Hardships of Nice Muslim finding a nice Muslimah
I am a 23 year old practicing Muslim. I have kept myself chaste and pure for Allah and for whoever my future wife will be. I have also always told whoever I met that I am looking for a chaste, pious Muslimah which is like myself a virgin, prays, and is an active Muslim (as it states implicitly from Surah Al-Noor Ayats 4 and 26... somebody similar to me).
I know that if the girl were not chaste, I would not be able to live with such knowledge and would not be able to trust a person who in the past had problems staying pure (what makes it so they couldn't do this in marriage if then)? In the end this would turn to a relationship that I would be unhappy with, depression would arise (and has) and hence treat that person unfairly or look at them differently and I fear Allah too much to be unjust to that person. What happened is between them and Allah and I basically do not wish to have anything to do with them.
There are plenty of Muslims who have too waited and followed Allah's path and I would rather find one of them.
I have been very hurt in the past before with Muslim girls wearing hijab and not wearing hijab lying about the past in order to try to get me to marry them. I am very cautious but I still want to go about meeting other Muslimahs but unfortunately wherever I go it seems that there is nobody around my age that is either practicing or wants marriage (I finished my masters at a very early age).
In abroad Muslim countries I don't even know who or where I can go to ask about meeting any Muslimahs. At home I get pressured into marrying a girl from our culture (as is our European tradition) but I myself always wished to marry a good Muslimah first and then somebody hopefully from the Middle East and outside of our culture (I really love the Arab culture). I met many good brothers like myself who have kept their chastity, live abroad, and earn a good living only to find out that they too are having a hard time finding a good Muslimah. I'm sure good Muslimahs are also having a hard time finding somebody.
How can a Muslim such as myself go about and begin finding out where he can meet good Muslimahs (both at home and when they travel)? Should we go to those online websites? What if you don't have too many friends/family nearby that know of anybody or can recommend anybody to you? What can you give me in regards to advice on showing other Muslims abroad that I too am a Muslim (I am very white since I come from Europe and many people take me to be a westerner)? Why does it seem that when I go abroad there are such hard cultural limitations on marrying a Muslimah (especially Arab Muslimahs) with Muslims from other countries?
I understand Sabr (being patient) and I trust Allah will always provide the best for me but I also believe that I have to also actively meet Muslims and perhaps Allah has somebody that some brother or sister may know...but it seems very hard to even befriend brothers with the cultural barriers that everybody is placing. Especially with brothers who are shy and actively busy and traveling in life.
May Allah always guide us and help us find the right partner in life. May he ease all of our pains, forgive all of our sins, and guide us to the straight and true path in Islam. Amin.
- The Global Muslim
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