Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I convince my parents to let me marry this good Muslim man?

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).

Alsalam alaykom,

I'm 19 years old college girl. I have met this guy on a social website. I wasn't planning to make a relationship with him or something, he was just asking me about Islam and to explain some verses for him. He is a good muslim religious person. After a while, he asked me to marry him because he wants to have islamic family not affected by the American culture, he said I'll come to ur parents and propose according to the islamic civility and I'll do whatever they want just to show them that I'm a good person who deserves their daughter and I totally agreed.

Then, I decided to tell my parents about him and they totally freaked out and they refused the whole idea just because he's "American" not Arab and I'm Jordanian. They said he is so different from us and he was born in an immoral culture. They rejected him even before they met him. In fact, he's more religious than me and my parents. I know that the way we met is totally wrong but he proposed immedietly in halal way.

Now I told them that in Islam there are no differences between people as long as they are muslims and fearing God. They said even that he's muslim, he has different background and you will get better chances and they also keep saying "what people would say". I told him that and he said how can they judge me without even meeting me? and I'll do whatever it takes to make u happy even if i have to learn Arabic.

I really don't know what to do. I can't do anything without my parents approval and at the same time I don't want to lose him because I know that he's the right person for me. I tried so hard to forget about him and move on but I can't help myself. Just thinking about the idea that they refused him makes me go crazy because they judged him unfairly. I keep praying all the time for God to give me help and guidance.

Please I need your advice or anyone who has an experience please help...

~Tammy Tam


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33 Responses »

  1. wa alaikum assalam wa wb sister,

    after reading your post, I feel like we are kind of in the same boat- wanting to marry someone from a different culture. I think you just need time and slowly persuade your parents. It really annoys me how parents always think of "what other people say" before their own daughters' happiness and the fact that they judge other people without really get to know them. Me being a convert, not only that, I'm from Hong Kong, and I want to marry an Egyptian guy. Bering in mind all the negative responses I've read on here about marrying persons from different cultures make me scared. literally scared. But actually it's me who wants to marry the guy, but I'm afraid how to ask or stuff, but that's a whole new problem.......What I think you should do is just explain to them since I don't think any parents would want their children to be unhappy for the rest of their lives.

    I wish you all the best,

    Sophia

    • wr wb*

    • Salaam to sister Tammy and Sophia..

      I read your post, and I wanted to give my opinion, because I faced a very similar situation two years ago.
      Well sadly to say, to this day, my parents still have not give permission, and this issue just fade with time. I'm not in contact with the guy at all now, but the pain is still there, probably permanently. The thing is, we'r still perceived as a child in their eyes, we can't ever change that. I've been trying to make my parents understand, but I had not succeeded. Then I prayed istikharah and I feel like it's not the right time, so I just keep myself quiet. Truth is that I know our parents love us, and care for us, even though the are wrong in certain ways.. Like in my case, different culture/race, but of course Muslim. I don't know how to make my parents see it the way I see it, except to make doa to Allah.. if He can help me, help us, then isA our parents will see the light too..
      Well I did ask my mum to talk to him, and that's what you need to do. Plead your mum to talk to him, at least once. Then I think we just need to leave the rest to Allah.. Have you ever had something happened that is totally unplanned? Like a coincidence? I think marriage is like that.. It's written who you're going to marry, and no matter what or WHO is going stop that.., I think right now, we just need to be good, as good as we can.. and keep on praying. I'm not saying giving up.. I'm not giving up, and neither should Both of you.. but remember, if you keep on contact this guy (keep on sinning because you are in a haraam relationship), Allah WILL NOT help you marry him..
      anything you can ask me..
      What race am I and what race is him is not important.. the important point is that he is pious...
      may Allah make it ease for us!!

      • Thank you for ur advice, I think I'm gonna face the same destiney as you 🙁 however, I will keep praying for God.

        • look no one can seperate until allah dont want u to be seperated ask him when he is there to give u pray in tahadud and prey salat ul hajat i gurantiee you will get him because i dont want you to be seperated . allah is real very ghani and rewarding never remove your trust from him

          • Yousuf, don't say "I guarantee you will get him", because you cannot guarantee anything. Allah will give us whatever He decides is best for us. It's not always what we desire, or what we pray for.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Waalaikumsalam dear sister Tammy,

    I was in the same situation you are in now. I was madly in love with a guy I knew through online. We also planned to get married. We both live so far from each other. I was always trying to convince my parents about him but they completely disagreed to let me marry him due to distance and cultural difference. However, indeed we are not meant to be, it didn't work the way we were planning, something happened and we decided to break up.

