UNANSWERED: His parents are rejecting me because I am a revert
As-salaam alakum. I am a recent revert to Islam and am 29 years old. I knew a Muslim male back in school and we were good friends. He recently expressed interest in marrying me and I think we would be a good match. When he approached his mother about it she was adamant that she wanted someone who is Pakistani (my family is Jewish), a born Muslim, and a virgin.
(I am divorced but no children) I am very hurt by her rejection of me and we are both trying to decide what the proper step would be next.
I am out of country at medical school for the next 12 months so we feel we should be patient and see if given time his parents will accept the idea of a Revert as their daughter-in-law. We both want to do the right thing Islamically and honor his parents but if they refuse to allow the marriage what should we do? Is it permissable to be married against the parents permission? I would understand if they forbid the marriage due to factors such as me not being a Muslim or if I had no deen but I am being judged by my ethnicity and the fact I am a revert and not a born Muslim.
What should we do? We have both prayed Istikhaarah and have resigned ourselves to being patient. But should we agree to a timeline…say two years of waiting…..before we need to re-evalute the situation and think of marrying without permission? Wasalaam
Written by SarahB on March 8th, 2007 with
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