Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dua for my sister to get married.

As Salamo Alaikum

muslim woman saying dua in masjid 300x196 %photo

I have a question about the marriage of my older sister. She is in her late twenties. She wishes very much to get married as do our entire family. However, our family is poor. Therefore, there are not that many rishthas that come for her. There are a few that came and they did not accept my sister because of our living situation and because my sister is a little overweight. Because of this my sister is very moody and creates many fights. She also says bad things about Islam out of frustration but she also prays sometimes and is a good hearted person.

Her emotional health is not good and it affects out entire family and I find my self very stressed out because of this and I am unable to do well in school. On top of this, my father is very lazy and seems to not care at all about his daughter and the fact that she is not getting married. He only wants her to find a job. He sleeps all day and says inappropiate things about other women and he really irritates me and all of his children. He is very dirty and does not help in keeping the house clean.

I don't mind him not working because he is old now but he never attempted to better himself when he had the chance. My mother is the complete opposite of my father and is a good person and is stressed about my sister. My main stress is however my sister and her not getting married. Please tell me a dua that help in getting her rishtha in a good family and I pray that it is done soon and can you please pray too for her.

-saraalfred


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11 Responses »

  1. AS Sara, honestly I always stress to young Muslims and especially young Muslim women that they have to be PROACTIVE about finding a spouse. This notion that a woman must have barriers and unnecessary hijab where its fine to mingle in the workplace but not with potential spouses in a halal environment is ridiculous. Add to that that as Parents most Muslims also don't allow for a setting where singles can approach each other and this is a self-defeating disaster.

    Don't sit at home or expect a spouse online. This is delusional. The Prophet PBUH had a relationship (occupation, friend's daughter) with each of his wives...this is what a community is...social connections. Tell your sister to go out with her friends, ask Muslim male co-workers, cousins etc (or have her wali to) ask about any potential single Muslim men. And again here I stress MUSLIM men. Too often in desi and Arab cultures finding a Muslim spouse often means finding someone who is a 100% match to their parents expectations. Don't embody this self-defeating mentality.

    There's no need to get frustrated when we set the stage against ourselves.

    I feel for your feeling about your dad. But think for a second whether you would want someone like that to even look for a spouse for you. I don't think he who does not embody the qualities of a good man would likely look for one.

    • assalamu alaikum

      it is wrong to assume that his sister did not searched for a spouse proactively. People ask for help when they have tried everything and failed. I know so because I am suffering the same misfortune. I have searched myself, my parents looked for a groom, even my house maids, neighbour, friends all have searched around for a spouse for me. I have been rejected all the time.

      I know it will be now normal for you to assume there might be a fault in me, as you cant see me or you were not here when I was rejected. But trust me Allah has made me flawless. It is heart-breaking for me to see all my dreams fall apart like this, but I tell myself it is Allah's wish and I am not the only one to remain unmarried.

      I know you are only trying to help but I just want to say in the world the number of women is much much lesser than the men. It is natural to have women being unmarried. I mean in my country and also all over the world if you notice all accidents or mishappenings involve young men dieing, resulting in the number of men declining even further. So, its just general math that many women will be unmarried, because there are not as many men as the women.

  2. Assalaam Walekum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu sister Sara,

    Your concern for your elder sister and family is enviable.Much of this is an outcome of the situation you are born in.All praises be to Allah alone ,who has gifted you with such a kind heart.SubhaanAllah.Also every single Dua you yourself must be doing ,is heard by Allah subhaanwataala.AS HE IS AWARE OF WHAT LIES IN HEARTS, WHAT COMES FROM TONGUE AND WHAT NOT.

    May Allah Subhaanwataala bless you with knowledge of deen and solve all your worries.Aameen.Please be rest assured that Inshaallah ul Aziz your sister will soon get married.Remember one thing, nothing comes before time.

    As you mentioned that you are from a poor family, I would like to tell you somethings, benefits to poors from Almighty:
    1.They will be entering paradise before rich people.
    2.Every single pain and suffering you will have to bear will be paid off, if you remain patient.
    3.There is no curtain between Dua of a helpless and Allah Subhaanwataala.
    4.Family bonding and love is more stronger in poor families.

    But that does not mean you should not try to acquire a better living standards.Allah Rabbil Izzat has said YOU ASK AND I WILL GIVE YOU.I know how its like being born in such family, where you have to become mature at early age and start taking care of others.I am sure by Allah's Grace you must be good at studies.So keep yourself occupied with that.In some countries rise in social status is possible through excellence in education.May Allah grant you that if its good for you and your family.Aameen.

    In my childhood I used to wonder as to what wrong did my family do to be among poor? And till 21 years of age I strived hard to make it change by studying well and getting good job.Finally I got what I wanted .But then earlier problems went off and new came in.I felt its not all about money.Money is not solution to problems of mankind.There is something else, and that something else was belief in Allah the Almighty. And my dear sister, that belief in Allah is already present in you( Allah knows better).Work hard and have faith in Allah Paak.

    I need not mention that many people who must have gone through your post ,must have already started praying for your problems to solve.May Allah accept our prayers.Aameen.

