Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dua against bad dua; love and family

Assalam-o-aleikum,

I have a question about a good friend of mine. She is muslim and she wanted to marry a guy, he has become muslim. Unfortunately they cannot arrange the marriage because the family of the girl is against their marriage. They say that he cannot be a muslim like them and he has become muslim only for her. The boy's family also disagreed.

They (the boy and the girl) accepted it and they both had a very difficult time, but they were still friends afther that. They accepted their parents' dicision. No one accepted their relationship, nore as friends, nore as a couple. They were only friends after the problems with the family.

The girl's parents said that they will give a bad dua if they won't stop seeying each other. After a while the bad dua started to work. The guy who has become muslim had started an affair with some other non muslim/ kaafir girl and he has got some very bad influence of her, that's why it seems that the boy leaved Islam behind. He said to my friend (the girl) that he doesn't want her as her friend or partner, becouse of her parents opinion. He said that he has buried her in her heart and that he has given Islam the same place.

My friend (the girl) is almost depressive. She thinks that the bad dua has worked out on their relationship and friendship. The guy has become a non- muslim/ kaafir again and he has a non- muslim girlfriend.

My friend (the girl) knows that in Islam is a relationship as girlfriend/ boyfriend forbidden/ Haram and she won't do such a thing. She thinks that the bad dua of her parents has worked out and she thinks that she is now suffering because she was doing wrong things (things against Islam). I agree with that.

But I think that Allah has brought the two of them together. Nobody knows wether they are meant for each other or not. But I can see so much love in their eyes for each other, over and over again. Everyone was so jealous about their friendship. I think their is also an evil eye on them/ nazar.

I am questioning because I really care about my friend, she is so depressed and do a lot of dua's but I can see that it's not good for her health, she worries a lot. It is almost a year later, but she still thinks a lot about it. I am very worried and I want to see them together again InshAllah.

I have a few questions:
- does real love exist in Islam?
- is it forbidden to love someone in Islam?
- do you know a dua against Bad dua/ cursing prayer?
- how can the guy be muslim again?
- what is the best thing to do/ what can my friend do now?

Thank you very very much for the answers.

I don't know if they are ever coming together but I still hope you can answer my questions. Still we all believe that the thing is going to happen that Allah wants to be..

PLEASE help us out, any kind of answers will be appreciated.

Wasalaam


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9 Responses »

  1. Real love exists in Islam, Islam allows the man and woman to chose his/her partner. Islam teaches us about the integrity of a family structure, there are books explaining the qualities of the perfect Islamic society. Without love, its going to be hard to imagine the concept of a perfect society. Now love does not mean that one transgresses and cross the limits. Men and women are also advised to refrain from intermingling. It is haram for a man to talk to stranger women without any legal reason. Same is true vice versa. Islam teaches us to lower our gaze when we are in public since Satan is always with us and may misguide us.

    do not worry about a bad dua... when someone makes a bad dua for someone, it flies up to the sky, and doors of heavens close, the bad dua returns to earth and the doors of earth close, it moves left and right but couldnt find any way out, it returns to the person whom the bad dua is made for, if its a valid bad dua...then it curses that person..if not then it returns to the originator of the bad dua and curses him/her.
    So worry not... just pray a lot from Almighty Allah and He is forgiving and merciful.

    Islam is not about hide and seek and jokes, it is about accepting the fact that There is no God but Allah and prophet Muhammed Peace be upon him is the messenger of Allah... You can accept Islam and stick to it.. Not throw it away like a lolly pop when you are fed up. Accepting it again ideally mean you have to accept it by heart otherwise the person is only going to make a fool of himself.

    you friend should start praying and asking Allah for help. Allah knows everything and He listens to us all. He will help us all in hard times and we should thank Him in good times. Always seek forgiveness and refuge from the wickedness of Satan. Allah is all knowing and forgiving, let us pray and give Him a chance to forgive us all and answer our prayers. He does not keep debts:)

  2. I am interested to know the source of Your posted answer. Is it from the Qur'an? Please give Surah and Ayat

    "do not worry about a bad dua... when someone makes a bad dua for someone, it flies up to the sky, and doors of heavens close, the bad dua returns to earth and the doors of earth close, it moves left and right but couldnt find any way out, it returns to the person whom the bad dua is made for, if its a valid bad dua...then it curses that person..if not then it returns to the originator of the bad dua and curses him/her".

    • I assume that Shabbir was referring to this hadith of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh):

      "When a person curses somebody or something, the curse goes up to heaven and the gates of heaven get closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates get closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed; if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise it returns to the person who uttered it.''

      [Hadith reported by Abu Dawud].

      There are also numerous hadith to the effect that if someone calls a Muslim a kafir, and he is not, then it returns on the one who said it. For example, Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) said, “If a man addresses his brother as, ‘O’ Disbeliever,’ it returns to one of them; either it is as he said or it returns to him.” (Agreed upon – in both Bukhari 10/427 and Muslim 60)

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Subhanallah. Alhamdullilah
    Its sounds fair too if the person doesnt deserve the bad dua then it shouldnt go to him or her

  4. JazakAllah hu Kharain, beautiful answer!

  5. asalaam a relation ship is haraam outside of marriage. Love is not haraam as long as its within islamic way and limits. Allah swt is The most Gracious the Most Merciful. In my opinion your mothers bad dua did not get granted a mother has a lot of love n may not mean it from her heart. Im sure before her bad dua there were many good duas such as. Hoping to bring u to the right path. You having a very good loyal muslim husband that would be good for u n ur family in this life and hereafter. And vise versa. Maybe that is the dua that has been granted and you may not know but what you feel is good for you may in reality be a lot of harm. So put your trust in Allah swt. This is all a blessing in disguise it is veryyyy hard to get through but even know the pain n loneliness is from Allah. He is giving you the chance to repent. He has mercy on you. He wants you to bring you closer to him. So instead of wasting this chance. Make the most out of it. Turn turn to Allah swt an pray.
    Its all a blessing in.disguise.
    Asalaam alaikum.

  6. I was married to my cousin then I got divorced and there were a lot of arguments between families I feel we also acted in a way we shouldn't have done then my marriage was arranged to My other cousin which is also a cousin of my ex husband which I feel now shouldn't have happened my ex husbands family gave a lot of bad dua to my father saying that all his daughters would Never be Happy and would get divorced. My second marriage also ended in divorce then I got married again for the third time which also ended in divorce my sister got married she ended up divorced now my other sister who got married is also having a lot of problems and looks like its very close to divorce. Please please please help my parents are suffering we are all so worried about what is happening my father is very stubborn and won't agree this is a bad dua

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