Comments on: Expecting a child with a non-Muslim woman, should I marry her? http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/ Islamic marriage advice and family advice Sun, 12 Feb 2012 02:54:54 +0000 hourly 1 By: Katie http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43970 Katie Sat, 19 Nov 2011 21:15:54 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43970 Salam, do you refer to laws in Islamic states or English laws... They are different. Salam, do you refer to laws in Islamic states or English laws... They are different.

]]> By: Mohd http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43917 Mohd Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:12:19 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43917 Trueblood, when a married couple got divorced, islamically the father has legal right ''over the child'' more than the mother.. Even if the mother is financially capable of taking care of the child, the father can choose to hold his child if he so wishes and the decision remain final.. But this does'nt mean the mother has no right over her child or the child will be cut away from the mother.. Only that the father has more parental rights as compared to the mother when couples are married.. .. In this case the child would bear the fathers name and the child has full right of inheritance to the father's property.. But the situation changes if the couples are not married, the mother has more right than the father. However the mother has NO RIGHT OVER THE CHILD'S RELIGION IF SHE IS NON MUSLIM. The issue is if she cannot raise the baby a muslim with proper islamic teaching (which is obvious that most non muslim cannot) , take care of him/her and give the child best education,, then it is now mandatory on the father to very well help her in doing that by holding the baby... If the mother can raise the child islamically with islamic teachings (which is obvious that only muslim women and only few non muslim women [if not none] can do this), then the child remains with the mother and the father must be supporting her financially or otherwise so that the child would recieve best care, love and education... ALLAH IS THE ALL-KNOWER AND HE KNOWS BEST Trueblood, when a married couple got divorced, islamically the father has legal right ''over the child'' more than the mother.. Even if the mother is financially capable of taking care of the child, the father can choose to hold his child if he so wishes and the decision remain final.. But this does'nt mean the mother has no right over her child or the child will be cut away from the mother.. Only that the father has more parental rights as compared to the mother when couples are married.. .. In this case the child would bear the fathers name and the child has full right of inheritance to the father's property.. But the situation changes if the couples are not married, the mother has more right than the father. However the mother has NO RIGHT OVER THE CHILD'S RELIGION IF SHE IS NON MUSLIM. The issue is if she cannot raise the baby a muslim with proper islamic teaching (which is obvious that most non muslim cannot) , take care of him/her and give the child best education,, then it is now mandatory on the father to very well help her in doing that by holding the baby... If the mother can raise the child islamically with islamic teachings (which is obvious that only muslim women and only few non muslim women [if not none] can do this), then the child remains with the mother and the father must be supporting her financially or otherwise so that the child would recieve best care, love and education... ALLAH IS THE ALL-KNOWER AND HE KNOWS BEST

]]> By: muslim http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43914 muslim Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:11:19 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43914 Assalamualaikum, @Weltschmerz you are right together with Wael and Fatima. Weltschmerz i wanted to share something . Sometimes i come across real negative people and i don't know how to interact as i don't want to be rude so i simply ignore them. I feel if i talk to them they will hurt me so it's easy not interacting with them. Plus sometimes depending on my family financially as i am studying makes my condition worse. I feel like i would never be able to support myself. I would never be able to be financially stable which puts me in stress. Could you please give some advice? Thanks a lot for your wonderful work together with others on this site. Regards Assalamualaikum,
@Weltschmerz you are right together with Wael and Fatima.
Weltschmerz i wanted to share something . Sometimes i come across real negative people and i don't know how to interact as i don't want to be rude so i simply ignore them. I feel if i talk to them they will hurt me so it's easy not interacting with them. Plus sometimes depending on my family financially as i am studying makes my condition worse. I feel like i would never be able to support myself. I would never be able to be financially stable which puts me in stress. Could you please give some advice?
Thanks a lot for your wonderful work together with others on this site.
Regards