    One thing I want you to know is our parents just love us so much, too much dear. They've been raising you till you now become a grown up girl who starts getting to know what love is. It is very understandable to see how your parents react about you who wants to marry someone whom they haven't even known at all. Specially, he is someone living in different country. They just wanna be sure the best for you. They want to see their daughter to be with the one who can keep her happy always but they don't know about him. So, just patiently, slowly, gently tell them about this.

    One more thing dear, you should also perform Istikharah before making any decision, ask him as well to perform it. Marriage is not only about love between two persons but these two people will live under the same roof which needs understanding, respect, care and many other things. Seriously ask for Allah's guidance in this matter. Leave this to Allah, if indeed he is someone whom Allah has chosen to be your spouse then In Shaa Allah, He will make things easy for you. Just believe in Him fully dear.

    I also feel necessary to tell you for not being in contact with him as you both are not yet halal for each other. Something good doesn't come trough something which displeases Allah. What I mean here is you both have a good intention to marry so you should also maintain this relationship before that time comes. I know this won't be easy but if you both dream about a joyful and blessed marriage then that is what you both should do to preserve your hearts before Allah makes it halal.

    May Allah light your way and give you the best. Allah knows everything and we know nothing.

    • Thank you! I totally agree with you but what bothers me is that my parents don't wana give him a chance to al least seeing him they just judge him according to his culture so in this case i will leave it for God because he knows the best for both of us.

      • This is exactly what is happening with me although my dad has spoken to him before and says he is a nice guy they are still rejecting the man I want to marry as their are other problems around him but I found out they have been sorted and have been persuading my parents to ring him they said they will but seems like they don't want to but nothing is stopping them like they have all the free time in the world so they're not busy to say they can't ring because they're busy. Also I don't understand why parents say all they want is for you to be happy and when you finally find someone that you know will keep you and make u happy and love you they just don't want it to happen so it must mean its really about their happiness than our own right.

  3. Assalaamu alaikum Tammy tam,

    I was reading your post and it spooked me a bit! Reason being is I've been in a similar situation twice - and learnt a lot so, although this may not answer your question I would like to give you some food for thought - if that's OK.

    The first time I was in such a situation - I asked a question on a website which was spookily similar to the one you have written here! So it caught my attention. Five years back I met a Muslim guy called Isa* (not real name) on a social networking site. We met up and became close friends and soon became inseperable. We fell in love. He was always respectful of my strict limits and basically was a wonderful guy. I knew he was the one for me. He did pressure me a bit to tell my parents about him as he was so keen to marry me - and as they were suspicious, I did.

    They did not take it too well - they said similar things he is from a difficult culture. Their concern was that he came from a strict cultural family who would have high expectations of me. But still I knew he was right one in my heart. Isa told me he respects my parents wishes but wants to fight for me - so he made an effort and kept asking me to speak to them again and again. He told me he wants a good Muslim wife and to settle and have a family. So I wrote on a site asking for help as to how to persuade my parents. In the end I did persuade them. They reluctantly agreed - but my mother said some words to me I won't forget.

    She told me she loves me and will never abandon me but she wants me to do the right thing. She doesn't want me to continue the haraam. But at the same time she doesn't want me to marry the wrong guy. She warned me I would lose my freedom if I did. He then proposed, and things were great between us but a bit awkward between me and my parents.

    But still he continued pestering me about marriage. And although I loved him more than ever and knew I could never love another like him her words still ate at me. No matter how hard I pushed it down it would come back and threaten to shatter this beautiful picture me and Isa had painted. It was like I started to see the cracks in the picture. I realised I felt sinful, I completely relied on him - I noticed I was no longer seeing my friends - I was impatient, over-emotional, and a bit crazed and paranoid. I was at his beck & call - he completely controlled me - except for with physical intimacy for Allah protected me from that. Alhumdulilah. The more Isa tried to get me to do this haraam the more aggressive & manipulative he became. He swore at me, pushed me called me everyname under the sun. Can you imagine how torn one would feel. I really did love him and I was going to marry him anyway, right? But I still could not.

    I started thinking more about Allah swt and sin and death and imposed more and more limits - I didnt want to be alone with him anymore (partly for my safety - he switched between loving & angry so quick - but mainly because I realised linking is haram!) Anyways long story short - I realised all along my mother was right. He had so soo much cultural baggage - her concerns were right - and had I have married him I would have ended up stuck at home all day at the very least - or an abused wife at the most.