    Allah Hafiz wa Nasir

  3. Assalamu'alaikum Sara:

    Yeah! I can easily relate to what you and your family are going through, because we seem to be in the same boat!!

    I need not proffer you any fresh advice for your problem, since the above posts have elaborately explained how to deal with this tough situation that you and your family are going through.

    Just remember, that Allah (swt) is testing you, He is testing your faith, He is keeping a watchful eye over you and your family. And most importantly He wants you to overcome this 'u-g-l-y' situation with prayer and constant "dhikr".

  4. Assalamo alaykom warahmatullah wabarakatuho.

    The Prophet (saws) said :

    “The supplication that gets the quickest answer is the one made by one Muslim for another in his absence.”

    …… Reported by Abu Daw’ud and Tirmidhi

    Here is the proven dua

  5. Here is the proven dua you can recite for your sister.First, you need to write in the notebook in arabic the ayah 27 in Surah Al-Hajj,Holy Qur'an.Thetn, write the dua I wrote down even in english alphabets which started in :

    Allahummma! ab'ath ba'hlana saa'lihan li khutbati (name of your sister and name of her mother example; "mariam binti Khadija" Mariam daughter of Khadija), bihaqqi kala'mikal qadeem wa rasoolikal kareem(Sallallahu alayhi wasallam)wa bi Alfin Laa hawlaa walaa quwwata illah billahil ‘aliyyil azeem."

    I have tried it for one sister. More or less after one year she got married. Never tell your sister or brother that you make dua for her. Keep it silent or where she/he is far or not present if you want it to be accepted.

    But before you say the dua u need to make tasbiyh,zikir, salawat, sistigfar, the more times thebetter, example: Subhanallah walhamdulillah wala'ilaha illallah wallahu akbar wala'hawla' wala ' quwwata illa billah. La'ilaha illa anta subhanaka inniy kunto minazza'limeyn. Allaummah salli ala' Muhammadin wa, ala' ali Muhammadin kamaa sallayta ala Ibrahim wa alaa aali Ibrahiym Innaka Hameedon Majeed. Wabaarik ala muhammadin wa ala' ali Muhammad kamaa baarakat alaa Ibrahiym wa alaa a-li Ibrahiym Innaka Hameeddun Majeed. Rabbanaag firlanaa wali ikhwaninallajiyna sabaqownaa bil eyman walaa taj'al fi qulowbinaa ghillal lillajiyna aamanoo Rabbanaa innaka Raufur Raheem.

    Then recite or read the ayah in SurahAl-Hajj ayah 27 many times at least 3 times and the dua, but the more times u recite the better. Recite: Audhoobillahi Minas Shaytaanir Rajeem. Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem.Then: Ayah 27 in Surah Alhajj. which starts in" Wa adhdhina finnaasi bilhaj till the end of the ayah.

    Then, here is the dua: Allahummma! ab'ath ba'hlana sa'lihan li khutbati(name of your sister and name of her mother example; "mariam binti Khadija" Mariam daughter of Khadija), bihaqqi kala'mikal qadeem wa rasoolikal kareem(Sallallahu alayhi wasallam)wa bi Alfin Laa hawlaa walaa quwwata illah billahil aliyyil azeem."

    Then, You may add dua if you like:" rabbanaa! Aatinaa fiddunya zawjan sa'lihan!!! Rabbanaa Aatinaa fiddunya hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa adhaaban Naar. Thenmake salawat to our Holy Prophet Muhammad(S.A.W.), then, Say: walhamdulillahi Rabbil Al'ameen.

    The Meaning of the dua: Allahumma! ab'at bahlan sa'lihan li khutbati( Ya Allah!I request you to send a righteous man to propose marriage to(I.e. Mariam binti khadija).The said dua can also be applied for your daughters.

    Prophet (saws) said:

    Whenever you make a supplication for another believer and he is not present, an angel will say ‘and same to you.’

    The Prophet (saws) said :

    “The supplication that gets the quickest answer is the one made by one Muslim for another in his absence.”

    …… Reported by Abu Daw’ud and Tirmidhi

    May Allah accept your dua.

    Brother: Edris

  6. Correction: Not Bahlahana say: Allahumma! ab'athbahlan saalihan till the end of the dua.

    Brother Edris:

  7. Even we are also suffering from the same problem we are searching rishtas for the past 5 years but none of one happens pls pls pls remember in ur all supplications
    Assalamu alykum khuda hafiz

  8. assalamu aliakum everyone, i got a same problem, my sister who is a engineering graduate and working for a good organization is not getting married my whole family is worried. 2 years back one of my younger sister commited suicide as she was a electronics graduate, very intelligent but got into depression and made her take her life. this thing happened and our family situation took a u turn everything got changed my father is unhealthy, my mother is suffering from high bp, myself got tyroid problem because of stress. we all moved form our native palce to hyderabad because my mom was not able to answer peoples questions u know allah swt is looking all of this he is testing our patience and i surly beleive that their is something good vey good waiting for all of us i wish allah give us that much patience and will to wait for his gift

  9. please tell me the dua to get married for my sister

  10. Even we are also suffering from the same problem we are searching rishtas for my sisters. Please remember in ur all supplications...

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