrate evil, or make mistakes. Nor does He cause us to commit sins or make mistakes. Rather, He has commanded us NOT to sin and not to do evil.
It's very common for Muslim scholars to end speeches by saying, "Whatever good I have said is from Allah, and whatever mistakes I have made are from myself," or some variation of that. It has nothing to do with acceptance of denial of Qadar.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salaam o alikum,
"Whatever good, (O man!) happens to you, is from Allaah; but whatever evil happens to you, is from your (own) soul..."
Surah An-Nisaa 4:79
"O you who believe! If you fear Allaah, He will grant you a Criterion (to judgebetween right and wrong), remove from you(all) evil (that might afflict) you, and forgive you: for Allaah is the Lord of grace unbounded."
Surah Al-Anfal 8:29
"Verily, for the righteous, are Gardens of Delight, in the Presence of their Lord."
Surah Al-Qalam 68:34
Again sister, i can't make out a single line you've written but i'll say it one more time, speaking about Allâh without knowledge is the greatest sin possible, so i would pose right there if i were you.
I'm not going to keep arguing with you as the matter is crystal clear.
WAel I can't help but notice that u have delted alot of my comments may I know why ? Immediately after I corrected u abt the cousins issue that Allah never said it wud cause defects so wu r to say it Will ,,,,, brother don't let ur pride hold u from learning things u never knew nothing wrong with learning from each other no need for ego or pride ....
I don't mind being corrected, as long as it is done with politeness and based on correct Islamic knowledge, neither one of which was present in your post.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
O reAlly which Islamic knowledge says defects will be caused if u marry ur cousin? Which ayaat says if a man takes four women each wife shud accept wen Allah has given us the option of Khula wu r u to push it on us?
Islam tells us to observe the natural world around us, to learn, to study. It's scientifically proven that excessive first cousin marriage leads to an increased chance of birth defects.
There are many things in life that are bad for our health, but are not mentioned in the Quran. Eating too much sugar every day will cause diabetes and tooth decay; eating processed foods causes obesity and high cholesterol levels; lead-based paint can cause mental retardation in children; radiation is poisonous and will kill us. We must use scientific knowledge and common sense.
Anyway all this is besides the point. You're not required to agree with me. I put you on moderated status mostly because of your attitude.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Continue) first step is to talk to ur niece and let her know Islam is more important otherwise u both wud have to face hell secondly tell her she will heal if she gets married to someone else and u smone else aswell then make dua to Allah to protect u from shaytaan .....as stated in the quraan something to this effect shaytaan arises feelings in us then we think it's what we feel but actually it's shaytaan wu makes us feel that way in order to deceive us and throw us off the straight path....
Azmath, I'm sorry but no one can give you a positive response. No one can go against what Allah has said, "And do not marry those [women] whom your fathers married, except what has already occurred. Indeed, it was an immorality and hateful [to Allaah] and was evil as a way. Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, YOUR SISTER'S DAUGHTER'S"... as SisterZ has shared.
You cannot be an exception to Allah. Allah has said, blatantly, what we can and cannot do, so how can we go against what the Allah, the All-Knowing, has said? Surely Allah is Oft-Forgiving and All-Merciful, but the only way he can forgive you for this is if you leave your niece alone and stay away from her and not commit haraam with her.
This is not only your sin it is her sin too! Do not be the reason your niece sins. She is not your wife she is your NIECE. You are supposed to protect your niece. You are surely accompanying her to the depths of hell. Do not secure your place in hell, and strive to reach Jannah. Surely you can abide with Allah forever if you just do one little thing... leave your niece. You will not regret leaving her later... But you will regret staying with her if you go to hell.
Please, do not regret it when it's too late.
Allah knows Best.
Salaam
Brother you know both marriage to your niece and suicide are forbidden as clear as anything, then why would you even consider questioning or discussing either any further?
Life is too precious and too short to dwell on matters that are so crystal clear in all forms of communication so is it not better for the both of you to move on to something which may be permissible and in which you both can work towards success in deen and duniya and prepare for akhira.
Besides brother, is not your sister's daughter like a daughter to you as well?
I logged onto this website because I thought my life was plaqued with injustices and had a run of ill events but I believe it was a mercy of Allah swt that I landed here because after reading everyones postings about everything (so not just yours), I have come to be grateful for and appreciative of my life whatever, however it may be.
I was sad that at 33 I could not find a suitable husband to love and spend my life with but after reading your posting I am grateful to be rather single than be in your situation. I know my last comment may come as selfish but honestly it is only after reading some of the postings (which, some courageous and honest people have shared) on this website, have I come to realize what "gratitude for what one has" means.
I had once read somewhere (and my father had told me the same on many occassions) that always look at people who have less than you (rather than compare with those Allah swt has given / blessed with more) and then you may realise how much more you have.
For the first time in my life I have come to appreciate my "singledom" over falling for the wrong person. Allah swt has indeed been most merciful to me, and I pray with all my heart that may Allah swt show His mercy to both you and your niece and guide you both away from committing to a bad decision, insha Allah.
Jazakallah.
Wael, you did not dig a bit of what i was saying.
The writter i was responding to made a heratical Qadarî statement, that Allâh does not put in our hearts jealosy and anger create our bad actions etc
When Allâh clearly said "And he created you and what you do"
Allâh himself has made it clear that he created the sins of his servants as well as their goodness.