    ****************

    So yes it's true that some Muslim parents are biased against those of different cultures and that some do wrongly reject proposals but honestly there are some good reasons there. One is that you met him online. Sweetheart you must be very careful doing this - when you meet someone this way you lose the opportunity to see them interact. They are on show when they are online. Marriage is a big thing and it has to be taken seriously. Don't make the mistake I did. Isa was similar to the guy you knew - but he changed or most likely he put on a show the whole time. Maybe not deliberately. It's human nature to do that.

    So please take those rose-coloured petal glasses off and really consider whether or not this guy is good marriage material. You say you know he is the right one for you. How do you know? Can you see the future? I said exactly the same thing - and am I with him? No. Am I married to him? No. Am I devestatingly sad without him? I was for a couple of months but now Alhumdulilah I am fine. On hinsight was he the one for me? Definitly not. I am building a future without him. And I am far from the perfect Muslim but I am glad I can pray without the burden of zina. Because zina is lots of things - loving talk is zina and it's a sin, as is hugging, holding hands, and the lot..

    So you can't know if he's right. Only God, (Allah - the Most High) knows this. So accept this into your heart. Theres a dua you can do - called Istikhaarah so please do that. Istikhaarah means seeking guidance or advice. And who is better to seek advice from than Allah who is Al Aleem - The All knowing. He knows what is best for you do istikhaarah and ask Him. And if this guy good 4 u then Allah will make easy thepath to marrying him and if hes not good then Allah will turn you away frome ach other.

    So open your heart, listen to your parents concerns. Try to ask them to meet him and get to know him at least - so you can get to know him to and see if hes really compatible with you. I know what you'll say:
    " He's religious - he cares about his deen."

    I met a guy 1 year after Isa. I was more practicing. He was very Islamic MashaAllah - full beard - always praying. Friendly but reserved - lowered his gaze. Very very pious. We did not meet online - we met in a 'natural' environment. He liked me - we got on well - so as I was impressed by his morals we considered one another for marriage. I thought hecause he was onda deen he wz right for me - but he never finalised anything - he kept me hanging. And I soon heard he was after another Muslim girl I knew - she waspretty. Anyway we were not compatible for number of reasons I'm not going to list here - it would be far too long. But i learnt that just because someone is religious - doesn't mean theyr right 4 u.

    So deen alone is not enough. You gotta think about compatibility too etc. And you can move on if you need to. Do istikhaarah and take it from there sis! Good luck.
    W/sXxx

    • Asalaam alaikum,

      So deen alone is not enough. Masha'allah, that is so true. I've known perfectly good Muslim brothers and sisters who just aren't 'right for each other and though they would be happy initially, once the butterflies subside, they would have gone so far apart it would have been a disaster.

      Proposals are a lot of work and both parties need to be on the same page on a lot of things: children, living situation, studies, work, etc. Even things like social involvement, masjid attendance and work, and other rational things such as these. If one is a political advocate working in politics, is this compatible with a partner who believes that political choices are futile? No, of course not. If a man wants children right away, but the wife wants to wait 4 years for children, will this work or can they compromise? If a man wants his wife always at home, but she is not happy with this, and vice versa. A man may think keeping late hours at work for career advancement is acceptable meanwhile his wife sits in frustration and hurt at home, lonely and worried.

      All these things are very important. And while we are all believers in Allah (swt), we are people He made for a specific purpose and certain person to love, comfort and have children with in time.

      Yet, what all these questions do is to ascertain what it is they both want respectively, individually and Insha'allah in a marriage. While we can compromise on some issues, we cannot compromise our principals and core beliefs.

      I am very happy to see such clarity in your advice Sister Zaara. Though it may have come through a very painful experience, this is what we are to take away from it: wisdom. Alhamdulillah for such a blessing.

      While I also concur with SisterZ's advice, one of the easiest ways to break down some of the initial barriers is with a simple webcam and introduction. Sister Tammy, I think if you're parents could actually see him, then at least they would know he is a real person. However, as suggested, he does need to meet them and you in the proper Islamic fashion. Needless to say, the internet hides a person's true character, so this could be the beginning of finding out more about him.

      Having said that, I think whatever your parents say, that you pull your own reigns back and take the time to realize that you need to really see think about this scenario before getting too attached. Why? I'll explain, but please understand that this isn't a slight against his culture, but from experience in what I have seen in converts.

