HOW CAN I ERASE THE HATE TOWARDS SAUDIS FROM MY HEART?
I AM AN AMERICAN MUSLIMAH MARRIED TO A MAN FROM SAUDI ARABIA.. I AM NOT ACCUSTOMED TO THE WAY OF LIFE IN SAUDI. ARABIA,. BUT HAVE HEARD MANY DIFFERENT THINGS ABOUT THE PEOPLE AND THEIR CULTURE BEFORE I CAME HERE.. I HAVE BEEN HERE GOING ON 7 YEARS AND HAVE STARTED TO UNDERSTAND THE PEOPLE AND THEIR CULTURE WHICH IS NOT TO FAR FROM WHAT I AM ACCUSTOMED TO.. I WAS A VERY KIND, CARING AND LOVING PERSON BUT HAVE RECENTLY BECOME TO HATE SAUDI PEOPLE.. EVERY WHERE I GO THEY ARE VERY RUDE AND ARROGANT TO NOT JUST ME BUT ALSO OUR CHILDREN, WHO WERE BORN AND RAISED IN AMERICA.. MANY YEARS I HAVE IGNORED THE ABUSE THAT I HAVE RECEIVED THE ENTIRE TIME I HAVE BEEN HERE.
I AM NOT SAYING THAT ALL THE PEOPLE ARE BAD BUT TO BE HONEST I FIND THE MAJORITY OF THEM TO BE VERY RUDE AND ARROGANT.. MANY TIMES I HEAR THEM TELLING ME AND OTHERS, "THAT WE ARE NOT SAUDIS AND SAUDIS ARE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD CAUSE THEY ARE TRUE MUSLIMS".. I AM SORRY TO SAY BUT THAT IS VERY UNTRUE.. I HAVE TRIED MANY TIMES TO GET HELP WITH LEARNING MORE ABOUT ISLAM BUT ALL I GET FROM EVERY PLACE I GO TO, TO EVERY PERSON I TALK WITH IS, SORRY YOUR SLOWING THE GROUP DOWN AND WE CAN NO LONGER HAVE YOU IN OUR CLASS.. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE MUSLIMS IN SAUDI THAT THEY DONT REALIZE THE REWARDS THEY WILL GET FOR HELPING NEW MUSLIMS UNDERSTAND ISLAM BETTER?
MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ATTACKED MANY TIMES AND EVEN HURT BY OTHER CHILDREN SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE AMERICANS.. TRUE WE ARE AMERICANS BUT WE ARE ALSO MUSLIMS, DOESNT THAT ACCOUNT FOR ANYTHING HERE?. I HAVE PUT UP WITH ABOUT ALL I CAN TAKE AND HAVE STARTED TO FIGHT BACK WHICH IS SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO.. BUT I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE PEOPLE THINKING THEY ARE BETTER BECAUSE THEY ARE SAUDI.. TREATING OTHERS POORLY BASED ON THEIR ORIGIN IS VERY WRONG.. YES, I KNOW THIS ALSO HAPPENS TO MANY ARABS WHO GO TO AMERICA AS WELL AND TRULY I AM SORRY FOR THEM TO GO THRU THAT AT ALL.. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I EVER TREATED ANY ONE SO POORLY.
I SEE ARAB KIDS SPITTING AND HITTING THE WORKERS IN THEIR COUNTRY WHO ARE NOT SAUDIS BUT FROM PAKISTAN, INDIA, EGYPT AND OTHER AREAS OF THE WORLD.. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE PEOPLE OF ISLAM?. WHY IS THERE NO LOVE IN THIS COUNTRY FOR OTHERS OTHER THAN SAUDIS?. CAUSE OF THESE BEHAVIORS I HAVE STARTED TO HATE THE SAUDI PEOPLE AND FIND MYSELF FIGHTING CONSTANTLY WITH THEM WHEN THEY ARE RUDE TO ME.. . I HAVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I JUST STAY HOME TO AVOID ANY CONFRONTATIONS BUT I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER.. IT SEEMS THAT ONLY THE RELIGIOUS SAUDIS ARE KIND AND CARING BUT THOSE ARE HARD TO FIND AND VERY RARE.. I DONT WISH TO GO THRU ANYMORE PAIN NOR MY CHILDREN FROM ARROGANT PEOPLE WHO ONLY WISH TO HURT OTHERS CAUSE IT MAKES THEM FEEL BIG.. PLEASE HELP ME TO ERASE THE HATE I HAVE IN MY HEART DUE TO ALL THE HATRED I HAVE BEEN THRU WHILE IN SAUDI ARABIA..
