He’s given her Talaq so many times… but they’re still together?
I am married for the second time to someone who is also married already. When we had our Nikkah his parents and himself made a promise to my family saying that our son is in the process of divorcing his first wife and we don't want him being with the first woman and we will make sure he leaves her. On this basis I married him and came to his home city in Europe.
When I get here he starts saying he can't leave her right now due to kids etc but he says I don't love her it's just security for me knowing my kids and home is safe.
He has been lying to the first wife saying that I have married you both and I am not leaving either of you so the first wife has told him to stay one night there and one night with me, even though I don't accept this I'm being forced to accept it.
During all this he has given her talaq on three different occasions. Once on the phone where he said it talaq three times, once he sent a text which said talaq talaq talaq this is my Islamic divorce to you which was in writing and another time he text her saying talaq once, however the first wife took him to the local Islamic council and from what they told him they told my husband that their divorce is void.
But I have asked many sheikhs and people and they've all told me that the divorce to his first wife is done and he is doing haram by going to her and also that the council she went to is salafi and follow a certain ruling which my husband doesn't follow.
So I explained this to my husband but he won't accept. He says I don't want headache and he fights with me but he is living a haram life by going to a woman he has divorced. I don't know what to do? How do I explain that he is no longer with the first wife and how do I deal with this situation that is forced on me?
Thank you.
Umefmah
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Assalam alaikum,
Dear Sister,
As I read what you wrote, I wondered less about your husband and more about why you would want to be with someone who is in an illegal relationship (as per you)? If what you say is true regarding him and his first wife/ex-wife, you must really think about this:
1. You were led to believe that the both of them were no longer together, but if there is no divorce, that this was a lie.
2. If they were in fact together and a divorce has occurred between them, but they continue their relationship, then you have to make a decision, not necessarily expect and wait for one from your husband.
Either way, something is not right and I suggest that you speak to your elders in your family, especially your father.
May Allah swt bring you clarity and success in your life decisions, Ameen.