Disturbed and unable to accept this marriage
Firstly I am a very quiet person, don't talk much, don't socialize, I cannot express my feelings or emotions except with one person whom I love and wanted to marry.
I wanted to marry him. We both are from different countries but we both are sunni. I told my parents that I wanted to marry this guy, we both have an amazing understanding, we are together for 5 years. There is nothing wrong between us. His parents are ready to accept me. I spoke to them many times but the fact was that they live in Pakistan.
In august 2013 I got engaged under parents' pressure since they were not ready to accept him nor speak to him.. They took me to India and under my relative's grandfather, saying that he is nice etc etc. they were not ready to accept this proposal in the 1st place but when we went India my parents changed and they said he is nice, you should marry him. We cannot let you marry a person of different country, we will never support you. All those big negative comments and under all those pressure and for my parents sake I got engaged and married to this guy in this dec 2015.
But I am in constant touch with the person I wanted to marry. I betrayed him myself and now I cannot go along with my husband. I just don't love him, I cannot stand him.. I thought for the sake of my parents I can be with him thinking as my duty. While signing the nikah papers I was thinking about the person I wanted to marry.
My boyfriend opposed so much that you cannot live with him, because he knows me very well how I am emotionally but still he supported me saying ok you did this for your parents now your married you should give him a chance stay with him. Still if you cannot live then I will marry you with all respect and honour.
I cannot bear separating from him I just cannot leave him. He knew my parents will take me to my hometown and get me engaged and this is what happened.
Now I cannot live with my husband currently. I'm studying and staying in my parents' house. I will shift in June and he will take a flat but now I don't want him to spend on housing because if I'm not happy with him why should he spend on me? How can I live with my husband, I don't want to anger ALLAH and be a sinner.
I'm praying day and night to ALLAH so that I can get back to the one I wanted to marry..
I am thinking of speaking to my husband directly that I cannot stay with him, I told my mom recently and now even she is regretting of what they did but it's too late my life is spoiled.
I'm so depressed and unhappy, my husband is not happy with me. The person I love is also disturbed, he cannot marry anyone we both are emotionally attached. I don't know what to do??
zowa
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Your in a very difficult position and your parents used you emotionally. I do however feel sorry for the one person who didn't deserve any of this and that's your HUSBAND.
You and your parents did wrong to this man either MAKE the marriage work and count your blessings or stand up for yourself to your parents how you want your life to be. You could have prevented all of this before involving another innocent person.
OP: We both are from different countries but we both are sunni. I told my parents that I wanted to marry this guy, we both have an amazing understanding, we are together for 5 years. There is nothing wrong between us. His parents are ready to accept me.
Are you into an INTERNET relationship? Have you met this guy in person?
Hi zowa, I'm kinda in the same predicament as you but even more difficult, and honestly I wish I was in your place because in your situation you have the chance to get your happy ending. The advise I have for you is do what ever makes you happy because in the end of the day your going to be living with that choice, and not your parents. Don't marry somebody who you don't see a future with. I know loving a person is haram in Islam but sometime things happen and you can't help it, and as long as it's an emotional relationship instead of a sexual one, then there's always a way out. Just make the choice that makes u happy and eventually your parents will see that your happy and will accept it. Also don't take long to make your choice because after the wedding that's when it will become a difficult situation, so make your decision as soon as possible.
Good luck