      Reverts/converts are, at times, finding it incredibly difficult to find Muslim wives because of the prejudice directed at them from the woman's family and his family, likewise. Understand that he has given up on a lot of his past life and maybe even some of his family who may dislike or even hate him. For some converts/reverts they are alone both from a emotional perspective and in the physical sense, as well. Due to this and the difficulty they may have in places like America in finding a Muslim wife, they will look overseas for one. This can be a very intense roller coaster for both him and the girl he proposes to simply because of distance and expectations.

      He will be going through a lot of emotions and inner questions. There will be times when due to the fact that his heart is ripe for the Muslim wife he envisions, he will say whatever it takes to find and get her. This doesn't mean he is lying to you, but that he may compromise his true self for any chance at love. Perhaps this is a part of human nature, but it can have very bad implications if he started out expecting one thing, compromised it to have you as his wife and then upon reflection, wishes you to answer the higher bar he had initially set. This is not to say that his initial expectations are bad, but to acknowledge that you must be ready to be on your deen, as well.

      You might think, "he's from the U.S. and liberated" about some things, but if, for example, you have a slack hijab, it's probably going to be an issue. This is not to say that you should raise your religious observation for a man, because irrespective of any man, you should do it for Allah (swt), but it is something that you need to keep in mind about marriage, no matter who the husband is going to be. More so is the case with reverts who have an acute perspective regarding religion and the adherence of it.

      It's also important to note that you and your family are going to become his "Muslim" family. He will expect all of you to be welcoming of him and so the issues that your parents have now must be overcome. If not, this will continue to hurt him and may either affect his faith and your potential marriage in numerous ways. Your parents will bear a great responsibility if they hurt him and cause him to feel badly about our religion and will have to answer to Allah (swt) for it.

      If anything your parents have it wrong: his expectations may be greater than theirs' from the Islamic perspective.

      • yeah I totally agree with you. I don't want him to suffer or be in pain anymore so I will just accept whatever God wants because he wants the best for us.Enshallah everything wil be fine. Thank you so much 🙂

    • Thanks alot for sharing your experience with me. you are right I can't see the future and I can't be sure if he is gonna be th right person for me in the future.But at least you got the chance to see and talk to him in reality while in my case I can't do this because my parents don't wana even see him which is unfair. I know that i might find difficulties based on the cultural differences but I believe that religion is everything and if you live ur life according to the teaching of islam then you will live a happy life.Even in my culture and in my country i see a lot of people knowing each other and then being totally shocked about the reality of the other person and ( they are from the same culture and the same environment).
      Eventually I will keep praying and asking God for help because he's the only ine who knows the truth about us.

  4. Walaykumsalaam Tammy,

    Just ask him to come and visit you and your family. Full on? Maybe. But its the only way of going forward. What will your folks do if he comes? Throw him out? I doubt it. They may scream and wail infront of you, but not infront of him. Or maybe they will and I'm sure that worries you. But he's claiming that he'll make the effort, so let him and see how far it goes. You'll find out if he can withstand your family pressure and go all the way or not. Having said that, your parents are fearing the 'unknown'. Once they meet him, hopefully they will meet a 'nice, kind, polite Muslim man' - and so part of the basis for their fear will already have begun to fade.

    In the meantime speak to an Imam and ask him to help you inquire about this man. You need to speak to people who know him about his character. Otherwise, all you know of him is what he's told you. You may trust him because you've built up relationship with him, but your family havent and they will just see him as 'some guy on the internet'. Get this Imam to come and speak to your family aswell. It maybe that as this is the first time your family are having to deal with cross cultural marriage, they are not open to it. But the more you talk about it, the more they become familiar with the idea, the more their hearts are likely to warm to the idea. If they never meet him, there will never be any chance of them warming to the idea, because they will always be in their comfort zone without anyone challenging their mentality.

    It is not easy Tam, I know. All you want is for your family to give you a chance and help you inquire about this man and see if it can successfully result in marriage insha'Allah. But it maybe a long road ahead of you and possibly a painul one. So strengthen yourself and be brave. Brace yourself and ask him to visit your family. Atleast you'll know where you stand after that. Its better than wandering years later 'what if' - because that will cause you more anguish, pain and heartache.

    ***

    So keep yourself on check. Purify your intentions. Perform istikhara. Ask him to visit your family and perhaps invite an Imam at the same time. If things go further, ensure you have some make enquiries for you - that is most necessary.