]]> By: Mohd http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43913 Mohd Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:54:36 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43913 Katie, any answer that would come from me should be based on islamic and moral concept since i believe that's what brought you here, to know the islamic view point of your situation... You see, if you glance through my previous post, you would really understand what am talking about because i made my point very clear.. In islam, a child is really born sinless and he remain sinless (in his childhood) until he come of age (ie until he/she attains maturity or knows what he's doing).. As far as islam is concerned, any child borned, is born a muslim (ie someone who submit to Allah) and remains a muslim. It is his parents or guardians who make him into a non muslim by raising him and teaching him/her christianity or hinduism, or budism or athiesm etc... If your baby where to die now, he/she has died a muslim and he/she is going to jannah/paradise hn heaven without any questioning (since he/she is still a child and has no account of reward or sin yet) So if you take the child to church or baptise the child, that does'nt change anything because that child would always remain a muslim until and unless she/he comes of age and continue following your religion.. So dont think that it is too late for your child .. Even you katie, it is never too late for if you are still alive., your parents should not be the one to decide your religion for you or your child. This is a matter btw you and your creator (GOD/ALLAH). Katie, any answer that would come from me should be based on islamic and moral concept since i believe that's what brought you here, to know the islamic view point of your situation... You see, if you glance through my previous post, you would really understand what am talking about because i made my point very clear.. In islam, a child is really born sinless and he remain sinless (in his childhood) until he come of age (ie until he/she attains maturity or knows what he's doing).. As far as islam is concerned, any child borned, is born a muslim (ie someone who submit to Allah) and remains a muslim. It is his parents or guardians who make him into a non muslim by raising him and teaching him/her christianity or hinduism, or budism or athiesm etc... If your baby where to die now, he/she has died a muslim and he/she is going to jannah/paradise hn heaven without any questioning (since he/she is still a child and has no account of reward or sin yet) So if you take the child to church or baptise the child, that does'nt change anything because that child would always remain a muslim until and unless she/he comes of age and continue following your religion.. So dont think that it is too late for your child .. Even you katie, it is never too late for if you are still alive., your parents should not be the one to decide your religion for you or your child. This is a matter btw you and your creator (GOD/ALLAH).

]]> By: Truebloood http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43912 Truebloood Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:46:07 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43912 Mohd when a couple divorce , how much right does the mother has any over her kids if she is not financial stable ? Mohd when a couple divorce , how much right does the mother has any over her kids if she is not financial stable ?

]]> By: Mohd http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43911 Mohd Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:01:38 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43911 And katie,, i think there is a difference in your own case, because your are planing to get married to him anyway and possibly you are thinking of converting (or should i say you are contemplating converting).. But in any way, if you finally wish to convert, i would urge you to convert for the right reason. I mean you should accept islam because you believe it is the true religion of God. Islam is a beautiful religion and is based on worshipping the one true God (ie Allah in arabic language) and submitting to HIS will and plans.. I really appreciate you are familiar with some islamic knowledge and you really want to know more about the religion,, you can also shear what you know with us here and also ask any question about islam. We are more than ready to give you the answers or atleast channel you to where you would be answered in detail. May Allah guide you. Ameen And katie,, i think there is a difference in your own case, because your are planing to get married to him anyway and possibly you are thinking of converting (or should i say you are contemplating converting).. But in any way, if you finally wish to convert, i would urge you to convert for the right reason. I mean you should accept islam because you believe it is the true religion of God. Islam is a beautiful religion and is based on worshipping the one true God (ie Allah in arabic language) and submitting to HIS will and plans.. I really appreciate you are familiar with some islamic knowledge and you really want to know more about the religion,, you can also shear what you know with us here and also ask any question about islam. We are more than ready to give you the answers or atleast channel you to where you would be answered in detail. May Allah guide you. Ameen

]]> By: Katie http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43906 Katie Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:37:37 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43906 Salam Mohd, I love your knowledge and I'm sorry to bower you by asking so many questions. What is your view on couple who isn't married and father is a Muslim and mother Christian. Her responsibilities is to bring her child as Christian and her parents are strongly agree. She took her child gave her baptism and is raising her as Christian and is trying to repent from her sins.. What rights of a mother and father are there than? Please once again could you help? Salam Mohd, I love your knowledge and I'm sorry to bower you by asking so many questions. What is your view on couple who isn't married and father is a Muslim and mother Christian. Her responsibilities is to bring her child as Christian and her parents are strongly agree. She took her child gave her baptism and is raising her as Christian and is trying to repent from her sins.. What rights of a mother and father are there than? Please once again could you help?

