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Broken marriage.

My ex husband and I lived into 2 different countries due to my studying.We were doing this for 2 years. I would always go there on my uni breaks for three months.
last year my ex husband told me to visit for 3 months then he will come to my country to apply for visa for me. We always didn't have good communication which is what I thought he wanted and we had trouble with our sexual relations even though he want to the doctor. I felt like he was never attracted to me.

On my last visit our relationship seemed to be improving and he was sharing things with me even though he was working 7 days with 3 jobs. I asked him can I leave early because I hardly seemed to see him and he got upset and he said he will take the weekends off. The next day he had talk with his mum and said he can't do that... he tried for me so I told him I will stay. I went out once a week with him and I couldn't leave the house by myself because we lived in a bad neighborhood.

2 weeks later we had a fight during which I told him I didn't want to live in this country... He asked if I wanted divorce and I asked if he did. He didn't speak to me for days and I begged him and asked if he had other problems with me. When he finally spoke to me he told me to stay and not to leave and I told him that I needed to say farewell to my parents and get my things in order. We argued for a few days and his mum got involved. At last when there was a few days left to my departure he came home happy. He started searching jobs from middle east. He also took me out to dinner then said we didn't have big problems and we should communicate with each more often when I get back. He will come to my country and he showed me the sights he wanted to visit.

When I came back to my country everything was fine, he was looking for a job overseas in middle east and I was helping him out. He got a job and I asked what should we do and he told me that he couldn't get the visa and when I go to him we would go together. He then started to have no communicating with me ...afterwards he called me saying that it wasn't working for him and I have never put him first and he was pretending with me on my last visit and no husband would put up with this. I begged him to give us one last chance and that this time I was moving to his country. He apparently didn't believe anything I was saying and hung up on me.

A week later he called me then he divorced me over the phone and he knew my mum was overseas and that I was managing the house. He divorced me without giving us chance to work it out. I wrote him a letter apologizing for everything and saying I was coming to him and that I wanted a future together.

I feel like my life has fallen into pieces and I can't get over the shock. We didn't have a problem that could not be resolved. Throughout the marriage he never told me what he was struggling with and it all came at once when the divorce occurred. It's like divorce is nothing to him and he told me he has no feeling for me and everything we had was pretend. To me divorce is last option when everything else has been tried.

I blame myself for not communicating better with him but I wish he would have told me then so we could have fixed it. I feel guilty the way I acted when it happened - I didn't eat for 3 days straight and I lost so much weight. I want to be patient through this trial and not get punished for my reaction. I don't know how I could move forward and forget about him.

I keep thinking he was such a good person how could he do it.He gave me a sense of false hope.
I am afraid i will never love again or find a guy that is compatible with me.

Our families are trying to get us back together and he is still refusing me. I am going to umrah and ramadan is coming up should I pray Allah to change his mind or should i close that chapter of my life?

sare95