. DESPERATE FOR GUIDANCE, A SISTER IN ISLAM
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Hi my sister, Im sorry your are going through all of this hard time. I am Saudi and I can tell you that Saudis are not the easiest people to live with. I dont know what should I tell you I will give you a tip. Saudis cant argue with you if you quated prophet Mohamed (God's blessings and peace be upon him). So if they said something that you know its wrong use this method and you will usualy make them stop.
One last thig, people are diffrent in diffrent parts of Saudi Arabaia so, in what city do you live? people that live on the Eastren region are more freindly.
As salam alaikum sister......
I am sorry you got treated that way in saudi arabia........I am a muslim pakistani with parents from india and pakistan who was born and raised in saudi arabia for 18 years. Then i came to canada and became a canadian and am also an american green card holder.....
From my experience living in saudi has been the harshest time of my life......its one that i am readily trying to forget ......those were painfull memories.......
The saudi's need to understand the true meaning of RESPECT....and it seems arrogance is the only thing that they respect........thus the ignorant society....
I understand that the baitullah is in KSA.....but the arrogance of saudi's i saw in front of the prophets mosque......when two guys pushed through 4 ladies walking right in front of the Prophets Mosque!!!! i will never forget....
I like how ahmed deedat put it best.....
Islam religion without people.....christianity...people without religion....
Have patience sister.....Allah will see the all of them (the good and the bad) inshallah.......
Assalaam Alaikum Sister,
May Allah guide you in the right path.. " Ameen"
I also wish a very prosperous Holy month of Ramadan.
My Name is Nasir and I am from India but my brothers are employeed in Saudi Arabia. When I read your article and the behaviour of arabs towards you in Saudi Arabia, tears were just roling down from my eyes.
Please don't get dishearted and have wrong assumption regarding the Arabs because Prophet Mohammed SAW (peace be upon him) belonged to the same civilization and do you think that It was easy for him to spread Islam through out the world?
My brother also keeps on saying the behaviour of Saudi's that they are very rude and they treat Indian, Pakistani's, Egyptians as slaves and my brother was fasting in this month of Ramadan and had a serious problem with his health but the Sheikh didn't even considered his situation.. and was not even alowing him to relax.. which was very difficult for me to digest but still I pray and ask Allah to forgive them.
The major problems with most of the Arabs are they are rich and are not aware about the rest of the world, When I conmpare Indian to few Arabs I feel that U can find better muslims in India who are religious and also want to spread the message of Allah inspite of living in a country where u will find majorities of non muslims.. and the best part is the non muslims also fairly respect our culture and religion.
I dont know How to convey this message to all Arabs that they are not superior species of Adam. All are equal in front of Allah. I am very happy that you want to learn more about Islam so please make use of Internet and get as much as you can. TO be honest I think this is a kind of test from Allah.
I feel pity on those who don't want to help you regarding the path of truth "ISLAM." but its a humble request not to blame all Arabs, try to reside in a location where u find people who are friendly.
Salam alaikum sister, I once read in an excerpt from a book on Saudi society, that most Saudis consider it abeneath them' to throw out their household garbage. This sums up the general mentality of most Saudis, who are my brothers in Islam, but need an attitude adjustment. It is so ironic that I grew closer to Islam after moving to a non-muslim country (Canada), where people have hundred-fold more humanity that ordinary muslim states, especially the oil-rich Arab states. My bitter experiences in the middle east of peoples' utterly shallow and racist behavior created so much resentment that for a while I abandoned the idea of Islam. What tore at me the most was the general level of ignorance about the world. But I also realized that if Pakistanis were given a wad of cash overnight, then they too would behave no differently, perhaps even worse. So I have accepted it as the general state of the entire muslim world, which is why we are in the pitiful condition of today.