]]> By: Mohd http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43905 Mohd Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:15:28 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43905 Thanks katie for asking,, firstly of all, the question you should ask yourself is in what sense does a mother become 3times the father.... If you permit me to narrate the hadith,, ' there was a man that came to the prophet SAW and ask him; who would i love and respect the most after Allah/God and his massanger SAW?? Then the prophet replied 'YOUR MOTHER', then the man asked the who is next? The prophet replied again 'YOUR MOTHER', the man was curious and asked again after Her then who??, the prophet still replied for the third time 'YOUR MOTHER' !!!! When the man asked for the forth time 'who is next?' then the prophet replied your father..... What this hadith is saying is that 75% of love, respect and companionship of a person should go to the mother. Then only 25% goes to the father.. But this doesnt mean the mother is superior to the father, it was only adressing about the love, respect and care and who would recieve it most btw d father and d mother. And the prophet said 3/4 of the love, care and respect should go to d mother, and 1/3 should go to the father. This is because it is the mother that suffered for the child the most. She took the child in her womb (with all the pain and sufferness) for nine months, breast feed him for two yrs, the child was under her costody and training until he reaches mature etc etc (u know the problems caused by a child since you have one).. Above all the child has to respect both parents very well.... Sister, let me tell you one secrete about devout muslims men and women, (and consider this true to your husband if he is real muslim),, for muslims, the love of Allah comes first b4 anything. a real muslim does not just follow his soul desire, he looks at every thing from the religious angle... For a muslim man (or a woman), the child he/she gave birth to must be raised muslim and this is what the schoolers all agree on, because this is the way of Allah and His massanger .. if the non muslim mother is not willing (or is not able) to take this responsibility, then the muslim father will be very well willing and able to help her.. Consider that the child is both thiers and the father would always want the best for his child.. Also consider that some women do give out there children for adoption to even families they hardly know. Now this does'nt mean that the mother hate her child, the mother had her personal reason for giving out her baby for adoption.. If a child is with his/her father, that does'nt mean the child has cut away from the mother, the mother will always be in touch or in contact with the child any time she wants... The issue is if the mother cannot take care of the child, give him/her the best education and most importantly raise the child islamically with the teaching of islam, so that the child would grow up and become someone who really submit to the will and plan of Allah/GOD, Then the father of the child can very well assist her through himself or his biological mother or blood sister .. At least the child would recieve all the care and love he/she would need in these hands...... Thanks katie for asking,, firstly of all, the question you should ask yourself is in what sense does a mother become 3times the father.... If you permit me to narrate the hadith,, ' there was a man that came to the prophet SAW and ask him; who would i love and respect the most after Allah/God and his massanger SAW?? Then the prophet replied 'YOUR MOTHER', then the man asked the who is next? The prophet replied again 'YOUR MOTHER', the man was curious and asked again after Her then who??, the prophet still replied for the third time 'YOUR MOTHER' !!!! When the man asked for the forth time 'who is next?' then the prophet replied your father..... What this hadith is saying is that 75% of love, respect and companionship of a person should go to the mother. Then only 25% goes to the father.. But this doesnt mean the mother is superior to the father, it was only adressing about the love, respect and care and who would recieve it most btw d father and d mother. And the prophet said 3/4 of the love, care and respect should go to d mother, and 1/3 should go to the father. This is because it is the mother that suffered for the child the most. She took the child in her womb (with all the pain and sufferness) for nine months, breast feed him for two yrs, the child was under her costody and training until he reaches mature etc etc (u know the problems caused by a child since you have one).. Above all the child has to respect both parents very well.... Sister, let me tell you one secrete about devout muslims men and women, (and consider this true to your husband if he is real muslim),, for muslims, the love of Allah comes first b4 anything. a real muslim does not just follow his soul desire, he looks at every thing from the religious angle... For a muslim man (or a woman), the child he/she gave birth to must be raised muslim and this is what the schoolers all agree on, because this is the way of Allah and His massanger .. if the non muslim mother is not willing (or is not able) to take this responsibility, then the muslim father will be very well willing and able to help her.. Consider that the child is both thiers and the father would always want the best for his child.. Also consider that some women do give out there children for adoption to even families they hardly know. Now this does'nt mean that the mother hate her child, the mother had her personal reason for giving out her baby for adoption.. If a child is with his/her father, that does'nt mean the child has cut away from the mother, the mother will always be in touch or in contact with the child any time she wants... The issue is if the mother cannot take care of the child, give him/her the best education and most importantly raise the child islamically with the teaching of islam, so that the child would grow up and become someone who really submit to the will and plan of Allah/GOD, Then the father of the child can very well assist her through himself or his biological mother or blood sister .. At least the child would recieve all the care and love he/she would need in these hands......