Eventhough Allâh created the sins of his servants, he [swt] is free from their sins and is not responsible for them, don't ask how this can be, because philosophy = herasy = Kufr al-Akbar
That's why the 'Ulamâ have declares the Qadariyyah/Muqadirah [deniers or questioners of the Qadar] to be Kuffâr.
îmâm An-Nawwawî dedicates the longest chapeter and makes this clear in his Riyâdh-Us-Sâlihîn, in which he levels the two math-habs of the Qadariyyah and the Jabariyyah.
@ AZZ:
The sins of the person depend on two criteria: pre-destination and free will. You fail to understand these concepts and rely on the former only. So please try to understand what I was saying completely: that the sinful emotions are not put there by Allah (swt) for us to indulge in as an excuse to say, "Oh God has made me this way and so I can be a sinner," in light of what the original poster was implying of his haram feelings towards his niece and what the above sister posted about being able to commit sinful desires in Heaven. While Allah (swt) has created the temptation of the sin, i.e. the inner desires of the human being, He is not creating you to sin.
You shouldn't write down blameworthy heratical statements and then try to explain time after.
Because this is a metter which distinguishes between the Kâfir Zindîq and the Muslim.
Like the prophet[saww] made clear before, the Qadar can be used as an excuse for the Masâ'ib which are out of the person's hand, and not for the Ma'âib which a person can earnt with his own hands.So this formulae is clear for most people.
but the question to people like yourself is, does Allâh create the sins of his slaves and then decree for them to come into reality through his mashî'ah?
As salam o alikum,
"To each is a goal to which Allaah turns him; then strive together (as in a race) toward all that is good..."
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:148
Lets remember to be kind to one another. We are all here on this website to help our brothers and sisters in need. In doing so we might disagree within our advices as well as life experiences and what we each can contribute. However lets not forget why we are here and we should all stay humble, helpfull sincerily and be respectfull to one another. There are quite a few people here that i have high respect for their knowledge as well as in dept insight on various subjects. Brother Proffessor X is one of them MashaAllaah. His attitude (in addition to knowledge and tremendous help to others here) is commandable.
Many others should put their egos aside and focus on a bigger picture (helping others in the light of Islam inshaAllaah) and doing so with kindness and compation.
May Allaah (swt) gives us blessings and helps us become better Muslims inshaAllaah.
Allaah knows best!
Khuda Hafiz
Sister Hafsah
"You have indeed in the Messenger of Allaah a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for anyone whose hope is in Allaah and the Final Day, and who engages much in the Praise of Allaah."
Surah Al-Ahzab 33:21
Asalaam alaikum Hafsah,
Thank you for the reminder and compliment. May Allah (swt) bless you and your family for such kind consideration.
Islamicly you are not allowed to marry your own niece FACT. Brother i advised you to get professional medical help and please please please please please please NO NOT TAKE YOUR OWN LIVES SUICIDE IS HARAAM and this wont make the situation or your families. All i can say to you is let this go and move forward in your life may allah help you out.
I hope you have not influenced or interfered with your niece in anyway, you are her muhrram the few men who she can feel safe with and free to be without hijab, how can you break that bound and make it soooooooo disgusting move away as far as you can from them and get help this is not normal, insha'Allah i prey you come to your senses,
103. And if they had believed, and guarded themselves from evil and kept
their duty to Allah, far better would have
been the reward from their Lord, if they but
knew! ..... , surah baqarah 2:286 Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of]
what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord,
do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden
like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have
no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so
give us victory over the disbelieving people." taqdeer when we good and bad is from Allah we mean the good... Kids wives family food wealth health beauty. Ect.... When we say bad we mean calamities trial difficulties hardship ect .... Sin is from ourselves ALlah created us with free will either we choose to follow good or bad...
Alhamdulillah, I was just reading those verses yesterday.
Assalamu alaikum Brother Sazmath,
Short words of advice to you inshallah - Please do not associate your names as a symbol of something significant or a sort of divine fate remember Allah knows best and is the only knower of all things and knowledge. Rely on Allah's rules and guidance for help rather than the meaning behind such names as Allah swt knows best and we seek no answers in names or the sort for a flawed sort of answer or selected fate, same as palm readers and magic. Allah keep us all away from these forms of disobedience to the creator Ameen ya rab.
Please be strong and obey Allah's rules - remember Allah knows not that we know and we should trust him if we truly believe inshallah. May Allah guide and help you through this time. Ameen ya rab.
May Allah forgive me if I have said anything wrong and may be make me aware of this in order for me to correct my post.
Seek Allah - he is always there no matter what the situation is.
Your sister
Salam
Salaams,
"....go and try to find a hooker or zawaj mutaa at least still haram but its passable just think u are shia for a while and move town."
Brother, this is just very poor advice. Telling someone to partake of one sin to avoid another is not the solution. Evidently you don't believe that Allah would take such an action just as seriously under punishment, when you say this idea is "passable". Such intentions or actions are never passable in Allah's eyes. It's dangerous to "pretend shia" and delude oneself into thinking it's ok to act in such a way.
In the future, please give a little more thought to your responses and make sure that they are promoting someone to do what's obedient and lawful.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I feel like slapping Azmath ..Heights of such abnormality.