It was only through the Grace of Allah (swt) that I realized the teachings of Islam were different from today's muslim culture. Be patient sister, there isn't a single person who hasn't visited Saudi and doesn't share the same opinion. As the old saying goes, what goes around"¦"¦comes around
peace be upon upon you sister.I'm married also to a saudi same you but i did not experince what you have.Do not generalized about Saudi people to me they are very good .You are staying in a bad neighborhood so change it.Actually,i learned to become aware of islam and learned about the beauty of this religion when I stay here in Saudi.People are good depends how you behave about them,do not look islam on people but look what islam teach because we are all subjected to test in our life.I suggest you to study with us in a islamic Dawah center,you can find satisfaction by studying your religion as well as what can you do to others ,you can find many friends there to to be with.
Dear sister,
Full disclosure: I am a Saudi/American female. I can relate.
The problem is Saudi society is torn between its digression to pre-Islamic thought (ironically) and the modern, progressive need for change.
For example: recently in the news, a 38-year-old ENT was beaten and kept from going to work because a co-worker came and proposed to her father (yes, totally un-Islamic). In the tribe she belonged to, it is customary for the father to take her salary, and marry her off to someone in the tribe.
Progress is not something antithetical to Islam, rather it is something antithetical to the tribal mentality prevalent in Saudi Arabia.
Of course, that doesn't mean that there are no slices of Saudi society that are progressive. Change comes very slowly, and there are activists working on supporting the weak and implementing change, but the political landscape is turbulent enough already that change can upend the status quo for those in power.
So, take heart, this really doesn't have anything to do with you being American: If you live in Riyadh, chances are you will hear racist language directed at Jeddawis. If you live in the Eastern Province, chances are the Shia in your community are treated with scorn and contempt.
In the end, there is a malaise that has firmly gripped Saudi society, and the only way that it will change is if people go back to the application of the Quran and Sunnah in their lives, to the humanity and spirit emanating from Allah's teachings, towards tolerance and acceptance that people don't have to agree with you all the time....in the end, Muslims according to the Quran should not discriminate between people based on the color of their skin, or the language they communicate with, or.....
But you know that, so my advice is to try to build a community of your own, or else you will become extremely depressed. Seek out others that you can communicate with. If you live in Jeddah, let me know and we can talk. I also feel somewhat isolated here, though I was raised here most of my life, and I am of "pure" Saudi origin, whatever that means (That is just funny: most Saudis are originally from Yemen...and Hejazis are a mix, so who the hell cares what your lineage is?).
Reem, that was a very interesting comment. I appreciate your insights.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
First of all I am sorry to hear that you have had a bad experience in Saudi Arabia. I am a Canadian and have left a very comfortable job to come and work here in Saudi Arabia. My experience is totally different from yours. I find Saudi people very friendly and accomodating. In my view there is a general desire to follow the tenets of Islam to be an example to other muslims. Honestly speaking in my eight months' stay I havent come accross any such abuse or miconduct that is unfortunately experienced by you.
My sincere advice is to recognize the cultural differences as they are between the Saudi and US societies. It is also very important to recognise that changing faith requires a huge adjustment. At times when we do accept a new faith some behavioral changes are difficult for us to adapt and remain in our subconcious mind challanging our level of tolerence towards to news environment. An American colleague who became muslim and married to a Labanese man loved going to beach. After accepting Islam she couldnt go to beach the way she used to. This resulted in frustation which was getting expressed in many other ways. Her counselling sessions identified these issues and were addressed for her to deal with the hatred that she started developing towards Arabs. Please remember that hate hurts the person who is hating not the person who is hated. It is a sever negative and unhealthy emotion. Hating anyone based on their race color and creed is anyway not a civilised behavior and certainly not a good American behavior. A common American has a lot of sense of fairness. I feel you need to excersice that and stop becoming a racist yourself. May Allah give you positive thoughts and emotions and excellent experience of people around you. Ameen.