Emotional and verbal abuse has left me depressed, exhausted, and thinking of committing suicide.
I was born in the US and married to an Algerian for 8 years.I converted to Islam about 7 years ago, but I have a lot of trouble learning Arabic and memorizing Quran. This has become a hurdle in my marriage because my husband feels that he shouldn't have to remind me to read Quran and fast (which I do with GREAT difficulty because of anaemia.)
We are also having a big problem with my role as wife and mother. He believes I should keep a perfect home, cook the perfect dinner, and that the kids should perfectly behave. When something goes wrong, he blames me. I work outside the home full time and don't get home until around 6 pm. I take the kids to school at 7:30 am. He does not help around the house much, and when he does he says things like "why do I have to be the husband and the wife?"My husband does NOT work. He has some health issues those can be easily treated if, he would go the doctor and follow the proper treatment. We have health insurance through my job and I make enough money to support everyone. He forgets to take his medicine and then blames me for not reminding him.
I feel very tired at the end of the day and I have been trying to keep the perfect house and cook perfect meals. I often go to bed after midnight (after everyone has already gone to bed) just to tidy up, wash dishes, etc. I get only about 6 hours of sleep at night, and when I complain about being tired, my husband says I don't work a physical job so why am I complaining? He often compares me to his friends' wives (all of whom stay home) and then ask me, why I can't be like so-and-so's wife?
I'm getting very frustrated. I know I have to obey my husband, and I'm trying very, very hard to please him, but all I get in return is complaints. He calls me stupid, fat, and lazy; he is very hard on the kids and makes them cry. He calls our 6 year old stupid because she is not good in Maths. He tells me that if I don't improve, he will divorce me and take the kids back to his country.I don't feel this is the right way to treat a wife, and I've tried talking to him, but we only fight. Everything I do is wrong, and every time I try to talk to him, he either ignores me or tells me that I'm not trying to be the wife he deserves. He threatens divorce all the time, and I'm terrified of his temper.
What should I do? Sometimes he is very sweet and understanding, and other times he is emotionally abusive and makes me so depressed that, I think about killing myself.I know he is also very depressed because he can't find a good job. I've tried to help him, but he refuses to do any work except his own business. He refuses to take a low-paid job, and for every idea I give him, he knocks it down immediately.Please help me. I'm scared of being around him for fear of a fight. The kids don't want to be around him and shout hooray when he leaves the house. This is no way to be a family.
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