]]> By: Katie http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43889 Katie Thu, 17 Nov 2011 22:07:01 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43889 Dearest Mohd, I appreciate your views but I am puzzled by one thing. How can any man live with him self to know that they would take a child away from their mother and let them live with him and his mother or sisters. I find that absolutely painful to thing that there are women who live with out their own children because man can just take them away... Doesn't one of the things which Islam teaches that ' mother become 3x before father'. So how is this allowed! Only one know the feeling when you lose a child and no matter what anybody say mothers pain is the greatest off all. Please, brother explain... Dearest Mohd, I appreciate your views but I am puzzled by one thing. How can any man live with him self to know that they would take a child away from their mother and let them live with him and his mother or sisters. I find that absolutely painful to thing that there are women who live with out their own children because man can just take them away... Doesn't one of the things which Islam teaches that ' mother become 3x before father'. So how is this allowed! Only one know the feeling when you lose a child and no matter what anybody say mothers pain is the greatest off all. Please, brother explain...

]]> By: Katie http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/expecting-a-child-should-i-marry-her/comment-page-1/#comment-43869 Katie Thu, 17 Nov 2011 12:12:20 +0000 http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/?p=2705#comment-43869   Fatwa No : 84788 Inheritance of an illegitimate child   Fatwa Date : Rajab 1, 1423 / 7-9-2002 Question Can a bastard child inherit from his father? If no why? Please give me authorities from Qur'an, Sunnah and other relevant Islamic sources. Answer Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. The child of Zina (who was born outside wedlock) is traced back to his mother's lineage and to her family. The rules of Mahram apply to him in relation to his relatives from the mother's side only. His/her legal Wali is from the mother's side and he inherits from that side which is the only one that inherits from him and to which he is legally linked. So, all other rules concerning fatherhood stem directly from the mother's side. Therefore, the child born outside legal wedlock is not traced back to his father, nor does any of them inherit from the other. This is the most preponderant opinion and it is the opinion of the majority of scholars. Some scholars, however, believe that he can be traced to his father if the latter accepts him as his son. This is the opinion of Is'haq Ibn Rahawahi , Urwa , Sulaiman Ibn Yasar and Abu Hanifa . Imam Abu Hanifa says: 'I do not find any harm that a man who makes Zina (adultery and fornication) with a woman and she gets pregnant as a result, that this man protects the honor of this woman by marrying her and the child is his' .   Fatwa No : 84788
Inheritance of an illegitimate child
  Fatwa Date : Rajab 1, 1423 / 7-9-2002
Question
Can a bastard child inherit from his father? If no why? Please give me authorities from Qur'an, Sunnah and other relevant Islamic sources.

Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

The child of Zina (who was born outside wedlock) is traced back to his mother's lineage and to her family. The rules of Mahram apply to him in relation to his relatives from the mother's side only. His/her legal Wali is from the mother's side and he inherits from that side which is the only one that inherits from him and to which he is legally linked. So, all other rules concerning fatherhood stem directly from the mother's side. Therefore, the child born outside legal wedlock is not traced back to his father, nor does any of them inherit from the other. This is the most preponderant opinion and it is the opinion of the majority of scholars.
Some scholars, however, believe that he can be traced to his father if the latter accepts him as his son. This is the opinion of Is'haq Ibn Rahawahi , Urwa , Sulaiman Ibn Yasar and Abu Hanifa . Imam Abu Hanifa says: 'I do not find any harm that a man who makes Zina (adultery and fornication) with a woman and she gets pregnant as a result, that this man protects the honor of this woman by marrying her and the child is his' .

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