My parents forced me to marry my cousin, I don’t like him and want divorce
Assalam O Alaikum,
I was pressured by my parents to marry my cousin. I cried for a month and begged them to not to make me marry him but they didn’t agree and I simply gave in after realising that my parents are not going to change their mind as they were very difficult parents to live with. I have been married for 15 years and not happy at all because I don’t love my husband. He is a good person but sometimes he is very annoying and acts stupid. I can’t stand being around him and hate sleeping with him. I feel like its disgusting and a punishment and sometimes I cry afterwards. I accepted being his wife as my destiny until I got tired of ignoring my feelings, pretending and lying to myself.
It was hard for me to tell that I don’t like my husband but when I told my mother that I don’t like my husband and don’t want to stay with him, she told me not to be stupid because my husband wants to buy a house now and to just delay it. This was 9 years ago and my husband and I sold that house and invested the money in another house, which we fixed up and sold after 3 years. We moved into an apartment and I was thinking about how to divorce him. First I told my parents and my father told me that I can do whatever I want after buying his house.
But, after I bought his house he was totally against it and refused to let me stay with him for more than 3 days. In those 3 days, my husband called me every 10 minutes to nag me to come back. Even when I told my husband how I feel; he refused to divorce me and told me that it’s all in my head. My father also kept on nagging me to go back to my husband and simply wasn’t supportive after I bought his house. He just wanted me to spend all the money from the sale of my house in buying his house so that I couldn’t afford to leave him and rent my own apartment. In other words he keeps me more attached to my husband. I just wanted him to support me because I have two daughters; the youngest is 11 years old.
Every time, I ask my husband for divorce, he refuses and goes crying to my parents who then threaten to disown me. It is very painful for me to keep arguing with them. Is there a way out of this marriage without having to deal with my parents as all my parents did was to make me delay this marriage and then hushed me up? Can an Imam divorce me from him? There is a hadith of a women who came to Holy Prophet(PBUH) that she isn’t attracted to her husband and wanted divorce; even though, he is a pious, caring, respectful and loving person. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) asked the husband (companion of Holy Prophet PBUH) to divorce her.
Aren’t women in Islam supposed to have full consent and rights rather than being pressured and bullied into a marriage? Don’t I have rights like other Muslim women to choose or am I supposed to be forced to stay with someone who I don’t like for my whole life so that, my parents don’t have a heart attack.
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