    May Allah make your path smooth and successful, aameen.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Well, that sounds a really good idea but i don't imagine myself doing this.Honestly, I'm not really brave to make him to see my parents.I don't imagine what my parents would do in that situation and I don't wana put him in a embarassing position.I'm really tired of thinking about this issue and I see know hope coming from my parents.I DO REALLY appreciate their concerns but they have totally wrong misconcepts about others and I don't know if i can change that . Thank you!!

      • I am going through the same thing! And my parents don't even want to speak to me or anything. I have been called bad names and stuff. But now the only thing I can do is ask my uncle to help me and ask Allah for help. My parents dont even want to meet him he's left his number and they said they would ring but haven't yet. So I suggest you ask someone in your family you know that are not judging and will listen to. My parents aren't listening to me and don't care even after I said I know I will have happiness if I marry him but still they said horrible things to me. So I can only advise keep your faith strong in Allah keep praying and ask a member of your family to help you or even speak to the guy and they can go to your parents and tell them. Insha'Allah this is what I intend to do as my parents don't want to do anything more about it but deep down I know he is the one and that he will help me in my deen and strengthen my imaan. The istikharas I have done have showed me that he is.

        • salam sister T.. may i ask, how do u know through the istikharah?

          • I've had very strong feelings after praying istikhara and dreams. I know we shouldn't rely on dreams to make the decisions but I've never had dreams like it before so it's a first and has helped me to make a decision.

  5. So deen alone is not enough.. Then what else matter?
    Isn't deen the number one?
    I know different culture will create some barriers, as different ways of thinking... but if the couple can compromise, won't it be like pieces of puzzle coming together? Different attracts, the same repel..
    A lot of interracial marriage ends up in divorce, i understand that.. but then, those couples, majority of them do not lead the Islamic life... most of interracial marriages really start from haraam relationship, so no wonder after all those 'love talks', when it get down to marriage, to the real deal, they would topper.
    I know culture is everything nowadays..But if the couple put Islam above it, it will work our right?
    Isn't it written that Prophet likes muslims who don't marry among themselves.. because if they have mixed marriage like this, this is one way Islam will spread..

    • Asalaam alaikum Sister Mira,

      It's good to see you around. I hope that Allah (swt) has brought you ease these days.

      I wasn't talking about culture as much as expectations from the new revert's perspective. Many reverts are saddened to experience the fact that many born-Muslims don't live up to the deen and so this creates problems. I am a strong believer in interracial marriages because it tears down the racial lines we create and I believe that the children from these marriages will bring about a greater understanding of Islam, so my observation is not based on that, but a knowledge that some people bring baggage with them and acknowledging it is important by both parties.

      What additionally matters in a marriage is the life both people will lead. If one is an emergency room doctor and the other potential spouse is not aware that this would mean him/her having to be on call 24/7, then this would create problems down the road. Imagine being intimate with a spouse and then all of a sudden, the doctor must leave right in the middle of it! That takes a huge amount of understanding upfront. There would be times the doctor would sleep at the hospital instead of coming home, would be on call for holidays, etc. How does reality bear with having children, the home life and love life? Deen is the first step, but the reality of who we are also comes into play when choosing a spouse.

      Let's take the example of a travelling alim who splits his time between studying in a M.E. country while flying overseas for speaking engagements during important events and days on the Islamic calendar. Here you have someone who is propagating the deen, but it takes a very understanding wife to be in this type of marriage. The same would be for a longshoremen who is off on a platform in the sea for 2-6 months at a time. This would be a terrible scenario for a marriage despite the level of faith in each partner. So our living circumstances do play a role, also.

      Deen first and then the potential spouses must engage each other in learning and talking about their plans, what life will be like for them and what future they envision together. If they make compromises upfront, support each other and commit in the end, then they can overcome any obstacle with a stronger grasp on their deen, as well.

  6. Thank everyone for giving me ur advice. I really appreciate that. I do really believe in God and I hope he wll do the best for me and I know that nothing is gonna stop his will no matter what so I will just leave it for God and I'll be satisfied and accept whatever God wants 🙂

  7. ditto...

  8. Asalaamualaikum Tammy,

    As for experience in this regard, I DO!

    First of all if he is so religious, he wouldn't talk to girls unnecessarily. If he wanted to learn about Islam and the meaning of verses, he should have gone to a local Imam who would explain him about verses and Islam in detail. However, the guy approached you.

    Most important thing sister, 99% of time what we feel as love is not actually love but infatuation or addiction.

