Having mixed Istikhara dreams, should I divorce him?
Mixed istikhara dreams?
Assalamoaleikum
I am Muslim female. For the past 3 years, my life has become hell. 3 years ago I got engaged to one of my distant relatives but due to our misunderstanding, it was called off. I was deeply broken by it but kept my faith in Allah. After that a few proposals came for me. For 2 proposals, I got istikhara done by a very religious and pious brother of mine and he told me not to go ahead. Then Ramadaan came, my mother and me prayed earnestly for one month and one night after tahajjud, i prayed surah taha (i had read its to get proposals) an sincerely prayed to Allah to do what is best for me.
Next day, I got a proposal. I did istikhara for one night but could not see anything (I was doing it for first time). So I prayed to Allah to do what is best for me. By the turn of events, I got married to this person. Now this person is a typical male chauvinist. He does not pray, does not fast, does not let me do hijab. He treats me like a slave, he is hot-tempered. He abuses me and my parents and has even said triple talaq to me once, all of this has happened in 6 months. It has become impossible for me to stay with him. My parents have talked to him but he has his own set of opinions which he is not ready to change. I have started doing istikhara again. But I get mixed dreams. Sometimes i see water, sometimes blood, sometimes nothing. I dont want to commit any gunaah by taking a wrong step. Please tell me what to do.
-Alter
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Salaams,
Istikhara is meant to be used when a situation is so neutral in appearance that we need further guidance to determine what we should do. If we are in a situation where there are obvious wrongs being committed, we don't need to make istikhara to determine our response to it.
Regardless of how the two of you ended up married, what's going on now is wrong. If he is not praying or fasting, he is already dancing dangerously with acts of disbelief. For him to prohibit you, a Muslimah, from wearing hijab (which is obligatory), this is a grave sin indeed. You don't need istikhara to tell you he is in a danger zone, and the fact that he is abusing you is enough for you to take leave of him. This doesn't even address the fact that some scholars will tell you if he uttered a triple talaq, you are already divorced from him.
If I were you, I would go back home to your parents right away. Consult with a local scholar and try to get some clearer guidance if your marriage is even salvageable after his triple talaq. If not, then you are done with him by default. If they say it only counted as one, and you are still in iddat to be taken back by him, tell your husband you will only consider continuing the marriage if he seeks professional help for his temper and problems. If not, seek khula. You don't need istikhara to tell you that you are deserving of much better treatment than he is showing you.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Wa alaikum assalm wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. May Allah ta ala choose what's best for you my dear sister. Ameen.
U should wait for at least 2 years ,wait with patience.divorce n khula is nt a jok for girls,after that take khula if u need it,