Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Hindu loves a Muslim married man.

does ex want me back 300x231 %photo
I'm a hindu girl and I have had a boyfriend since 2009. He is muslim and he has been married for 5 months because he is not daring, but he loves me much and I can't live without him. What I can do now?

-naziya shaikh


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13 Responses »

  1. Leave! Ignore him...

  2. Naziya Shaykh is not a Hindu name.

  3. It's none of your business what this man's marriage is like - he's not married to you, so it's none of your concern. He's committed to someone else so leave him alone. Fine another man who's not married. Besides, a Muslim man can never marry a Hindu, Islamically speaking. So there's no future for you, anyway.

    Just move on with your life and stop ruining people's marriages. How would you feel if a woman did what you're doing to you?

    • Assalumualaikum Sister,

      You have some harsh words. The married man was cheating on his wife as well so don't put the blame only on this woman. He is ruining his own marriage for even getting into another relationship and luring this woman. Remember, say it with kindness on what is allowed or not.

      • Aslaam

        "you have some harsh words"

        "say it with kindness"

        I've already told Adina this. Her last paragraph is presented in such a rude way " stop ruining peoples marriages" to a girl who is in love with a man and everyone knows when you are in love with someone, sometimes logic leaves your head, yet still adina speaks in a harsh manner. To be honest, I think the only reason why she speaks in such harsh tones with no compassion almost ALL THE TIME is because she is probably a bitter and unhappy woman.

        I'd laugh now if this gets deleted by the editors. I'm gonna help the woman in the post with some KINDNESS.

        • Assalamualaikum brother,

          I won't say that she is an unhappy and a bitter woman. People have their own views and interpretations in everything. The way they were brought up or what they have experienced might affect the way they see things. It doesn't mean it is bad but there are times such as this blog site where you have to be careful what you say because it can hurt people or even stimulate the hurt even more for the people who are already hurt.

          Sister Adina, I don't have anything against you or your views but carefully read what you write or say. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like people to give you harsh advice when you are/have troubles and inshallah Allah(SWT) doesn't bring that upon your life. :D

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    As you may be aware, a Muslim man cannot marry a woman who is not either Muslim, Jewish or Christian. He also shouldn't be dating anyone, especially now he is married - dating is not acceptable in Islam, and neither is infidelity.

    It might help you to learn more about Islam, to understand this better. If you have not already done so, why not try to read the Quran and about The Prophet (peace be upon him)?

    You ask what you should do in a situation where a man is married but continues to tell you to stay with him and that he loves you. As one woman to another, my advice would be that this situation needs to be ended. If a man does not want to commit to you, has a wife to whom he is unfaithful, and tells you he loves and needs you anyway... Well, women deserve more than that. You deserve a man who will have the courage to stand up for his convictions (his religious beliefs, his love for you) rather than avoid these issues, and this man's wife does not deserve to be cheated on. If this man can be unfaithful to both his wife and you, then it would be difficult to build a trusting relationship even if he were to leave her.

    That would be my advice to anyone in your situation, regardless of religious beliefs - don't accept infidelity, don't accept being disrespected and treated as second class.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  5. A muslim man/ women can only marry a muslim man/ women...simply and clearly...
    And when ones married it is a huge sin to date or have such kind of a relationship...now thats hes married its better off you go and leave him...and if you know youll still be depressed and sad ,then convert with a clean pure heart,,and ask allah for someone better,,inshallah he will help...

    And a question to who reads this i cannot submit a question dont kno why,,but i wanted to kno what anyone thinks or has to say about "quran isthiqhara" has anyone tried it?plz reply fast to this commet because its ramazan an i really wanna do this..jazakallah -- a pure islamic sisterx

  6. Hold on.... So he was dating u for the last four years but got married 5 months ago?? The fact he got married to someone else should tell you something. Hes using you! Sorry to sound harsh but lets leave religion out of it for a second, he was able to marry someone else and is keeping you on the side, why are you still sticking around? Plus ur gona end up playing a part in hurting another innocent woman and destroying her life.
    Take the advice from above, firstly leave him! Secondly, maybe look into islam and its teachings, if he comes back for you then, forget about him for the moment and see if you fall in love with islam. Thirdly put urself in that innocent womans shoes, how would you feel??

  7. Aslaam

    Naziya, first of all, you CAN live without him. PLEASE try to understand this, second of all he is MARRIED and dating you? What kind of man does that? And what does that tell you?! Even if he leaves his wife for you, what makes you think that he won't do the same to you? Allah deals with things through karma - what goes around, comes around. Think about it, he's DATING another woman whilst being married to another, that shows a sign of no commitment, is that what you want?

    Naziya, this may be hard at first but I'm saying to PLEASE distance yourself and then leave him. He's not worth your time. I can almost GUARANTEE you that if he leaves that woman and comes for you, your relationship with him will NOT go well because he will either cheat on you like he is cheating on his wife OR he will abuse you either physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually in your relationship.

    Also, since you say "you can't live without him" then what happens if, say he DOES want to be with you, your family are against it and say no? They say "no, we don't want you to marry him"? then what will you do?

    I understand you love him and no one can help who they fall in love with but Naziya, take a long hard think about it, he shows no signs of commitment, has been in a relationship with you since 2009 with is 4 years and yet he gets married to someone else?! He most likely will do the same to you.

    Consider my advice - this is for YOUR benefit because if you two finally get together then I highly doubt it will be good and it will most likely work out badly for YOU.

    May Allah help you inshallah.

  8. Salam sister,
    Just because he tells you he loves you doesnt mean that he innocent to the crime of infidelity. Remember that it is impossible to "force" a man into marraige. As you said, he is not daring or brave enough to tell the world he love you and only you. So please forget such a loser. He is not a good MAN but a BOY. And you dont need to make that mistake any longer. Just simply tell him GOODBYE and dont look back.

  9. Bismillah,

    I don't see any way for you both to be together in marriage.

    It is well allowed for a moslem man to marry a non-moslem women - as long as the woman is jews or christian.

    The only way to marry is you have to become a moslem.

    But, it is not a guarantee after you become a moslem you can for sure marriage him (be his second wife), because you can marriage him only after you get the permition of the first wife to married her husband.

    In fact, we all know it is not easy to married in poligamy.

    There are many questions need to be answered.

    can you share your husband?
    if you can, can the first wife share hers?
    can you see another woman give attention and physical touch (intim) in your husband?
    if you can, can the first wife do?
    Can he - fair in his poligami marriage. Fair to you, to his first wife, to your children, to the first wife children?
    can you handle jealousy?
    if you can, can the first wife handle jealousy?
    can you work together (be a team) with the first wife to perform a happy marriage?
    if you can, can the first wife do it?

    Btw, let's we think for a while.

    What is one of the main purpose of life?
    why do we want to marriage somebody who we love?
    why do we need to find a good job?
    why do we need to earn good money?

    Is all the answer are to give us happiness?

    if yes, will you be happy to marry him in that condition (sharing marriage)?
    not for one day, not for two days, but forever, and so does your children have to share their dad the whole of their live.

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