    As for your parents, THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! How can you expect your parents to say "YES" to someone who they do not know at all. They are not "UNFAIR" but "FAIR" with you. Even if your parents say "YES" to that guy will he come? Even if he comes and impresses your parents, he will be fake and not original because he will have only one thing in his mind and that is "IMPRESSING YOUR PARENTS".

    When we have craze for someone, we do not listen to anybody. I am damn sure that no matter what people comment on your post, you will still be in touch with him and it is not because you love him but because "SATAN" is leading you astray.

    Before you call him to your country to meet your parents, check him. I know what I am going to say is little weird but you should do it to be sure.

    Make Fake IDs and send him requests on social networking site. Use any name of a female and talk to him as a different female. Talk in such a way that he should not recognize that it is "YOU". Talk to him and see his responses. Check if it is only you who he talks to or others as well.

    Do istikharaah after you are sure, then call him to your place and tell your parents to meet him at least once and tell your parents that you will go with their decision no matter what it is.

    In cases like yours there are so many points that I can't type but according to Islamic Shariah, if you love someone marry him/her with his/her parents approval but do not stay in haraam relationship and earn Allah's wrath.

    There is a simple solution for all this. Ask yourself who you want Allah or Him. If you want both ask Allah to make things easy for you and keep praying. If you want Allah then stay not in touch with Him tel you both are halaal to each other and if you want him then do whatever you wish.

  9. Asalam-o-alikum, i m 23 year old girl.

    (Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  10. Asaalam alaikom tammy
    My name is Zainab i am 21. and im in almost similar situation as you and most people who have replied to you. Today i hope to receive a response from you or someone who can help me too.
    I live in America and i fell in love with a guy from Saudi Arabia who attends the same school as me. I am muslim too. and we fell in love with each other and we love each other so much. The problem is he respects his mothers wishes and that is not to bring back an american wife. And the other problem is he is sunni i am shea. I know Allah brought us together for a reason. Because till this day i still remember the very first moment i saw him. I dont know what to do. He is so scared to fight for me because he does not want to lose his family. I told him a million times i would not ask him to choose between his family and me, because just like him my family is important. So what do you think?

    • Zainab, you have no future with this guy. You can't argue someone into marrying you. He has already told you that he cannot marry you because of this family. You should believe him, and end your contact with him.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  11. hiee ..my name is muskan im 21. and i have in relationship wid one guy he is sunni muslim and i m shiya muslim..but my first dad is late so my mother did second marriage wid punjabi so i already told about dis to my bf and we r rarely 2yrs ago in relationship ...so he told me dat he will ask his mom and he will not go against wid his parents and he sai if my mom say no then also i'll try to say about marriage but the main reason is wat he sai his mom will say no to do marry wid me bcos my backgroundd is not good and parents also will not allow to say yes...wat to do..but we love both each other so muc

  12. I am in the very same situation.but the only difference is that i did nikkah to save myself from future sins.His family told my mother about our nikkah.yet my mother cannot disclose it at home and is quiet.my family members know that i am interested in simeone.my father even met him and rejected him.therfore my mother is not bringing the topic again..i dunt have the courage like her.but this is the the time when i am being pressurized by His family to come over and leave my family as they all know and are not showing ibterest

  13. SalaM guyz.well im also In problem :'( i love British gurl but She Born In london and em from saudia rabia also i born here She come to riaydh for Job we are frnd before i met her on tango.thn day by day i judge her even i like her bcz she iz soo honest religious gurl masha allah even i propose her she accpet my Love alhumdulilla her age 27.and my age 22 soo i dnt hve any problem main thing iz we are muslims thats it well after 5mounth i spoke my mom dad about her they said no i said why they said age and natiinality i was haaaan wht sooo main thing iz we are muslims thats it even i introduce her to my mom they no diffrence still same masha allah we arw still together after 2mounth it will b 1year masha allah problem iz if we see islâmico way we are right even my gurlfrnd did istakhara result positive alhumdulilla but still My side still same só guyz can ú tell me wht i can doo em very sad gUyz...... :'( :'( :'(

    • rizwa, you can continue trying to convince your parents. Let them know how important it is to you. In the meantime, however, be careful not to spend time alone with her or commit sins with her.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. Is this still open can i submit a question?
    Jazak-Allah!

  15. assalam o alaikum
    tammy you are not in love this is madeness so be practical i know you are intelligent you are brave too so do as your parents say with best wishes

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