Try to please him more, and make him feel that he is the only man you want to be with
When he comes home, make dinner watch a movie and give him his space.......
i'm sure he will realize after a while that you truly love him and he will regert treating you bad inside he doesnt have to tell u but u will know from his eyes and his actions. dont ever allow him to get too angery to disrespect u...... when u know he's about to get angery and yell, just walk away to your room and talk to him when he's calm

hope everything works out for u ........ divorce is not fun and doesnt mean if u marry someone else he will be any better man are man their all not perfect.

If I ask you now; who is the most important people in your life? I believe your answer now will be your children. So you love you children and they mean everything to you. Without your husband, you wont get them. Yea, it is true if you marry another guy you may get children as well, but you wont get the same children that you having right now. The question is will you substitute your children for another? I believe your answer is no because your children is all that matter. No person can substitute another person.

Not all marriage can last forever. Thats destiny. But even if marriage did not work out, that doesnt mean everything is just failed. If you going to say that you marry a wrong man, that means you having a wrong children. So dont and please take that away from your mind. I dont know what is the current situation and I wont assume, but all I want to tell you that you're not marrying a wrong man because that man have given you something that you cant get from any other man: that is your children.

Please dont get misunderstood, I do not agree for things he have done such as being abusive; that is wrong. And I never agree on that kind of act. What Im trying to say do not have any regret on whatever happens. You see nothing can happen without will of Allah. He make you marry your husband so that you can have your children now. So that is not you mistake. Even if the marriage didnt last (God Forbid) that was because the man was sent to you to give you the most amazing gift that is your children. So do not feel any regrets. Regret means not able to accept the fate, and that act could lead to sins.

Seek guidance from Allah, and Du'a is very important. Again I hope that everything goes on smoothly there and I pray for the best for you and your family.

First of all, I actually come across this post while doing research on inter-religious marriage. As I can see the date of this post was happen last year. So for now I hope and pray that you have manage to get it sorted out. Thats the best that I can do. At the same time I felt sorry and sad to hear about the problems that you were facing. At the same time I would like to congratulate you for being strong in faith and look for the solution through Islamic approach. And it is not too late to welcome you as our new sisters. Alhamdulillah.

Human relation can be very complicated, that is why Islam has drawn the line for mankind on how man and woman should act in terms of socialization. Because Allah The All Knowing, knows His creature very well. That is why the rules was made for us to prevent any complication.

Before I go on further, I would like you to know that I'm not trying to judge on the whole situation. For now I have read your problems and I believe you. So based on what you have said as a Muslim Man, I felt very sad to hear about how your husband being unreasonable with you. Plus, Allah dislikes divorce. And by knowing your husband is a Muslim, he should be the last person to behave in such manner. As a husband, he 's head of family he's main duties to protect his family and leading them to the right teaching of Islam. He knew that you're and need more guidance in terms of religious knowledge. That will be one of his main duties besides that protect and shelter the family.

I have met and handle few couples who having this kind of situation. Before you do anything you must realize, taking action by following your emotion and anger is not a best option. The best way, to remained calm at all time. Plus, I believe you know that Allah not only loves but also close to those who is patience. Second, Du'a. I hate to say this, but we sometimes underestimate the act of Du'a. As we know that Du'a is a secret weapon for every believers. Du'a does not restrict only after Solat. We can say our prayer at anytime anywhere. Allah is all knowing. He is there anytime we need Him. So keep the act of Du'a in anything everything and anytime anywhere. Even a tiny doubt or problems you have say your prayer. You dont have to say it outloud, inside will do. So keep remind your self the first one you should turn to is Allah regardless in happiness or sadness.

The word of divorce must be used carefully for the husband and wife especially the Husband cos talak is in the hand of the husband. By mocking and asking you to ask for a divorce is a total nonsense and I believe is from the act of arrogance driven by a big ego when he in the first place has no intention to divorcing you. Its logical, if he really want to divorce he doesnt have to ask you to ask him since he can just say it himself. But he didnt, his action was only to scare you off. It is true the power of divorce is in the hand of the husband but not all the time. Allah is fair, the rules is also fair. There are circumstances where the wife can revoke that clause. So this matter is not for playing. It should be handle more carefully. If the situation where both of you can be calm and speak wisely with open heart and mind, then that will be better. It is possible if you and your husband is aware that Allah is the judge on all matters. He is all seeing. So if you and your husband didnt forget that Allah is always see and hears everything, I believe both of you may sit down and speak and discuss wisely Insya Allah. But let say if its not possible, let say its get out of control then please seek help from the people of Shariah. They will arrange meeting for both of you and listen to every single details and refer to the Sunnah and Quran for the best solution.

And another thing, the unreasonable of your husband is NOT a license for you to go on strike. Same goes for the husband. Just because of one person not carrying their responsibilities it doesnt mean we dont have to carry our own duties. We must carry on our own responsibilities.There is a way to handle the situation which is hard for me to explain it all here. You may drop me an email if you wish to speak about it. and that will be easier for me to explain.

There are more for me to say, but I think thats all for now. If you have any concern you may let me know or any of your trustees. And as I said earlier, I hope that you already manage to get this problem sorted out. I pray and hope for the best for both you and your husband and as well your children.

Salam,

A. Iskandr

im in the same sort of situation
email me

You need to find the courage to carry it out InshaAllah.

So ask Allah for courage and approach the right people, let them help you set up the right support system for you so you are physically and mentally protected from this abusive man as much as possible. Then take those vital and necessary steps to improve the life and mental well being of yourself and your children. Allah has already given you that right.

I am referring to 'separation'.

Only when you are away from this man long enough can you start to think clearly about your betterment. If you are so keen on staying with this abusive man, see if he changes while you have separated from him. I am sure he won't, or he will just pretend to have changed. If you decide to go back, what will be going back to? More abuse?

Come on sisters - please. The idea that women are weak defenseless submissive beings is from culture. Women are allowed to speak up, we are allowed to make choices and we are loved by Allah as much as men are.

Please try to stand up for yourself. The help is out there if only you just allow others to help you.
Allah will never change the condition of a people unless they change what is within themselves.

May Allah help you and make this easy for you,
SisterZ

Dear sister Aleeyna,

It is april 6th today so I hope its not too late before you read this seeing that you made the post in march. Sister, I know that the reply was telling you that you are in an abusive Marriage however you are still in a marriage with a muslim man and there is always ways to work on your marriage Inshallah. Allah swt does not like divorce so resort to other options and leave the rest to Allah swt. You have 2 beautiful children with this man so its worth working on it to see what the outcome is. There are ways in which you can make your husband love you and not look outside his home at other womans. For eg. Beautiful yourself in adornment and serve him his favourite food and making his home a beautiful place to be. This will make him eager to come home everyday just to be in his relaxation environment. Please dont give up, i know the other responses may be negative towards your husband but after all Allah swt holds the key to the heart and can turn remove all obstacles.

Marriage in islam is half your deen so think carefully before you throw it away - you could be throwing away something that was keeping you from doing alot of haram!

God bless you sister and always remember to seek Allah swt's help and work on your marriage.

My children were 15 & 18 when I finally left him. While those were very difficult years, I feel now that my sacrifice was worth it, in that my children are actually very decent young adults. I will add, out of fear that my children would pick up his abusive behaviorisms, I did teach them & reinforce that his behavior was not acceptable & that he had internal issues to overcome & that by being his family we had to tolerate this & learn from it.

You may also contact your local women's shelter to find a counselor or group to attend for additional support. I still attend private group sessions & there are Muslim women in my group very sad & regrettful to not be living with their children anymore. I wish you well.